Intrulorality is definitely going to become a more common occurrence here. I’m getting more comfortable writing smut, it’s helping me work through some of my own shame surrounding sex. Which is pretty cool. They will be my smut couple and I will do horrendous things to them.
After a rocky end to his last housing situation, Logan has lucked out with an amazing place at an affordable price, with two of the best roommates one could ask for.
Nothing could possibly go wrong. Except, perhaps, catching feelings for both his roommates.
Written for @tss-camp-and-coffee's Camp Cartoon event, for @typically-untypical. Prompt: Intrulogicality
WC: 6061 - Rated: T - CW: a single f-bomb?
Logan Sanders was not one for hyperbole or exaggeration. As such, he could not accurately state he loved his living arrangements. He deeply appreciated how the short four-block walk to and from work rarely took more than five and half minutes door to door. He had become a regular at the fruit market on the corner, the coffee shop halfway between his lab and home, and the regional library a quick ten minute walk in the opposite direction.
The apartment itself was huge, taking up the entire top floor with a full balcony stretching the length of the building. The neighbors were considerate, the building secure and comfortable. The rent, inordinately affordable thanks to Remus’ grandmother’s forty-year-old lease. Everything about the apartment was perfect.
Including his roommates.
Remus was how he discovered the place, or more accurately, Remus’ twin brother had been. Logan and Roman had shared an apartment since junior year. And, later, when things grew serious between Roman and his boyfriend, Logan had offered to move out and give them the privacy they rather clearly—and loudly—required.
By luck, Remus was seeking a second roommate at the same time. And though Logan had already learned the resemblance between the twins stopped at their physical features, he got on well enough with the rather chaotic twin that he readily accepted. Contingent, of course, that Remus’ other roommate—his fiance—agreed. That fact had given Logan pause, briefly, and Remus seemed to notice.
“Don’t worry, we’re nothing like Ro Bro and his boytoy Jannie,” he’d stage-whispered.
“I heard that!” Roman gasped, hand pressed to his heart.
“Yeah, so did I!” Remus snapped back, a quirk to his lips softening his tone. “Every single night he’d stay over.”
Logan struggled to hide his laughter and Remus winked at him. “Wanna stop by after seven tonight? Pattycake’ll be home from work by then.”
When he arrived at the apartment at five after seven, Logan had been struck figuratively dumb when Remus and his fiance opened the door and ‘Pattycake’ turned out to be none other than Patton Hart.
“Logie?” he’d cried, voice deeper than Logan remembered, but with the same brilliant smile. “Is that really you?”
Remus laughed. “You two already know each other?”
Patton blushed then. “Remember that lab partner I told you about? Y’know…” He gave Remus a meaningful look. “Back in high school?”
“Oh—Oh!” Understanding washed over Remus’ face and turned, giving Patton his full attention. “’Scuse us just a minute,” he’d mumbled and tugged Patton away from the door.
Preparing himself for a polite rejection, Logan mentally mapped out the next steps to continue his apartment hunt. As they talked in that quick short-hand of long-term partners, blessedly incomprehensible to him, Logan watched his shoes. He imagined, fleetingly, he might get sucked up into a black hole in the floor and pretend none of this had ever happened.
The couple's conversation was brief.
“Log—gan?” Patton said aloud and he looked up. Logan was met with the achingly familiar blue eyes he genuinely thought he’d never get to see again. “Do you prefer Logan now?”
“You were the only person who ever called me ‘Logie,’” he said. “N—Not—not that I ever minded it,” he added in a rush when Patton’s grin wavered.
“Well, Logie,” he said, grin blooming when Logan smiled back. “Would you like to see the place?”
~
Hand-in-hand, Remus and Patton gave him a full tour. Excluding their bedroom, of course.
The apartment was large and the layout well-structured to support roommates. The open central space contained a full kitchen, living and dining room, all overlooking the south-facing balcony. Two bedrooms sat on the east end, and two on the west, each approximately the same size.
“Have you already found a third roommate?” Logan asked, peering into the fourth generously-sized bedroom.
“Not looking for one,” Remus shrugged. “With so much work from home going on when we moved in, our last roommate used this as his office.”
“Ah, I see.” Logan cleared his throat and hoped his disappointment didn’t show. “So the rent is per bedroom?” Confusion and his need for clarity overrode the awkwardness of discovering they actually expected twice what he’d budgeted for.
“Oh, no,” Patton said, shaking his head. That familiar splash of hope painted his features as he looked up at him. “Of course not.”
“Yeah,” Remus grinned. “This place is a fuckin’ steal.” He gestured at the high ceilings and the big, bright windows stretching across the wall. They continued into each of the south-facing bedrooms on either side. “Why not share our luck?”
“It… you make an irresistible argument,” Logan said carefully, unable to completely suppress the giddy smile creeping its way across his face.
