Happened so often to me. Would tell my parents things & my stepfather always would turn things into me being the problem. From being bullied to actually being beaten up by another kid.. I was told I was too soft or I was pathetic cos I let it happen. Other things that I don’t want to go in to details about.. but more sensitive issues.. still my fault or I got laughed at. I can’t begin to tell you how damaging this was, well I realise now especially. I was never listened to.. my fears & feelings were never validated.. I felt totally worthless & humiliated & ashamed . I did learn to keep things to myself & try & deal with it, crying in my room, having nightmares & being scared of my own shadow ..with no emotional support, this has made me grow into the anxious & fear ridden adult. Fear of what people think of me, fear of what they believed about all the garbage that my stepfather made up about me after I left home at 18, he told some horrific lies all through my adult life. All instilled in the damaged little girl that I’m trying to find & reparent.
My role as a parent I saw as a huge gift. I was only blessed with one child, but I was determined my child would never ever feel the fear & isolation I felt all through my childhood, they would feel & be told how loved & amazing they are. They would be heard & encouraged to discuss problems no matter how big or small they thought they were. I would support her no matter what, as I know the mental torture to not be supported or validated. I put a stop to the cycle, it ended with me, only now am I seeing that was actually the most powerful thing I have done.