Was just going about my day and realized how much I would love if Perc Furlan asked me out and how much of a fool I would act around him.
sophie i literally have no idea how this happened but pls take this. i firmly believe percolate!furlan has no idea how to actually ask someone he likes out on a date and this is the result.
"What's your least favourite meal of the day?"
You pause, the beverage Furlan's just prepared for you half-way to your parted lips, your tongue already pressing forward in your mouth in preparation for it. The cafe is lively at this time in the day, other customers sipping their coffees and chatting in a din that mounts to incoherency as you sit at the end of the bar with your textbook in front of you.
You haven't even cracked it open yet.
You look at Furlan, bewildered but amused: an expression you think might be just for him now, what with how often you seem to make it in his presence. Over the past few months you've struck a sort of unlikely camaraderie with the friendly (if not slightly awkward) barista, having become something of a regular at the cafe--though your relationship exists only within the walls of the coffee shop just off campus. Your friendship starts and ends when the bell chimes above the shop door.
"My least favourite?" you look for clarification, though you're certain you heard him right.
Furlan nods, his eyes rapt and expression eager as you purse your lips.
"Why?"
"Levi says it's rude to answer a question with another question," Furlan says, raising a finger in the air.
"Who's Levi?" you ask him, your brow pulling in confusion.
Furlan groans playfully, abandoning the explanation and leaning forward across the counter towards you. His hands rest on your neglected text book. He's quite close. Closer than you think he's ever been.
You set your coffee down.
The barista blinks at you, his silvery eyes doelike and entreating.
"Can't you just answer the question?"
You bite the inside of your cheek.
"Lunch," you finally admit, and Furlan pulls himself back up to his full height, retreating from your personal space.
"Why lunch?" he asks you brightly, suspiciously happy to hear about your least-enjoyed mealtime.
"I don't know," you say with a little shrug. You wave your hand around vaguely as you go on to elaborate: "I'm always too lazy to pack a lunch the night before, so I end up throwing whatever's easy into my backpack at the last minute when I'm on my way out the door and rushing to get to class. By the time lunch actually rolls around it's just a kind of... sad assortment of foods that don't even really go together."
Furlan nods, his expression empathetic--as though he understands the struggle of slogging through two back to back lectures and a lab, only to realize all you have for lunch is a bruised apple, six stale cheesy crackers, and a mint chocolate protein bar that's been at the bottom of your backpack for so long you fear that when you open the package it may actually turn to dust.
"Not only that," suddenly it's like you have a million things to say about the noontime meal, "but I always eat lunch on the first floor of the library near the south entrance, and for the past three weeks one of the fluorescent lights has been flickering, so I have to sit facing the wall like a psychopath just to avoid a migraine."
"Why don't you just go eat somewhere else?" Furlan asks, like it's an obvious solution.
You huff. "That's the only place in the library that gets full wifi signal, and it has two outlets so I can plug my laptop and my phone in to charge at the same time before my afternoon classes. I've been eating lunch there for years."
A little smile is pulling at Furlan's mouth when you finish your impassioned explanation.
"What?" you ask him, not quite trusting the quirk of his lips. It's different from the wide, easygoing grin you're used to.
"Nothing! Nothing!" he says with a laugh, and suddenly the expression you're used to is back again. "Do you need a top-up before you go? Your class is starting soon."
You glance at the watch on your wrist and see he's not wrong--you have just enough time to make it back to campus.
You haven't cracked your textbook once in the entire time you'd been at the cafe. You sigh, sweeping it off the counter and back into your bag. You peek into the little hole on the lid of your to-go cup.
"I think I'm ok on the top-up front. Thanks, though."
You stand from your seat.
"Seeya later!" Furlan calls as you step away, and you lift your hand in a parting wave as you make your way towards the exit.
The bell chimes overhead on your way out.
It's been 24 days, and the light in the library is still flickering.
You feel a twitch in your eye as you stare up at the fluorescent light that is proving to be the bane of your own miserable existence, wondering if an email to the university President would be considered excessive (or punishable by expulsion) in your quest to remedy the situation--you've already contacted campus security, maintenance, and the main library email in your desperation.
You sigh, turning yourself around in your seat and facing the dull grey wall.
Lunch today is half a box of raisins you found in your cupboard that you could not even begin to explain where you got, a piece of baguette (the butt end) that's near rock solid, and a handful of grapes. You stare down at the grape held in your left hand and the raisin resting in your right, wondering how you somehow ended up with two different forms of the same food in one lunch and yet don't like either of them.
"Did you know the french word for grapes is 'raisins'?"
Your head swivels around at the unexpected voice, eyes widening at you meet a familiar silver gaze.
Furlan stands before you with a backpack slung over his shoulder. He has a paper bag in one hand, and a tray of coffee in the other.
You give him his look--that same bewildered but amused one you've gotten so used to--blinking up at him in confusion from your seat.
"Then what do they call raisins?" you ask--answering his question with another question again. Because that's a totally normal reaction to running into your favourite barista in the middle of the day in a remote corner of your university's library where you'd been staring resentfully at a wall, right?
Furlan laughs, setting the tray of coffee (two coffees--printed with the cafe logo you've come to know so well) on the table in front of you. "I don't know, actually."
He takes the seat across from you, letting his backpack drop to the floor at his feet.
"What are you doing here?" you finally ask him the question that you should have almost certainly lead with.
It's strange seeing Furlan outside of the coffee shop. No apron over the sweatshirt he has on, no stir stick tucked behind his ear that he forgot about. Your stomach feels strange, and you don't think you can blame the unappetizing spread you'd brought for lunch.
Furlan looks at the meagre collection of food in front of you.
"Man you weren't kidding," he says, eyes flickering up to meet yours. He looks concerned, like he should call someone to do a wellness check--or a pizza delivery. "Is it always so... depressing?"
"You just answered my question with a question," you reply flatly, "Eli would be upset."
"Levi," Furlan corrects you with a chuckle.
"Whoever."
Furlan scrunches up his nose a little bit, like he's trying not to laugh. Your eyes meet for a moment longer than you think is normal, and his gaze flitters down to the bag clasped between his hands.
"I, uh," he struggles a little, like he knows the words he wants to say but not the order to say them in. He looks up at you again. "Lunch. You don't like lunch."
You nod slowly as if to encourage him to elaborate.
"So I wanted... I just thought... you know--"
You actually don't know. In fact, you're starting to question whether or not he knows.
"I brought you lunch," he finally gets the words out, pushing the bag in his hands across the table towards you.
It's painfully quiet in the moments that follow.
"You brought me lunch?" you ask him quietly. You slide a finger into the fold of the paper bag in front of you, lifting it open. Inside you find two sandwiches, a brownie, and a cinnamon roll from the cafe. There are two cups of coffee in the tray just beside you.
"Us."
You tear your eyes away from the food and look back at Furlan's suddenly very pink, surprisingly earnest face.
"I brought us lunch. If you're okay with that."
You swallow down the excitement that threatens to bubble up from your empty stomach.
"Yeah," you say with a little laugh, "I'm okay with that."
He grins.
(It's only at the end of the meal--sandwiches eaten, coffees (your usual order) mostly drained, the cinnamon roll and brownie each divided down the middle so the two of you can share--that you ask him how he'd managed to find your corner. He'd walked the entire first floor looking for the flickering light.)
yo college boyfriend farlan is so smart but no one ever knows it because he doesn’t brag, you only realize when you’re taking an online quiz next to him in the lounge and he’s providing every answer without even tearing his eyes away from his phone too much. after you give him a narrow-eyed accusatory look, he grins without meeting your eyes.
Summary: After he and his friends are hired as temporary 'bodyguards' for a spoiled girl from the interior, Furlan finds himself being seduced by said girl.
Waking up from your nap, you rubbed your tired eyes and dragged yourself out of bed. What now? You asked yourself. There wasn’t much to do in the underground. You weren’t even allowed to leave the house without one of your ‘bodyguards’. You rolled your eyes, this was all so annoying. And unfair too, you didn’t do anything wrong.
You had always suspected your father was up to something shady but you always stayed out of it. As long as your family was financially stable enough to keep you safe in the interior, surrounded by everything you ever wanted, then you didn’t care where the money came from.
That is until you were being woken up in the middle of the night, ordered to quickly pack a bag and practically being shipped to the underground. You were barely given any explanation but you knew the gist. Your father ended up doing business with the wrong people and he’d hired a couple of thugs from the underground to protect you.
Although you knew the intention was to keep you safe, the idea of sending you to the underground to live with criminals seemed a lot more dangerous than taking your chances above ground. But once you met said criminals, you understood where your father was coming from.
Sure the raven-haired male was a little harsh and closed off but when you left him unprovoked he wasn’t all that bad. Having always lived in a neat, spotless, mansion you were worried that staying in the underground meant living in filth. So you secretly appreciated his obsession with cleaning, though you’d never tell him that.
And then there was the young redheaded girl. She was a pure soul. Her big green eyes stared up at you filled with excitement as she asked what it was like above ground.
But the one that caught your attention the most was a boy your age with dirty blond hair and baby blue irises. He seemed to be the middle ground between his two friends. He was kind and polite but could be serious and level-headed when the situation called for it. Unbeknownst to him, his sweet but shy personality had enticed you from the start.