Patton bounced on his toes and exchanged a grin with Remus. “So does that mean you’re moving in?”
“If you’ll have m—“ Before he’d finished, Patton had flung himself in his arms, irrepressible as always.
“This calls for cookies to celebrate!”
~
Nearly a year into his lease, Logan was still struck by how different everything was with Patton and Remus.
At his old place, after Janus had moved in, of course, Logan had been hyper-aware their apartment housed a couple, Roman and Janus, and him. Together, Roman and his boyfriend were a distinct unit. They slept together, ate meals together, indulged in terrible YouTube reaction videos together. Logan was—regrettably—convinced they even bathed together.
Initially, Logan had been somewhat apprehensive he’d simply gone from watching one twin’s relationship to watching the other’s.
But right from the start, both Patton and Remus welcomed him into their home lives, never leaving him feeling as though he was intruding on a private moment or was an odd third wheel to be tolerated until he retreated to his own bedroom.
That’s not to say Patton and Remus weren’t affectionate in front of him. If anything, the pair traded double entendres, little heated glances and kisses and touches even more than often Roman and Janus had on their most… demonstrative days.
The tone between the three of them was different somehow. All the times he’d inevitably walked in on Roman and Janus kissing in the kitchen (or the laundry room or the hall or the living room), an awkward silence would fall over the apartment, at times stretching well into the evening.
Whenever he happened upon a stolen bit of affection between Patton and Remus, though, Logan felt he was being let in on some savory little secret between the three of them. He felt… trusted.
Trusted wasn’t precisely the right word, but Logan set his musing aside as he turned the key in the lock and opened the door. The sizzles and clanks of cooking emanated from the kitchen and the mingled scents of chocolate, tomato sauce, and fried eggplant greeted him. He closed the door and set his key in its place next to it before slipping off his shoes.
“Oh! Good, you’re home!” Patton called to who he’d—incorrectly—guessed to have been Remus home early. “You gotta taste this!”
Smiling, Logan, poked his head into the kitchen. Hair, face, and apron dusted with flour and smears of butter and smashed garlic, Patton dragged a spoon in one bubbling pot as he flipped a half-dozen golden brown eggplant patties with the other.
“I’m sorry to disappoint,” Logan said with a chuckle. He began to gather the dirty mixing bowls and cutting boards collecting on the counter beside the stove. “It’s just me. Remus isn’t home yet.”
“I knew it was you, Logie. You always hang your key on the little hook when you come in.” Patton looked over his shoulder and grinned. He lifted a spoon dabbed with sauce and blew on it until the steam thinned. “What do you think of this?”
Cheeks warmed from the heat of all four burners running on the stovetop, Logan stepped closer, accepting the offered taste. Sweet onion and garlic combined with the tang of tomatoes and… “Hmmm,” he said without truly meaning to. “Is that… is that cumin?” he asked, eyeing the bubbling pot and wondering if it would be rude to ask for another taste.
Grinning, Patton nodded and scooped up another bit with a fresh spoon. “Yep,” he said before blowing on the second taste and offering it to him. “What do you think? I’ve been tasting it all afternoon and I just don’t know anymore.”
“It’s wonderful,” Logan said, licking his lips.
Patton’s grin grew as he returned to the frying pan. “Oh, yay!” he said, shoulders dancing as he swapped out the cooked patties for freshly dipped ones.
Logan busied himself with the dishes as he waited for the sizzle to die down. “Is this for Remus’ birthday?” he asked when Patton looked up from the pan.
“It is! A little early surprise before the big bash on Saturday.” He looked up suddenly, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “You’re still coming, right?” Big blue eyes stared right into him, that hopeful smile fighting to overcome nerves.
‘Wanna be lab buddies?’
“Of course, Pat,” Logan nodded, freezing momentarily when Patton rushed forward and kissed his cheek.
Patton, thankfully, didn’t seem to notice his awkwardness. “Oh, thank goodness! The way you paused there got a me a little nervous,” he said with a laugh. “We’d miss you too much if you couldn’t make it.” He nudged the eggplant, checking the underside of the thinnest piece. “Remmie would’ve been just crushed if you weren’t there.”
“As would I,” Logan murmured, dribbling a bit of soap on a scrubber. As he tackled the batter dried at the bottom of the biggest glass bowl, Logan realized it hadn’t merely been a platitude. He’d give almost anything to be able to join their celebration.
The sizzling pan drew Patton’s attention and Logan renewed his devotion to the stack of dishes in the sink. Patton hummed a melody Logan knew only from listening while he cooked and, together, they finished their preparations and returned the kitchen to a moderately controlled state.
Logan found the plates Patton had inherited from his grandmother and arranged them around the big Happy Birthday, Love centerpiece. His gaze lingered on the hearts Patton had sketched on the tiny balloons and he smiled. “I bought a little something for Remus, as well…” he began, reaching past Patton for the napkins.
