#i will draw bully more...soon...eventually... trust

[celorangeine]

waiter eefo

[onceinamillionposter]

✧ ⸝⸝ Bloodsheds Melody

a/n : I had this in my mind for days and I will definitely be doing this along side graffiti reader after the honey ring series! If you are new here and don’t know what the honey ring is refer to my masterlist to get connected!

TW : Child neglect and mention of blood

Proceed with caution!

I’ll keep playing. No matter the screams of agony. I’ll keep playing.

You were born from your mother. A music teacher. Your life was normal minus the fact you went to one of the top schools in Gotham and had a father, who passed away unfortunately but it was okay.

Growing up wasn't difficult from the fact you went to Gotham prep as soon as you were able to go to highschool alongside Dick Grayson. You guys weren't close but you grew to know each other through forced proximity, your mother being his teacher.

Often you would have to sit in the same room watching Dick attempt to play the piano. He was terrible at it, and naturally you were fantastic above your years. Grayson grew a tad bit of jealousy at you but it eventually stopped as he quit learning a year later.

When you reached 14, your mother passed away and naturally your aunties and uncles would take care of you- if you had any known ones. Your mother put you in Alfred's trust, so you grew inside the Wayne manor watching as people drifted in and out. You weren't bullied or hurt by any means but gosh you felt so , invisible.

You were forgotten, big events lost in the back of people's memories over the years failing to put in any effort to show up for you. So you stopped trying,

You found comfort in playing the piano for your mother's memory, taking music classes as a main subject while you were in Gotham prep, avoiding bullies by staying inside a class at lunches. That was how Damian grew to like you, classical music was something he enjoyed. And your presence, wasn't a bad add on. He would sit in on you playing music in your room , all to your lonesome.

At gala's it was a pain. You stood there awkwardly looking adorable in a blue silk gown you owned. You would ignore the live concert seeing the charcuterie board on the sides. That's until you heard it, the loud noise on stage and the draw of strings. The violin held by a gorgeous woman, she glowed as she played the instrument, sharp and precise. No one saw her, but you did. That soft smile on her face, her eyes shut to enjoy music seeing it more as art than entertainment.

You knew you had to play then. You begged Alfred to convince Bruce to give him a violin of your own- he did it without a second thought, not seeing a point to argue. You played in university, in tiny music halls and you were granted the opportunity to play in Gotham's Opera house. So you played, beautifully and fantastically. So much you ignored the blood dripping down your finger-tips, so much you ignored the gasps of the audience, fearful as the crimson of blood stained the strings of the violin. This was art, beautiful and painful.

You ended up in hospital naturally, but when you came back to the Wayne manor all had changed…

a/n : I do know this is a bit more boring but i like it a LOT! I kept imagining it to this song :

[ovrhaetedd]

Everything In Between

Chapter 2: Birthday Privileges

billie eilish x fem!oc

cw: anxiety, social anxiety, selective mutism (kind of), bullying (implied), touch aversion

wc: 1.8k

a/n: next few chapters r the same routines with subtle changes which change the way elena thinks and observes so sorry if its boring but its important

Elena's POV - Tuesday, January 10th 2017

Tuesday doesn't announce itself.

It slips in quietly.

The room feels colder than yesterday, or maybe I'm just more aware of my skin today. I stay under the covers longer than I should, counting breaths, listening to the house breathe back. Pipes ticking. A car passing outside. Someone closing a door down the hall. Each sound feels placed, intentional, like the world is lining itself up before I'm ready to step into it.

I wonder, briefly, what it would feel like to stay here. To let the day move on without me. The thought doesn't last. It never does.

I sit up eventually.

The floor is cold against my feet. I pause there, letting the shock settle before standing. My journal is already in my bag, tucked safely against my side pocket like something fragile. I packed it last night, like a precaution. Some days I don't trust myself to remember the things that make it easier to exist. Writing, drawing, leaving pieces of myself somewhere outside my head.

I pull on a sweater and linger in front of the mirror for half a second too long. I don't look at my face, just the way the fabric hangs, the way my shoulders slope inward like they're trying to protect something.

Breakfast is quieter than usual. The kitchen light hums faintly. The toaster clicks. Marcus isn't humming today, he's scrolling on his phone, thumb moving too fast across it like he's trying to outrun whatever's on the screen.

My mom pours coffee, passing one to me, and asks him something about practice. Her voice is gentle, still waking up. The smell of toast curls through the room, warm and familiar.

I wrap my hands around my mug and focus on the rim. The small chip on the edge. The heat seeping into my palms. It's grounding. It doesn't ask anything from me.

"Hey," Marcus says suddenly, still not looking up. "You're birthday's soon, Elena."

The sentence lands too casually. Like it's nothing. Like it doesn't rearrange something inside me.

I feel it anyway. Tightening. A small, sharp awareness spreading through my chest.

Mom turns toward him. "Oh, that's right. Next week."

I keep my eyes down. The coffee ripples slightly as my grip tightens.

"Sixteen," Marcus adds. "That's kind of a big one."

Big. The word presses in on me. Big means people. Big means attention. Big means expectations I don't know how to meet without breaking something.

My shoulders tighten without permission.

Mom watches me for a moment, noticing the way I've gone still. She softens her voice like she's smoothing a wrinkle out of the air. "We don't have to do much," she says. "Just dinner. Maybe a cake. I nod because nodding doesn't cost anything.

It doesn't mean yes. It doesn't mean no. It just means I'm still here.