Stretching your arms over your head, you decided you’d go downstairs and try to find a snack. For the most part, your time living with the trio hadn’t been eventful. Not much to do but sleep, eat, clean, and repeat. Little did you know, that was about to change. Upon entering the living room you were pleasantly surprised to see the blonde sitting on the couch alone. “Hi.”
“Morning,” Furlan greeted, marking the page he was on by folding the corner. He tossed the book to the side and turned his attention to you.
You folded your hands behind your back, the action causing your chest to puff out in an attempt to look more appealing to him. “Where’s Levi and Isabel?”
“Working.” Biting back a smile at his answer, you approached the couch and sat down beside him. Your arm brushed against his, barely leaving any space between the two of you. Tilting your head and looking at him through your lashes, you asked, “So it’s just us then?”
“What are you doing?” Furlan felt the heat creeping up the back of his neck but held eye contact with you. He didn’t want you to see the effect you had on him.
“What do you mean?” you feigned innocents.
You both knew exactly what he meant. The times when you’d bat your eyes at him and talk to him in that sultry voice that you had reserved for him. Or when you’d sneak up behind him, gently trailing your fingers down his spine as you asked if there was anything you could do for him.
Always pulling the same reactions from him. Shivers at your touches. Face flushed as he replied to whatever you said, oblivious and unassuming. His shy nature never ceased to send butterflies through your stomach. You wanted to see if he’d actually follow through with his confrontation. “The touching and the flirting.”
“What about it?” you asked.
“Is there something you need? Cause if so you can just ask." He noticed your look of confusion and elaborated, “You don’t have to butter me up.”
Ah. So he still didn’t get it. He was under the impression that you were just using him. For someone so smart he sure was clueless. You’d put more work into letting this boy know you wanted him than you had with anyone you’d met before.
Above ground, all you had to do was look at someone a certain way and they’d come crawling. But you were sure he’d be worth it. You shrugged, “I just like you.”
“Yeah, right,” he scoffed.
He watched you smile at him as if he’d just said something absolutely ridiculous. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Y/N… C’mon.” He wasn’t buying it. In his mind, either you wanted something and were trying to bribe him to get it or you were trying to get him in trouble. Either way, he wanted to avoid getting himself into a messy situation.
If his suspicions weren’t enough, he’d also heard it from his best friend. Levi had noticed your advances before Furlan did, warning him to not get involved with you. That fooling around with a girl who not only belonged above ground but in the interior as well could only lead to trouble.
“I happen to think you're a very attractive man that’s all.” Realistically you probably should’ve left him alone. But your whole life you’ve always gotten everything you wanted. You didn’t want him to be the one thing you couldn’t have. Especially when he was what you yearned for most.
“I’m not dumb.” Maybe you really didn’t see the power imbalance between you two, Furlan thought, giving you the benefit of the doubt. But even when your father was asking him and his friends to protect his own daughter, Furlan could tell just by the look on his face that he'd rather have been anywhere but there.
In the underground, talking to low-life thugs who he probably deemed as peasants compared to him. “I grew up in the underground and you grew up in the interior surrounded by rich folk and being given everything you want.”
“So?” you asked.
“So?” He was bewildered by how you just couldn’t seem to understand where he was coming from.
“Status doesn’t mean anything.”
“Status is everything.” Furlan had to refrain from rolling his eyes. Were you really that naive?
You shook your head, a mischievous smile making its way onto your face. “Not when it comes to pleasure.”
He felt the warmth on the back of his neck spread to his face. He ignored it and fought the urge to tear his eyes away from yours, still set on not giving you a reaction. Though he didn’t know what to say. He had no witty comeback, no genuine reply, all that he could come up with was, “You don’t think so?”
“No.” Contrary to what he believed, you could see things from his point of view. It was he who didn’t understand that his worries were pointless. “Status is taken into consideration when it comes to respect and business but not when it comes to feeling good.”
Being in the underground surrounded by only criminals and poor people, you understood why he thought the rich being with the poor was so taboo. But you had seen it all the time in the interior. The rich would use their status to impress and the poor would bite the bait hoping to higher their position in the patriarchy.
What you failed to understand was why the rich craved the poor, considering the only ones that could gain anything in the relationship were the poor. You realized the answer when you met Furlan. Attraction is attraction and the amount of money he had wasn’t gonna influence the fact that you wanted him so fucking bad. “You just find someone you like and then you fuck, regardless of status.”
He subconsciously moved his arm out of your way when you leaned in close. Settling his arm across the back of the couch, your face was now inches away from his. “Do you wanna fuck me, Furlan?”
He finally broke your shared gaze and tried to remind himself, Levi and Isabel could return at any moment. “Doesn’t matter what I want.”
You cupped the sides of his face, turning his head back towards you. Forcing his eyes to meet yours once again. “Yes, it does.”
“If anything happened between us those pigs above ground would probably give me a death sentence.” His resolve was slowly breaking. Fuck, what would Levi think if he saw this?
“That’s the special thing about secrecy. No one has to know. I don’t know about you but I know I don’t kiss and tell.” You reached across his lap to grab his hand. Furlan couldn’t bring himself to pull away as you brought his hand up to your mouth, wrapping your lips around two of his fingers. Working your tongue around his digits, gently sucking them. His blood shot straight down to his cock. Pulling his fingers out of your mouth, you whispered, “See? It can be our little secret.”
“Jesus.” What was he getting himself into?
“Be honest with me this time,” Your voice was seductive and pleading. His erection was straining against his pants. Fuck it, maybe you were right. “Do you wanna fuck me?”
“Yeah,” his voice cracked as he finally gave in.
Your facade fell apart. Sweet, caring expression melting into one of lust and desire. “Good. I wanna fuck you too.”
Your hands hastily undo his belt and tug at his pants. Furlan’s doubts started to creep back in as he watched his cock spring free of his boxers and slap against his clothed stomach. “Y/N-“
“Shhh… our little secret, remember?” Your face hovered over his lap, saliva oozing from your mouth and onto the tip of his cock slowly dripping down the shaft. Picking your head up, you observed the tiny pleasureful details on his face. Like the way his lips parted when you grasped his cock in your hand. Or how his body relaxed as you started stroking him. “Doesn’t that feel good?”
His pupils dilated as he moaned out, “Fuck, yeah.”
“Have you ever pleasured a woman before?” You laid your head on his shoulder, continuing to rub up and down his cock. His hips stuttered and you could tell he was holding himself back from thrusting into your hand. You figured he was either a virgin or just trying to be polite. You chose not to tell him that it was okay if he wanted to fuck your fist, enjoying the control you had over him.
“If not I could show you,” you purred, speeding up your movements. His chest heaved as he cursed through shattered breaths. He threw his head back and you took the opportunity to suck on his neck. Arousal pooled in your stomach, feeling his throat vibrate against your mouth as he whimpered.
Satisfied with the hickey you left for everyone to see, you placed a quick kiss on the mark. Looking down at his lap you noticed his leg start to jerk. “You’re close aren’t you?” He panted, too focused on the pleasure building in his gut to answer you. You squeezed his cock drawing his attention back to you. “Can I swallow it?”
“Be my guest,” he choked out. You ducked your head down, pressing a kiss to the tip before taking it in your mouth. Furlan’s polite personality broke down just as his resolve had once he felt your warm mouth around his cock. “Oh, fuck!” Much to your surprise, you felt his hand on the back of your head pushing you further down his cock as his hips jutted into your mouth.
Shocked, you hummed around him, sending vibrations to his core. “Oh my god.” You blinked back tears as you gagged around him, letting him fuck your face in pursuit of his orgasm. The pleasure he felt his lower stomach snapped, flooding your mouth with his salty cum. “Shit!”
Coming down from his high, he let go of your head. You pushed yourself off his lap and sent him a soft smile as you swallowed down his seed. “You taste really good.”
Letting him catch his breath, you tucked his cock back into his boxers. You zipped up his pants and buckled his belt while he collected his thoughts. He considered apologizing for losing control but it didn’t seem like you minded all that much.
But what would happen now? He still didn’t know what your intentions were and if you really did like him. It wasn’t like you two could continue a relationship once you were back above ground. Letting the logical part of his brain take over, he said, “That shouldn’t have happened.”
“Probably not,” you agreed.
“But now I’m going to go upstairs and play with myself with the same hands that just pleasured you. I’ll probably moan your name while I think about your pretty cock inside me. You’re welcome to stay here and ignore it.”
He felt his cock begin to harden again at your words. You weren’t even giving him a moment to rebuild his resolve before polluting his mind with dirty fantasies of you. “But if you decide you want to join me,” grabbing the same hand that you had coated in your saliva and pushing your panties aside, you ran his fingers along your pussy. His body was flushed at the feel of your soft heat, “then this is what you have to look forward to.”
You leaned into him, lips brushing against his. But just as he went to kiss you, you pulled away. For a moment he thought that he’d done something wrong until he saw that devious smile creep onto your face. You took his bottom lip between your teeth and gently tugged.
He watched you get up from the couch and retreat upstairs. He knew he shouldn’t follow you, you’d already wasted enough time. What if Levi and Isabel came home? Looking down at his hand covered in your slick, he knew his attempt to rationalize was hopeless. He’d already made up his mind.
Meanwhile upstairs, your clothes were strewn across the floor. Fingers toying with your clit as you imagined him desperately fucking into you. “Fuck, Furlan.” Hearing the floorboards creak, you opened your eyes to see Furlan standing in the doorway to your room. “That took longer than I expected,”
You spread your legs, giving him a view of your pretty pussy as you coaxed him in with intoxicating words, “C’mon, be rough and use me for your own pleasure or be loving and tender. I’ll take whatever you have to give me.”