Patton turned, eyebrows raised and listening.
“It’s, ah… the tickets aren’t for another two months, but are you familiar with the Dragon Love Lights exhibit?”
Brow furrowed, Patton’s gaze focused somewhere far away before suddenly exclaiming, “Oh! Yes! At the botanical garden?”
Logan nodded, Patton’s excited grin contagious.
“Oh!,” Patton exclaimed. “Remmie's gonna love seeing that with you! You know he’s got all ten dragons of the—“
“Wait, Pat—” Smiling carefully, Logan brushed his fingers over Patton’s arm. Patton looked up at him, eyes wide. “I purchased tickets for the two of you,” he emphasized. “The exhibit is… a, well… rather romantic sort of event. It wouldn’t be appro—“
Inexplicably, Patton’s face fell and Logan gave his arm a gentle squeeze. “Surely Remus would enjoy it much more with your company than with mine,” he said.
Lip again caught between his teeth, Patton looked like he wanted to argue the point.
Before he could say anything, the front door slammed open and Remus called out, “Honey, I’m home!” His boots thunked on the floor and keys clattered on the entry table, then he burst into the kitchen.
“Oh, honeys, I’m home,” he joked, winking at Logan before drawing Patton close for a kiss. “Damn, somethin’ smells yummy in here,” he laughed, nuzzling Patton’s neck. “The food smells pretty tasty, too,” he added, grinning at Logan over Patton’s shoulder.
“Well, good,” Patton giggled, cheeks glowing pink from Remus’ attention. “It’s for you!”
Voice dipping into a gravely hum, Remus shifted and hugged Patton from behind, long, tanned arms wrapped around his belly. He rested his chin on Patton’s shoulder and managed to grin at both of them at the same time. “For me?” he asked. “My birthday’s not ‘til—oh!”
One hand whipped out and closed on Logan’s, green eyes laser-focused on his. “You’re coming this weekend, right? Well…” he chuckled, his waggling eyebrows making his teasing wordplay clear. “You are planning to attend the formal celebration of the anniversary of my nat… ism?” he clarified with a vaguely British accent.
Logan couldn’t hold back a laugh as he nodded. “Yes,” he said. “I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
“Very good, my good sir. Very good,” Remus tutted with a little bow of his head. He squeezed Logan’s hand before releasing him and resuming his earlier impression of a boa constrictor around Patton’s middle.
“Told you,” Patton mouthed as Remus wiggled him closer to a seat. “Remmie,” he said aloud, gently batting his hands away. He didn’t try very hard to get away, already melting into Remus’ embrace. “I need to serve!” he laughed.
Logan shook his head and swiped the spatula from the stovetop. “You two sit,” he grinned. “I’ve got this.”
~
The next month, the city choked under the oppressive early summer heat and Logan grimaced when he pushed open the lobby door only to discover the building’s air conditioning was out.
Walking slowly upstairs—in no universe was he about to willingly enter the tiny metal cookbox of an elevator on a day like this—he hoped beyond hope their apartment’s air conditioning was somehow still functioning.
He heard Remus’ singing before he’d even slid his key in the door, the rough voice a mismatch for the sentimental melody. For reasons Logan was a loss to explain, it was remarkably pleasant and Logan stood in the hall for a few verses, listening to his roommate sing.
Finally compelled by the need for air—even merely an open window and a fan—he quietly turned the key and opened the door. It wasn’t until he got inside that he fully deciphered the lyrics Remus sang.
Kisses are a better fate than wisdom
‘Cause you know I’d be a fool to do
But with winter’s end
And snow’s last cringe
That’s all I long to do
Oh to be a fool
Wholly be a fool
My blood approves…
“Is that Cummings?” Logan called out. Part of his brain registered relief at the cooler apartment, but his mind wouldn’t let go of the verses.
Remus’ head poked out from Logan’s bedroom. “Hey, Lo Lo,” he grinned. “Um, yeah… sorta. Inspired by?” he shrugged, cheeks pink from the heat even in the considerably cooler apartment air. “I hope you don’t mind.” Gnawing on his lip, he gestured to the room behind him. “Your door was open, otherwise I would’ve waited ‘til you got home.”
Logan joined him in the doorway and, where Remus had gestured, sat a brand new air conditioning unit.
“Did you… Did you purchase this?”
Remus’ grin returned and he nodded, eyes sparkling. “It was hot as fuck in here, so I got one for each bedroom and the living room.”
Relishing the cool air, Logan looked around the room. Everything was in its place. Remus had even dusted the blinds after he’d installed the unit, a little Swiffer duster sitting as evidence on the floor beneath the window sill.
“I didn’t want you to come home to a sweltering box, y’know?” he said, watching Logan’s face. “Those south-facing windows get pretty hot without a little AC.”
