gn! Reader | not proofread | angst | happy end
A/N: Did Headcanons since my askbox is overflowing at this point thank you, I love creating for you guys!! 💌
No one's sure what evil might attacked the Judas Priest, but even his abilities have their limit. He can't withstand anything.
You haven't left Anderson's side ever since the incident. He's been unresponsive for days already, and you insist to care for him all by yourself. Reading to him, praying, tending to his wounds.
By the end of the week you're still there, holding his hand as you pour your heart out, crying about needing him to come back and how you can't live without him. Finally, he begins to move, but your relief won't last for long.
Before you can even register it you're tackled to the ground with a bayonet pressed against your throat, furious eyes staring you down.
You try to reason with your boyfriend, tell him he's ill and confused and you don't want to hurt him, but any word of yours is deflected by spiteful insults and accusations.
The shock sits too deep for you to defend yourself, but gladly Heinkel and Yumie notice the turmoil and come to your aid. It's only due to his weakened state that they manage to tear him off of you, yet he continues hurling vile threats at you in his demented wrath.
There's not much left but fleeing the scene, heart scattering as you hear him scream after you, ordering his foster kids to let go off of him so he can "slaughter this abomination". You never thought to hear such words coming out of his mouth ever again.
He only calms down after the Vatican officials confirm their explanation. Yet it remains absurd to him, he refuses to believe that he willingly fraternized with a rotten monster like you are one, even bringing it back home to lurk among innocents. Sacrilege.
Whatever led him to such shameful deeds, god must've given him a second chance to correct this mistake through this twist of fate.
He tries to rationalize the decisions he cannot remember, to repel everything that feels like an entirely different person has committed it. Yes, certainly he was under a spell this whole time and only now it was broken! How could the others not see, why did no one stop him - worse, even allowed it to happen?
Nonetheless, you were an official member of Iscariot as it seems, so his hands are tied for now if he doesn't want to face repercussions. But having an enemy right in front of his nose and being unable to cleanse the world off of this filth only further feeds into his anger and madness.
You on the other hand remain heartbroken and even slightly terrified of your former lover, feeling his vicious bloodlust oozing off of him whenever you meet. Which is quite often, frankly, with him always observing you from afar.
The more he learns, the more this whole situation enrages him. He sees his room full of your belongings, photos that prove how far your enticement had defiled him. He tears it all off the walls in a fit of rage, throws everything he didn't destroy out, yet Yumie stored it away safely shall he want it back someday.
What's worse is that while his mind can't remember, his body certainly does. He can still feel your touch lingering on him like something not even holy water could cleanse, the sound of your voice like a siren and your scent lingering everywhere driving him insane. His body reacts against his will, being drawn to you no matter what.
He's disgusted just looking at you, seeing that beautiful face as nothing more than the alluring mask of a predator. You can act innocent all you want, but he's certain to know what you really are...and he'll make anyone else see the truth as well.
Even though it's hard, you try to avoid him as good as you can, no matter how much you yearn for things to go back to normal. Nothing had seemed to work until now and you seriously consider just leaving this life behind alltogether. Being so close yet so far away was torture...
One night he sees you carrying a young child through the hallway, calming the boy down after a nightmare. Yet his blinding hatred twists logic into thinking the kid in danger. He practically tears the boy out of your arms as he cries and pleads to stay with you, making you finally snap.
You order the kid back to his room and punch Anderson's face so hard that he loses a teeth that instantly regrows - yelling at him to just put an end to your misery if he really wants things to end this way. He doesn't, he can't.
After that encounter he's even more shaken up than before, and not knowing what else to do he finds himself rummaging through your belongings. He had thrown it all into a box and disposed of it without looking at anyhting first back then, but gladly Yumie didn't ask any questions as he wanted them back.
There's small gifts inside like a handmade rosary, books he cannot remember having read, an incredibly ugly shirt that said 'fluent in prayers and dad-jokes'...and a photo of you two in front of the cologne cathedral. It's dated two years back, and there's something scribbled on the back in his own handwriting: "I have found the one whom my soul loves." (Song of Solomon 3:4) The longer he looks at it, the more painful his guts twist. He seems so...sincerely happy back then. Unlike the miserable wretch he is now.
At this point it's more a mental block than anything, and it's up to Anderson to overcome his own bigotry and allow himself to break down those walls.
Soon after Maxwell has the glorious idea of assigning you two to the same mission so you'd at least find some common ground again. It'll be the most awkward travel you've ever been through, but at least he's quiet for a change. Truth be told he's not in any state to argue, being far too busy ignoring his resurfacing affection for you despite still not remembering a thing. Seems like some things are just predetermined.
Just before diving into the actual fight you pray besides each other, and Anderson breaks the silence with a heartfelt apology for his behavior and a promise to make up for the sorrow he caused you. He doesn't voice all of his thoughts, but deep inside he hopes that maybe the two of you can become close once again, even if he never remembers.
During the battle however the enemy got you cornered, and upon witnessing you getting seriously injured Anderson sees red. He comes to your aid, slaying himself through to you while catching several bullets in the process. It's not the first time this has happened, and as soon as you're safe he murmurs the words he always reassured you with in the past: "We've got each other's back."
It won't be like in the movies, with that one big moment instantly healing him, but almost losing you certainly got the process starting. He'd fall to his knees and give you a bear hug, his mind still foggy yet some memories slowly returning.
From then on you'll recapture everything together, dwelling in old memories of your relationship through evidence or long conversations. Things will take a while, but no matter how contradicting his actions were, Anderson had never really stopped being yours. His heart is always only ever roaring your name.