Pairing: slight furlan x f!reader, levi x f!reader
WC: 6.7k
CW: sooo much angst, mentions of death, injury, grieving, swearing, suggestive at the end (lmk if I missed anything (: )
AN: whoever requested this, first off, I love you so much!! I didn't know how much I needed this. Second I'm soo sorry it took me forever- writer's block is ass
This couldn’t be happening. It had been some kind of dream. No, dreams are sweet. They’re where wishes can come to life. They were nothing like this. No, this was a nightmare. Faces you’ve come to know passed you with usual post-expedition gloominess. Every face but two that you longed to see the most. The two that managed to brighten your day more than the sun ever could. Where? Where were-?
**
“Aren’t kisses supposed to be special?” you asked in a hushed voice, butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the thought. That’s what the stories you always read told you. Kisses were supposed to be these magical moments shared with someone special. Right?
“I mean, of course,” Furlan spoke with a hint of a teasing smirk playing on his lips. “They can be sure.”
You hummed in response, only really half-listening as your mind wandered elsewhere. Was a kiss really something that needs to be held onto with an iron grip? Sure, it can make it feel more special, but-.
Furlan leaned closer to you and whispered in your ear, derailing your train of thought. “Got someone special you’re thinking of saving those kisses for?”
“What?” you squealed in surprise, whipping your head towards him. You winced in pain as your forehead knocked against his with a dull thud. “Ah, n-no,” you stuttered out while holding your forehead.
You were the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, well, aside from Isabel, but she felt too much like a sister to tease like this. Whenever he’d think you couldn’t get any prettier, moments like this would prove him wrong. He thought the sun was the only thing he’d missed out on when he lived underground, but here you were, a beacon of warmth and light even at night.
Furlan smiled to himself as he noticed you didn’t make any move to put space between the both of you. “Relax, I was joking- mostly anyways,” he whispered the last part. His words mingled with the quietness of the room until he wasn’t even sure himself if they had left his lips or if they remained tucked away in his head. “But now I’m kind of curious.”
Panic was rising in your chest under his gaze. He doesn’t have to know the truth, right? He’s sweet and all, but what difference did one small lie make? “I, well,” you sighed in defeat before squeezing your eyes shut, leaning in, prepared to shut him up with a kiss despite the thundering heartbeat in your ears.
Furlan’s eyes went wide as you leaned closer with slightly puckered lips. “Y/n, wait,” he stuttered, gently pushing you away by your shoulders. He raked his brain as he tried to determine if the warmth in his cheeks was him still adjusting to the above world or if it was your doing. “You don’t have to give up any of your kisses if you don’t want to. It’s cute to save them. And I,” he subconsciously tightened his grip on your shoulder a little as the heat on his cheeks became almost unbearable. It was never this hard to talk to Levi or even Isabel. “I’m sure whoever you kiss, whether it’s your first or hundredth, will feel special, yeah?”
You squeezed your eyes tighter for a moment as you tried your hardest to ignore the growing embarrassment bubbling inside you. “Furlan,” you managed to whisper after collecting yourself a little. “Can you?” You opened your eyes, greeted by Furlan’s warm, slightly concerned gaze. “I don’t want to hold onto a kiss and then maybe, well, y’know-.” You shifted awkwardly, eyes flitting down to the ground. “I don’t want to go on one of these missions and die without ever being kissed.”
“I doubt that’ll happen. You and Levi are incredible with your gears.” He trailed off in thought, his eyes falling to your lips. “But, if you’re sure.”
You pursed your lips in thought before nodding. Who else was going to do it? Wait, no, that came off wrong. It’s more like, who else is trustworthy enough, made you feel comfortable enough to give away your kisses?
**
Furlan. Where was Furlan? And Isabel? And Levi? Your eyes frantically scanned the crowd, your heart sinking every second. They promised they’d be back. They swore it! So maybe they were just at the back of the group. They have to be. Right?
**
“Aren’t you gonna do your little good luck kisses, or whatever you call it?” Isabel asked with a teasing smirk before shoveling another spoonful of food into her mouth.
You sputtered as your soup went down the wrong windpipe. “W-what?” you coughed out. You blinked back the tears and mumbled a quiet thanks as you took the cup of water Levi held out to you.
“It’s weird and a little gross,” she continued, her voice muffled by the food she pushed into her cheek to speak. “But,” you watched her chew a few times before swallowing, “it’s cute.”
“You know about those?” you finally managed to ask after a moment.
“You’re not exactly sneaky about it,” Levi feigned disinterest despite the red tinting the tip of his ears.
“And Furlan here might’ve let it slip that you were his first.”
You ignored Levi’s bored eye roll and looked at Furlan across from you, “I was?” You had been giving each other kisses every day for over a month, yet you never thought to ask. With every “in case the walls cave in” or “good luck keeping Levi and Flagon from being at each other’s throats,” it was hard to think of a time when neither of you had been kissed.
“So, is he a good kisser?”
“Isabel,” Levi said warningly, his fingers curling tighter around his spoon. He didn’t want to sit here and listen to this right now. But at the same time, what had Furlan even said to get you to kiss him? Did he just ask? Or maybe you asked him. Was it because you liked each other?
“Better yet, do you two like each other?” Isabel plucked the thought from Levi’s mind, bolder than him to ask such a thing.
Furlan noticed Levi freeze like a child caught in an act before quickly shaking his head.
“We’re friends, that’s all,” you both blurted out simultaneously.
“He’s just one of the only people I thought would be okay with the idea, that’s all,” you muttered as you poked at your bread. You quickly glanced at Levi, your eyes meeting his unexpectedly before you looked back down at your plate in a panic.
**
Your fingers rose to your lips, ghosting over the slightly chapped skin. He– no, they were coming back. They’d be here. Furlan, Isabel, and Levi. You replayed the list in your head as you could see the last of the scouts returning. Furlan, Isabel, and Levi. The voice in your head grew louder with panic. Furlan, Isabel, and-.
“Levi!” You rushed to his side, “thank the walls!” You flung your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder. Relief washed over you as the earthy smell of his cloak filled your senses. You didn’t care that he didn’t hug you back. He was never one for public affection, but he let you hold him. Holding him in your arms for a second felt like a lifetime. And for a moment, all your worries melted away.
When it took longer than usual to hear Furlan’s and Isabel’s excited voices call out to you, you reluctantly pulled away, looking over his shoulder for the other two faces that always made you feel at home. But instead of relieved smiles, all that met you was a bleak and empty landscape.
“Where are-?” The shattering feeling in your chest stopped your words short as you looked into his obsidian eyes. They were colder than a shelterless stormy winter night, filled with a look you’ve become familiar with on the faces of others. “Levi,” you breathed out brokenly. You blinked back the tears and bit the inside of your cheek until the taste of copper touched your tongue. “How are you?” It was a dumb question, but it was all you could think of.
Levi watched you reach out for his cheek with a blank stare as he fought to suppress the hollow feeling in his chest. Your touch was a welcoming warmth after everything, almost too welcoming. Did he deserve to be the one coming back? The one embracing your warmth? “I-.” His eyebrows knitted together as you licked your thumb and tried your best to wipe the dried blood off his cheek.
“How bout we get you clean and into some fresh clothes? I snuck your clothes into the wash earlier so you’d come back to clean clothes.” You didn’t want him to talk about it if he didn’t want to. Or maybe you couldn’t hear him talk right now. “I’ll even make you tea while you shower, and we can hang in my room after.” You gave your best attempt to smile encouragingly, but it was more like desperately fighting back your tears. “I promise it’s clean this time.”
Levi chuckled dryly as he took your hand from his cheek in his. “Let the tea actually steep this time. No one wants to drink piss water.” He wasn’t sure whether his hand was trembling from earlier or if it was from touching you. The fluttering in his stomach betrayed the ache in his chest as you gave him a more convincing smile.
The kettle shook in your hand as you held it over the cup. This was a dream, right? Some terrible nightmare that you’d wake up from any second now. They’d walk through the door, broad smiles painting their faces like always. You’d all joke and laugh as you’d fail to make Levi give anything more than a shy smirk. You’d be together.
Levi crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, “Think you have enough water there?” The chuckle that tumbled from his lips as he watched you jump like a scared cat quickly died out when the steaming hot water hit your hand. He rushed to your side, guiding you to the sink as you hissed a string of swears in pain, cupping your hand gently, holding it beneath the stream of water.
“I thought you were showering,” you tried to make conversation, the few seconds of silence feeling suffocating. You glanced at Levi from the corner of your eye. He had lost the cape and harness but was still in his uniform. You ran your free hand through his dry hair as you desperately searched for his usual comforting, soapy lilac and powdery iris smell you’ve found yourself constantly longing for.
“I, um, well, I didn’t,” Levi trailed off, feeling the tips of his ears grow uncomfortably warm.
“Wow, Levi didn’t bathe,” you teased as you ignored the pain in your hand the best you could. “Kinda gross.”
Levi looked up at you with his lips parted as if he were going to say something before closing it again. But, instead, his eyes quickly fell back to your hand. I don’t think I can be alone right now, but being with you feels just as difficult.
You chewed the inside of your cheek, your mind racing uncontrollably without noise to stop it. You watched Levi wrap your hand with a clean towel, eyes focused on his long, slender fingers at work as you concentrated on everything and nothing.
