#hyposexuality

[solvershost]

shoutout to hyposexuals and asexuals with hypersexual partners who find it tough to navigate the more adult side of their relationship with eachother but make it work. you guys rock

[caineholic]

I have such a huge genital dysphoria that it's became a reason why I have HSDD now. I want someone suck my dick and fuck them with it, fuck. I'm 17 years old but I can't get rid of my arousal. I need some help

[kunikloj]

Shout-out to my traumagenic hyposexuals.

(TWs in tags, but just in case: Sex mention, CSA mention, trauma mention, SA mention, mentions of hyposexual microaggressions)

Shout-out to all of us who get left out of conversations surrounding PTSD accommodation.

Shout-out to everyone who is told to manage their triggers despite rarely receiving warnings for sexual content.

Shout-out to anyone who is affected by random sexual content from accounts they don't follow appearing on their dash, especially those which tie into their specific traumatic experiences.

Shout-out to those of us who have been in therapy for our trauma for years, yet still get treated as though we aren't working hard enough to "grow out" of our difficulties surrounding sex.

Shout-out to those of us who have been on the road to recovery long enough that we know we won't ever be fully "cured."

Shout-out to people who have lost relationships and marriages due to being hyposexual.

Shout-out to everyone who has felt pain from microaggressive labels being incorrectly applied to them, such as "incel" or "virgin", and who still feel anger seeing those labels thrown at people who simply can't engage in sexual topics like everyone else. (And a double shout-out to anyone who recognizes how messed up it is to use "virgin" as an insult!)

Shout-out to all my hyposexual aces.

Shout-out to all hyposexuals who don't identify as ace because they feel left out of the community.

Shout-out to all hyposexuals who were told they weren't "really" ace because they weren't born that way, and by extension, are able to somehow rid themselves of their asexuality.

Shout-out to all hyposexuals who never had the luxury of knowing whether they were "truly" ace because their trauma occurred before puberty, and will never know the answer.

Shout-out to people who want to identify as ace but feel they don't count because they lost their sexuality after their trauma occurred.

Shout-out to hyposexual systems across the dissociative spectrum.

Shout-out to hyposexuals who are not systems, but still suffer from a dissociative disorder.

Shout-out to everyone who has to vet popular music, TV shows, and movies to avoid triggers.

Shout-out to anyone who forced themselves to be sexual in a relationship in hopes to "get over" their hyposexuality, but only suffered more for it.

Shout-out to every hyposexual over 30 who still feels doubted, belittled, and condescended by online discourse. (And everyone younger, of course!)

Shout-out to hyposexual survivors who understand that they are only one half of the survivor coin, and who do not judge hypersexuals for their experiences, yet are assumed to be judgmental regardless.

Shout-out to hyposexuals who truly want legalization, regulation, and protection for sex workers, but have to avoid those discussions for their own mental well-being.

Shout-out to hyposexuals who aren't at a place where they can even talk about it yet.

Shout-out to hyposexuals who are treated with pity, even if they feel like they aren't missing out on anything.

Shout-out to hyposexuals who feel rejected from queer spaces, and even progressive spaces in general, because they aren't given the space to be understood.

Shout-out to hyposexuals who need Pride, but can't go due to their triggers.

I could go on, but I think my message is clear:

I see you. I hear you. I love you. We are not alone, no matter how lonely it may feel. You will always belong in my eyes.

[flittermousemoth]

Yes, I am bi(annually)sexual.

[whoneedssexed]

I noticed your asexuality post. I found that fascinating. However do you know if there are any resources to disambiguate asexuality/demisexuality and hyposexuality?

So first, let’s remember that lack of attraction doesn’t mean lack of desire. Not every asexual is sex-repulsed.

Hyposexuality is generally described as a lack of desire. So if you still like and have sex but don’t really feel sexually attracted to anyone? Congrats, that’s being ace.

But, that being said, some of ace folk are sex-repulsed. Now how do we tell the difference?

Unfortunately, it’s still a little hard to sift out. Generally, the difference should be that the lack of libido is distressing to the person, but this is a problematic line to draw as in an acephobic society, people may become distressed because they don’t know that ace is even a thing. LGBT+ activists have pointed out this problem numerous times.

It’s easier to tell when the lack of libido is sudden, when previously you experienced it, and now you’re upset that it’s gone. This also makes it easier to treat because the cause is easier to find.

But some people are just sex-repulsed, regardless of if they’re ace or not, and are fine that way. 

The problem is that we see hyposexuality as requiring treatment because we live in such a society that sees sexuality as necessary, when it’s not. Similar to how autistics are seen as needing to be cured, when we're just different, not deficient - or really, a lot of ways one can be neurodivergent or disabled. 

People with hyposexuality, sex-repulsion, etc, need to know it’s okay for us to feel this way and we don’t need a cure if we don’t desire one. This is where the “distress” thing comes into play again, problematic though it can be - but if someone appears to be fine as they are, then diagnosis isn’t needed and definitely treatment isn’t.

- mod BP

[abcsofadhd]

Hey I found your blog today and it's a blessing. I wanted to ask if ADHD has any effect on how we experience Sexuality? I used to think I was asexual for years because unlike everyone else I just never noticed being attracted to someone? But around a year ago I noticed that I might actually just be gay? However, whenever I asked anyone how they knew they were attracted to x they were like "I just knew" and yeah I definitelly don't. While I find girls more appealing I'm not sure it's attraction.

ADHD can make someone either hyposexual (likelier with inattentive symptoms) or hypersexual (likelier with hyperactive-impulsive symptoms). 

Hyposexuality can be mistaken for asexuality. 

“Asexuality is an identity formed around community and personal experience,” explained a spokesperson for the LGBT Foundation, “while hyposexuality is a diagnosis given to people who are not asexual but are experiencing difficulty achieving sexual arousal.“

[honexjams]

the opposite of hypersexual is hyposexual

the opposite of asexual is allosexual

Hyper/hypo-sexuality is dependent on libido

A/allo-sexuality is dependent on attraction

I see hypersexual used as the opposite to asexual a lot, which it isn't. ​you could be hypersexual and asexual or hyposexual and allosexual, cos those lables reference different parts of your sexuality

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[never-not-ever]

But seriously though... I was just about to reblog a post “boobs are really nice though” and I hovered over the reblog button, got a mental image of boobs and was like “eh, nah”. Like what is wrong with me??? I love girls. I love boobs. But right now I’m just like yeaaaa no.

Does this ever happen to anyone else?? Hyper-sexual one day and then hypo-sexual the next?