Logan should feel odd, at least, to have Remus in his bedroom. He was fairly certain this was the first time Remus had been there since the day he’d moved in. But he didn’t feel odd, he felt… Honestly, Logan felt an urge to drag Remus over to his bookcase and start showing him everything he was reading.
Shaking away the impulse, Logan smiled and stepped closer to the window. Chilly air blasted against his skin, cooling the sweat soaking through his shirt and hair. “Thank you, Remus,” he sighed. “This is such a wonderful surprise to come home to.”
Head tilted, Remus stepped closer, smiling back at him with an expression he wasn’t completely certain how to read. “Good,” he said after a moment, then clapped his hands together. “Alright, then. Why don’t you get comfortable—and no,” he laughed when Logan’s gaze darted automatically to his closet. “Don’t just change your tie. I’m trying out that rotini thing we had at the party, if that’s okay with you?”
A loud grumble from his stomach answered for him and he nodded. “That sounds wonderful, actually,” he said. “I shall change and then come assist you however I can.”
As he left, Remus turned back, that same soft smile tugging at his lips. One hand on the door frame, his mouth opened then closed again before he nodded and slipped back out into the hallway.
Logan nearly followed him before the stickiness of his shirt got the better of him and he nodded to himself. He wanted to ask more about the song, to ask Remus what he’d been about to say, to thank him again for all his trouble with the air conditioner. He wanted…
He should change first.
Remus’ low hum trailed after his path back to the kitchen and Logan closed the door, loosening his tie as he went. A comfortably warm feeling buzzed in his chest and he found himself humming bits of Remus’ melody as he stripped off his clothes and rinsed off in the shower. He quickly toweled off and pulled on an old pair of jeans and a fresh collared shirt.
Just before he’d buttoned the top, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Towel-dried hair slicked back, a wide grin stretched across his face. He contemplated his reflection for a moment before finally leaving his shirt only partially buttoned. He pocketed his phone and headed toward the kitchen.
“Hey, Lo,” Remus said as he approached, head deep in a cabinet. “Whaddya think about—“ His words fizzled out when he turned. Eyes traveling up and down, he took in Logan’s clothes. It was only then Logan realized he hadn’t even put on socks or a belt.
Logan touched his open collar, suddenly feeling… undressed. “I should—”
But Remus grinned. “It’s a good look on you,” he said, reaching for his arm before he could leave. “How do you feel about some garlic bread to go with?” he asked, hand lingering on his sleeve.
Mouth suddenly dry, Logan nodded. “I’ll—” He cleared his throat and Remus pulled a loaf from the cabinet. “I’ll set the table.”
~
He’d nearly completed the place settings when both of their phones buzzed. They exchanged a glance and a worried quirk dragged at Remus’ lips.
Sure enough, it was Patton.
Parent-teacher confs are running long. I’ll be home in about two hours. Don’t wait for me
Logan looked up and caught Remus’ eye. A dozen different emotions flashed over his face, a dice roll as he seemed to try each one on in turn: disappointment, worry, fondness, nervousness, resignation.
I’m sorry you have to work late but there will be nutritious food waiting for you when you return home. Remus has prepared a small summer feast.
Finally, Remus’ expression landed on a crooked grin and he winked at him before typing his own response into their group chat.
We’ll miss you, Pattycake, but I’ll be sure to save some for you… 😈
Logan glanced up at him, wondering what treat Remus planned to include with Patton’s dinner.
Patton’s response was quick.
You better 😈 (I know you will)
pat_print🐾 is typing lingered on the screen for several moments before his next message finally appeared.
See you tonight! 💖xo 💖xo
Chuckling, Logan smiled down at his phone. He didn’t need much of an imagination to envision the little kisses for Remus Patton intended with his message.
It seemed neither did Remus as he tapped at his own phone in response. No message popped up in their group chat, though, so surely a private message just for Patton, and Logan put away his own phone. After another moment, Remus did the same.
“How about we take our plates to the living room?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Maybe put on a little Doctor Who?”
Earlier in the year, the three of them had begun a slow rewatch of Doctor Who together. Patton hadn’t watched it since high school and Remus had skipped all of the Eleventh Doctor after The Angels Take Manhattan, so they both had a lot to catch up on.
Logan was more than happy to indulge in a rewatch in preparation for the latest season.
~
A familiar voice called over a radio on the show, “Excellent bottom,” and Logan failed to suppress a little wiggle.
Grinning, Remus slid closer to him on the couch. “Is that who I think it is?”
“Spoilers,” Logan laughed, one finger over his lips.
“Hello! I’m home,” Patton called from the door and Remus grabbed the remote to pause before jumping to his feet.
“You’re just in time!” he cheered and led Patton to the couch. “I’ll get your plate. Guess who’s just caught Rose mid-air in the middle of a WWII bombing blitz!