“You know, um, you don’t have to hold it together for my sake,” Levi spoke up as he tied the cloth into a knot. “They were your friends too. Maybe even more yours than mine.”
You opened your mouth to protest, to tell him it wasn’t for his sake. Scouts died every day, and all you could do to honor them was continue to dedicate your heart to the cause. But, unfortunately, that’s just how life went. There were no times for pity parties when you had the fate of humanity resting on your shoulders. But all those thoughts came to a screeching halt underneath his heartbroken and guilt-ridden gaze.
And just like that, you could feel your walls tumbling like houses beneath the titans’ feet. The dull aching in your chest that you kept at bay until now was practically suffocating. They’re not coming back. All three of them went out, and there was nothing you could do to help them. The ache in your chest was unbearable, spreading like venom in your veins until even your throat felt like it’d collapse. The world around you looked twisted and grew bleary. You shook your head in denial as you crumbled to the ground, the first warm streams of tears trickling down your chin uncontrollably.
Levi sat down beside you and hesitantly took your hand in his. Even your hands were trembling from how hard your sobs shook you. It all felt so familiar as he watched you curl in on yourself, possibly trying to make yourself as small as you felt. He wanted to apologize and tell you that he should’ve done more. He hated watching you like this; hated knowing he had a part in it- even if death in this world was a sad inevitability. Watching you made breathing hard as if someone had knocked all the air out of his lungs. The harder he tried to breathe calmly, the more he couldn’t.
Levi steeled himself the best he could before gently pulling you into his arms. He wanted to be strong for you, figured it was the least he could do. So Levi would ignore the piercing in his, his struggling lungs, how his stomach knotted, and the uncontrollable shaking. Instead, he’d promise to himself to just be there for you. Yet, his hammering heart– as misplaced as it felt with your body shaking in his arms– seemed to be the one thing he couldn’t entirely ignore.
How many times did Furlan get to relish in this warmth? And how the hell did he manage to stay so calm?
Levi pushed aside those thoughts as he cradled your head close to his chest until your shaking subsided. His subconscious humming of a melody he hadn’t heard since his childhood quietly filled the room until your breathing became even once more.
“Levi,” your voice failed you, his name falling from your lips in a hoarse, broken whisper. “C-can you stay in my room tonight? That, um, that sounds weird. It’s just I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“Me either,” Levi mumbled as he leaned his cheek against your head. “And we can forget about the tea. I don’t need you burning yourself again.”
You let out a weak chuckle as you rose to your feet with Levi’s help, “s’probably for the best.” You hugged yourself and watched as he cleaned the mess up for you. “And you should, er, we should shower before we get some sleep.” The statement sounded more like a hesitant question through your still wavering voice, but Levi nodded in agreement before taking your hand in his.
The halls were quiet as you and Levi walked through them hand in hand, everyone either sleeping or doing their own forms of mourning. Even with him by your side, the walk felt lonely, the halls full of empty presences, full of faces that would turn into just a memory. Levi tightened his grip on your hand as you stepped through the door to the bathroom, reminding you that despite all those feelings, you weren’t alone.
“So, how do you wanna do this?” you sheepishly asked as you glanced down at your fingers laced with his.
Levi's eyes widened for a second as if he had just realized he was still holding your hand. “Sorry,” he mumbled as he dropped your hand like it was scalding to the touch, his eyes averting to the cobblestone floor. “It feels inappropriate to ask, but can we shower together?”
I want to know I can at least protect you, but right now, it feels more like you’re the one protecting me.
“I-it’s comforting being around you,” his thoughts spilled out in a panic as you walked away from him. “Don’t-” he squeezed his eyes shut, only to be greeted by faces he’d rather forget right now.
In a panic, he opened his eyes again, desperately looking for you for comfort, “please don’t let me be alone right now.”
You rushed to Levi with two towels tucked under your arm and his soap in hand. “Hey, hey, hey,” you cooed as you set the things down. “Lee,” you continued, cupping his cheek in your hand, “I wasn’t going to leave.” You chewed your lip as you pushed a few loose strands out of his face, waiting for his ragged breathing to calm down. “I’m here. I promise I’m not leaving you. I was just getting towels.”
Levi searched your eyes for a long moment before he could finally find himself beginning to relax. “Sorry,” he embarrassedly mumbled, feeling a lump well up in his throat.
“It’s okay, really,” you reassured him before you began to undress, taking off everything except your bra and panties with Levi following suit. “You don’t have to be sorry for not wanting to be alone.” You nudged his shoulder playfully as you reached behind him to turn on the shower, “besides, I already told you I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”
Levi nodded as he reached behind you for the soap, his chest pressing against yours momentarily, making heat rush to the tips of his ears.
When he stood up straight again, you both couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering down each other’s bodies. As his eyes roamed across every dip and curve of your body, you took time to appreciate the toned, muscular frame his clothes hid so well. Had the circumstances been any different, maybe you would’ve complimented him on it. Or perhaps he would’ve mustered the courage to tell you how beautiful he thought you were. But instead, you both came to silent realizations as your gazes met under the water. A deep longing now accompanied the heartbreak and bits of guilt in your eyes. Something that had probably been buried far longer than either of you realized and decided to show itself at the worst possible time.
“You look-.” You smiled sadly, cupping his cheek with your wet hand as you went to work, rubbing away the dust and speckles of blood that clung to his face. “You look tired, lee. When’s the last time you slept?”
Any words Levi had were stuck in his chest, blockaded by the unbearable ache that almost seemed to make time cease to exist. Even your words were drowned out, muddled until all he could hear was the faint sound of your voice. He felt as if he were underground again. As if all he could do was beg to be a part of the light. Why did I trust them?
“Lee,” you hummed as you washed his hair, pushing the raven locks away from his face. “Levi. Hey, you listening? It wasn’t your fault.”
With a slight cough, you pushed through your wavering. “They didn’t deserve it- no one does. But you didn’t-.”
“I did.” Levi’s brows furrowed together as he gritted his teeth. Why are you being so nice? I don’t deserve it. “I dragged them along. I left them to go-.” He stopped himself before the secret the trio fought to keep slipped from his lips. “I wasn’t there for them like I should’ve been.” His trembling hands ghosted over your waist, desperately searching for a way to ground himself. “I failed them. I failed you.”
Your eyes widened in surprise, hands falling slack in his soapy hair. “You can’t-.” You bit your tongue, stopping yourself from finishing your thought. He did believe that with his entire being. Instead of grieving, he was convinced he’d done something wrong and failed. With a heavy sigh, you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face into his shoulder, your fingertips ghosting over the hair at his nape. “You didn’t fail anyone.” You could feel the erratic beating of his heart practically pounding out of his chest and his breath growing labored. “Not Furlan. Not Isabel. And definitely not me.”
Levi’s hands tightened around your waist as breathing became an almost impossible task. His chest rapidly rose and fell, air escaping his lungs as if he were drowning in a panic. “You don’t have to try to make me feel better.” He nuzzled his face into your hair as the first tears rolled down his cheek. “You’re a shit liar anyways,” he joked, trying to hide his sniffling.
“M’not!” You gently push Levi away in frustration, giving you just enough room to look at him in his tear-filled eyes. “You ass, you could never fail me. Yeah, I miss them. And it’s gonna hurt like hell every day that I don’t see them.” Your eyes fell to his collarbone as you felt your eyes begin to fill with tears again. “Sure, dinners will suck a little more now and be a little quieter.”
You tensed your jaw and forced yourself to look him in the eyes again. “But you came back. You’re here with me.” You shook your head with a sniffle, “I can’t imagine my life without all of you. Especially without you. I mean, who else would tell me when my tea tastes like piss?” You wiped your eyes despite the tears showing no sign of stopping or slowing. “Or show me how to not use my gears like a drunk baby? Who would liven up this dull place by picking fights with our shithead captains?”
Levi chuckled dryly and pushed your hand aside, his tears calming enough so he could get a better look at you. “Or tell you when you talk too much?” He clumsily wiped your eyes with the palms of his hand, “Thanks, though.”
He didn’t believe that he wasn’t a failure, even as you looked up at him like he was the only thing that mattered in the world. And maybe he wouldn’t believe it for a while. But it was reassuring to know at least someone thought that. It was nice knowing not everything was lost.
His hands fell to your cheeks, holding them as if you were made of glass. “Thanks for reminding me that I at least I still have one annoying shit around.”
You rolled your eyes as you cupped his hands. “You ass.” His touch was a welcoming warmth compared to the cooling water. “You’re stuck with me now,” you teased, shooting him a hopeful smile. Levi’s puffy eyes softened as you reached out and began to gently scratch his scalp, massaging the soap into his hair. “I’ve got no choice but to save the other scouts the trouble and deal with ya.”
A solemn yet comfortable air accompanied the rest of the time spent in the shower. Despite every wave of despair that came crashing down, reminding you both of the new reality, everything felt like it would be okay. Every time you helped each other wash away a sliver of grief, an unspoken promise was made: you only had each other now, and you’d do whatever it took to keep each other safe. Friends and comrades could come and go, but as long as you had each other, fresh air, and the sun to greet you every day, everything would somehow be okay. You’d help each other get through this and whatever else this shithole of a world threw at you. You’d follow each other to the end of the world if it came with the promise of never being alone again.
