#jackass two

[junkracc00n]

i did not think jackass 2 would be as life changing as it was

[noclueman06]

Chat…

This is how I feel right now. Like I’m talking to myself and going crazy.

[myoddessy]

hey! Hope this isn’t annoying or to much but I would love it if you wrote a hcs for the jackass cast dating a female cast member, who is the craziest one, she’s done for anything and everything no matter how weird, dangerous, or insane it is. i guess pretty much a girl who is like johnny and steve o combined. I see to many ones with girls who are shy or scared, and they are so boring. can’t wait to see what you write, even if it’s not this!

YES OHMYGOSH whenever i imagine a female jackass member, she's always batshit insane and i love it so much- for these hcs, i did johnny, bam, and steve-o but if you want to see some others then i'll do them asap

RECKLESS CREW MEMBER!S/O

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE !!

you guys are fucking terrifying oh my god-

okay but let's start with the fact that nobody was surprised when you ended up together. like, you both do so many stunts together because you're both up for anything that it was only a matter of time before you started dating.

whether it's the classic johnny knoxville or the gorgeous silver foxville, this man has no shame and with loudly say the most inappropriate shit when you do a dangerous stunt.

"my ding ding's harder than a turnbuckle" is automatically associated with you bleeding in some way atp.

that being said, he gets really worried about you when you do some of the crazier stunts .

you'd 100% be jeff's fav because you're down for anything, but he could honestly go without johnny clinging to his arm like a worried mother when you're in the bull ring.

overall, 10/10 power couple ( unhinged version )

BAM MARGERA !!

he thinks you're crazy hot but, like, in a psychopathic way

like, he knows your batshit insane and that's one of the main reasons he finds you so hot if that makes sense

pls make fun of him for throwing up easily, idc if you aren't much better, he gets so pissy and it makes for great content

another one who's scared for you but will also be the one suggesting you for death-defying stunts most of the time

97% of the time, if someone other than jeff volunteers you for a stunt, it's bam

the other three percent is probably johnny because nobody else wanted to do the stunt and he played it off as if you were the first choice

bam doesn't volunteer you out of spite or a want to see you nearly snap your neck, he just does it because he knows you can handle it and knows you'll love the footage that comes out of the stunt — regardless as to whether or not you get fucking ragdolled

i can see you and jeff rubbing your hands together like scheming flies when you plan a but where you're working with snakes that are kind of wrapped around your arms and you're totally chill about it, but bam gets called in and loses his shit

overall, 9/10 he's heart eyes 24/7 but an instigating little shit

STEVE-O !!

oh he gets so happy when he finds out your down to do any stunt

will definitely bring you along for wildboyz and will refuse to comment on you showing him up on stunts and shit

yk that one scene in 3.5 (i think??) where he says that when filming wildboyz, he refused to do a bungee jump? you definitely did that instead of him just for funsies

i mentioned it in the bam segment, but you'd both do so many wildboyz bits with animals and you'd both eat shit nearly every time but you don't care because it's funny

i can see you both getting really competitive over who can do the most disgusting thing and not hurl when everyone's drunk at someone's house...

spike probably intervened after you snorted a line of salt and pepper off of ryan's ass

overall, 9 and a half/10 purely because you'd both be incredibly scary to be around and idk if that's a good thing or not

[dunnswrld]

Hcs or smut with paparazzi!reader w Johnny or Ryan, like a ‘we shouldn’t be doing this’ kinda dynamic w tension you could cut w a knife

omgomgomgomg i love this, so sorry for not making it smut like you asked though anon- ig i got carried away in my own thoughts haha!

it would be at the red carpet event for jackass two, johnny was in a black suit and tie. johnny looked great, everyone there knew that including himself.

your big blocky camera hung around your neck as your hands seemed to tighten your grip on it when you saw johnny walking onto the red carpet. his famous smile on full display, it could really lighten up a room.

you now understood why everyone was practically crazy for this man, he was so handsome. from his short brown hair to his beat up black converse, he was just so good looking.

you looked down at your outfit which completely contrasted his own. jeans, a t-shirt, and your beater sneakers. apart of you wishes you would’ve dressed up more if you knew johnny would practically be two arms lengths away from you.

you were brought out of your thoughts when other papparazzi behind you were yelling johnny’s name while shoving others around to try and get a better spot. you quickly began to almost lock yourself in front of the barricade so you wouldn’t lose your spot. you were front row and could get the best shots imaginable and you weren’t going to lose that big paycheck.

you quickly began snapping photos of johnny, which only let you admire him even more through the lens of your camera. his sunglasses covered his eyes when he smiled but you could tell just from the smile plastered on his lips that the smile was genuine.

but what you didn’t know was that under those sunglasses johnny was looking straight at you. he watched you shove other people behind you with cameras back as you quickly took some shots and would quickly begin to take more.

