#internalized prejudice

[xberylliumoxide]

B3 - Internalized Prejudice

Noah judges Brutus' fashion choices.

CW: Internalized prejudice, actual use of capitalization for once

"What are you wearing?"

It was the first thing Noah asked when he saw him. He probably shouldn't have said it out loud.

"Miniskirt.," Brutus answered, matter-of-factly. "Cute, right?"

"Why would you wear that?" He should probably shut up.

"Cuz it's cute." Brutus was, as usual, entirely unfazed.

Okay, it's cute. Shut up. "People are gonna stare." Shut up.

"So?"

Um. Good question.

"So... that's a bad thing?"

"No it's not."

What? People staring is a bad thing. It's always been a bad thing. It means they're gonna hurt you, or they're thinking about how stupid you look, or you're damaging your reputation as respectable. You're supposed to be respectable. A man can't wear a skirt.

Right?

Noah didn't know what else to say. Nothing sounded right.

"You shouldn't wear that."

He felt bad for saying it. But Brutus didn't seem hurt by it.

"Okay. I'm gonna do it anyway, though."

[ailingwriter]

What self worth problems would fishwoman Nami have?

Okay so I might be a bit wrong on the character readings or canon events here but screw it we ball. Tw for internalized prejudice btw, and my apologies if I portray it poorly or insensitively.

When Arlong and his crew first land on Cocoyashi, and he sees a young fishwoman - a girl, a child! - working in the tangerine fields, he doesn't assume that she's doing it out of her own free will. Why would he? As far as he's known, humans could never see fishmen as equals, as family.

That leaves one possibility in his eyes. And it makes him furious. He will not allow any human filth to treat his brethren as slaves. He will right this wrong, and make sure this child grows up among her kind!

Nami's first encounter with another fishman is when they kill her mother, then turn to her and tell her that she is one of them. And they keep telling her that, even as she sees them lie and steal and hurt the people who treated her so kindly.

Consciously, she knows they have to be wrong. How could they be her family when they were the ones to kill her mother? But spending so long around them made it harder and harder for her to shake off their words, words meant to make her feel at ease but which instead make her feel sick.

It takes her a long time and more than a few talks with Jinbe to process those feelings, and to truly start moving past them.

[headinthecloudssss]

— Harper Lee, from To kill a mockingbird

[ask-asexual-crystal-gems]

I'll bite, how do you find poly people to just tag along with? And why wouldn't constantly being around people in a relationship, while not *really* being a part of it yourself, not make the whole feeling worse?

The same way you find Comic Cons, generalized interest groups, meetups, clubs, or any other queer groups. The internet.

Meetup Groups: Accessing Polyamory Support Near You - Poly-Coach

Polyamory Expert Laurie Ellington highlights meetup groups as a way for individuals and couples to access polyamory support in their communi

For context: this person seems to have read my suggestion for aro people to link up with poly people because they don’t do the toxic monogamy scarcity-mindset of love thing, which results in neglecting or jettisoning friendships.

Anon, if you are put off by the idea of gaining more social bonds in this way, consider:

(1) you may not actually be wholly aromantic, but be a cupioromatic (you actively want to be in a romantic relationship, you just don’t have the same feelings about it or drive for it as an allo)

OR

(2) you may have some internalized arophobia to work out (bonds you form with people as an aromantic are conceptualized as ‘inferior’ when relationship anarchy says they’re not. This is an absorbed idea from society that makes you feel bad by affecting how you view things)

(3) you’re carrying baggage from friends dumping you for romo bonds. (this is subconsciously reminding you of those shitty experiences)

If it’s (1), the solution is to simply have a romantic (but not sexual, if you don’t want that, if not ‘favorable ace’) relationship with the polycule (or a given person within the polycule)

If it’s (2) or (3) that’s gonna take some self-reflection and some sorting through feelings to release them.

It is VERY common for aces and aros to offer open relationships to partners they obtain, so they can get those sexual or romantic desires met elsewhere.

In this, you get your need met- have a partner, maybe even a primary partner, and they get theirs met.

This doesn’t always happen in the context of both people being already-familiar with poly, but it IS one of the reasons poly is perfectly positioned to shore up ace/aro loneliness.

@miloway

[owlbloop]

I feel like there's a lot of ableism in villains and body horror

And that doesn't get recognized enough

Like, if a character is plot important and has a cane, villain

Disfiguring scars or facial features? Villain or morally grey

Flat affect, comedic aspect of a side character or villan

Low empathy, villain

Intellectual disability or semi verbality, probably stereotyped and a henchmen

I've seen more villains have panic attacks or full anxiety attacks then protagonists

Serious mental Illness, villain

Most of the non elderly deaf and blind characters i know are morally grey

So many villans are like Ghost from antman and the wasp

Continuous life support or medical equipment, villain

With horror, particularly body horror, it's more subtle. Less intentional I suppose

A lot of body horror and fear design is based in the uncanny valley/the abnormal, and that can get iffy really quick.