And for now, that has to be enough.

By the time I get to school everything starts to move faster. Or maybe I do. The halls feel narrower, the ceilings lower, like the building decided overnight to test how much space a body actually needs. Lockers slam. Shoes scuff. Someone laughs too loudly right behind me and I tense before I can stop myself. My awareness feels stretched thin, pulled in too many directions at once, like everything is happening half an inch too close.

I keep my eyes forward and match my steps to Lara's without really thinking about it. She walks easily, like the hallway belongs to her, house keys swinging around her finger in a loose, lazy circle that catches the light every few seconds.

"So," she says, glancing over at me, casual but not careless, "your birthday's soon."

I stop for half a second, just long enough for the words to register, then keep walking. The pause feels loud, even if no one else notices it.

"Marcus told Jack, and Jack told Kya, and Kya told me," she adds quickly, the words tumbling over each other. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I say.

The words come out flatter than I mean them to, like they've been pressed thin from too much use. I don't look at her when I say it. I keep my gaze trained on the back of someone's backpack.

Kya grins from the other side, walking backward for a few steps before spinning around again. "Are you a cake person?"

I shrug. A small movement. Controlled. Noncommittal.

"That's not an answer," she says, still smiling, like this is a game we're playing.

I don't give her another one.

She waits a beat, then lets it go. They both do. They don't push, don't demand clarity, don't corner me with questions that feel like spotlights. Instead, they talk around it, cake flavours, someone's disastrous birthday last year, a joke that starts halfway through and never really needs context. The words float past me without ever really landing. I let them. It's easier to be adjacent than involved, easier to exist on the edge of the conversation where nothing sticks to me for too long.

English is predictable. The desks are in the same places. The board smells faintly of cleaner and chalk dust. I sit where I always do and let the room settle around me.

The teacher hands back essays one by one, calling names in a steady rhythm. When she gets to mine, she pauses for half a second longer than necessary.

"Elena."

I look up just long enough to take the paper.

There's a neat A at the top and a comment written too carefully in the margin, Insightful, as always.

As always.

The phrase prickles. Like she knows me. Like she's reached for something personal without asking.

I fold the paper immediately, crease sharp and deliberate, and slide it into my bag before anyone can look. I don't want congratulations. I don't want questions. I don't want the attention that comes with being noticed for the wrong reasons.

At lunch, the cafeteria is louder than usual, the noise bouncing off the walls in uneven waves. Trays clatter. Chairs scrape. Someone two tables over starts singing, off-key, loud, unstoppable.

"Happy birthday to you-"

I flinch without meaning to.

My body reacts before my thoughts can catch up, heart stuttering like it made a wrong turn, breath hitching in my chest. The song dissolves into laughter and clapping, but the sound lingers anyway, echoing somewhere inside me.

I stare down at my food until the world steadies again, reminding myself that it isn't for me.

Not yet.

Still, the day presses closer, leaning in whether I want it to or not.

After school I head to the park. It's much is busier today. Kids on bikes weave past each other, bells ringing too sharply. A couple argues near the path, their voices low but edged, like they're trying not to be heard and failing anyway. I take my usual bench anyway, turning my body slightly so I don't have to face anyone directly, angling myself toward the tree like it might act as a shield.

I open my journal but don't draw. My hand hesitates, then starts moving in a different way. I write lists instead of pictures. Random things. Objects. Colors. Words without context. Things that don't ask to be understood.

bench. leaves. cracked pavement. lue backpack. Noise.

It's easier this way. Lists don't judge. They don't ask why something matters.

I don't write birthday. I don't even get close. But the page feels shaped around it anyway, like everything I'm avoiding leaves an outline. Like there's a blank space in the middle of the paper that everything else bends around, careful not to touch.

When I get home, the house feels fuller than it should for a Tuesdsy.

Marcus' voice carries from the living room, overlapping with the familiar sound of his console booting up. Billie's there, I know before I see her. Her presence has weight. It changes the air, like someone opened a window without asking.

I pause in the doorway again. Long enough to breathe. Not long enough to disappear.

"There you are," Billie says when she notices me. She's leaning back on her hands, legs stretched out, casual like she belongs everywhere at once.

I nod. It's the safest response I have.

"Guess what?" she asks, already smiling.

I don't answer.

"It's your birthday next week."

Marcus grins. "Told you she'd find out."

Billie's eyes stay on me longer than they need to. Curious. Bright. Too focused, like she's trying to read something I haven't written down.

"Sixteen," she says. "That's huge."

I shrug, shoulders lifting and dropping in a way that feels practiced.

She squints. "You hate that word."

I don't confirm it, but I don't deny it either. Silence does the work for me.

"We should do something," she says immediately. "Not a big thing. Just... something."

"I don't-" I start, the sentence catching halfway up my throat, then dissolving before it can become real.

Billie smiles like she's already decided the end of the sentence for me. "Relax. I'll plan it."

"That's worse," Marcus says without looking away from the screen.

Billie kicks his ankle lightly. "Shut up."

Later, she finds me at the kitchen counter, flipping through my journal absently without really seeing the pages. I'm not readong, just grounding myself in the weight of it, the way the paper bends under my thumb. She leans against the opposite side of the counter this time, space between us, deliberate enough that I notice.

"Can I?" she asks, nodding at the journal.

I hesitate. The pause stretches. Then I slide it toward her, slow, like I might change my mind halfway.

