A Small Matter - Malleus
Author Notes: Fun fact, I'd completely forgotten that I'd written this. I only rediscovered it this past Wednesday and realized I really wanted to get this fic posted before book 7.5 comes out for the Japanese server. As per usual, reader is gender neutral. I hope you enjoy!
Type: Gender-neutral reader/ sfw/ fluff/ light angst/ comfort/ romance implied but can be platonic
Word Count: 1529
Crowley’s words had hit hard: “You may leave using the mirror but, you will never be able to return. And after that, you will be forever bound to your world.”
He’d spoken with an uncommon amount of seriousness, which made it all far worse. I’d made a home here, but I also had a home back in my world. A family who cared for me and probably worried about me. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered: What did they think?
Did they believe I was dead? Had I just disappeared suddenly, without warning, from my home, or had I been entirely wiped from existence in my world? Did they even remember me?
Such were the thoughts that now filled my mind, haunting both me and my decision. Because a decision had to be made. I couldn’t stay in an eternal limbo of neither here nor there. Did I want to stay, or did I want to go? Perhaps such swirling, turbulent thoughts were what had led me out of Ramshackle dorm to wander around in the deteriorating forest just beyond the graveyard outside my home in this world.
My home in this world… Was it even stable? I’d been staying here as a student, but what about when I graduated? Where would I go then? I couldn’t live indefinitely here at the school. Crowley would never allow it, but I also doubted that he would be willing to assist me in finding my way. Unless, perhaps, I decided to work for the school in exchange for room and board. Which was an option.
I could rely on my friends too, but that felt wrong. Especially considering the fact that they’d already helped me so much.
But avoiding either of those options would leave me struggling to find my way in an unfamiliar world. And that was only if I decided to stay here.
But going back could be equally problematic. Because what if everyone back home really did think I was dead? My return would come as quite a shock, and how would I explain my disappearance? It wasn’t like they’d easily believe that I’d been magically transported to another world, and I didn’t want to go home just to get locked up in an insane asylum. But I had no proof that this place even existed that I would be able to show them. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to bring back anything with me anyway….
I let out a frustrated groan, flopping down at the base of a tree and leaning my head back. None of the options that readily presented themselves seemed right.
I wanted to keep my friends and my family and to have the best of both worlds. But even I knew that was impossible. I, unfortunately, couldn’t have my cake and eat it too.
I closed my eyes, willing the answer to my questions to come to me, but my mind remained a tangled web of troublesome options and potential problems.
Suddenly overblots seemed a lot less frustrating. At least with them the path was clear….
There was a rustling sound, and I heard a familiar hum. I opened my eyes to see bright, almost poisonously green eyes looking down at me with a thoughtful, concerned gaze. Malleus. “Child of man… You seem troubled.”
His words, ever calm, brought a wry smile to my face, but I nodded. Not bothering to deny his words when they were all too true, “I am. I don’t know what to do, Hornton…..”
I trailed off, wanting to complain but knowing full well that he couldn’t help me. This was a decision I had to make for myself. No one could help me.
“You’re thinking about going home?” It was almost impressive that he knew exactly what was bothering me, though I supposed it wasn’t that difficult to guess. And I didn’t miss the sorrow that appeared in his eyes at the thought of my leaving.
It was a small comfort that he would miss me if I did leave, but it also complicated matters. I didn’t want to hurt him or anyone else. It would be easier if my decision didn’t matter to anyone but me, but that was quite obviously not the case.
Because if he was going to miss me, then that invited the possibility that others would as well.
“I’m trying to decide what I should do. Stay here or go home,” I clarified, causing his eyes to go comically wide.
“You’re unsure? I had thought….” He trailed off, but I could fill in the blanks. He’d thought I’d simply leave and that would be that.
I smiled slightly before patting the ground beside me, gesturing for him to sit, which, with the delight of a small child, he did.
Sebek would no doubt be furious if he saw his grand lord sitting in the dirt at the base of a mossy tree. A thought which brought a more genuine smile to my face even as I shook my head at Malleus fondly, “It isn’t that simple, Hornton.”
I leaned over, resting my head against his shoulder as I spoke, “If I leave, I’ll never get to see you or anyone else important to me here again. But if I stay, I’ll never see my family again….”
I trailed off as Malleus hummed his response, and silence seemed to fall around us as my mind continued to swirl with the varying possibilities, as I pondered what the right choice might be. And honestly, it really felt like there were too many influencing factors to juggle. Because there wasn’t a single choice that I didn’t think I wouldn’t regret at least a little bit.
I laughed quietly, an alarmingly bitter sound, “I don't even know what has happened in my world…. Did I just disappear without a trace, or was I entirely erased from that world, memory and all?”
He stayed silent, letting me lay my thoughts out in a jumbled pile for both of us to inspect.
“If I do stay, what will that mean? I can’t just live at Ramshackle dorm indefinitely, but I have no way to make it in this world…. None of my options seem right, and I can’t seem to just wholly give myself over to here or there either.”
I sighed, closing my eyes once more and willing myself to remain calm despite my turbulent emotions, “I just don’t know anymore….”
Malleus remained silent, wrapping his arm around me and rubbing his gloved hand comfortingly along my arm that was furthest from him.
“I can’t answer all of your questions, Child of man, but if you are concerned about where you would stay should you choose to remain in this world…. that I can assist you with.”
My eyes popped ,and I leaned back to look up at him, my eyes wide, “What?”
He smiled, half-amused by my reaction as he looked down at me with an almost playful tilt of his head, “It would be a small matter for you to come and live in Briar Valley with me.”
I blinked up at him, both touched and startled. “Hornton, I… But that….” I fumbled, not entirely sure what to say when he’d solved one of my issues with such ease.
He laughed, an easy sound that was at odds with the tone of our previous conversation, “You wouldn’t be intruding at all; think of it as a gift from me.”
His eyes narrowed, obviously pleased with himself as he smiled down at me. Weirdly smug about this new gift he’d come up with.
His glance was soon cast down at my hands, though, as he took one of them into his own, “Now you only need to choose. Go home, return to your family, and leave all of us here or….”
He paused, looking up at me with a smile that told me he knew how I would respond even as he continued, “Come with me and stay by my side…. What would you like, Y/n?”
I felt myself smile slightly at his sudden use of my name rather than his usual ‘child of man.’ A small sign that he was, in fact, wheedling just a little bit.
It was strange, though, that with his support paired with the knowledge that he would stay by my side, I suddenly knew what I wanted. A small part of me felt ashamed; it was like I couldn’t make my decision on my own and needed his guidance.
Leaving my family for good, though… Could I do that? I met his gaze, a smile working its way onto my face as I did so. As if I even had to ask myself that question. No one could live with their parents forever… And I’d found someone who I wanted to stay with, and they’d even accepted me without me ever having to ask.
“I think living in a palace for the rest of my life sounds rather nice, don’t you think?”
He chuckled at my words, wrapping his arm back around me and pulling me up against his side, “Indeed it does.”
