#hypersexual ace

[frankiehasfangs]

You are not a bad person for your trauma response. It is not your fault that people hurt you and mistreated you; and that your brain didn’t know how to properly cope with that.

[our-hyperace-experience]

Wanted to share this because it irks me.

Hate feeling like my body is working against my brain all the time, feeling horny when I know I shouldn’t be, nor do I wanna be. And it clashes so heavily with my asexuality, feeling simultaneously on both ends somehow.

Not to mention my hypersexuality makes me feel ashamed most of the time, like I feel like a bad person due to my impulses or thoughts. I don’t act on them, but idk. It’s not fun, it doesn’t help people think hypersexuality is a trend.

It’s a real disorder, and it causes issues. It’s not something someone should want to have. like cmon y’all. 😭

^^^^^ last line is something people need to hear

people romanticize hypersexuality heavily, seeing people go "i wanna hypersex partner" is so irritating

it is a mental illness, i cant say "i want a bf with depression" or "i want a manic gf" especially if i dont know much about those conditions. in the end youre gonna make their mental health worse if you take advantage of their mental illness

[ace-culture-is]

hypersexual (due to trauma) ace culture is being AAAAAAAA why do i wanna sexualise myself i dont even LIKE sexual stuff

.

[jilted-love]

"hypersexual ace is an ace with increased libido due to trauma" are you going to tell me that I had BOTH anal and vaginal sex at first try at penetration because of "sexual trauma" before anything sexual ever happened to me, traumatic or not? Just call me a slut and return my bodily autonomy to me. Hypersexual ace definition could have stopped at "increased libido", no need to make it about trauma when not all of us need to be traumatized to think about sex this much. Saying it like this makes it feel like we are only validated and accepted on the ace spectrum if people pity us enough and god I fucking hate that. Also, pretending to know about other people's trauma because of our sexuality labels is pretty fucking invasive.

[blasphemyofroses]

hi! (ignore this ask if it's rude or intrusive) out of curiosity, how does hypersexual ace work? like is hypersexuality on the ace spectrum? asking for a friend. - @prettyprincette

Hey Anon! I tried to @ you but your Tumblr was deleted, but I'll answer anyways. It took so long mostly because I just wasn't certain how to answer, as it's kinda a mystery myself.

For me, being hypersexual isn't the same as ace at all. Asexuality often refers to not experiencing sexual attraction, which is how I feel. I've never actually wanted to have sex with someone, but I have a lot of pent up urges. As for the "spectrum", it's a lot more complicated than like.. a line. It's kinda a circle, but I'm not 100% on how that circle would be diagrammed. So I just think of it as two separate entities.

For me, the term hypersexual asexual is a lot of "Fuck around, but not finding out" type of deal. I want to do the stuff that kinksters do, but I do not want genitals touching, if that makes sense.

Asexuals can still be horny! Which surprises a lot of people that aren't LGBT, for some reason. No hate at all, but most think we're "innocent" and infantile us which is very much not the case. But back on topic, I am most definitely one of those types of aces. And I am very much involved with kink (Kinda obvious but still).

My experience with asexuality and hypersexual are personal to me. So it's not the same for everyone. However I find a lot of comfort in the term, and exploring my sexuality has been a great deal of help (especially this blog). Do know that there is a whole community of kinksters that are ace, and it's not totally uncommon! I think it’s because of the intimacy is a key thing, and maybe I’ll ramble more about it later.

I hope this answers the question a bit, and sparks you to look more into it. <3 Anyone, or you again anon, can send me an ask if anyone wants more of my personal experience or anything else! :)

[crowslunasidhe]

I saw a thing and I got frustrated

.

.

you can be both hypersexual and asexual.

I know this because that’s what I experience due to being an asexual with bipolar disorder who when manic, which is often, I’m hypersexual.

I still don’t feel sexual attraction to people but I sure as fuck have an impulsive sex drive. One that causes me distress BECAUSE I’M ALSO ASEXUAL!

Asexuality isn’t inherently good and hypersexuality is not inherently bad

in fact they do not have to be exclusive of each other either. Like treating them as opposites is not correct. They’re not

As a hypersexual ace it’s hella frustrating seeing someone trying to say that asexuality and hypersexuality cannot ever go together and I just needed to vent

Apologies.