She doesn't comment on the contents. She just flips to the next page and writes fast, messy. The page she writes on is the one i'd prepared for my entry tonight. She writes underneath the date and the countdown, Ideas spilling out without filtering. She doesn't ask whether I like them. She just fills the page like she's trying to prove something can exist without permission.

"Movie night," she reads aloud. "Art stuff. Music. We could keep it chill."

I stare at the page, at how full it already feels.

"Or," she adds, grin returning, "I could just embarrass you. That's always an option."

My mouth twitches despite myself. A traitor.

She notices. Of course she does.

"See?" she says. "You're excited."

I look away, heat crawling up my neck.

She tilts her head, softer now. "Do I get birthday privileges?"

My chest tightens, the words landing heavier than she means them to.

"Like what?" I ask quietly, surprised I manage sound at all.

She pretends to think, tapping the pen against her lip. "A hug."

The word sits between us. Solid. Unavoidable.

I don't answer. I don't move. I just shrug, small, almost invisible, like I could fold myself into the space between breaths.

Billie laughs softly. "I'll take that."

She doesn't touch me. The possibility lingers, unresolved.

That night, I sit on my bed with my lamp being the only source of light, journal open on my knees. Billie's handwriting takes up more space than mine. Bold. Confident. Certain. Like it doesn't know how to be careful.

I stare at it until it blurs, until they stop being words and start feeling like pressure.

People think birthdays are something you move toward.

To me, they feel like something standing still while I'm forced closer.

I close the journal.

Six days isn't long.

But it's long enough to feel trapped inside.

───────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────────

a/n: hi again, i posted this on wattpad too

taglist: @bilsluvbird @playfetchbabe @cmee1 @cookispark @g0ldwingedwildfl0w3r @b1lsblohsh @miloeilish @tinyumbrellaz @ilomilobabyy @overseasandhavingdreams @emi-inspace @sluttyangelgirll @bitches-broken-hearts @megansstrap

[massive-lesbian]

After the six post, i NEED to know what you think of Eight and Nine

excited to rant again thank you anon! :D

Eight is so forgotten by the writers and so generalised in the fandom.

He is more than the playful jester of the group, and he's more than his relationship with marina. He is a character who feels things very deeply, after Reynolds was murdered by mogadorians as a result of a Lola (The woman Reynolds fell inlove with) betrayed them and exposed them to the mogadorians, Eight was extremely reluctant to trust humans ever again. He becomes reluctant to trust not just humans, but even his own kind.

This is shown through him making Six, Marina, and Ella (Crayton also) different anonymous versions of himself to prove that they are who they say they are. But although he is extremely reluctant to trust anyone as soon as he realised Six, Marina, and Ella were who they said they were he revealed the details of his past with very little prompting. He shows extreme anxiety and fear towards the cave drawing precognition of is death to the point he vandalises it so that he doesn't have to face the depiction of his demise.

Again he is unfortunately very forgotten by the writers, and when he was finally mentioned it was for Marina's benefit and is made out to be the "only" way she could move on without anger (Kissing her as the entity and fading to energy in her arms). His kindness and selflessness is what gets him killed in an exact depiction of his greatest fear.

He was doomed from the start and his character is tarnished through poor writing choices and generalisations (pizza obsessed, extremely laid-back, unafraid, a prankster). He is more than just Marina's lover and he is more than just a laid-back jester.

I could go on... but I won't.

Moving onto Nine.

He's brash, he's reckless, he's flawed, and his mindset is a result of poor situation after poor situation.

His initial capture was the first thing. After being given a false sense of hope seeing Maddy and her parents reunited and then murdered infront of him by a piken. Maddy looks to him and screams for help while ther is nothing he can do in any realm of possibility.

After Sandor is caught too it gets even worse. They torture Sandor infront of him for nothing but their own amusement. There is no information that they want from Nine, the just want entertainment and choose to physically torture Sandor while mentally torturing Nine by making him watch. Eventually after Nine breaks out of the force field and gets to Sandor he tells Nine to kill him instead of fighting this pointless battle. Nine carries the unbearable weight of killing Sandor on his shoulders and he never gets over it.

Nine uses arrogance and sarcastic humour to put up a false front infront of the other Garde and allies. This is first fully shown when The Garde (except Five) all reunite in Dulce Base and he starts flirting with Six, after he sees the reaction it provokes he continuously pokes fun at everyone, almost bullying them (Specifically Five).

Despite his laid-back (almost Blasé) and arrogant front he truly does care for the Garde (again with the exception of Five). He worries about Ella and comforts her after reading Crayton's letter, he helps train Eight and Marina, he apologises to Sam for what happened in West Virginia.

You get the point I'm making, despite seeming uncaring and arrogant he truly does care for his friends and he feels their hurt deeply and he doesn't want bad to happen to them.

Of course my point could be contradicted easily by his behaviour towards Five. The bullying, the body shaming, the snarky comments, etc. and I fully understand that. Five is always going to be a traitor in his eyes. Five worked with the people who were the direct reason for all of his suffering. The mogs killed Maddy, and they tortured Sandor to the point Nine had to kill Sandor with his own hands. He would never be able to see past Five's affiliation with the Mogadorians. But before Five's relation to the Mogs was even revealed Nine was just being cruel for no reason. He always hated Five, and there was no real reason towards it. Five is an anomaly in his eyes for zero reason.

