Adventures of a PGY1
It feels surreal to be writing this. A few weeks ago I graduated, and it was like a switch flipped. My emails were suddenly addressed “Dr.”, people started referring to me as a physician, I showed up at my residency orientation and they handed me a long white coat. I know I have technically “earned” the title, but the truth of medical school is that the peak of my confidence was at the end of second year, and that the next two years only solidified that I knew so much and so little at the same time. I know that residency is sometimes a thing to be dreaded, but I also find it a comfort. If I had to practice independently right out of medical school I would be scared out of my mind.
I’m still scared out of my mind. The learning curve is steep, and it’s hard to fathom that patients will see me as someone knowledgeable and competent when I feel so undeserving of that assessment. I felt confident at the end of my second year of medical school because I had memorized the rules, but in reality the exceptions to the rules are vast, and there are so many rare “zebras” out there that you will certainly run into some of them.
Still, it’s exciting to finally be here, and I can only hope and pray that my enthusiasm will outweigh my fear and stave off burnout for as long as possible. Fingers crossed.
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you on the wards.