The halls were as quiet as before as you and Levi padded through them with nothing but your towels. And yet, they didn’t feel as lonely. Levi’s tight grip on your hand and how his shoulder brushed against yours as he shielded you from unwanted eyes brought you comfort.
“Um, your clothes are on the nightstand,” you gestured across the small room. You rounded on your heels, eager to replace your towel with more comfortable clothes. Instead, Levi quickly pulled you back to him, huffing as he helped you regain your balance.
“Are you going to be okay?” With a ghosting touch on your fingers, Levi raised your injured hand to inspect the clearly irritated skin. His brows furrowed together as worry etched itself across his features. Even if you continued to deny that he failed today, you couldn’t deny he caused your injury. And while caring for it wouldn’t solve much, it’d at least help remind him he can help those he cares for.
“Where was this concern when I was washing your hair?” you teased as you glanced at your hand for the first time since Levi wrapped it. Levi’s frown deepened despite the blush painting his ears, making you roll your eyes. “I’m sure I’ll be fine putting on clothes, Levi. And if it makes you feel better, you can help me wrap it again after, okay?” You squeezed his hand reassuringly before he finally let you go.
“After I clean it, you shit,” Levi grumbled as he turned around and crossed the room.
“It’s technically already been cleaned, you ass.”
His clothes were neatly folded on your nightstand as if that were their natural place. As if it were just any other day. Maybe the fluttering in his heart would be better placed if that were the case. But it wasn’t, and perhaps it never will be.
With a heavy sigh, Levi lifted his underwear and pajama pants, rubbing the soft fabric between his fingers for a moment before pulling them on. A light blue vest on your nightstand caught his eye as he slipped his shirt over his head. It was folded neatly; the creases rubbed out of it. It didn’t take long to realize who’s vest it was. Nor did it take long for Levi to admit that the vest looked more natural here than his clothes had– at least that’s what he told himself.
How many times had he been here? Had you two showered together, too? How many times have you two kissed here? Levi could feel his cheeks heat up despite his blood going cold at the thought. Maybe I shouldn’t be here. Maybe they really were more than friends who kissed.
“You can have that if you want,” you spoke up once you noticed what held Levi’s attention. “It was just part of our routine, y’know? Kinda our way of encouraging the other to come back- it’s silly.”
“Did he ever stay over?” The words came out before he could stop himself or even think of why he cared to ask. “You two seemed close.”
“Walls, no!” You walked over to your nightstand, joining Levi’s side. “We’d talk until we got tired, but he never stayed over. I don’t even know if the thought occurred to either of us.” You trailed off, getting lost in the memories, a slight pang in your heart.
The flush on Levi’s cheeks was undeniable as he thought about what you said. You had kissed Furlan countless times, yet here he was, being invited to spend the night with you. But then again, you both had just lost friends. So maybe you really were only asking in search of comfort.
“You should get some sleep.”
“You’re not sleeping?” You glanced over curiously at him before it hit you. The fear peeking out from beneath his lackluster eyes told you what his mouth wouldn’t.
He could still see them whenever he closed his eyes for too long. Their faces or whatever was left were still freshly ingrained in his mind. And the only comfort that sleep could bring were dreams of them alive, which would only be crushed under the weight of reality when morning came. The cycle would continue no matter what may be said to help cope with the loss. Their faces and memories would reappear everywhere until one day seeing and remembering didn’t bring a crippling sense of dread and heartache.
It didn’t matter what fears you faced earlier while you two showered; sleep brought a new wave of fear, guilt, and sorrow. Going to sleep meant welcoming a new day without Isabel or Furlan.
You bit your lip and nodded. “Then neither am I.” You hesitantly took his hand in yours and urged him toward the bed. “You’ll help wrap my hand again, and we’ll both just stay up all night talking.”
Levi sat at the foot of your bed with pink cheeks and an unamused expression, “that’s a stupid idea.”
You climbed into bed and raised an eyebrow at him. “What else would we do, stare at each other?” Or kiss- no, this wasn’t the time to have those thoughts. You held out your hand and clean bandages to him as you waited for his response.
“Or sleep.” Levi focused his eyes on your hand, balancing being gentle and keeping the wrap taut enough to secure it through the night. You had grieved and showered together, even changed in the same room. So why was now so awkward? His eyes flicked up to your lips, the slight pout as you zoned out, making it nearly impossible to look anywhere but.
What had Furlan said to get you to kiss him?
“Nope. If you’re not gonna sleep, neither will I.” I’m not leaving you alone. Even if you act fine now, I can’t forget earlier. I won’t forget earlier.
“And if I didn’t eat? Or told you my plan to kill Erwin?”
“I’d try my best to force you to, even if it meant holding your nose.” You tucked your knees beneath yourself and lowered your voice to a whisper. “And I’d tell you to let me butter him up first for you.”
Levi looked at you in astonishment, unsure whether you were serious or just teasing him. “Go to sleep,” he grumbled when he couldn’t tell.
You took his hand in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Not until you at least lay down. Please, Levi.” You chewed your lip as you reached out and cupped his cheek with your bandaged hand. “You need rest.” Your thumb ghosted over the dark circles beneath his eyes, “but if you’re not gonna get some rest, can you just lay with me?”
Levi pressed his cheek further into your palm for a long moment before nodding, making you let go of a tense breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. He fought off a smirk as you eagerly guided him further onto your bed and buried yourself under the covers. Levi followed your lead and climbed beneath the blankets, laying far enough away that a pillow could fit between you. His eyes nervously flitted down from your face to his fingers intertwined with yours.
Without hesitation, you moved your head back until it was on the edge of the pillow, “there’s enough room for both of us if you wanna.” To your surprise, he almost immediately took you up on your offer like a timid child. “Good night Levi.”
“Night.”
“Oh, and Levi,” you waited for his hum before you continued. “It’s comforting being around you too. I like being around you. And I meant everything I said earlier.”
Levi didn’t remember falling asleep or what dreams he had- honestly there might’ve been none. And while he felt bad that two of his closest friends weren’t in his thoughts as he slept, he couldn’t deny that sleeping next to you brought him a level of comfort he hadn’t felt since his childhood.
Even the days after, as he woke up in cold sweats or with tears streaming down his face, you were there, giving him any piece of peace you could. When you’d find yourself going to sleep with tear-streaked cheeks or waking up with puffy eyes, he was there with a melody and a cup of tea to comfort you. You began to seek each other out, taking turns climbing out of bed in the late night and early morning hours to find the other. And each time you woke up, you seemed to be closer. Limbs entangle—your head on his chest, or Levi’s favorite, nose to nose.
You had become practically attached at the hips. You encouraged each other to push harder during the day and provided much-needed comfort to the other at night. Every moment for the next few months was spent together until you felt as if it were only you and Levi in the world. You both made true to your silent promises made that bittersweet night.
Levi would come to learn the way you’d grow a little quieter despite your wider smile whenever you’d think of Furlan or Isabel. He’d ‘accidentally’ leave his soap out for you when he noticed you breathe a little deeper with him around.
You managed to see his bashful smirk more and enjoy a quiet tune he’d subconsciously hum as he held you to his chest. You’d come to find an almost surefire way to get him to go to sleep whenever you scratched his scalp or back. And no matter how soundly he’d be sleeping, you’d learn he never really stays asleep. He’d try to hide his twitching or pray his whimpers wouldn’t wake you, but they always did. And you always let him snuggle closer to you until you drifted back to sleep.
“Y/n,” Levi whispered, hoping you were still sleeping. His heartbeat was deafening in his ears as he waited for a response or for your breathing to change. When a few moments passed without either happening, he ghosted his thumb over your bottom lip and mumbled, “I really want to kiss you.”
You leaned forward, ignoring the burning in your cheeks as you brushed your nose against his. “You’re welcome to.”
Levi’s breath hitched in his throat as his eyebrows knitted together. “H-how long have you been up?”
You shrugged with your eyes still closed, “not long, I think. I dunno; I was trying to let your little snores help me fall asleep again.” You rubbed your eyes as you opened them. “But I guess it’s another sleepless night for ya,” you teased with a worried smile.
“It’s hard sleeping next to you.”
“I’ve never heard any complaints before,” you teased. “But I can leave if you want.”
“Fucking pain, you’re worse than the one shit that refuses to come out,” Levi grumbled. “Just see if I let you go anywhere, mon coeur.”
Neither of you remembered when Levi’s nickname for you changed from ‘shit’ to ‘mon coeur.’ It just happened one day, as if the phrase slipped from his lips. And the more he’d see you light up at the name despite not knowing its meaning, the more he’d become determined to use it.
“Wow, so he’s even scarier when he has a crush, huh? Who woulda thought.”
“I don’t have- I’m not- damn it. Just go to sleep before I knock you out, I like you better quiet.”
You jutted your bottom lip into an exaggerated pout, “can’t sleep without a goodnight kiss. I mean, you’re the one who gave me the idea.”
“But,” Levi dragged his gaze up from your lip disappointedly. “What was going on with you and Furlan?”
Even now, your heart squeezed at the mention of his name. “You didn’t know? We were secretly married the whole time, and I have three of his kids living in my room.” The deadpanned expression on Levi’s face made it hard not to chuckle to yourself. “I’ve told you already. We were only friends, okay?”
“Who kissed.”