I could again, go on and on but I feel like that covers alot of my thoughts on Eight and Nine. :)

[liminalbeans]

So I'm impatient and have the writers itch, here's the rest of the WOEICS au/rewrite characters info. LENGTHY POST

The twins: Zack and Ivy. I know that in the original show, Zack was supposed to be a little younger than Ivy, but in my version they're actually fraternal twins! They're both 16, and under normal circumstances, kids their age would NOT be working at a place like acme, especially not as detectives. However, since their parents (who are never really shown, since they're always on missions, and are also implied not to be the greatest or most emotionally or physically present parents in the world) worked at ACME and the kids showed a LOT of interest in detective work, they're being trained as junior detectives.

Zack: Growing up, Zack had always faced a good deal of self-doubt and insecurity. Most of the boys his age in his neighborhood played some type of sport, be it soccer, wrestling, baseball, football, etc. Zack tried to get into sports, but because he has both mild Asthma and pretty severe Dyspraxia, playing sports was very difficult and unpleasant for him, and the thing is, he didn't actually LIKE sports. He just kept trying to get into them because a lot of the other kids were...not nice to him about it.

He felt like he had to "overcome his challenges" and improve himself, and didn't stop to think about what he was actually passionate about and what made him happy. However, ivy was always trying to get him to stop doing sports, since she saw how much he disliked it and also how hard it was on him physically, and eventually they had a big argument about it during which she screamed at him about it (out of tough love) and it finally got through to him.

So what is he actually passionate about? Digital stuff! Growing up he LOVED playing those little free flash games that were all over the Internet, and pretty quickly he got inspired to make his own small, simple games, as well as things like Minecraft mods, and it just went from there. His experience making those games also caused him to get into doing digital art, and he likes doing spritework and little animations and stuff like that. Once he got into it, he was so happy to finally have something that he was good at and felt at home doing.

As for his personality? Due to the bullying he endured as a kid, he tends to be quieter and a little more reserved around new people, but quickly opens up to them, and tends to be very trusting. He is a level 100 yapper and will talk for HOURS about whatever game or thing he's interested in (he's working on reading social cues and letting others talk tho).He also absolutely LOVES to generously sprinkle his speech with brainrot slang. At acme, he's the "tech guy", and knows how to use almost all of the programs and gadgets. He also sometimes helps draw the police sketches.

Ivy: Ivy also faced difficulties when she was growing up. For one, she would get in trouble pretty frequently at school, with notes getting sent home, but since her parents were not really present in her or Zack's life, nothing was really done about it besides them signing the note, briefly scolding her (sometimes, if they had time) and then going off to do something else. Now, Ivy loved learning. She was interested in the topics at school, she liked her classmates, and she liked most of her teachers. So, why was she getting in trouble so often?

Well, for one, she was almost PHYSICALLY incapable of sitting still or doing the same task for longer than like...20 minutes. It wasn't that she didn't like it or got bored, she just needed to alternate tasks and positions or else she would genuinely start to feel itchy and uncomfortable. She also often did not turn in her homework, not because she was lazy, she always had some complex project going that she would run to as soon as she got home from school, but because the moment she put it in her backpack, or near her desk, or anywhere out of sight, it was out of mind. Gone. Wiped from her memory until the teacher asked for it the next day.

Now, at the time, ivy didn't know why she was like this. She did eventually get an ADHD diagnosis, but it wasn't until several years later. At the time, she was constantly frustrated and angry at herself because she couldn't stop "being stupid" and couldn't "act normal". Once, she got so upset about this that she went outside and had a meltdown, storming around the yard, kicking rocks, stomping her feet, punching the air, etc. But after the meltdown, she realized how much... better the physical activity had made her feel. It helped her release some of the tension that was constantly present in her brain. And this gave her an idea. She stopped studying at a desk. Instead, she would jog in a circle, shoot hoops, kick a ball, do push ups, etc, while either repeating the information she needed to memorize to herself or having Zack quiz her. And it worked WONDERS. her grades improved, and, seeing this and being determined to help her, her teacher actually got her one of those bouncy ball chair things that you can bounce/rock back and forth in while sitting, as well as allowing her an extra bathroom break to just walk down the hallway and decompress a bit.

As for her personality? She can be a little blunt, since she's not the best and thinking before she speaks, but she never really means any harm with it. She also still loves physical activity, working out, and just in general doesn't like standing still. During briefings and investigations, she will often get up and pace around. She also plays ZERO games when it comes to anyone disrespecting her brother, since she often had to stand up for him when he was getting bullied as a little kid.

Carmen: Carmen was always a bit of a wild child. When she was a toddler/preschooler, her parents had to put a child harness and leash on her because she just would NOT stop running away (yes, Carmen was a leash kid, honestly not surprising). She never really meant to be disobedient (okay, maybe she did a little) she was just intensely curious about everything around her and was a massive sensory seeker. If there was anything cool anywhere within her range of vision, she would make it her life's mission to touch it. She wasn't any calmer as an elementary schooler, and she faced a lot of the same issues that ivy faced (hmm wonder why) and teachers could tell she was smart, and she would fixate on topics she was interested in for MONTHS, but if something was not interesting to her, she would not go near it.

unfortunately, when she was 12 years old, she was in the car with her parents when they got hit by a drunk driver. She survived, (however, she did sustain some head trauma that caused her to develop a migraine disorder) but her parents did not. She had no other relatives that could take care of her, so she ended up in an orphanage.

