do it for me?
Soldier Boy (Ben) x handler!Reader | Payback Era
NOTES: very much inspired by @easytiger-xoâs AMAZING handler!reader story (absolutely give it a read)!! This is loosely based on how stilwell was with homelander but not quite the same at all. Enjoy <3
TW: handler!reader, power imbalance, emotional control, weaponized softness and femininity, soft dominance, definitely leans toward sub!ben, weaponized tenderness, strategic caretaking, manipulation, aftercare (sorta), Ben in denial, subtle mind games, praise as means to manipulate, Ben w/ a praise kink to the max
MASTERLIST
âI said Iâm not fuckinâ goinâ.â
Ben doesnât look at you when he says it. Heâs sunk into the couch, shirtlessâlike alwaysâand stone-heavy, legs spread wide like he owns the air between them. A half-burnt joint dangles from his fingers. The waistband of his sweats is loose, slouching low over his hips, exposing the soft trail of hair that disappears beneath the waistband.
He looks like a man whoâs made up his mindâand drugged himself into a state where no one can change it.
The TV is on. Loud. Something violent flickering across the screen. A bottle of whiskey sweats beside him on the table, next to a prescription bottle with no label. Just your handwriting, in Sharpie: PM ONLY. The capâs off. You donât ask how many he took. Heâd probably lie anyway.
You watch him for a long moment. Quiet. Then you walk in.
Your heels whisper against the rug before you toe them offâsoft and slow, the kind of movement you know he notices even when he pretends not to. You set the branded folder on the marble with a little click. Not loud. Not accusing. Just final.
He doesnât move.
So you sink to your knees in between his widespread feet.
You do it delicatelyâlike itâs second nature to fold down in front of him this way. Your skirt pools around your thighs, and your hands find his legsâwarm, solid, stretched beneath old cotton thatâs been worn soft. He still doesnât look at you.
So you rest your cheek gently against the inside of his thigh.
That gets him.
Ben glances down, frowning like heâs just now realizing youâre there.
âWhat the hellâre you doinâ?â he mumbles, voice raspy and tinged with smoke. âTryinâ to guilt me now?â
You blink up at him slowly. Your lashes flutter. Your lips part like youâve been holding your breath.
âNo,â you say softly. âIâm just so tired.â
His eyes narrow. His jaw ticks. Not because he doesnât believe youâbut because he does.
âI fixed everything, just like you asked,â you murmur, your voice light, like it might float away if you speak too loud. âNo press. New talking points. No Edgar. No Countess. You donât even have to entertain, I made sure of it. Youâll be in and out in under an hour. I picked the scotch you like. Had the steak pre-ordered just how you like it so you wouldnât have to wait.â
Ben exhales, slow and irritable. âYeah? Still donât care. Still not goinâ.â
Your hand glides up his thigh. Just a little. Innocent.
âYou said you liked my red dress,â you whisperâyou sound pitiful and you know it. Itâs exactly what you want. âSo I picked that one. Did my hair the way you like it, too. Thought maybe, just this once, youâd come because I asked.â
He groans, throwing his head back against the cushions. The joint smolders out between his fingers. The remote clatters to the floor when he tosses it aside. âJesus fuckinâ Christ.â
You flinch. Itâs smallâsubtleâbut he sees it. Feels it. And then his hands are on your face.
âHey. Hey.â His fingers cup your cheeks like heâs afraid you might shatter. âDonâtâfuck, donât do that.â
You sniff. Just once. âI know itâs stupid,â you whisper. âItâs justâI try so hard, Ben. And you always push back. Even when Iâm justââ
Your voice breaks. You press your lips together. Blink fast.
He curses under his breath and drags you up into his lap like youâre something soft and breakable and his.
You curl over him, legs folding on either side of his hips, your hands sliding around his neck as you tuck your face into his bare shoulder.
His skin is warm. Smells like sweat, weed, expensive leather. His hands press up under your skirt automaticallyâsmoothing over your thighs, stroking along the backs of them like heâs trying to ground you.
âYouâre not seriously crying over a steakhouse, are you,â he mutters, more annoyed with himself than you.
