Anon Advice Asks - January 11
intrusive thoughts anon , happy anon (new), yap anon, lesbian girlfriend anon (new)
intrusive thoughts anon
Hi hon <3
I want to send you so much love <3 I know how awful it feels, to be in this space. But you are still here for a reason, and even though life feels like shit right now, I promise you, things will change. You are a good person who is struggling and it breaks my heart to hear how sad you are. I am sending you so many hugs and I hope you are able to find some happy parts of your birthday. My inbox is always open for venting <3
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happy anon (new)
my friend said i get too excited / happy over little things but it's those small things that make life so nice!! like omg look i got a shiny coin in my change today!!! i'm going out with her later!! my soup was as hot as i like it!! (hot enough to feel as it goes down your throat) like idt there's anything wrong with that it's just nice to feel happy in general!! or maybe it's just them Idk :/
There's nothing wrong with that at all! Don't let other people dull your sparkle, it sounds like you're celebrating the little things in life and I think a lot of us need to do that more!
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yap anon
Cas it's yap anon again
How do I start a conversation to tell someone about my thoughts
Like it's nothing bad I just feel like there's been some shift between me and my friend and I've had thoughts that they'll realise they don't have a lot in common with me and they'll leave for the new people theyve met and it worries me cuz I really value the friendship yk
I don't know how to talk about it without seeming like needy and jealous yk
honestly, in these cases, usually I just wait for a moment where the other person isn't caught up in something and then I say "hey is now a good time to talk about something?"
I think it's important to ACTUALLY find a good time to talk about feelings- like don't do it in a busy or emotional moment, because that's just asking for it to go bad. But once you find a good moment, you have every right to share your feelings and ask for reassurance!
Also with the message- I can see how you would feel brushed off. That might be something to bring up as well!
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lesbian girlfriend anon (new)
Hey Cas, so I have a priblem
My girlfriend of 6 months, didn't broke up with me, though I said I think I am a man 3 months ago. Right now I am certain I am a guy. It took 2 months to be certain.
And my girlfriend is lesbian. She said she could never date a man.
And I don't know what's worse, her seeing me as a girl still, or her breaking up with me.
And I know for a fact she is not interested in men. At all. I asked recently if she was.
I don't know what I should do
Hi!
okay this is a tough one, but I really think that you need to talk with her about this more. Like you need to spell it out to her. "I am a man. You say you are not interested in men. If this is true, we need to break up."
The problem is, cis people don't always understand the nuance of gender. A lot are willing to learn, but sometimes they need to be taught. And as much as it sucks to have to teach them, it may be that she is genuinely unaware she is doing something hurtful. I'm not making excuses, it's just...I've spoken with so many people like this before. Cis people often have the privilege of not NEEDING to know a lot about the nuance of gender.
So you have to set boundaries: "I am a man. If you are not interested in men, we need to break up. If you are interested in me, you need to see me as a man, and change the language you use. You also need to do some research and learning about trans people." And if she decides she still likes you and is, therefore, interested in some men? Great! As long as she changes her verbiage and educates herself (and you still want her) then there's no reason why you can't be together. But if not...you might have to be the person to rip off that band-aid, I'm afraid.
I'm sending you love, this is a tough problem <3
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