Fortunately, she ended up getting adopted after not too long. Unfortunately, the woman who adopted her kind of sucked. She was the type of woman to call herself a "mommy influencer" and color code everything in the house, including her children. And by color code, I mean make everything beige. Carmen was her only kid, and even though the woman wasn't terrible to her or anything, they never really got along and Carmen never really saw her as a mom, or even a mother figure, and Carmen suspected that she had mostly just been adopted to try and fill some void in this woman's life. She didn't like that, but it didn't bother her too much after a while. When she lived with her, Carmen went to a private school and just basically bided her time until she could be 18 and move out. And when she did move out, she got a pleasant surprise.

Turns out that her parents had actually left her a decent sum of inheritance, which she used to go to college. However, halfway through her freshman year, when she had not declared a major yet and was just taking general classes, she realized something: she had NO idea what she wanted to do with her life. Who she wanted to be. She'd been in survival mode for so long that she hadn't really had time to think about it. Thankfully for her, she actually ended up getting scouted by acme due to her intelligence and talent, and when she stepped into the world of forensic science, she was HOOKED.

she loved it. The mystique. The mystery. The challenge. The way you never knew what would happen next. And damn, was she good at it. But after a while, it just... wasn't enough for her. She felt empty, hollow, like this wasn't the right path for her, like she wanted something else, something more. And one day, she figured out what it was. She was killing time in the ACME Rec Room, which had a small shelf of books people could borrow and read. She picked a book at random and started reading it. Now, what was the book she happened to pick up? The Arrest Of Arsene Lupin, by Maurice Leblanc. Yep, you can see where this is going. She did not move from that spot until she had finished the whole book. And when she did, she set it back onto she shelf and silently walked to her room. She knew what she needed to do. And even though she had made a few friends at acme, and it would be sad to not be working alongside them anymore, she knew that this was most certainly not the last time she would be seeing them.

Julia "jules" Argent: jules was raised by a single father, a man who worked as a local detective in a town near the ACME base. He was a good man, and tried to do right by her, but his tough life definitely had an effect on him, and he valued strength and resilience above most else. He felt that being tough, jaded, and reserved was the only way that one could stay safe in the world, and all he wanted was for his baby girl to stay safe. He enrolled her in a lot of self defense classes and always warned her against letting people get too close to her, both physically and mentally. And jules took that to heart. Mostly.

Until Carmen.

She didn't know what it was about this woman, but she just... brought something out in her, something she thought she had successfully buried so deep that no one would find it, something raw, something vulnerable, something human. They grew close, working on missions and cases together, sharing tea and stories in the break room on cold afternoons, and allowing themselves to bask in something that neither of them thought they would ever get to feel. Jules remembered sitting by the break room fireplace with Carmen after her first day on the job. When Carmen turned to look at her, the fire next to them crackling and bouncing its light off the corners of the room, jules could see the faint reflection of the light in Carmen's eyes, flickering, burning. Somehow, just for a moment, the light reflected in her eyes seemed to glow brighter than the fire itself.

With that being said, you would think that jules would be furious when Carmen essentially did a face heel turn and became not just a thief, but the most skilled, brazen, audacious thief they'd encountered in, well, ever. And she had expected to be furious. But she wasn't. She was shocked, she was confused, and she was a little afraid, but...she wasn't angry. And she didn't understand why. She wouldn't allow herself to understand why. But the truth is, deep down, she had noticed that during the last month of Carmen's employment at acme, she hadn't been the same. She was bored. Distant. Listless. She'd just lost that... something that she had when they first met. But when she saw Carmen's face grinning at her through the screen on that news broadcast, when she saw that picture of her that they were plastering on every website, newspaper, and news channel, trying to make everyone aware of the dangerous criminal that has been loosed onto their world, jules couldn't help but crack a nearly unconscious smile. Because, even though the fire in the break room hadn't been lit in a while, and the room was bathed in darkness, save for the glow of the TV, she could have sworn, no, scratch that, she KNEW that she saw that familiar flicker in her old friend's eyes.

Chase devinaux: so, this is going to be the shortest of the character descriptions, simply because I don't really know many character details about this guy. he's supposed to mainly be based on the computer game version, and besides him previously working with Carmen, we don't get much in the way of characterization for him during the games. So I'm gonna take creative liberty here. He is Julia's friend and main detective partner since Carmen left, but, unlike the 2019 reboot version, he actually respects her, treats her as an equal, and listens to her ideas. However, that doesn't mean he's perfect. He tends to be a bit rash and impulsive, character traits that stem from his lack of self esteem and constant need to prove himself to everyone around him. He's also more paranoid than jules, and she does sometimes have to reel him in. Honestly, a lot of the time they sort of have a "platonic Mulder and Scully" type of relationship going on. Which also inspired me to give chase a slightly goofier character trait: he is a STAUNCH believer in the paranormal/supernatural. Mothman. Bigfoot. Aliens. Ghosts. What have you. He just KNOWS they're out there somewhere, even if jules didn't believe him.

Annnd that's all the main characters!

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

Writing Therapy

This is will be a guide for you to overcome anxieties, be more courageous, and optimistic. Writing is one of the beautiful ways to express our emotions and have a conversation with ourselves.

Write it down

Take a blank sheet of paper and write down how you feel now. This is not an essay, you should not be concerned about the words. Your thoughts should flow and all you need to do is write out out as it comes out. This can happen at any moment, don’t set a time or a schedule for it.