You donât answer. You just sniff again, quietly. A little pout in your voice. âI thought maybe youâd want to be there,â you whisper. âFor me.â
Benâs groan is practically a growl. He presses his forehead into your shoulder like heâs trying to block out the world. His hands squeeze your waist. Hard.
âYou say shit like that and I swear to God, Iââ He pulls back and grabs your chin, makes you look at him. His thumb strokes along your jaw, his pupils blown wide. âYou flash those fuckinâ eyes at me again, Iâll follow you to the moon. You make it hard for a man to say no, sweetheart.â
You blink at him, all wide-eyed and trembling. âPretty please?â you murmur. âI promise Iâll make it worth your while.â
His mouth drops open like he wants to argue. Yell. Tell you that youâre full of shitâeven if he knows youâre not. Even if he knows youâre one of the very few people in this fucked up company who always follows through when you say something.
But his hands donât let go. His hips are already pressing up beneath you. His breath is hot and a little labored and fucked.
âIâll go,â he relents. âBut if one of those uptight motherfuckers even look at me wrong, Iâm putting âem through the table. And you stay by me the whole time or I walk.â
You smile against his mouth as you lean in to kiss himâsoft and grateful and sweet. Like you hadnât known heâd give into you from the moment your assistant told you he was refusing to go. It just took a little special attention to get him there.
âDeal. I knew youâd come through for me,â you whisper, brushing your nose against his.
He groans again, dragging his hand down your spine, cupping the back of your head like he canât believe what heâs doing.
âGoddamn you, sweetheart,â he mutters into your skin.
You linger in his lap just a breath longerâarms looped around his neck, forehead tucked against his, like you have to soak up the moment. Like itâs something sacred.
But then, so softly he almost misses it: âWeâll need to leave by seven.â
Ben blinks.
You pull back just enough to kiss his cheek. âWhich means youâve got thirty minutes to shower and get dressed.â
He frowns, caught off guard by the shift. âShower?â
You nod, lips still curved sweetly, fingers stroking his jaw. âMhm. Your hairâs all flattened from the couch, baby. And you smell like weed and whiskey and⊠well, you.â
âI smell good,â he grunts, half-defensive, half-amused.
âYou do,â you coo, giving him a little squeeze. âSo good. But not like a man whoâs about to charm a room full of billionaires.â You smooth your hands down his chest, then tug lightly at the waistband of his sweats. âAnd youâre obviously not wearing these.â
He groansâloud and dramatic, head tipping back like you just asked him to go back to war.
âYou promised,â you sing-song gently, trailing your fingers under his chin. âYou said youâd go.â
âDidnât say Iâd play dress-up.â
You gasp like heâs wounded you. âBenjamin.â
He groans again, dragging a hand down his face. âChrist on a cross, you are needy today.â
âTen minutes in the shower,â you murmur, brushing your nose against his. âIâll lay everything out for you. I had wardrobe clean up the suit for you, it was looking dingy. And I bought more of your favorite cologne so I donât want to hear any complaints about putting it on.â
Ben blinks at you, torn between suspicion and arousal. âYou tryinâ to get me laid at this dinner?â
You laugh, soft and honey-warm. âNo. Iâm trying to get you photographed. Looking strong. Powerful. Like Americaâs sexiest war machine.â
He narrows his eyes. âThatâs not a compliment.â
âItâs totally a compliment,â you whisper, already easing off his lap with a quick kiss to the crown of his head. âNow up. Clockâs aâtickin, youâve got exactly eight minutes left.â
Ben mutters something under his breathâprobably about how he survived decades in warzones and now has to be manhandled into brushing his hair by his tiny PR handlerâbut heâs already pushing to his feet.
You brush a hand down his back as he passes, and murmurâ âThank you, baby. Youâre gonna be amazing tonight.â
And just like that, heâs putty again.
Because he is going. And heâll wear what you lay out. And heâll smile when the cameras flash, not because he wants toâbut because you asked.
And he always says yes to you eventually.
The second the penthouse door shuts behind you that night, Ben growls out a breath like heâs been holding it for hours.