Eyes twinkling in the low light, Patton looked from Logan to the paused screen. He dropped down onto the couch beside Logan, scooting close. “Oh, I love this episode!”
“I am quote fond of it, as well,” he nodded. “Do you remember much? We could always—“
“’You’ve got an excellent bottom, too,’” Patton quoted, perfectly mimicking the character’s inflection. “Jack’s always reminded me of Remmie,” he explained. Cheeks pink, Patton leaned close to whisper near Logan’s ear. “I might have spent a bit of time on the wiki for this episode, y’know… for research?”
“Research?” Logan narrowed his eyes. “For… Remus?”
“For… For a bit of storytelling?” he said, watching Logan’s eyes.
“Have you…” Logan’s smile grew. “Have you written Doctor Who fanfic—” he blurted out.
“And it’s really great!” Remus called from the other room.
“Pat?” Logan turned and met Patton’s eyes. “Why haven’t you ever told me? It’s no secret I am… and aficionado of transformative works.”
“I…” Patton shrugged, fingers twisting painfully together in his lap. “I don’t know nearly as much as you do about the show. I was afraid it wasn’t… y’know… good enough.”
Before he really could think about it, Logan covered Patton’s hands with his own. Patton stopped their twisting and clung to his hand. “Patton, I am confident anything you wrote is more than adequate. I would very much like to read your stories, if you would permit me, of course.”
“Really?” Soft pink lips curled into a beautiful smile.
“Truly,” Logan said as Remus returned with Patton’s dinner. Apparently not wanting to interrupt, Remus sat on Logan’s other side, sliding close to listen.
Backed up by Remus’ silent support, Logan continued. “Pat, you have such a kind heart and you notice things about people others overlook. All the… tricky emotions beneath it. That’s the core of a good story. ”
A shy smile lifted his features and he caught Remus’ eye over Logan’s shoulder before nodding. “Okay, Logie. I’ll send you a link.” He giggled, bright bells in the air. “Maybe more than one?”
“Excellent,” Logan said, suddenly looking down at their entwined hands. If Remus noticed they were sitting so… intimately when he returned, he didn’t remark on it. “Would you prefer to eat first and then we’ll resume the show when you’re ready?”
Releasing his hands to snatch up the bowl Remus had set before him on the coffee table, Patton shook his head. “I’m ready now!” he grinned. “Let’s go!”
~
Logan was so engrossed in the show, he barely noticed when Patton had finished his food and curled closer. At the beginning of the next episode, his head began to tilt close to Logan’s shoulder and Remus stretched one arm over the back of the couch. Patton’s breathing slowed and he leaned closer, drowsing with Remus’ hand trailing through his hair.
“Would you like to switch spots?” Logan whispered to Remus, afraid of disturbing Patton.
Remus met his eyes. “Are you uncomfortable like this?”
“I—” Logan shook his head, cheeks warming. “No—That’s not why—I—”
Unflappable, Remus looked back at him with a crooked smile.
Patton’s weight against his shoulder was reassuring, soft and warm. And Remus’ arm, though it had slipped down from the back rest to settle around his shoulders felt… pleasant. Good, in fact. “Well, no,” he said at last. “Actually I am… quite comfortable.”
“Good,” Remus said with a grin and returned his attention to the show.
Logan attempted to do the same. All of Logan’s powers of concentration, though, were focused on everything but the show.
Patton’s gentle weight leaning against his side, his steady, easy breaths. Patton’s arm wrapped around his belly. Remus’ thigh pressed against his, the flex and twitch of his muscles when his knee bounced, watching the climax of the episode. Remus’ thumb grazing his shoulder as the rest of his hand carded through Patton’s hair.
As Logan watched the Doctor dance around the TARDIS between the rakish, flirting Jack and the sensitive, strong-willed Rose, Logan’s mind wandered, imagining it was the three of them dancing together instead.
When the episode ended, Remus peered past Logan and smiled at the way Patton had drifted off. “He’s beautiful when he sleeps, isn’t he?” he whispered, like they shared a secret.
Logan nodded, the television’s glow only accentuating the gentle curve of Patton’s chin, the impossibly long lashes resting on his cheeks. “He is,” he breathed. In the lead up to finals week their senior year, Patton had fallen asleep in class once, draped over his desk. Peaceful. Lovely. Logan was just as reluctant to wake him then as he was now.
“I believe he thinks I’m you,” he whispered when Patton tightened his grip in his sleep with a strength ordinarily hidden by his soft form.
“I can hear you, y’know,” Patton mumbled without moving away or opening his eyes.
Logan froze but Remus laughed quietly beside him. “He won’t remember,” he whispered.
“Mmm,” Patton hummed then relaxed against him, rubbing his cheek against Logan’s chest. “Will too,” he said, a little clearer this time.