Weekly letters

Write a letter to yourself every week. I do this and it helps me a lot. Every week I reflect on the previous week and my expectations for the next week. I write my highlights and my low moments and it is such a beautiful emotion to capture. After a while, you will open these letters and reflect on how things changed or lessons you’ve learned.

Confront your inner child/ past

Use writing to confront your inner child. You will have to write like a kindergarten. Don’t overthink it, don’t make it perfect, add some drawings. Sometimes I draw a trash can and write everything habit I needs to get rid off in it. Try to recollect memories of things you were once bad at or good at. Writing isn’t just about following prompts sometimes you’d have to write about something related to you, that only you have experienced. For example:

I remember when I first got my braces, I looked awkward, it’s amazing how much my looks have changed…

I remember when I was 10 and this golden retriever chased me…

My mom didn’t let me go to sleep overs when I was 8, I wonder what it would have felt like…

I first experience bulling in 8th grade, Jessica was really a mean girl, I wonder if bullies eventually change…

I used to be the most popular girl in high school, but in college I feel so overlooked. It’s crazy how things change.

I don’t like how I look in pictures now, I don’t know if it’s just my eyes,

I used to like baking, why did I stop, when did I stop?…

I was mean to the pizza guy, I feel so bad, it was wrong timing, is it possible for the universe to send apologizes on our behalves?…

Be in the present

Being in the present means acknowledging your feelings, processing your emotions as they occur, expressing yourself, being your own cheer leader, and support system.

What was the highlight of my day?

What would I have changed?

What did I procrastinate on?

What am I looking forward to?

What am I grateful for?

Am I better than I was yesterday?

What did I learn today?

Why was I sad/happy?

An optimistic approach

Writing in an optimistic tone will keep you motivated. It will give you the hope you need. You are looking forward to an event, a proposal, an opportunity, or a moment. Optimism gives you enthusiasm to chase your dreams. Examples of writing with optimism includes.

I am looking forward to a great week because…

I can’t wait for Christmas, there’s just so much to celebrate…

I see myself being a successful women even though I’m not sure of my passion…

In the next five years, I want to travel to every state in America.

It only gets better…

Oh, I can’t wait for fall and all the peace it brings…

I’ll be 24 soon, there’s so much to reflect on…

Confronting the elephant in the room

This will be the difficult part of the writing because you will have to be honest with yourself, it’s tough love here, and you’ll have to hold yourself accountable. Here are prompts that can help:

Are you sure you want to accomplish your goals?

Why do you want a change in your life, if you are not willing to improve?

When was the last time to made a to-do list and followed through?

Have you read a book since the last month?

What is your excuse for not doing your self-care routine?

Do you trust yourself?

What have you started but you’re yet to complete?

I’d love to start a writing therapy class, it will be so interesting :)

With love,

Black Pearl

[rosekillerismylife]

I'm a bit in a twist, because I just saw a post about how awful James Potter is (also compared to Severus Snape) and the person who wrote the post is kind of right. And now I don't know what to think.

First of all, I'd like to say that everyone in this fandom has an own opinion and is even required to have one and they really should be able to express their own opinion which means that they can like or dislike whatever character they want. I do not mean to change your opinion, it just occurred to me that the owner of the post that inspired this rant really had a point and I had to get some things of my chest, so please be aware of that. This is just me being confused. Just skip it if you want.

Now, to the rant. Severus Snape did some horrible things like insulting Lily Evans, treating Harry Potter badly (JKR explained why and it might make sense but that's also an arguable point), partly trusting in Voldemort (and in Dumbledore which both is concerning) or being fascinated with the Dark Arts (probably not really a problem if he weren't in Slytherin and if it wasn't in the middle of a war) but the Marauders harassed him and bullied him which is also horrible. And if we accept that Potter bullied Snape and encourage it, doesn't it mean that we have to accept Snape's bullying too? Because I don't think there's a difference. The Marauders harassed Snape, humiliated him and called him Sniffelus. Snape called Lily a mudblood (and I recall it being only a onetime thing? Please correct me if I'm wrong), he was a Slytherin and he supported the Dark Lord (which meant that he had to, at some point, harass other students too, due to peer pressure or free will, it had to happen eventually).

It is also questionable why they would bully him. Did they only bully Snape because he insulted Lily or was there more? Did Snape offend one of them personally or was there any specific reason other than him being a Slytherin and seen as a soon-to-be Death Eater? Was the only reason to bully him that he insulted Lily? Potter was in love with Lily, sure, but Lily could've defended herself, right? And as fellow Gryffindors and his best friends, it shows loyalty that Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black helped Potter but other than Lupin being close friends with Lily, the others hadn't had a close relationship (at least in canon) with her, so other than being loyal to their house and kicking the ass of a Slytherin (I don't really know if just metaphorically or if punching him was really a thing), there was nothing for them in it which is morally debatable.

Maybe they are equal to each other because they don't really differ from each other. I mean, objectively seen. The both of them are bullies, even if Snape's words maybe hurt more than Potter's, it makes them still a bully. And seen as they may be equal, they don't deserve a different treatment, right?

And that's exactly the point where I struggle because years ago when I read Harry Potter, I thought of Snape as a decent character (maybe younger me wanted to be different (main character) because everyone hated Snape) and then I entered the Marauders fandom and realized what Snape did (mainly he is seen as Lily's insulter, I think?). The fact that Potter made his life a living hell with the help of his friends (of whom at least two where unrelated to the actual issue) and displayed also an awful bully slipped my mind. It's just so confusing where you draw the line between good and bad or black and white, you know?