[just-graysexual]

I'm feeling so distressed :( I've been back and forth thinking I'm maybe ace and on the aro spectrum but other times I'm like no I'm just not hypersexual that's all but then i just. don't even think about sex like more than once a month and thinking about getting intimate with someone just feels really scary even though I'm 19... but it might be bc i feel like my body is gross and I have no self esteem which I'm working on... (1/2)

Hey Anon,

I apologize, but this is the only message I received. Tumblr must’ve eaten the part. I am so sorry you feel this way, but hang in there. Stay strong. Learning about yourself is not an easy thing to go through and it can be very stressful; especially with so many conflicting feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Just take a deep breath. You will get through this. Take it step-by-step.

Don’t stress too much about what ifs or what you could be. This can drive you crazy, however, it is something many aces and aros go through. It is very common for us to doubt ourself and questions our own orientations. It’s okay to have this back and forth battle with yourself, but don’t let the doubts distract you. A pretty good indicator that you might be ace and aro is the fact that you question if you really are ace/aro or allo-. Majority of the time, non-aces and non-aros do not have this internal struggle. Keep this in mind and take that as your first step. You don’t have to dive deeper into terms just at the moment. Give yourself some time to understand that it’s okay to have these thoughts an feelings, but overall if you have to question it odds are you are ace and aro.

It’s perfectly fine to be hypersexual and ace and aro. This does not have to take away or invalidate your ace and aro orientation. Just because you are hypersexual does not mean that you cannot be ace or aro. There are many aces and aros who are hypersexual. It is understandable that being hypersexual can make you question your ace or aro orientation that much more. It’s not easy having such conflicting feelings. Feel free to look into other hypersexual aces and ask around for some help.

It’s also okay if being intimate with someone scares you. This does not necessarily mean that you are ace or aro, but you can use it as a way to identify if you wish. You might have some sex aversion and romance aversion and that is perfectly fine. Many people ace, aro, non-ace, and non-aro can have different aversions. And don’t worry about your age. It does not matter what age you are, if you don’t care to be intimate with someone and if it scares that is fine; this can happen to anyone at any age. Your life experiences and feelings do not have to coincide with the projected image of what someone your age should be experiencing or feeling. You will probably be surprised at how many people your age feel the same way that you do.

It’s okay if your body feels gross. Many people don’t like their body’s or parts of their body’s. You are definitely not alone in this. And it’s not an easy thing to overcome. But I am glad to hear that you are working on yours self esteem and image. That’s good! Keep it up! You don’t have to like your body, but you should love yourself. Remember there is more to you than how you look and your orientations. You are a person with thoughts, feelings, and ideas. You are important to other people. You mean something to other people. People like you and love you because of you. Not your orientation or how you like. It’s you they like. And to the right people, it’s only you that matters. Never forget that. 

Remember, if you are questioning and wondering about these things odds are you might be ace and aro. Take that as a stepping block for now. Work on accepting this and squashing those other doubts. Give yourself some time. Many aces and aros doubt their orientations, including me, but deep down I know that I am different from non-ace people and that helps me accept my orientation. After that, then dig a little deeper into your feelings and attractions. This can help and you can explore more ace and aro orientations. Don’t let all the terms and orientations overwhelm you; there is a lot, but the more you learn about yourself the more things start to make sense.

Stay strong, Anon. Everything will fall into place eventually. Learning about yourself is like putting together a puzzle, you get to a point where it becomes really hard, you try different pieces to see if they fit, but eventually the right piece goes into the proper place. You will get there. Keep working on your image and self love; that’s important. Focus on that first and then continue working on your orientations. If you need any help, have any questions, or need to talk feel free to message us anytime.

[hypersexualaces]

I started this blog as a place to provide positivity, support, and a community to people who are both asexual and hypersexual, but I’ve been slacking on that for a while now and I don’t want this blog to continue being inactive

I’m looking for people to help run this blog. I need mods who can post/reblog positivity, support, and informative posts and answer questions people have about hypersexuality/asexuality while keeping discourse off the blog

I would prefer mods who are hypersexual (or questioning) and ace/ace spectrum/etc (or questioning) but all applicants will be considered

Whether you submit an application or not, signal boosting this post would really be appreciated!