steve: i think i'm coming down with something, i've been feeling nauseous lately
robin: maybe you're pregnant
steve:
robin:
steve: i don't know who's the bigger idiot right now, you because you suggested it, or me, because i just had a heart attack

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steve: i think i'm coming down with something, i've been feeling nauseous lately
robin: maybe you're pregnant
steve:
robin:
steve: i don't know who's the bigger idiot right now, you because you suggested it, or me, because i just had a heart attack
steve: do you know how I broke up with jonathan so that I could start dating eddie?
robin: absolutely, and it was really hard for you.
steve: yeah, that actually never happened.
robin: what do you mean?
steve: I'm still dating jonathan.
robin: what do you mean?
steve: I'm dating both of them, and neither one of them knows it, and I feel terrible about it.
robin: but jonathan and you are done. What do you mean?
steve: - we're not done.
robin: so you broke up with eddie?
steve: - I didn't break up with either one of them.
robin: what do you mean?
steve: you process this however you need to process it. If you want to keep talking it out -
robin: which one are you dating?
steve: - both.
robin: are you dating eddie?
steve: -I'm dating eddie.
robin: are you dating jonathan?
steve: - yes.
robin: how do you do that?
steve: - they made me choose!
robin: you have to choose. you can't have both!
steve: what was I supposed to do?
robin: what, you think you can have a bunch of boyfriends?! you got one boyfriend! this is the way the world works!
steve: - why?!
robin: - I don't know!
robin: if i die during the operation, will you do one thing for me?
steve: anything, rob
robin: blow up the hospital
steve, with no hesitation: done
I think it would be really funny if Steve thought he had made it obvious that he liked Jonathan when he was talking to robin, but not actually coming out.
EX:
Steve: Jonathan looks reallllly cute with that sweater on, I wonder how soft it is.
Robin: Steve, quit
Steve: What, I'm not even making fun of him! I just think that he looks hot?!
Robin: what??
Steve: I thought it was obvious!!
Robin: No! I thought you were still fighting with Jonathan over Nance!
Steve: I told you! When we were at the family video still!
Robin: No, you didn't Steve!
Steve: What did you think I meant when I was talking about all those hot actors?!
Robin: I don't know, I just thought it was a weird masculinity thing!
learning how to become fluent in pet names with the girls
Steve: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*
Robin: Hey, Steve, how was your day?
Steve: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Robin* Hell.
Eddie, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?
Robin: You and Eddie would make such a cute couple!
Steve: Eddie doesn't have a life plan. He doesn't have a day plan. I once found a note he wrote to himself that said "Put on pants" followed by a question mark. That means it read, "Put on pants?"
Robin: So?
Steve: Also, he throws pizza at seagulls… which I guess is kind of nice because he's trying to feed them.
This really happened