Maybe Potter and Snape are both morally grey characters because they both did good things but also bad things? Realistically, not every villain is born as a villain. There are many factors that influence the behaviour of a person for example how the person is treated in their childhood by parents or friends, how they grow up or by what people they are surrounded which makes every human being a morally grey character because no one can be only bad or only good. What I'm trying to say is that it depends on which part of a person you consult to judge them. There can never be a definite decision on a person because there's rarely someone that counts as only good or only bad because there sure are things in the past that weren't exactly good or specifically bad. Also, everyone sees a person differently because they met a different part of this certain person.

I'm not trying to find an excuse for what Voldemort or Darth Vader or Hitler or Queen Victoria or any other villain/head of state/dictator (fictional or not) did because there definitely is no excuse for any of it. But I'm only trying to explain the Potter-Snape-dynamic a little.

All I'm saying is that we can't praise the Marauders as high as we do and forget that they insulted Snape as well as Snape insulted Lily. Maybe not as hurtful but I think being called a hurtful nickname comes close to being insulted as a mudblood. Both is bullying and there is simply no excuse for a thing like that.

Anyway, I am not saying that Snape is the ultimate villain of the story and that he should go to hell or that the Marauders are all trash and should be convicted guilty for everything they did to Snape. Just remember that not all that glitters is gold. Humans have many facettes and no matter how well you know them, you probably will never see all of them. It's the same with fictional characters. Everyone is a grey zone and can't be all black or all white.

However, I am up for questions or a discussion or answers regarding this topic. Again, you can point out anything that I got wrong because maybe this helps me to resolve the confusion I'm in right now.

[lu-dao-writes]

❝[𝓜𝔂 𝓑𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼 (𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)]❞

【𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎】: You fell in love with your two best friends. Ain’t that funny?

【𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔(𝓈)】: Hurt no comfort, very mild sexual content, racism, bullying, no beta, maybe bad grammar?

【𝒜/𝒩】: Back with another post!! Super proud of myself for getting it finished soon too! Reader is blasian and gender neutral and I hope you enjoy! Let me know if you see any mistakes, and feedback is always appreciated! (Edited on 06:13/2022)

【𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓈】: @ofblckwriters

At first it was Kojiro.

When you first met him, you were in middle school, and he had saved you from some nasty kids who had cornered you in the hallway. They were pulling and messing with your hair, pointing out and comparing your obvious differences, and even called you all sorts of terrible things like an ugly duckling, a fish, and of course a monkey. 

But before a possible alteration could break out, Kojiro came in and saved you, threatening them with a beating if they continued harassing you. After that the green haired boy had you stick close to him. 

You shared quite a bit of classes with him, and he was pretty well liked, very bold and friendly and passionate. You also frequently saw him with another boy who had pink hair. They were… Well, you sometimes couldn’t tell. They fought like cats and dogs but also stuck together like glue. You being reversed and still new to your new surroundings, never really bothered to try and get acquainted with them. 

But anyways.  

After getting used to Kojiro’s open friendliness, you found that he understood you to an extent. He too is biracial, half Japanese and half Italian, and although he understood his experiences won't exactly compare to yours he understood, and that enough made you feel a little less alone. 

You inquired about his friend, Kaoru, and the green haired boy told you that his best friend slash enemy was at home sick.

You were wary about immediately trusting people, but Kojiro made it so hard for you. It was mostly because he was so nice and charming. And because he was pretty… 

Damn your heart amirite?

For the next two days you grew close fast, Kojiro already claiming you as his second best friend, and on that Monday you met his first best friend… And enemy…?

Kaoru Sakurayashiki.

You were intimidated for sure. That last name came from a rich background, and you were a bit wary of rich folk, so you were a bit standoffish with the pink haired boy, and it didn’t help that Kaoru was a bit rude towards you.

You noticed how clingy and possessive he was toward Kojiro, and his bluntness and fierce glare intimidated you. For a moment you felt like you wouldn’t be friends, but on that fateful day you two were assigned a project together.

Thankfully you actually got your work done, and you’re not sure how the hell it happened but you both talked eventually (after a bit of awful and awkward silence of course). 

You talked normally and found each other's company to be not so bad. You both enjoyed art and had your own forms you specifically enjoyed, yours being dance, writing, and occasionally trying a hand at music- mostly making lyrics- while Kaoru was into drawing and also writing. You both also enjoyed dabbling into philosophy, and both have anxiety. 

After opening up, Kaoru had formally apologized to you for his previous behavior and explained that he was just scared of Kojiro leaving him behind. 

“But that’s still not an excuse to be so mean to you. I will work on that behavior and make sure not do it again. I hope you will forgive me (Y/N). I really want us to be friends,” he apologies with a nervous look.

And you forgave him of course after seeing how genuine he truly was.

Kojiro was excited that you two were friendly and got along together (and good god your poor heart stuttered at his huge, bright grin), and then the three of you became a close knitted trio. 

You didn’t bother with your feelings, more focused on your family, friendship, and studies, and you wanted it to stay that way even when you realized you liked Kaoru the same way you like Kojiro. 

You actually got extremely confused about that because was it normal for someone to like two people at the same time?? Well, after reading Twilight and consuming other media you relaxed on it and continued consulting with your journal.

Then comes the time you upgraded to high schoolers… Bless your heart, both boys seemingly grew up overnight and were looking very handsome, and it stunned you. But that's not all that changed. 

