IN MY HEAD | HJS
In which Han’s loser dreams come true.
PAIRING | Han Jisung x Reader
THEMES | loser!Han, popular!reader, Felix as Han’s best friend, college house party!au
WORD COUNT | 2k
RATING | pg13
TAGLISTS | @hyunjun-jpeg @geniejunn @nixtape-foryou @jannine00742 @minspalette @danihow @mickmoon @betysotelo18 @softforcb97 @bearseungmin @hgema @devilsmatches @jisuperboard @kylielovesu @yangbbokari (idk how many of you are still active </3)
NOTE | I may be coming back. I’ve written like 2k for both WIPS I’ve had for a while and I think that’s a good sign. Plus I’ve missed it here. This is just a little Drabble I wrote today thinking about how much I love nerd/loser Jisung. I hope you enjoy this and have a great day/night <3 love to all of you
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Han had always seen you first in a room.
From the first day he walked into his literature class that he had dreaded taking, his eyes immediately found you, slumped over in a book.
From the first time he went to a school dance, filled with unfamiliar, beautiful faces. His eyes had unintentionally landed on your face laughing with your friends.
To now, as he’s trying to focus on whatever it is Felix is trying to tell him in the doorway of this unfamiliar house, all he can see is you.
You, in a fitted-yet-still flowy wine red dress, your body winding with the music in a confident but still reserved way that keeps him locked on you long enough for someone else to notice.
“Han?” Felix nudges his bicep with his elbow, before adjusting his view to look at what his best friend is seeing. When he sees you, his mouth falls open into an ‘o’, gently shaking his head at his friend. “You’re cooked.”
That wakes him up.
“Huh? What-why?” He spins around, confused. “What makes you say that?”
Felix’s head drops to look at Jisung in a way that reads seriously? “Look at who you’re crushing on again, and then look at us man. That’s not happening.”
For some reason, he listens, taking something just a little too long to be considered a glance at you, before looking at himself. As much as he hates to admit it, Jisung isn’t exactly in your league.
You were the top of your class, outgoing, and disgustingly beautiful treasure of the student body. Meanwhile, to most people, Jisung was nothing short of a—well—a loser. Felix was just about his only friend, he spent most of his time failing his classes, and when he was free he was usually gaming with Felix or cooped up in his room with a guitar. They way he presented himself didn’t help either—way too oversized hoodies and sweats that made him look smaller than he was draping off his frame at all times.
With a sigh, his gaze drops to the floor before he follows after his blond friend. Felix tries to comfort him, patting his back and pulling a chair out for him in the kitchen. Jisung gladly takes it, slouching over the counter and mumbling for the stranger on the other side to hand him a water bottle.
“Listen man, it’s not your fault. She’s great, but not in your cards. It’s better you don’t get involved from the beginning,” Felix thanks the guy for Jisung’s water, before twisting the lid open and sliding it to his friend. “Plus, you know she has a thing with Hyunjin.”
Jisung nods. Unfortunately, he does know. Everyone does. It was hard not to with the way you two were always last to leave one of Hyunjin’s soccer games. Or with how he was always walking you to class, getting you lunch. The two of you might as well be dating already, but for some reason that nobody seems to know, you weren’t.
Jisung’s eyes find you again without trying, concentrating on how you look so breathtaking under the cheap strobe lights and the dimmed lamps that make your skin glow. What he would do for just one chance with you.
——
Jisung had gotten comfortable watching you from the ‘bar’ area after a while. It was what he normally did, anyway. Everything was they way it usually was.
Until he sees one of your friends pushing you a bit further in his direction, your face flushed as you shake your head. He hears you giggle as you lean into your friend’s shoulder, “Guys I don’t wanna play.”
Jisung quirks a brow.
“Nuh uh, you never play. And it’s my birthday, c’mon,” your friend pleads, tugging your arm as she does so. “Please [Y/N]…”
You groan, “Fine! Only because it’s your birthday.”
Without missing a beat, your friend snatches an empty beer bottle off one of the coffee tables. “Alright, who’s playing spin the bottle? [Y/N]’s playing tonight!”
Instantly people are forming a circle, rosy faces and sober ones alike. Felix jumps in too, though he would have regardless of your participation. Despite being Jisung’s only close friend, Felix was different from him. In fact, the whole reason he was here tonight at all was because of the blond party animal that was Lee Felix.
Which is the same reason he finds himself also sitting in the circle, although he’s tucked into himself tightly, waiting in anticipation for anything to happen.
The way your friends play spin the bottle is a bit different. Instead of just doing a quick kiss and moving on, whoever spins the bottle gets a choice. You can choose either a: truth, b: dare, or c: seven minutes in heaven. It had been Hyunjin’s idea in your freshman year to slice up the game a bit, claiming everything was too predictable in normal spin the bottle. Incredibly, it had caught on, and was the only version played at your school since then.
Your friend spins the bottle first, then someone else volunteers to go next, and Felix is all to eager for his turn. Whenever the bottle slows in front of you your friends shake your shoulders excitedly, before frowning deeply when it passes you once again. Jisung holds his breath every time.