“Because he was one of the only people I thought would be okay with the idea. You’re always acting like Mr. gumps, so I thought you’d be against it.” It didn’t go unnoticed how Levi’s eyes widened for a moment at your confession. “But fine,” you caught his chin between your forefinger and thumb. “Maybe I should’ve asked you so that you could’ve given me the same look you’re giving me now.”
Levi rolled his eyes with a deep sigh, “titans are easier to deal with than you.”
“Pretty sure I kiss better, though.”
“Wouldn’t know; I’ve never had any.” Levi had never been more thankful that the moon provided the only light in his room as the heat rose to his cheeks.
You ignored the fluttering in your stomach, suddenly eager to be closer to Levi. You couldn’t help but think of your first kiss, and all the thoughts once held concerning it. What if he was saving his kiss for someone special? “I can, well-,” you licked your lips nervously, “ I can change that.”
“Almost like that’s why I brought it up.”
You rolled your eyes with a soft giggle, hooking your leg over his hips. “Smart ass.” Levi encouraged you with a hand on the small of your back despite his trembling hand, pulling you flush against him. You leaned forward, guiding him toward you by his chin.
Levi crashed his lips against yours impatiently, his hand on your back balling into a fist as he tried to pull you impossibly closer. The kiss was clumsy and full of hunger. Yet, what Levi lacked in experience, he made up for in his eagerness. His lips moved against yours like a starved man determined to enjoy everything you offered to him. It was nothing like your kisses with Furlan, and part of you couldn’t help but think that was his goal.
“You’re a better kisser,” you uttered before going in for another kiss.
Levi eagerly chased your lips, “and you’re a shit liar… but maybe one day.”
“Guess we’ll have to put you through training-.”
“Please go to sleep.” Levi cupped his hand over your lips with a sheepish expression, “That’s enough for tonight.” He awkwardly shifted his hips away from yours as his hand slid up between your shoulder blades. Between the butterflies fluttering in his stomach and the sudden unfamiliar tightening of his pants, he was sure his body would give out on him at any second now. It was like an uncomfortable, overwhelming sickness that made him feel uneasy and strangely at peace. “You need your rest.”
“Right, I need rest,” you hummed unconvinced. Before giving Levi one last peck, you pried his hand away with surprising ease. “Night, Levi.” Sensing his sudden reservedness, you moved to take your leg off his hip only to be stopped by his hand hooking under your knee. A comfortable silence settled over the both of you as you basked in each other’s soothing warmth. You ran your fingers through his hair, gently scratching his scalp every time your fingers met his roots. “Also, uh, well- this isn’t like a, y’know.” You shrugged as you embarrassedly avoided meeting his gaze. “I don’t want it to be just a friend thing.”
Levi let out a heavy sigh as he pulled you closer by your leg, keeping just enough space between you to keep the increasing tightness in his pants a secret. “Sleep already.” He let the quiet settle over the both of you once more like a blanket as he rubbed circles into your thigh with his thumb. Your soft, restful snores echoed through the room after a few minutes. Levi leaned forward with a small smile, resting the curve of his nose against your forehead. “I’m glad you feel the same, though, mon coeur,” he thought aloud.
I know I don’t deserve this chance to be with her. You’d be better for her. But I can’t stop my heart from racing or the smiles that fight so hard to make their way onto my lips when I’m around her. So I’ll take care of her for you from now on, Furlan, I give my word. I’ll be by her side protecting and supporting her until my last breath. “You make me feel so special, and I know I don’t deserve it. But I want to make you feel the same. I’m yours until the end of time and probably long after that.”
CW/Rating: 18+ for adult themes and a sexual assault attempt
A/N: This is my Furlan x Reader one-shot for the November collab hosted by @anlian-aishang. I am so so sorry at how late this is :( I blinked and it's five months later and we're in April. Even still, I had a ton of fun writing out a little fic for Furlan and giving his character a shot. We don't get to see a lot of him in the anime/manga, and I wish we had more time with him. He's a cool character, and it would have been interesting to see what he could have done in canon, how he would have interacted with the other characters.
In any case, I hope I did his character justice, as well as the theme. The theme was super fun and I enjoyed it a lot. As soon as I signed up for the collab, I knew how I wanted to start and end this, so it was a matter of getting it from start to finish hehe :)
Blood is thicker than water.
That was what you’d always been told, at least. Drilled into your head by your parents day in and day out. Only to have them betray you when they kicked you out of their home and onto the streets of the Underground.
Sixteen you’d been that fateful day. And off you’d went on your own adventure. Betrayed by the very same people who had taught you they would be the only ones you could count on.
The irony wasn’t lost on you.
What was a young woman to do to survive on the streets?
So sell yourself you did.
Something else they’d taught against.
But what were you supposed to do? What few jobs there were, the owners claimed you were hardly qualified for.
So you had no other choice.
And that was where you stayed for the next six years, working as a stripper. Though, in the Underground stripper held a whole different meaning. See, at the strip club you worked at, there were certain services clients could pay extra for. Not much extra mind you, seeing as everyone beneath the surface was poor and could hardly afford food. There were the wealthier, but they were only wealthy in comparison. They were still bottom of the food chain…and the worst of the worst in your opinion.
You grew adept at conning the men out of extra coin. Compliment them just so, and they’d throw more tips your way. Men were easy.
Women, on the other hand, were often vile and vicious. At least in your experience. It had been your mother who’d thrown you out. Your best friend who’d betrayed you. The other women in the brothel that employed you. They were vindictive, callous, and cold, trusting no one, man or woman.
Men were simple. They often were led astray by their cocks, thinking with their head between their legs versus their head on their shoulders. They could be swayed with the right tilt of your head, a flirtatious batting of the lashes, a coy curl of the lips. You’d learned all the tricks of the trade and could wind a man around your pinky within minutes.
Until one day, an experience with one befuddled you.
You were strolling through the market, picking through the beaten up produce and stale breads, trying to find food to last for the next few days. Nothing in the Underground was ever fresh, and nothing lasted for long.
As you shopped you flirted with different targets. And if your hand slipped into their pockets to steal their coins and slip them into your own dress pockets, they were none the wiser. Served them right for being so easily distracted.
Coming across one man in particular, you accidentally bumped into him, just like you had with others so many times before. Smiling and batting your lashes, you apologized sweetly while he held you upright as you stumbled. But when your hand moved to sneakily slip into his pocket—the way you’d done with others thousands of times—you were stunned when he grabbed at your wrist.
He lifted a brow in amusement, and something stirred within you at the twinkle in his eyes. They were gray, and suited him surprisingly, warmer than you would expect from someone who lived in this hellhole. Now that you were getting a good look at him, you noticed his blonde hair, and how shiny and clean it looked, as well as the smirk curling his lips.
Without another word, he began to drag you along, and, despite your struggles, you couldn’t free yourself. You grabbed for your pocket knife only to find it gone. Glancing up, you saw him smirking at you over his shoulder, your knife held in his free hand.
Fuck.
He’d snagged your only means of protection, and it wasn’t as if you could scream for help. No one would care, and the Military Police officers were never of any use.
Digging your heels in, you tried to yank your wrist from his iron-tight grip, to no avail. But he tired of pulling you this way, and opted to scoop you up over his shoulder. You were stunned at the display of strength from the taller, lankier man, and you could feel the muscles in his arms against your waist.
“Relax,” he told you. “M’not gonna hurt you.”
Relax? How could you relax when some strange man was carting you away to walls knew where? Goddamn was he all leg or something?
You refused to go down without a fight, and you bit down on his shoulder, taking the chance to race away when he dropped you. Down alleys you went, making quick and random turns. You could hear his footsteps behind you, but you didn’t relent.
Until you reached a dead-end, and realized he’d somehow cornered you. Predator had turned into prey.
Watching him warily, you shrank back against the wall, heart racing in your chest, limbs shaking and aching to flee. This man was of a different breed, and wouldn’t be swayed like the others.
And you realized the direness of the situation, of what was most likely about to happen. Despite the prick of tears in your eyes, you refused to cry, lifting your chin in defiance at him.
“I won’t make this easy for you,” you growled.
He rolled his eyes as he finally stood in front of you, arms crossed in front of his chest. “I told you, I’m not going to hurt you.”
That didn’t make any sense, and you watched him sharply, monitoring his every movement.
“Then what the fuck do you want?” You snapped.
“I was watching you, watching the way you stole those coins from all those men. Color me impressed,” he mused.
“Your point?”
That just made him chuckle. The hostility in your voice didn’t even make him flinch. Who the hell was this man? Did nothing faze him?
“I’m Furlan, Furlan Church.”
Well that answered that.
Before you could respond, he continued, “We have a group. A group of thieves like yourself. There’s an opening, and I’d like to bring you in as a potential candidate.”
A gang? He wanted you to join his gang? You weren’t sure what to make of that. They generally tended to be more on the violent side, but it sure would be a hell of a lot better than having to show off your body for money.
But it almost sounded too good to be true.
“And why do you think I’d be interested in that?”
He shrugged. “With your skill, you’d be beneficial to the group. Plus it can’t hurt to take the opportunity to make some decent cash. More than what you’d make just pick-pocketing other people.”
The clean clothes, the clean hair, hell, even his shoes were somewhat shiny, clueing you in that this man at least made a decent enough living to not have to live in ragged clothes. He was by far one of the cleanest men you’d ever seen in the Underground, so perhaps there was some truth to his words.
Besides, what could it hurt to just check it out? But you’d be on your guard, there was no doubt about that.