âNever again,â he mutters, already tugging at the knot in his tie. âI mean it this time. You can drug me, shoot me, fuckinâ bribe meâI am not sittinâ through another two-hour circle jerk over beef tartare.â
You slip past him quietly, heels in hand, dress swishing just above your ankles as you move through the soft lighting of the living room. No arguments. No sarcasm. Just the gentle click of your shoes being placed neatly by the door.
âI know,â you murmur. âIt was a lot.â
Ben tosses his tie on the couch. âGuy next to me spent ten straight minutes tellinâ me how he grew his own herbs. Fuckinâ herbs, sweetheart. Iâve fought wars for this country. More than once. The fuck do I care about herbs?â
Heâs flushed and fuming, stinking of expensive cologne, even more expensive scotch and barely-restrained violence, but you donât flinch. Donât even blink.
You just glance up from the crystal tray youâre arrangingâtwo fingers of bourbon already poured for him.
You donât try to stop him.
You let him pace.
Let him wear himself out.
Thatâs the key.
Not controlânever control.
Ben bristles at leashes.
But need?
He melts for need.
When heâs worked himself into a proper tantrumâshirt untucked, pacing barefoot on the Persian rug, ranting about assholes and photographers and whatever else pissed him offâyou finally step into his space.
Quiet. Careful. Sweet.
Your touch lands light on his shoulder. âI was so proud of you tonight.â
Ben eyes you warily, like heâs waiting for the catch. âYeah?â
âMhm.â You reach for his collar, brushing it smooth. âI know how much you hate those dinners.â
âYou mean I hate everyone at those dinners.â
âI know, baby.â
He grunts. âOnly went âcause you asked.â
âI know that, too.â You smooth the front of his shirt, your fingers dragging low, just barely skimming over the trail of skin above his waistband. His hands catch your hips, rough and warm.
âSit down,â you murmur, brushing a lock of hair off his brow. âYou ran hot tonight, you need to cool down.â
He looks like heâs about to argue, but then his eyes catch the drink waiting for him on the end table. And the way youâre watching himâchin tilted, gaze soft, one hand smoothing up his chest like itâs muscle memory.
He sinks onto the couch without another word.
You ease into his lap a second later.
Just like always.
Your knees tuck on either side of his thighs, arms loop gently around his neck. His hands instinctively find your waist, and you press a soft kiss below his ear.
He growls into your shoulder. âFuck. You keep lookinâ at me like that and Iâm gonna think you like me.â
âDon't be silly.â You laughâquiet and sweet, forehead tipping against his. âYou know I do.â
He squeezes your waist, voice low and a little rough. âYou gonna show me how much?â
You nod. Innocent. Eager. âI always do when youâre good.â
That makes him twitch beneath you. You feel it. His hands are already sliding down your back, under your thighs, like he canât decide whether to manhandle you or hold you there.
But you just lean in, cupping his face in your hands. âYou let them take their pictures with you,â you murmur, kissing the corner of his mouth.
âA few.â
âYou didnât threaten anyone.â
âOut loud.â
âYou smiled.â
Ben snorts at that one. âI smiled because you were wearinâ that dress.â
Your own smile widens as you reach up, smoothing his collar like youâve done it a thousand times. âThatâs why I wore it.â
He blinks, caught off guard. The storm in his chest quiets just a little. âYeah?â
You nod, tilting your head just slightly, fingers dragging down his chest. âI like looking good for my favorite guy.â
You bit your lipâhe loves when you do that. Playing coy, like you hadnât been planning this since the beginning of dinner. âEspecially because you did tonight for me.â
His jaw flexes. His eyes flick up to yoursâhot and narrow and falling fast. âYeah, I fuckinâ did,â he mutters.
You smile, slow and soft, brushing your nose against his. âIâm so lucky.â
Benâs breath stutters. His hands tighten on you. And there it isâthat tug in his chest.
That animal part of him that needs to feel big. Wanted. Relied on.