Then finally, your friends decide it’s your turn. The birthday girl decides to spin it for you, and everyone quietly chants your name while they wait to see who’s the lucky person to be your first partner for spin the bottle in ages. Jisung’s half ready to watch it land on Hyunjin, mentally beating himself up in advance for even sitting here to witness such a thing.
Nobody expects it to stop on the hooded boy that most of them can’t even name.
Much less do they expect you to stand up from your spot on the floor, a shy yet playful smirk teasing at your lips. The circle erupts into a wave of oohs as you tilt your head towards the closet at the end of the hall, signaling for him to follow you.
Jisung is frozen in his seat, mouth slightly agape as he wonders if there was something in his water earlier because this cannot be happening to him. Felix chuckles, before whispering discreetly, “You’re screwing this up,” and pushing his friend encouragingly.
Blinking himself out of his surprised state, the rest of the group laughs at him in a sort of supportive amusement, cheering when he finally jogs behind you.
——
Jisung’s heart races uncontrollably as you pull him into the closet. His mouth is watering at the sight of you so close to him, his tongue darting out every few seconds to wet his lips that seem to be stuck in a never ending state of dryness. His hands are sweating more than he knew possible.
“Hey,” you smile at him, in of your arms coming to hang around his neck while your other one trails up his arm gently. Fuck, he thinks, this can’t be real.
“H-hi,” he chokes out, and he can imagine Felix’s facepalm at his clear awkwardness.
Yet, you giggle at him, eyes gleaming from the traces of light slipping through the cracks of the door frame. He feels his heart stutter. “I haven’t seen you at one of our parties before Han.”
“H-huh?” He sputters out, glancing between your hand that’s tracing his bicep oh so gently, your eyes that are sparkling at him, and your lips that look so pretty talking to him like this. “You know me?”
You nod, “We have a few classes together, your presentations always go wrong somehow,” you hum, before leaning a little closer to him, “you doing okay? I can back off—“
“N-no, wait—” he doesn’t even mean to cut you off, but his hands hold you in place gently as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear any second now. “I’m sorry I’m just—I’m nervous and I-I haven’t really done this kinda thing a lot.”
“Well we don’t have to,” you smile at him, your hand gently releasing the hair at the nape of his neck that you had been twirling between your fingers. “Do you want to kiss me, Han?”
“Please,” he manages to get out, cheeks flushing pink.
Your fingers make their way back into his chocolate locks, gripping them softly as you pull his mouth down to yours. Right before your lips connect, you pause.
“You know, I always thought you were cute.”
Before he can fully absorb what you’ve just said, you connect your mouths, smiling when you feel him shudder against you. You push him against the wall next to the door, using your hand that had been feeling up his arm to bring his stiff hand to your waist.
Jisung takes everything your giving him, his hands immediately snaking from your shoulders to your waist the moment you give him permission. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing when he pulls away and gives you a quick peck, before diving back into kissing you.
Honestly, he’s just going off instinct, and you can tell by the way he pulls you tighter to him. The way his hand that he just placed on your hips makes it’s way up to your face to rest of your cheek. All of his movements are staggered and nervous, and you can’t lie. You’re enjoying it. A lot.
But not as much as he is. Jisung swears he must have died and gone to heaven with the way you’re touching him right now. The arm that was previously squeezing at his bicep has relocated to his chest and stomach, your neatly manicured nails grazing him so softly that his knees might give out beneath him.
You’re doing everything he’s ever framed of you doing to him, and letting him touch you back. He can’t even think about hiding his desperation for you with how much he’s squeezing you under his fingers. Not to mention the deep sighs and hums he fails repeatedly to keep inside his throat.
It’s not his fault you’re everything he’s ever wanted.
Once again, he pulls away, breathing hard as he looks up to the ceiling. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to act right now, his hand falling from your face back to your shoulder where it started and his other one staying at a light hover above your hip. Did you always kiss so intensely?
He doesn’t get the chance to really think about it before he feels your lips on him again—only this time they’re on his jaw.
Jisung sees stars.
“Oh fuck, please,” he whines out, eyes squeezing shut.
You hum against him as you work your way down to his neck, and then his collarbone.
Then, as quickly as you’d started kissing him, you pull away from him almost completely. All he can do is look at you like you’d hung the stars in the sky all on your own, barely able to catch his breath.
You run your hand against his chest one more time, taking a deep breath, and whispering to him, “Sorry, our times up. I’ll see you later, though.”
Jisung is still frozen against the wall when you open the door, absolutely drunk on everything you had just done to him. He doesn’t even fully register the fact that you’ve typed your number into his phone before your winking at him and returning to the circle. It’s only when he hears Felix’s deep voice come from the hallway that he realizes he’s still standing in the doorway alone for way too long.
“Someone’s a lucky guy,” Felix grins, throwing an arm around his best friends shoulders. His eyes widen a bit when he sees Jisung’s collarbone, pride and surprise filling him simultaneously. “A really lucky guy, apparently.”
“Huh?” Jisung says, barely coming to. He follows Felix’s finger to where it’s pointing, only to see the light red mark you left him during your time in the closet.
As Felix is giving him props for somehow managing to get your attention—and apologizing for his earlier comments—Jisung’s phone dings and he sees an unfamiliar number on his screen.
(***)***-****
Drive me home later? This is [Y/N] btw <3
He doesn’t even hesitate to agree.
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