Kojiro grew to be more of a flirt and Kaoru, well he was hardcore hitting a rebellious stage. Gone was his usual sophisticated look and in was the more edgy but very fashionable look he adopted eagerly. His piercings and suaveness made you flustered, and Kojiro’s flirts and growing muscles nearly stopped your heart. 

And their voices… 

But besides changes with them physically, they began to pick up skateboarding and grew a bit of an audience at school. Many times you’ve seen and heard them getting written or verbal love confessions or fan support. For Kojiro it stroked his growing ego, for Kaoru it was partially the same but he was also indifferent to them.

“A nice confidence booster, but I’m not interested.”

“That’s why you’re painfully single, Pinky~.”

“Are you saying you’re taken then??” Kaoru gripes, glaring at the green haired teen.

Kojiro just gives a playful shrug, staring pointedly at Kaoru with a grin threatening to split his face.

“Kaoru, with how big his head is getting and it not showing signs of deflating anytime soon, I’m sure he’ll remain bitchless,” you say matter of factly, a small smirk on your face.

Your comment pulls a loud laugh outta the pinkette and the green haired himbo was choking and sputtering nonsense.

Although you acted cool about it in the outside, you were scared of losing them. You really wanted to be with them, but ain’t no way you wanted to tell them about your feelings. You were scared they’d think you’re too freaky and leave, or worse that the confession will ruin your friendship and make things awkward between you. 

So you kept your mouth shut and continued to only fantasize throughout the years.

Adam, another rich boy who joined your group, found out about your crush on Kojiro and Kaoru, and you were mortified and wondered just how obvious you were being. All he told you was just that you’d zone out at times and he pieced together some things in your writing pieces you let him see. He’d sometimes tease you about it, but ultimately he promised to never tell a soul about your feelings, and you were grateful for it.

All was pretty much great, but it changed on that fateful day… 

~On Valentine’s Day.~

You were looking for Kaoru and Kojiro that chilly school morning, trying to give them their gifts- something you did yearly on February 14th so that being single wasn’t always painful. After searching the campus grounds and checking the group chat, you headed to the rooftop spot, a place you hung out often at for lunch or when you wanted to skip class. You found the door slightly ajar and when you pushed it a bit you were confronted with the sight of your two best friends who were in a startling intimate position. 

Kaoru was straddled in Kojiro’s lap, pale fingers tangled in short green hair while tan, sunkissed hands held Kaoru’s ass and his luscious pink hair as they swapped spit together. They were so caught up in each other they hadn’t noticed you at all, thankfully enough. You bolted once you broke out of your trance, not caring if the door slammed since you booked it the fuck outta there and knew they wouldn’t catch to see who had caught them. Your heart was beating like a damn racehorse in your ears and your eyes were burning like acid.

You hid in the bathroom, catching your breath and trying to make sense of what happened. Your best friends were definitely more than just friends… They looked so.. Intimate. But maybe it could have just been pure lust…?

Nah, your gut tells you it’s something more. Something romantic. 

You ended up crying into your hands, crying and laughing with disbelief, and felt terrible for crying. Of course you’re not disgusted by them being together.

No. You just selfishly wish you were involved too… Your heart is hurting but you’re also happy for them and hope that they’re happy.

It’s not long before the two are blowing up the group chat asking about where you were and talking about their morning, and you put on your brave face, washing your eyes until the redness is mostly gone before meeting your gang of friends at your other usual meeting spot.

And you sincerely hope they don’t see, feel, or even smell the sad bitch energy that radiated off from you.

“Hey, there you are!” Kojiro calls out cheerfully as he spots you coming over, ruby eyes sparkling.

Kaoru, who was checking on his lip piercing on his phone (you highly doubted that's what he was actually doing), perks up and gives you a collected smile while Adam gives you a simple smile and wave.

“And you got our gifts!” the green haired teen adds, his excitement growing.

“Yeah…,” you reply softly before handing over your gifts to the three. Kojiro got a heart shaped box of assorted chocolates, Kaoru got a small stuffed bear with two chocolate roses, and lastly Adam got a pretty decent sized heart shaped chocolate. You in turn were given expensive chocolates by Kaoru, a bag of hot lime flavored cheetos, along with a Cantu package and a new pretty bonnet from Kojiro, and your favorite flowers with more chocolates from Adam.

“Thanks so much, (Y/N),” Kaoru says sweetly, looking at the bear in his hands with fondness, and you give him a smile and nod.

“Now you got two,” Kojiro teases the pinkette, causing his eyes to briefly widen.

“Two?” Adam inquires lightly, tilting his head a bit while he tries opening the boxed up chocolate. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, already having an idea of what Kojiro means.

The green haired teen pulls the pinkette roughly into a side hug, grinning. “I got Pinkey over here a bear that was made to look like me! Now he can hug it and never feel alone or miss me!”

Adam laughs and you do your best to make yours believable while Kaoru has a blush on his cheeks, looking irritated. 

“Yes..  And I hate it.”

You know he’s lying. You’re sure that Kaoru absolutely loves it and will cherish it forever and ever. It’s so fucking romantic and cute, but fuck does it hurt at the same.

“Keep telling yourself that!” Kojiro replies before ruffling Kaoru's hair and pushing him away roughly, causing a playful fight to break out between them.

Boy was it going to be hard to keep yourself together, but you were going to be happy for the two and hope your feelings die down.