Remus chuckled close to Logan’s ear, warm breath ghosting against his neck. “Mm-hm,” he whispered, near enough his mustache grazed the edge of Logan’s jaw.
Sparks danced over his skin and, for a tiny moment, Logan let himself imagine it hadn’t been an accident.
They’re your roommates!
“I…” Logan shifted, ignoring the goosebumps blooming on his skin. “I should head to bed, I…” He willed himself forward and off the couch, turning so Remus could slide into his vacated spot and hold on to Patton, to his boyfriend, to his fiance.
Without the heat of his roommates—his roommates—pressed close on either side, the air conditioned room left Logan chilled. He shuddered, every muscle, every bone, every bit of him screaming to stay nestled between them. “Thank you,” he said, head bowed to hide the flush he felt growing on his face. “I… This has been a… a very pleasant evening. I…”
Fully awake now, Patton looked up at him with those big, pleading eyes. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Logie.”
That sweet smile would dissolve if Patton had any idea what had been going through his mind.
“It’s… quite late,” Logan forced out. “I… Good night,” he finally managed, nodding to both of them as he escaped to his room. At the doorway, he risked one last glance back. They sat where they had been, an empty space between them. “See you in the morning,” he whispered, then turned and closed his door.
~
The click of Logan’s door had never seemed so loud. Patton turned to Remus, a lump growing in his throat. “Does he really not know?” he whispered.
Staring out at Logan’s stammering retreat, Remus slid close to Patton and drew both arms around him. He shook his head, face buried in his hair. “No, Pattycake. I don’t think he does.”
~
The moon had not yet fully set when the Logan’s nightstand clock ticked over to 3:28. He rolled over, pulling the blanket up over his head in an attempt to convince himself it was the thin sliver of moonlight peeking in through a crack in the blinds that was keeping him awake.
It didn’t work.
Counting down from one hundred by sevens hadn’t worked either. Nor did reciting Fibonacci numbers, Shakespeare’s Sonnet 27, or any of a dozen other tricks and techniques intended to lull a harried mind into sleep.
When he closed his eyes, he imagined the weight of Remus’ arm draped over his shoulders. The fringe on his pillowcase was Remus’ mustache.
When he turned over, the blanket across his body became Patton’s arm. The pillow his fluffy hair.
When he sat up and looked out the window, the car across the street was the same blue as Patton’s eyes. The air conditioner blasting refreshing air into the room still bore Remus’ thumbprint just below the controls.
Had he even properly thanked him? Remus’ efforts had made this night relaxing for both Patton and for him. And Logan hadn’t even done the dishes.
He hadn’t done the dishes.
Throwing off the covers, he leapt out of bed and pushed his eyeglasses into place. No, he couldn’t stop thinking about them and he didn’t yet know how he could possibly face them in the morning. But at the very least he could wash the damn dishes.
Logan crept out of his room, feet perfectly placed to avoid the three floorboards that creaked. Even in the dark, after a year in this place, Logan knew every crack and crevice. He could walk safely through each room with his eyes closed, could open any cabinet and reach blindly for the correct dish or spice or ingredient he needed, knew the precise faucet angle for the perfect temperature to shower and to wash his hands.
Over the past year, he’d grown to truly know and love this place.
The hall and living room were dim, but the faint gleam of moonlight from outside shone on Patton’s dish sitting forlorn on the coffee table. Logan dashed out to collect it. He moved silently to the kitchen to load and start the dishwasher. Despite the late hour, it felt safe to run. In the past, the white noise had proven beneficial to Remus’ occasional insomnia and Patton always said he slept right through it.
Yes, he’d grown to know and love this place. He’d grown to love his roommates, too.
The machine had just started its quiet pre-wash hum when Patton and Remus’ bedroom door creaked open.
“Is that you, Logie?” Patton whispered, a tinge of fear in his voice.
Logan turned on the dim light under the cabinets. “It’s me, Pat,” he said in a low voice. “I apologize, I did not intend to startle you.”
“Oh,” Patton’s laugh came out breathy and in his shadowy silhouette, Logan could just make out his hand pressed to his heart. “It’s okay.” Avoiding the shadows in the still-dim living room, Patton joined him in the kitchen. “What are you doing up?” he asked, eyes intent on his as he reached up to touch the back of his hand to Logan’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m…” Patton’s hand was warm and smelled like his vanilla hand cream. Logan closed his eyes against the image of pulling him close. Of burying his face in the crook of Patton’s neck the way he’d seen Remus do countless times before. “Just a little restless, I think.” He opened his eyes and it was only then he noticed the shadows under Patton’s. “What about you? Are you having difficulty sleeping?”
He shrugged and only then lowered his hand. “A little. We—“
“Pattycake?” Remus’ voice rumbled from their room and he stepped into the hall. “Oh, you’re up, Lo Lo.”