I'll start with general horror stuff since that's easiest to express

I have photophobia, the fancy term for light sensitivity. On bad days I can barely see while outside. You know who gets to have photophobia near exclusively in media, vampires and various other similar demonic creatures. It's nearly impossible to name photophobic characters who's photophobia is not a mark of their inhuman nature or possession

Possessive fits in media and in history are often based in epilepsy

Changelings probably were based in ways to excuse autism, infant mortality rates, and chronic illness. In the modern day they still hold on to this idea of your child being replaced with something not quite right, that's just a little too wordy, that doesn't act how they should

Horror around mental illness is just.. I hope i don't need to explain how aspd/psychosis/DID get screwed over unendingly

Insensitive exploitation of asylums and their history

There's plenty more, but those are the easiest for me to explain

Now body horror

Flaking skin, red inflamed bumps, disfigurement, body parts with "unnatural" flexibility, crunchy joints, stretchy or translucent skin, "overly long" limbs/fingers, rattling breaths and wheezes, dislocation with at will reduction, less or additional digits, hella pale skin, and so on cause a problem in when they become peoples comparison of reference for disabled bodies

And I completely get how that happens, there's very little open exposure and representation of disabled people. I certainly think there's nuance to be found as well within the specifics and i'm not saying that huge swaths of body horror are necessarily problematic for just being body horror.

But A, real disabled people aren't comparable to horror/fiction

B, actually intentionally basing horror off real disabilities gets gross FAST

C, stereotyping is extremely important to avoid

D, horror/body horror can exist in a wide variety of forms that don't negatively impact perceptions of disabled people

And last but not least, E, any body horror or horror fiction creators should look at why they find what they do disturbing and make an effort to unpack any internalized ableism/stigma around their content

The same with anyone writing certain villain archetypes or disabled villains

The fact that someone has neurodivergent(and i mean that beyond just adhd/autism) traits or something "wrong" with their body should not be used as an external representation of their poor character

Nor sheerly to gain sympathy points for your bad guy

Nor just to fit your prejudiced conceptions of the world

[samwise-is-a-butch-lesbian]

anyone else ever feel like they’re ‘not butch enough’? like i don’t always dress stereotypically masculine, i have hair down to my shoulders, and sometimes i still feel like i have to wear makeup and be feminine to be worthy. or at least be some kind of androgynous? idk. i just feel like if i allow myself to be who i am my family and my friends won’t see me as the same anymore - especially my mom. i know a lot of it is probably internalized lesbophobia or whatever, because i still definitely struggle with that, but i’m just wondering if anyone else out there relates?

god sorry for the long as vent 💀

[magnetothemagnificent]

Alright, a little lesson in what terms mean and what they don't mean.

Internalized hatred is hating yourself because of internalized attitudes about a specific identity you posses.

Internalized hatred is not expressing hatred towards other people because of internalized attitudes about their identity, even if you are also of that identity.

For example:

A trans person that hates themself for being trans has internalized transphobia.

A trans person that hates other people for being trans is just transphobic. They may also have internalized transphobia, but once that transphobia is expressed extrenally, it stops being internalized transphobia but rather externalized transphobia.

Another example:

When I was younger, I dealt with a lot of internalized antisemitism. I hated my own Jewish features and was extremely insecure about them. That's internalized antisemitism.

But, if I had expressed that antisemitism towards other Jews, I would have just been antisemitic, even if I'm also Jewish. Because "internalized" is feelings towards oneself, "externalized" is feelings towards others.

Now, not every person dealing with internalized hatred expresses it externally. Many people dealing with externalized hatred only hate their own identity, but are fine with others having it. That's how insecurity works.

There's nothing wrong with having internalized hatred. Most people struggle with internalized hatred and insecurity about some aspect of themselves at some point or another, whether it's their appearence, their weight, their race, their gender, their sexuality, etc etc. It's something every person has to work on and hopefully come to peace with, but it's not evil to have these thoughts.

What becomes a problem is when that hatred is expressed about other people. Because internalized hatred and insecurity isn't an excuse to be prejudiced and discriminatory.

[faggilyeverafter]

I need people to stop saying ‘internalised prejudice’ when they mean lateral aggression. I’m using transphobia as an example for these but it can be homophobia, racism etc. Internalised transphobia is when a trans person struggles with their self image and worries that they’re ‘faking it’, aka transphobic rhetoric that they have absorbed and are only directing towards themselves. Lateral aggression is when a trans person directs this rhetoric at other trans people, like saying neopronouns aren’t real or that gnc trans people aren’t really trans. This is not internalised, it is just transphobia. I am begging people to stop excusing lateral aggression as internalised prejudice.