âYou looked good,â he mutters, almost sheepish. âReal good. Kept forgettinâ what I was supposed to say.â
âYou didnât have to say anything,â you whisper. âJust sit there and look like the hero you are.â
He groans under his breath. âFuck,â he says, voice thick. âYou say shit like that and I forget why Iâm pissed.â
You tilt your head and coo, fingers threading into his hair. âYou made me so proud tonight.â
You kiss him thenâsoft, slow, syrupyâand pull back just enough to whisper: âSo now you get what you want.â
Ben groans, kneading your ass with both hands. âAnd whatâs that, sweetheart?â
Youâre warm in his lap, lips still close, lashes lowered just enough to be devastating. And when you whisperâ
âMe.â
âhis whole body twitches like you hit a nerve.
He groans, low and guttural, letting his head fall back against the couch, eyes squeezing shut like heâs in pain. âFuck.â
You hum softly and kiss his throat. Once. Twice. Then drag your mouth up toward his ear.
âHowever you want,â you breathe, just barely grazing the shell of it. âYou were perfect.â
His hands are everywhere at onceâgripping your hips, stroking down your back, sliding under your thighs like he needs to feel all of you at once. Thereâs a beat of heavy silence where he just looks at you, blinking like he doesnât believe you said it. âYou mean that?â
You nod. Soft and sure. âMhm, have I ever not?â
Benâs voice drops into something rough and dangerous. âSay it again.â
You press your forehead to his, lips brushing his. âYou did exactly what I asked you to do,â you whisper, slow and honey-sweet. âSo you can fuck me any way you want, baby.â
He growls like it hits something feral in his chest. âFuckinâ Christ on a goddamn cross.â
And then his mouth is on yours, hot and possessive, kissing you like heâs trying to make up for the hours he spent behaving. His hands grip you tighter, pulling you flush against him as he shifts under you, hard and hungry and already getting impatient.
You kiss him slow. Let him take. Let him think heâs taking. Let him feel like heâs in charge while your fingers sneak up into his hair, grounding him, guiding him, praising him between breaths.
âThere you go,â you murmur when he bites at your lower lip. âJust like that. Take what you need, baby.â
He groans into your mouth like heâs never been given such glorious permission before.
Because thatâs the trick, really.
You give him youâsoft and warm and pliantâbut on your terms. You give him everything, and he never even realizes that heâs the one being handled.
âYou were so handsome at that dinner tonight,â you say, cupping his face in both hands. âMy best guy. My hero.â
His breath shudders. âYeah?â he mutters, hands tightening on your waist like he canât help it. âThat right?â
You nod, slow, sweet, letting your hips rock forward just enough to tease him. âYouâre the reason I can walk into any room and keep my head up. They can talk all they want, but I know Iâve got the strongest man in the world in my corner.â
He groans, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass. âFuck, sweetheart, donât say shit like that if youâre not ready to get railed into the goddamn couch.â
You just giggle softly, tracing your thumbs over his cheekbones. âIâm always ready for you.â
Heâs panting nowâeyes dark and hungry, cock straining hard against you. But heâs still not moving. Not yet.
So you lean in, press your lips to his ear. âYouâve been on your best behavior lately,â you murmur. âHavenât scared anyone off. Havenât put anyone through a wall. Youâve done everything I asked. You deserve a real reward.â
Ben swears under his breath, already fumbling to get himself free, to push your panties aside. You tilt your hips to help, fingers brushing his cheek the whole time, so loving. So grateful.
âYou want me?â you whisper. âYou want your girl right here, baby? Right now?â
âFuckinâ always,â he rasps. âDonât make me beg.â
You smile, guiding him to your entrance with soft fingers, already soaked for him.
âI like when you beg, you know that,â you whisper, sinking down slow.
Benâs mouth falls open. His hands fly to your hips like itâs instinct, dragging you flush against him, groaning like it physically hurts to be inside you.
Your hand cradles the back of his head. Your voice stays soft. Always soft. âYou fill me up so good,â you murmur against his ear. âNo one makes me feel like this but you.â
âJesus Christ,â he chokes.
You moan sweetly, rocking your hips in a slow, wet grind.
âYou make me feel so full, Ben. So safe. You always take care of me.â
He growls, full-chested and feral.
You let him take over thenâlet him snap his hips up into you, wild and rough, mouth on your throat like he needs to claim you.
