#integratedattachmenttheory

[consciouslyrelating]

Have you ever feared over-committing, so you set boundaries that are too drastic and extreme? Have you ever feared being abandoned, so you ignore boundaries as much as you can? Or have you feared having the wool pulled over your eyes and also being abandoned, so you flip flop between having no boundaries to having extreme boundaries suddenly?

Which attachment style speaks most to you from these common fears of the 4 attachment styles?

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[consciouslyrelating]

Restore vitality - Have a good ecosystem of both giving and receiving. Make sure you don’t block either! 🙃

We’re made to exist among a community, to depend on others and have thriving social circles, but more and more we’ve been adopting a more isolated approach that’s not natural and leads to a lot of the reasons, ironically, that promote further disconnection both physiological and psychological.

Being part of the flow of giving and receiving, trusting you know how to meet your needs as well as expressing them is vital. Trusting yourself to lay boundaries out of love rather than scarcity and fear is vital. Trusting yourself to support and be there for others, able to meet their needs is also vital. Giving restores your vitality and energy as much as receiving, or even more at times. Out of balance on either, you dull your own light.

Why, despite living conditions being on average far above what they’ve been in most of our human history, we have potentially a lot more depression, anxiety and other states? When we have more comfort and opportunities, more time to spend on things other than solely survival, why are we lacking so much energy when we get home? Why are we isolating ourselves when that’s biologically not healthy for us?

Think about that?

Make sure you make an informed decision about why you are where you are, and don’t put your head in the sand.

[consciouslyrelating]

Here are 4 common characteristics of the 4 attachment styles.

1. SECURE 2. ANXIOUS 3. FEARFUL AVOIDANT 4. DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT

Those with secure attachment style at the moment, can offer support without feeling depleted and can receive support without pushing it away. They have a good eco-system of giving and receiving in their relationships. Their actions aren't driven by scarcity or fear.

Which one can you identify with?

Get comfortable with who you are at this moment and know nothing is set. Our brain can reprogram itself and we can choose our future.

Attachment style determination can be tricky because it is something in our system that we're very likely used to and part of our subconscious comfort zone. But these are 4 general characteristics that can be a good start in self-evaluation and evaluation of others so things can be personalized less and tackled with compassion more.