So give them a chance you decided to do, giving him a nod in agreement after a long moment. He took you to their base, which was a small, two story house. Up the stairs to the front door you went, following him inside. Straight down the hall you followed him, taking in the living room and kitchen area you passed by.
The house was clean, not a spot of dirt in sight. Impressive in a place as dirty as this shithole. That and the fact that the supplies needed to keep a place tidy could be rather expensive. Maybe this could be your break, a break to a somewhat better life than what you’d been living.
The back room he took you to was a small office, where a smaller man with dark hair sat at a desk counting money. On the couch lay a young girl with bright red hair, an arm tucked beneath her head as she tossed a ball into the air. You didn’t think you’d ever seen hair that vibrant in a place so despicable.
Your arrival drew their attention, and both gazes shot up to where you stood in front of Furlan. The girl’s eyes were friendly but cautious. The man on the other hand, that glare of his had your knees knocking together, and you took a shaky step back only to bump into a solid chest. A gentle hand plopped onto your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
You weren’t sure what it was, but something inside you was telling you to trust the man behind you. Your instincts had never led you astray before, so you chose to listen, letting yourself relax beneath his touch.
“Another stray, Furlan?”
His voice was deeper than you’d expected, silky and smooth despite the monotonous tone.
You listened as he explained to the man—Levi, Furlan called him—what he’d witnessed in the market area, and you noticed the calculating gleam in his eyes. Why did it feel as if he could see straight through you?
When Furlan finished, Levi rose to his feet and stalked over, and you couldn’t help but feel as if he were even more predatorial in the almost feline way he slinked across the floor. His footsteps didn’t even make a sound, and he moved with the grace of a cat and his eyes held the ferocity of the feral ones that frequented the alleys and saw on the streets.
This was not a man to cross or be on his bad side. You frankly weren’t even sure if he had a good side.
When he stood in front of you, you were a little stunned at his stature, at how he was shorter than you. He gave off such a powerfully strong and frightening aura, it seemed as if he were larger.
He gave you a once over that had your heart pounding in your chest before nodding. He said nothing, did nothing else before turning to go back to his desk. That was it? All of that and he simply nodded? A man of few words, you noted.
A squeal came from the girl you’d completely forgotten about, having been distracted by Levi. Despite the caution and wariness in her eyes, she seemed giddy at the possibility of a new addition to their little gang. Before you could even react, she babbled and chattered away, giving Levi all kinds of ideas of tests you could do to earn your place. It didn’t look like he was listening, but something told you he was.
~ - ~
Over the course of the next several weeks, Levi, Furlan, and the girl—Isabel, you’d learned—put you through the wringer. Endless tests assessing your skills. It was strange, going through the motions of taunting and teasing men to distract them and snag their spare coins while being watched, but you managed to go through the paces.
Levi wanted to see how you did in higher risk heists. He had a target in mind, and your role was to keep the owners occupied while he and Furlan picked them dry.
It was like stealing candy from a baby.
Not that you’d ever done that, obviously.
But while you were in a sort of probationary period, you still had to make money, which meant you had to continue on at your job. It also meant you were more exhausted during your shifts, but you managed to make it through them.
The thought of never having to come back here again was enough to keep you going.
And then one fateful night set the rest of your life into motion.
It had been slow, not many patrons, which was common on a weeknight. Weekends were busier, and where you were able to make the most.
Again, it wasn’t a lot. Enough to survive and keep going.
You were in one of the back rooms, giving a private dance to a man. It was a small area, much like the entire building, and consisted of a lounge chair where the man sat, and a small vanity. This room doubled as one of the special rooms, and men often liked to watch the whole ordeal in the mirror.
Your customer decided he wanted more, and he grabbed your hips as you swayed and moved above him, yanking you down onto his lap. You could feel his hard dick beneath you, and you fought against his grasp, revolted at the unwanted touch. He hadn’t paid for this, and you frankly weren’t in the mood.
“Not tonight, sugar,” you said, trying to keep your voice honeyed and even. You didn’t want to risk losing any tip he might be willing to throw your way.
“Come on you little bitch,” he growled, probably thinking he sounded seductive, but he just sounded like an ass, “give me a little treat for free.”
You struggled to break free, but found that his hold was too tight. When he flung you onto the floor, your head collided with the post of the vanity and you cried out in pain as it disoriented you. You begged and pleaded as you fought against him, but the world spun too much, and you were struggling to fight him off.
But he didn’t get far, when he was ripped off of you and thrown against the wall. Through your blurred vision you saw a familiar face topped with blonde hair, and it was livid. Furlan was usually so calm and collected. You’d never seen him like this and it was actually rather frightening. He was actually more menacing than Levi with his icy, glowering glare.
Smashing the man’s head into the wall, he effectively rendered him unconscious. Your heartbeat was erratic when he came over to you, and you were suddenly very aware of your state of undress. You scrambled for something, anything to cover yourself. You grabbed your robe from the chair and shrank back against the wall, cowering at the rage still lingering in his eyes.
Logically, you know it wasn’t directed towards you in any way, but it didn’t make it less terrifying.
But his hand was gentle as it brushed at the bump forming on your head, and it sent something warm flowing through your veins. Something foreign and unfamiliar. You weren’t sure what to make of it. It was something you’d been feeling more and more the longer you were around him.
“Come on,” he murmured, taking your hand in his and tugging you up. “Get dressed. Let’s get you home so you can get cleaned up. You don’t have to work here anymore.”
The thought of never having to work in this shithole again was relieving. Even if it meant stealing and risking your life every single day for the rest of your life, you’d take that over giving your body up to a bunch of greasy, grimy men.
“Why are you even here?” You asked as you tugged on your clothes, appreciating the way he’d turned his back to give you some privacy.
“When you told us where you worked, I started coming here to keep an eye out,” he answered with a shrug. “Good thing.”
The way he’d reverted back to his usual calm demeanor was mind-boggling. How did he do it? The lives they all led down here, how did he stay so composed?
He stayed close to your side as you followed him back to base, never letting you out of his sight. You kept chancing glances his way, and you couldn’t help but admire his profile. His features were so sharp and his hair so mussed and messy. It had you wondering what it would feel like to run your fingers through the strands, wondering if they were as soft as they looked.
From then on, the four of you were inseparable. As time went on, they earned your trust, and you theirs. You’d found a family in them, a home. For once, you’d found people you could count on. People who had your back. A rarity in the Underground. While you and the others in the gang spent your days stealing from the crooked people of the city, you knew you’d found the greatest treasure of all.
Blood is thicker than water.
You’d now found a new meaning to the phrase, perhaps the true one. The ties to family were not always bound by blood, but sometimes, were bound by choice. Those chosen to be family were often held nearer and dearer, whether they be by blood or by happenstance.
You’d found a new family in him, and through him, you’d been blessed with those who truly cared.
And you couldn’t be happier. Nothing could ever ruin that.
This is my fic for the SFW poll, which was part of my 500 Follower Event! This is the first SFW fic I’ll be posting, I have another one coming up, and 2 NSFW fics in the works! But for right now, here is my first ever Furlan fic, and I hope I did him justice. I hope you guys enjoy!
Fandom: Attack on Titan
Pairing: Furlan x Reader
Words: 2.5k
Warnings: Reader comes from a sad life (used to be a prostitute), but no detailed descriptions about that!
You notice him on the second night of the third week. Seated at the kitchen table, with a leather-bound book opened in front of him, with only a single candle keeping the darkness at bay. You watch him from the edge of the doorway, one eye peeking over the sides.
He keeps his eyes fixed on the book, turning the pages every few minutes. A lock of sandy hair falls into his face, and he brushes it away with a grunt. All the while, his eyes never leave the book.
You know him. You're not strangers—far from it, in fact. But you’re still not used to sharing the same living space with him. Or his comrades.
It's been roughly two weeks since you’ve come to live with them. You've known them all for a few years now, ever since that day in the brothel. A pair of men had approached the door, the shorter one carrying a bundle in his arms. A small girl, no more than ten years old, with her red hair matted against her dirty skin. Without a word, you cleaned her up and gave her some food. It felt good, taking care of such a small being. The smile she gave you was enough to brighten your day.
Since then, the two men—Levi and Furlan, as you grew to know them as—had dropped the girl off for you to watch her, as they ran off to do their odd jobs. As the girl grew older, the babysitting visits became less and less frequent. But they still made an effort to stop by and say hello.
Your throat tightens at the memory. Those were the good days. When you only had to worry about keeping customers at bay and setting your limits. It's nice to finally be out of that damn brothel, but still, you’re not used to living in such a foreign environment.
Still, to this day, you don’t know why Levi and Furlan decided to bring you home with them.
You inch closer to the opening of the doorway, eyes still locked on the sandy-haired male. That one’s Furlan—the shorter one with the black hair is Levi. And of course, you can’t forget the red-haired girl, Isabel. Well, she’s no longer a child, but she still acts like one.
Furlan shifts in his seat, craning his neck with a soft groan. He stretches out his arms and rolls his shoulders back. A moment later, he’s hunched over the book again, flipping the page and humming to himself.
Your forehead creases into a frown. What is he doing? Just staring at it?
As grateful as you are for this little bunch of misfits for taking you in, you’d be lying if you said they didn’t have their weird moments. They treat you well and respect your boundaries, but they’re all a little...odd. Levi has an obsession with cleanliness—in fact, your shoulders still hurt from the rigorous scrubbing you had to do in your first two days here. And Isabel, as much as you love her, can be a bit of a headache. She doesn’t know when to be quiet, especially so early in the morning.
