#incorrect svsss

[deikshen]

Shen Qingqiu: *floridly insulting Shang Qinghua, describing the tortures he will do to him and how he will probably mutilate him genitally*

Shang Qinghua: *responds to insults and threats by cringing, crying more, accepting the fan blows, laughing nervously, crying more and being more pathetic*

Mobei Jun: Junshang, with all due respect, your husband is flirting with my husband.

Luo Binghe: Without any respect, your husband is flirting with mine and very shamelessly.

[xiansnuts]

Luo Binghe: do you ever wish you were a bird that hurt its wing by flying into Shizun's bedroom window and he'd come outside and gently fix your wing with his big hands and feed you worms.

Ning Yingying: what the fuck

[cranberryattack]

svsss cast on “why did you go to hell”

LBG: *pulls out a long, long list of war crimes*

LBH: stalked his crush and they went down here

Og!SQH: idk man last thing I remember is waking up with a headache (he had a crashout. It was bad.)

NYY: this and that and one (1) instance of murder

SQH/XF: someone paid god 20 dollars

SY: paid god 20 dollars to send someone to hell and that’s his crime

MBJ: *shrugs*

SJ: *cycle of abuse flashbacks like the soldier meme* I blame Qiu Jianluo

MF: *ant pit flashbacks like the soldier meme* I blame dad

ZZL: someone told him to go to hell and here he is

TLJ: *calmly points at hole in the ceiling* I heard they had a good library down here

LGZ/OPM: You know what I did *refuses to elaborate*

LPM/XGZ: threw a few too many tantrums

SXY: Doesn’t even live here, is just here to visit her boyfriend

LQG: got lost looking for a waffle house

LMY: wrote smut about real people and published it

GYX: did nothing wrong, is here because of a logistics issue in heaven or smth, man can never catch a break he’s so unlucky

[lambiesvault]

Luo Binghe: I think I'm in love with Sh*n Qingq*u's sister-

Ning Yingying confused: Shizun doesn't have a sister?

Luo Binghe: Then who did I make out with..????????

Ming Fan sprinting into the conversation for exposition reasons, out of breath and terrified: BEAST. You.. You hit on Shizun's younger brother. Oh gods-

[haley-harrison]

Liu Qingge: There's a rule against Luo Binghe on Cang Qiong Mountain.

Shen Qingqiu: Rules are made to be broken.

Liu Qingge: No, rules are made to be followed; nothing is made to be broken.

Shen Qingqiu: Uh, piñatas, glowsticks, pasta if your pot's too small -

Luo Binghe: And rules!

[whos-the-seme]

Shang Qinghua: That's right, I'm a cut-sleeve. And in case you haven't noticed, so is Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu: What??? I'm not a cut-sleeve.

Shang Qinghua: Haha, what're you talking about, you took me to that dual cultivation tavern.

Shen Qingqiu: So? They sold neat talismans!

Shang Qinghua: What about our trip to the Everlasting Hearts Cave then?

Shen Qingqiu: I wanted to see the Blooming Love Birds during nesting season!

Shang Qinghua: B-but... you made love to me--

Shen Qinghua: Okay, first of all, you landed face first into a sex pollen plant--

[xxmiserysmilesxx]

Shen Qingqiu: STOP SAYING “here comes the airplane” WHENEVER IM ABOUT TO BLOW YOU

Shang Qinghua: WELL STOP CRITIQUING THE WORLDBUILDING OF MY SEX ROLEPLAYS 

Mobei-Jun: ??????????

[eternalauwhereeverythingisok]

shen qingqiu: i think i'm coming down with something, i've been feeling nauseous lately.

shang qinghua: maybe you're pregnant?

shen qingqiu:

shang qinghua:

shen qingqiu: i don't know who's the bigger idiot right now, you because you suggested it, or me, because i just had a heart attack.