“It seems perhaps none of us are having the most restful night,” Logan murmured.
“I’ll make some tea,” Patton said, moving to fill the kettle.
Wordlessly, Remus stumbled in and took down the box of Sleepy tea. Logan laid out three mugs and the honey Patton preferred and sat down at the counter. He waited until the water was ready and Patton had filled each cup before speaking.
“I…” Gathering his courage, he pulled his steeping tea close, shaking hands hovering around the hot cup. “I believe I know the source of my restlessness,” he began.
Remus brought his cup and sat next Logan. “Is it anything we can help with?” he asked, blowing away the steam on his cup.
Stirring a dollop of honey into his own, the gentle clink followed Patton as he moved to sit on Logan’s other side.
Logan hunched over his cup, the steam fogging his glasses. It was just as well he wouldn’t be able to see their faces. “I believe I… I need to move out,” he said in a rush.
“What?” Reaching for him, Patton’s voice came out strangled. “Why? What—” Breath stuttering, he clamped his mouth shut when Remus brushed his hand, a wordless promise between them.
“Lo? What’s happened?” Remus said, quieter than Logan could remember him. “Have we done something that’s upset you? Or made you uncomfortable?”
Patton gripped his hand and reached for Logan’s with the other. “Whatever it is, Logie, we can fix it.”
“I…” Logan shook his head. “There is nothing you have done wrong. You are exemplary roommates.”
Face falling, Patton pulled his hand away and met Remus’ eyes. “Oh,” he said.
Remus squeezed Patton’s hand, his own eyes downcast.
“I did not intend my reassurances to cause you further consternation…” Words spilling out, Logan didn’t know how to fix the sadness in their eyes. “I am merely—that is to say, I have—I—I have… I have found myself developing, ah…” Courage fading, Logan gulped at his tea.
“Developing…” Remus prompted, eyes sharp.
Logan hung his head. “Developing feelings for you,” he said quietly. “For both of you.”
“Well I should hope so!” Patton said, reaching again for his hand.
“What?” Logan looked up, their sudden grins explaining nothing of the situation. “I… I do not understand. Y—you—Did you hear me? I—” He shook his head, staring down at Patton’s fingers laced together with his. “Romantic feelings for you, I—I—”
“Oh, Logie,” Patton pulled their shared grip up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss against his knuckles. “We have romantic feelings for you, too. I… I thought you knew.”
“I still think we shoulda just invited him to bed,” Remus laughed, brushing back a lock of Logan’s hair. He winked when Logan’s cheeks flushed. “Woulda been pretty hard to miss that overture.”
“Wait, you’ve…” He stared as Patton muffled a giggle behind his hand. “You both…”
“Well, yeah,” Patton said, that sweet shy smile peeking out. “I thought we were being pretty obvious. I mean, my Logie and my Remmie?”
Logan’s mouth literally fell open. “I—I thought…” He wracked his brain, recalling Remus’ birthday party, recalling every mutual friend they’d had in high school. But he and Remus were the only one Patton had given nicknames to.
“And I’ve just been waiting for you to make a move,” Remus said, stroking his cheek. Logan stifled a gasp at the sudden caress, a thousand different ways he might have made said ‘move’ while they were alone filling his mind. “Didn’t wanna come on too strong,” he said, waggling his eyebrows the way he did whenever he used some double entendre.
That, again, Logan had never seen him do with any of their mutual friends.
Patton’s insistence Remus would want to go with him to the Dragon Love Lights, Patton’s double hearts in his messages to their group chat, Remus’ comment about ‘saving him some.’
“Oh,” was all Logan could manage to say.
“So…” Patton began, hopeful smile beaming back at him as Remus stood and wrapped one arm around each of them. “So what do you think now?”
“I…” A low chuckle bubbled up from his chest and he drew them both close. “I believe I need to purchase an additional ticket to that light show.”
Fourth prompt for Camp Cartoon over @tss-camp-and-coffee! This time for my fellow mod @typically-untypical, some fluffy Intrulogicality! Enjoy!
Masterpost | Ao3
Summary: Logan was simply working as normal when his boyfriends decide that he needs to pay attention to them 💙💚💙
Content Warnings: None
~~*~~
The door to Logan’s room was thrown open with such force that it crashed into the wall. Logan flinched and spun his chair around to see what was going on.
“Hands up, you’re under arrest!” Patton demanded, holding back a giggle.
“Yeah! Under suspicions of neglecting your boyfriends!” Remus added from behind him with a shit eating grin on his face. Logan sighed and relaxed back into his chair.
“I am not neglecting you, I am working.”
“Same deal,” Remus shrugged. He and Patton both crossed the room over to Logan, each grabbing one of his arms and heaving him out of his seat.