And now Furlan? What is he doing, staring at that book for so long? Why does he keep turning the pages? You can only stare at something for so long before you get tired, so what gives?
Suddenly he raises his head, and his eyes find yours.
You stiffen against the doorway, half-hiding behind the wooden frame. This is it—you've been caught. Will he be angry at you for watching him?
But before you can worry too much about it, he gives you a smile and waves. “Good evening,” he says your name softly. “What are you doing up so late?”
You shift your weight from one foot to the other, eyes dropping to the floorboards.
“I could ask you the same thing,” you respond, your voice no more than a whisper. Furlan has to lean slightly in his seat to catch your next words. “What are you doing, anyway? You're just staring at that old thing...”
His eyes widen, and he gestures to the book on the table. “Oh, this? I'm reading it.”
Your forehead creases into a frown. “Huh?”
His jaw drops, but then he shakes his head. Almost as if he’s scolding himself.
“Ah, reading. I'm reading this book...” He eyes you carefully. “...Do you know how to read?”
No, you don’t. In fact, you’ve never even heard that word until today. So you shake your head.
“Oh, I see.” Suddenly, he pushes his chair away from the table and motions to the empty one beside him. He tugs it out slightly before nodding at you. “Wanna learn?”
You tilt your head. “Learn what?”
“To read, silly.” He shakes his head and gives you a smile—the same kind he gives Isabel whenever she’s lost in thought, when her cheeks are puffed out in annoyance. “I can teach you.”
There's no real reason for you to learn how to read. What would you even use it for? You've gotten this far in your life without having to do it. Surely it won’t make much of a difference if you turn him down and refuse, right?
But the thought of seeing his handsome face, dull and sad at your rejection, stirs something inside you. No, you don’t want to make him upset. He’s been good to you so far. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.
So you shrug your shoulders and walk closer to the table, taking a seat beside him. He slides the book over, so it’s resting between you on the table, before moving the candle closer.
“We’ll start out simple,” he says, scooting his chair closer to yours. “Have you read anything before?”
“...No.”
“That’s okay. You'll find out, it’s much easier once you get started.”
He folds the top corner of the page to mark his place before flipping back to the beginning of the book. He points to the left side of the first line on the page.
“See this? These are words, and they’re made up of letters. Each letter has a specific sound to them, and when they’re combined, they make a word with a special meaning. For instance,” he points to the very first word, “this one here has five letters. T-H-E-R-E. Can you repeat those back to me?”
You sound out each letter, eyes still fixed on the word below.
“Good! Now, let’s break it down. This one is a T. Usually it makes a ‘tuh’ sound when it’s by itself. But because they’re an H right after it, it makes a ‘th’ sound. Without the T in front of it, the H would just make a ‘huh’ sound.” A puff of air passes through his lips as he sighs gently. “See? Are you following me so far?”
You raise an eyebrow. “It seems complicated...” Why do the letters have so many different sounds? Why can’t they just each have their own?
“It is,” Furlan agrees with a sheepish smile, “but it gets easier, I promise. The more you practice, the easier it’ll be.”
You only nod and glance back down at the page. Furlan takes this as a sign to continue.
“Now, here’s the E. It sounds exactly how it’s pronounced: ‘eee,’ alright? And there are two of them in here. But because they’re an R in the middle, it makes an ‘err’ sound. Does that make sense?”
You nod slowly. Yeah, it’s starting to. Each letter has its own effect on another. When you look at the whole word, it kind of makes sense.
“Altogether, it makes there. Can you repeat it?”
“...There.”
“Nice job!” He gives you a smile, and there’s a flare in the pit of your stomach. “And you already know how to say it, right? Now all you have to do is read it out loud.”
Yeah, that makes sense. Chances are, you already know a majority of words in this book. You use them every day, even when you don’t realize it. So what if some of them are just written out? They're all the same at the end of the day, aren’t they?
“Okay, now the next one. This one has three letters: W-A-S...”
You continued bit by bit, breaking down every single letter in every different word. Eventually, when you sounded out every word in the line, he had you say them all at once: in the sentence they were written in.
It took you a little while, but you were able to sound out each word properly: “There was no...possibility,” he nods at you, and you continue, “of...taking a walk...that day.”
“Excellent!” Furlan nods eagerly at you, his gray eyes shining brightly. “You’re a natural! Now, do you want to keep going? We still have a bit of light left.”
You glance over at the candle, which has already burned through half its wax. Surely it can hold out for just a bit longer, right?
“...Sure. We can keep going.”
Your heart leaps in your throat at the smile he gives you, and when he leans in to point at the next line of the book, you swear you feel yourself blush.
This little routine of yours goes on for the next couple of nights. Once Levi and Isabel are in their rooms, you and Furlan get settled at the kitchen table, with that old leather-bound book right between you. And every night you practice your pronunciation of the letters, getting at least two lines down before Furlan makes you go to bed.
It's fun, practicing the words with him. After you sound them out, he tells you what each of them means. And slowly but surely, it all begins to make sense. Everything on the page just happens in your head—you see it with your mind rather than your eyes.
Maybe that’s why Furlan loves reading so much. He gets to see things he wouldn’t normally be able to.
“And what about this line?” he asks, motioning halfway down the page.
You squint your eyes, examining the words below. “The said...Eliza, John, and...Georgiana?” He nods, and you repeat the line. “The said Eliza, John, and Georgina were now...clustered around their mama in the...drawing-room...”
“Good,” he murmurs, his arm brushing against yours, “do you want to keep going?”
You nod. It's a longer line than you’re used to, but you can do it. You're sure of it.
“...She lay re-reclined on a sofa by the...fireside, and with her...darlings,” you pronounce after a moment, “about her—”
“Hey.”
You squeak at the sudden voice, nearly jumping out of your skin altogether. Furlan clasps his hand over his mouth to hide his smile as he turns around to face the intruder. When you turn around in your seat, you see Levi standing in the doorway, a fierce glare etched on his features.
“Are you two done yet? You're burning through all the candles.”
Indeed, the candle beside the book is almost out, the stick of wax no more than a nub. The flame is dying quickly; it won’t be long before the room is shrouded in darkness once more.
“Just a bit longer, Levi,” Furlan reassures him, shaking his head. “We’re almost done here.”
Levi grumbles something under his breath before heading back out of the room. He pops in from time to time, at the weirdest times during the night. He must have trouble sleeping, just like you.
“Come on,” Furlan’s voice draws your attention back to the book. “You want to finish this sentence? Then we can call it a night.”
You think it over. Truthfully, you don’t want tonight to end just yet. Over the past few days, you’ve grown to enjoy Furlan’s company in the darkness, with the two of you poring over this leather-bound book. You like the way he compliments you, the way he helps you out when you get stuck on a certain word. He never gets angry with you if you don’t understand something. Instead he keeps his voice gentle, and when you do mess up, he only laughs and shakes his head, telling you that you’ll get it right eventually.
But your eyelids droop with exhaustion. Maybe ending soon wouldn’t be such a bad idea. You are kind of tired...
“Sure, just one more sentence.”
You finish it up a few minutes later, sounding out each of the words almost perfectly. You still trip up over some of the letters, and Furlan has to correct you when you get them wrong. But you don’t mind. You're just grateful he’s teaching you in the first place.
But then the candle flickers out, and the kitchen is enveloped in darkness. At once, you seek out Furlan’s hand and grasp it in your own, lacing your trembling fingers with his. You feel him stiffen, but only for a moment, before he relaxes into your touch.
“Let’s get to bed,” he says, leading you up and out of your seat. “I can walk you back to your room, if you’d like.”
You're grateful for the darkness. At least he can’t see your blush. “Um, thank you. I'd like that...”
He closes the book with a thump and tucks it underneath his arm. With his free hand, he guides you through the darkened kitchen and into the hall. The warmth of his skin on yours only makes you blush harder.
What's with you? Why are you acting so strangely around him all of a sudden? Why can’t you stop blushing like this?
And...why does his hand feel so nice around your own?
All too soon, he reaches the door of your bedroom. Isabel's snores can be heard through the door. The girl begged and begged to share her room with you when you moved in, and finally, you caved in. But as much as you love her, you have to admit, it’s hard to get to sleep when she snores so loudly.
“Here you go.” A sliver of light peeks in through the open window—probably the cast of a lantern on the next house over—and you’re able to see his sweet, gentle smile. “I had fun tonight. You want to continue tomorrow?”
Your face flares up again. “Y-yes! Absolutely!” You wince internally. Do you sound too desperate? “Ah, well, if you want to, that is...”
But Furlan chuckles and nods. “I’d love to. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to. Besides, you’re a fast learner.”
You nod slowly, contemplating your next move. Finally, with a deep breath, you tilt your head and look him in the eye.
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
Without warning, you lean in and plant your lips on his cheek. It's a brief kiss, but it’s soft and sweet all the same. And when you pull away, you swear you can see a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks, even in the faint light of the lantern.
“Goodnight.”
He nods, clearing his throat. “O-okay. Goodnight...”
You hurry into the room you share with Isabel, shutting the door behind you as quickly as you can. But you move so fast you miss the way Furlan reaches up to his cheek, fingers brushing against the kissed skin. And you also miss the smile that graces his features, and he takes a moment to stare at the closed door before heading to his own room for the night.
