Here’s how toxic I was back in the day (and yes I’m admitting to all my mistakes);
I used to have a big go at people and bully them when I thought they were prettier than me.
I used to cause arguments because I couldn’t have a go at my family so I had a go at strangers on the Internet. Or I used to have a big go at people who I knew.
I used to stalk people on social media and wishing my life was theirs.
When I was a kid, I used to start fights, didn’t care if I got beaten up either. I had a lot of anger problems that I didn’t know how to deal with.
I was supper attached with my abusers and speaking of them highly (especially my mother). I also didn’t realise at the time I had Trauma Bonding. (Will do a post in detail about that in the future.)
I used to drink alcohol to hide the pain. Never realising it was causing more harm than good.
I used to cause arguments with people who wronged me in the past. Didn’t think ar the time that strong feeling I had was an emotional flashback, not realising that happened long ago.
I used to gossip and bitch about people a lot, thinking that was healthy. It’s NEVER okay in anyway shape of form to do that.
I used to judge people so easily but never thinking I copied that from my mother. It’s NEVER okay to judge someone, just because you follow their lifestyle, doesn’t mean you can judge them.
I used to bully my own friends, thinking that was okay to do, since my own mother did that with her friends. It’s NEVER okay to do that.
I used put my own insecurities onto my friends and other people. Again, that’s NEVER okay to do.
I used to say “get over it” or “why can’t you be happy for once” or “can’t you just stop being depressed” or “can’t you just ‘snap it out of it’” to people who are depressed, have anxiety or have social anxiety and so on. I thought this was normal since my mother said it all the time to me and never realising I copied it from her. Again, this is NEVER okay to do.
I thought I knew everything and I used to give people really bad advice. Never realising I copied it from my mother.
I thought it was weird that some people didn’t drink alcohol. So I used to persuade my own friends to drink more. This is NEVER okay to do.
Even tho when I was living with my mother, I had two lives. Like one life where I was dating girls, having one stands with girls and going out drinking behind my families back. The other life I used to judge my own friends for being apart of LGBTQIA+ community. This is NEVER okay to do.
I used to think it was weird and strange that people are asexual and they need therapy to be into sex. I was basically judging their lives. Again, this is NEVER okay to do.
I used to judge people for marrying twice and thought they were sluts. I never realised my mother taught me this and I was copying her traits. Again, NEVER okay to do.
I thought it was okay for guys to use me and they could have sex with me, whenever they feel like (I had a lot of dissociation with sex in general).
I thought it was normal that guys would beat me up daily (I had a lot of Trauma Bonding issues).
I used to bully my own friends and other people for their disabilities, even hidden disabilities. Again, NEVER okay to do.
People used to have to walk like there’s eggshells around me. Making sure they don’t offend me. (Btw, that’s super toxic).
I used to judge people on their happiness, like people watching ASMR or something that makes them happy. Just because I don’t do what they do, doesn’t mean it’s okay to judge people’s lives. This is NEVER okay to do.
I used to judge people who go out drinking every weekend or month. This is NEVER okay to do.
I used to judge women for being pornstars or selling their bodies on the Internet; via webcam girls, models who do nudes and lingerie. I thought it was “not natural” and wrong because the bible says it’s wrong. This is NEVER okay to do. Hence why I follow Wicca now.
I used to judge other people’s religions and beliefs because the bible says it’s wrong. This is NEVER EVER okay to do. Hence why I don’t follow Christianity anymore, I follow Wicca.
I used to be super racist and thought white is the superior race. Any other race is dumb, any culture is rude and anyone who isn’t white should be poor and white people should be rich. This is NEVER EVER okay to do.
I used to think that being a transgender was wrong and they weren’t “real people”, like they had no rights and it’s wrong to change the gender because it’s against the bible. For example; you are born as a male so you should stay as a male and you are born as a female, you should stay as a female. Being transgender is “not natural and goes against God who created you”. This is NEVER EVER okay to think like that. Hence why I follow Wicca.
I used to think that women got asked for rape because women should bow down to men at all times. (I’m still shocked I used to think like this). This is NEVER EVER okay to think like that.
I used to think tattoos was the devils work and you should never get a tattoo because you’re “damaging your skin that god created for you”. This is so WRONG to think like that. Hence why I’m following Wicca and not Christianity.
