#harrypottertextpost

[annabellelupin]

Lily: You can say please and thank you a million times in front of him and he won't repeat it

Lily: but you say fuck once and it's like it's the only word he knows

[weasleys-spellbook]

Regulus: You wanna do what models do on runway?

Sirius: No Reggie, that's a strut I said I am a slu-

[hogwarts-marauderss]

Sirius: It's okay if you don't like me, not everyone has good taste.

James: *hands cupped around his mouth* stop quoting things from the internet!

Sirius: Let me live okay!

[daisysinadarkmedow]

sirius: snatched me one of them,,uhhh,,, he/theys!

remus: ill eat dirt right now if u shut up

[yourschoolbathrooms]

Hello, I’m just wondering why NOBODY is TALKING about how Neville Longbottom cut off Nagini’s head and killed the last horcrux???????! HE TRUSTED HARRY’s last words without a single doubt, risked his LIFE to follow through with what he promised Harry without even KNOWing what Nagini was or meant. He just did it out of pure love and trust for Harry. :(

[annecdote-blog1]

Wolfstar caught by James.

James: Remus, what are you doing under the blankets with Sirius?

Remus: *frantically covers himself with the blanket,and eyes widen*

Fuck. Uhm, ugh, Sirius had a little problem with his um you-know-where. Since I was his closest friend, he wanted me to check and see if he was okay.

James: And both your lips are swollen?

Sirius: *Hides used condom* Oh Lily gave us a chapstick to try on and we, um, we both had allergic reactions to it. *ruddy well knows that they both have been caught having sex*

James: *stares at them suspiciously and then expression changes* Gosh darn it! Sirius, I thought I was your best friend! I thought Lily loved me! No one trusts me anymore! *walks out of room*

Remus: How fucking oblivious is he?

Sirius: I mean he didn't understand what Lily meant by 'fuck off, dick' and he kept going back to her.

[dobbysclothes]

can't believe they offer chocolate gâteau at hogwarts 😻😩

[fortrapsandfordaphne]

Remus: *phone rings* James: you still call your dad, daddy? Remus: Hey Sirius... James: *chokes*