But you still murmur through every thrust.
âThatâs it, my hero. My man. So bigâso deep inside me. Feel so perfect for me, baby.â
He snarls against your neck. âYou keep talkinâ like that and Iâm gonna fill you so fuckinâ full theyâll know youâre mine for a week.â
You gasp, clinging tighter. âI am yours. My whole world revolves around you.â
Heâs close. You can feel it. So you coo in his ear one more timeâquiet, breathless, wicked: âCome for me, baby. My strong, brave hero. Youâve been so goodâgive it to me. Please, Ben. For me?â
He loses it.
His grip bruises. His hips slam up hard and desperate. He groans like heâs been set on fire and buries himself deep inside you, cock twitching, spilling hot and thick and endless.
You hold him through it. Stroke his hair. Kiss his temple. Praise him through every shudder. âThatâs it. Thatâs my man. You did so good, baby.â
Heâs almost trembling, head buried against your chest.
And you just rock gently, purring into his ear like a lullaby.
âYouâll do the ribbon cutting next week, wonât you?â you whisper, soft as velvet. âJust for me?â
Ben groansâbut you feel his head nod, slow and reluctant.
You smile.
You always get what you want.
You stay curled in his lap for a long time after.
Benâs breath is still ragged against your neck, his chest hot and sticky beneath your palms. His arms stay locked around your waist like heâs afraid youâll disappear the second he loosens his grip.
And maybe he should be.
But for nowâyou let him have you.
You keep rocking him with soft touches, your fingers smoothing through his damp hair, your lips brushing his temple. You hum something under your breathânot a lullaby, not quiteâbut warm and familiar. Something only for him.
You stay curled over him just long enough for his heartbeat to settle.
Heâs still warm and solid beneath you, one hand resting heavy on your hip, the other curled at the nape of your neck like he might not let you go.
He always says he doesnât need it.
That he doesnât need youânot like this.
But his body tells the truth.
And so does his silence.
Thatâs the part that makes your stomach flutterânot because itâs sweet, but because itâs true.
No one else can handle him. No one else wants to.
But you?
Youâve made a career out of it.
You press a soft kiss to the hinge of his jaw, then shift, easing off of him slowly, adjusting your panties, smoothing your skirt back into place.
Ben makes a low noise of protest. Not a word, just a sound. Like something youâve taken from him.
You donât look at him just yet.
You keep moving.
You grab his pills, the ones you know he likes to take before bed. No questions asked. You drop them into his lap and you move across the room to adjust the thermostat lower. You settle in front of him, pull his boots off one at a time, placing them neatly by the door. You move into the bedroom through the large, opened sliding doors that separate the space.
Every movement gentle. Familiar. Doting.
Youâre not staying. You never do.
But you take care of him all the same.
âYou donât have to do all that,â he mumbles, voice gone rough.
You finally glance over.
His hairâs a mess. His chest still rising like heâs chasing you through a dream.
You smile, soft and warm. âI know.â
You come back to the couch, sit beside him. Run a hand over his chest, slow and absent like youâre memorizing the shape of him.
âI just want you comfortable. And I think you sleep better when I do this for you.â
He huffs a breath through his nose, eyes heavy on yours.
âYou could stay,â he says, voice rough with something heavier than tiredness. âJust for tonight.â
You smile sadly, smoothing his hair back. âYou need to shower again and go to bed. Youâve got your meeting with Edgar first thing. If I stay, youâll be late.â
âI donât care.â
âI care.â You lean down and kiss him slowâsweet and lingering, fingers brushing the side of his jaw. âAnd Iâve got staff meetings of my own first thing. Youâll see me after.â
He makes a frustrated noise in his chest, but he doesnât argue.
Instead, he catches your wrist and presses a kiss to the inside of it âDonât let anyone talk shit about me,â he murmurs.
You smile, lean into the touch just enough, âI never do.â
You straighten, adjust your dress in the mirror one last time, and head for the door. But just before you leave, you glance back. You smile softly. âGoodnight, Ben.â
The door clicks shut behind you.
You left him satisfied and pliant but wanting moreâjust how you like him.
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