I used to think that women should cover up and if you show cleavage that you’re a slut and asking to get raped. This is NEVER okay to think like that.
I thought spreading rumours about someone was okay. Even if my mother started it, I thought it was normal. This is NEVER okay to do.
I used to think it was weird and wrong that girls would have one boyfriend throughout their life. So WRONG.
I used to think that people should have lost their virginity till they were at least 13-16. This is soooo WRONG on so many levels.
I used to think it was weird and wrong if you’re still a virgin by 50+. This is WRONG.
I used to think it was wrong that a woman had children not be married. So WRONG.
I used to think the man should stay around all the time and have him around for his sakes and the children’s sake. Even tho he’s abusing the wife. This is NEVER OKAY.
I used to think divorce is wrong, even tho they are getting abused and raped daily. Completely WRONG to think that.
I used to think that people can get over death easily. That death isn’t that big of a deal. Even if they got murdered or they have committed suicide and it’s “not a big deal”. This is NEVER okay to think like this.
Suicide is wrong and they will go to hell and be tortured for the rest of time. Suicide is selfish and it’s wrong. Satan will punish the person and they should “get over” their suicidal thoughts. THIS IS NEVER EVER OKAY TO THINK LIKE THAT.
I used to think miscarriages are “not a big deal”. This is NEVER EVER okay to think like that.
I used to think doing drugs and drinking alcohol to avoid pain was normal. So toxic btw.
My family does incest and marry their cousins, fuck their uncles/aunties that’s okay to do. I thought this was normal. THIS IS NEVER EVER EVER OKAY.
I thought it was normal that my family picked my friends and the people who I date and marry. This is illegal and SO WRONG!
I thought it was weird and wrong for people who didn’t to marry outside of the families circle. Like I thought it was okay to marry my cousins or family friends. This is soooo WRONG on so many levels.
I used to think any kind of therapy was bad and they should “get over it”. This is NEVER okay to do.
I used to be such a people pleaser and everyone should like me and should be friends with me. (This is soooo toxic.)
I used force friendship on people (this also super duper toxic).
I used to think that women should marry and have kids later. So WRONG!
I used to think women should never be single parent. SO WRONG!
I used to think it was wrong that women didn’t want children and not get married. This is WRONG btw.
I thought it was wrong that people didn’t get married in a church. So WRONG!
All LBGTQIA+ shouldn’t get married, they are not human beings and they go against the bible. This is so stupid and so WRONG!
I used to think men who dress up as drag queens are “not natural” and it goes against the bible and they should be thrown in jail and hell. So this is NEVER okay to think like that.
I used to think that people who didn’t swear are weird and “unnatural”. This is so toxic.
I used to judge peoples kinks and fetishes. This is soooo toxic.
I used to think guys raping me was okay and I was “asking for it” or they were “entitled” to have sex with me. Aka rape me was okay. This is NEVER EVER okay to think like that.
I used to shit stir with my friends and cause arguments within friendship groups. This is soooooo toxic.
I used to think only women are victims to domestic abuse and men should “man up”. THIS IS SO WRONG!
I used to think that everyone should marry, have children and live how the bible says. Soooo WRONG!
I used to think adults watching cartoons (not anime) is babyish and wrong. This is so toxic btw.
I used to think men should only game and not women. So wrong.
I used to think some jobs should be a mans only job and the women should stay in the kitchen. Super toxic btw.
I used to think that everyone should go to church and if they don’t, they will go to hell. This is so stupid btw.
I used to think that single dads are going to be bad dads and the children should go to the woman. Also that woman should be married to a different man so they can’t be single and grow up a child/children on their own. This is soooo toxic.
I used to think women shouldn’t have their own business and women should stay in the kitchen. This is super toxic.
It’s a mans job to be in the military and women can’t because they are women. Women can’t shoot because they are women. Again, so toxic and so WRONG!
I used to think that you can’t have children and work at the same time. So toxic btw.
I used to think children are dumb and they don’t understand when you call them names. Btw they do understand and they are not dumb in anyway shape or form.
I used to think that a still borns death is normal and they should never grieve. The woman should blame herself for the still birth. This is so WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!
I think that’s everything. Sorry it’s a huge list, I just had to write it down because I know I was toxic before. So writing down all my mistakes, honestly makes me feel better, like I’m admiting my wrongs and I’m trying not to be a toxic person. Trying not to be like my mother.