“Is this really necessary?” Logan questioned, though he didn’t fight the (comfortable) hold they had on him. It was not the first time they decided he owed them attention — nor would it be the last, he’s sure — so he knew protesting wouldn’t get him anywhere. His work wasn’t all that pressing anyway, and he had already been quite productive the last few hours, so a break wasn’t the worst thing.
Not that he would tell his boyfriends that.
He was then led out of the room and into the hallway where Janus just happened to pass by.
“Oh, Janny! Great timing!” Remus called out to him excitedly. “I need you to do me a quick favor. Can you real quick sentence Logie here to— no, wait, you were a lawyer, right? Ro-bro was the judge! We need him to sentence Lolo! Never mind Janny, we got it!”
Janus simply raised a brow, looked to Logan, who just stared back blankly, looked to Patton, who couldn’t contain his giggles anymore, looked back to Remus, shrugged and went on his way.
“Right, off to my brother’s room!” Remus announced cheerfully and Patton responded in kind.
“I am not resisting; can we not just go do what you planned to do without this farce?” Logan sighed, though he still didn’t fight his boyfriend’s hold as they led him towards Roman’s door.
“Everything has it’s necessary procedures, doesn’t it?” Remus grinned.
“Yeah! We’re not going to lock you up without a fair trial!” Patton added, still giggling.
Before Logan could protest more, they arrived at Roman’s door and Remus started knocking without pause until his twin opened it.
“What in Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s name do you— What the hell are you doing?” Roman asked, staring at the odd display in front of him.
“We need you to be our judge!” Patton announced cheerfully. “We arrested Logan on grounds of his neglectful behavior towards his partners!”
“…So you ‘arrested’ him because you wanted his attention?”
“Yeah! Now sentence him!” Remus urged.
“Well, I can’t really do that without a jury. Hey, Scaramore!” Roman called over his shoulder.
“Hmmm?” Virgil’s hum was barely audible to Logan, but he could still tell that he hadn’t paid attention to the conversation so far.
“I need you to be a juror again for a second.”
“What? Why?”
“Because my brother’s being annoying, just come over here.”
“Ugh, fine!”
Some rustling could be heard before Virgil appeared behind Roman a moment later.
“Uhhh…”
“Just listen to them, it’ll be over quicker,” Roman sighed before Virgil could ask. “Plead your case.” He motioned for Patton to speak.
“Oh, right! Well, Logan’s been holed up in his room the entire day and Remus and I saw him only during meals—”
“And that can hardly be called spending time with us,” Remus interrupted, “because one, you bozos were there too and two, Logie insists that we’re not allowed to talk with our mouths full, so we couldn’t even really have a conversation then. Ergo, neglectful to us and our needs.”
“I assume the defendant is representing himself, so you may now make your counterclaim.”
“If I must,” Logan sighed before straightening up. He would have put his hands behind his back, but his boyfriends kept his arms (comfortably) secured. “I worked today as I had scheduled from after lunch until a few minutes ago. There were no other plans made that I cancelled or disregarded in favor of my work.”
“How many hours did you work?”
Logan didn’t know why Roman continued to play along, especially since the way he was leaning against the doorframe showed his complete disinterest in the situation. Then again, as much as Logan loved Remus, he knew that his boyfriend had his flaws and wouldn’t let them stop playing out the scenario until he was satisfied, so maybe going along with it was indeed the fastest option for all of them to get back to enjoying a calm evening.
“I worked from approximately 1pm to a few minutes ago.”
“So around seven hours. Did you work before lunch?”
“Yes, about another two hours between breakfast and lunch.”
“So nine hours in total. I heard all I needed to hear. Jury, what do you find the defendant?”
“Do I have to?” Virgil asked, his hunched shoulders indicating that he was not comfortable with the situation.
“I do not mind, Virgil. Let us finish this so we can all go back to enjoy our evening,” Logan reassured him.
“If you say so,” he shrugged. “The defendant is guilty, I guess. I’m gonna go lie back down.”
“Very well, in accordance with the jury’s verdict, I sentence thee to 2 hours cuddle time without any work-related activities or conversations. Dismissed.” Roman closed the door without even waiting for their responses, probably to go and cuddle with Virgil on his bed and continue watching some Disney movie or whatever those two do in their free time. Logan wasn’t going to pry.
“Fuck yeah, we won, Pattycake!” Remus cheered and held his free hand towards Patton for a high five, that was promptly reciprocated.
“Yes, yes, you won a hard-fought battle,” Logan hummed. “Can we go do whatever you were planning now?”
“Sure, we need to honor the judge’s sentence of course!” Patton laughed, gently pulling Logan – and in turn Remus – by his arm towards his room. “My bed’s the best for cuddling!”
“Yeah, it is!” Remus grinned. “The springs give it a nice bounce.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Logan who just shook his head.
“You both know you could have just asked me to spend time with you and I would have come along willingly, don’t you?”