he thought you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen, which was so odd to him because for him all paparazzi people were old grown men who were not the nicest people when it came to taking photos of others. but you looked so sweet, like you wouldn’t hurt a fly.

well that was until johnny watched you snap backwards and tell off some guy behind you,

“hey asshole have you ever heard of personal space? i can feel your dick on my back so back up a bit before i knock you on your ass.”

the guy immediately raising his hands in defense and spewing out what johnny could only guess were apologies.

you turned back around to your original standing position still rather annoyed from the old guy behind you who thought it was okay to press his body so close to yours just to get some stupid photo everyone else was getting.

but when you turned around you saw johnny standing so close in front of you. both his hands gripping the iron bar of the barricade, he rested his weight on one foot as his sunglass hung lowly on his nose. just enough for you to see his dark brown eyes looking at you.

you didn’t know if you should snap a photo or say something, everyone else around you snapping photos and yelling for johnny to look at them but instead of looking at them he kept looking at you.

“hey there.”

“um- hi.”

“come here often?”

“only when im paid too.”

johnny laughed at your joke, the same laugh you’ve heard countless times on tv finally falling into your ears in real life. but what was even better was that you made the johnny knoxville laugh.

seeing him so close was so odd, the sound of cameras flashing and people yelling seemed to wash out as only background noise. they completely lost any and all of your attention as you looked at the man in front of you.

“ya gettin’ paid to take photos of me?”

“yeah but it’s weird when you say it out loud though.”

“whatever pays the bills right?”

you nervously laughed, you were too scared to say anything back to johnny in fear you’d say the wrong thing and ruin everything. but johnny lifted one of his hands off the bar of the barricade and stuck it put in front of you.

“im johnny knoxville.”

“obviously you are. everyone knows you.”

“yeah but i don’t know you, what’s your name?”

“its-”

“hey knoxville lets go! you’re making us late!”

your head turned to the sound of bam margera’s voice, he was jogging over to you and johnny and once he was close enough he was tugging johnny away from you.

“bam- knock it off for a second!”

“we’re late you can get interviewed later jackass.”

you watched as bam pulled johnny away from you, even with johnny trying to break from his grip he couldn’t. you watched johnny’s head turn over his shoulder to see you standing with your camera in your hands. lifting one of your hands off your expensive camera you waved gently to him with a smile, that was the last he saw of you before turning a corner and losing sight of you in the crowd.

[my-st0ff]

Self-Inflicted

Chapter Two

Fandom: Jackass

Pairing: Johnny Knoxville x female reader

Chapter Song: NYC - Snow Patrol

Two bodies, one significantly taller than the other, move clumsily into the hotel room. The reckless nocking of furniture and other pieces of clutter being due to the two of your keeping your eyes screwed shut as your lips press together. P.J's hands are everywhere all at once. You want this so bad, you've wanted this. You pull him by the collar of his T-shirt to the edge of the bed. Now finally making eye contact, he smirks - devilish. He catches a pile of cameras in the corner of his eye and jogs over to them in the corner.

P.J: "Is this on?"

You: "Those are the pile of broken ones- quit stallin' we ain't got time"

He starts to walk casually back to you with his hands in his pockets.

P.J: "See, that's where you're wrong. We got all the time in the world, toots"

One hand escapes a small pocket of his Dickies and cups your cheek, the rough pad of his thumb brushing back and forth of your cheekbone. He glances at the bed you both stand beside.

P.J: "You sure you wanna do this? We don't have to- of course. It's just, you switched up pretty fast"

You: "Hey, sex is different. We can still... satisfy our needs without having to ruin what we've got"

P.J: "I suppose your right... in that case"

His mouth launches toward yours with carnal instinct. You bring your hands up to play with his hair roughly, making him moan into your mouth as you make out animalisticly. Since you'd decided this was only about sex, you'd both silently agreed this was finally the time to let out all your horny tension on one another. His hands move to your hips and squeeze them painfully hard. P.J whispers a low "fuck" into your mouth when your body perfectly fills out his hands. You both twist round so that you can sit on the bed with him standing in-between your legs, looking down at you. He brushes a hand through his slick hair quickly.

P.J: "lay back"

You do as he says, and soon enough, hear belt buckle sounds and then the distinct noise of metal and leather hitting the ground.

P.J: " One last time, are you sure?"

He asks whilst literally standing over you with his penis out.

You: "my god, yes P.J!"

P.J: "no need for the attitude"

He says and then immediately his cock is inside you, almost a sort of punishment for being sassy.

You: "Oh my god!"

P.J folds his body over and hooks one arm around you so that he can pull you up to him and kiss you whilst he pumps in and out of you not so gently.

You: "Y-you feel amazing, Phillip"

The use of his full first name leaves him a moaning wreck all of a sudden. You were the only one who still called him that, and for that case, the only one he wouldn't mind calling him that. This instance, though, left him feeling needy as you affirmed it over a few times after soon catching onto the power it held. You bring your hands up between your bodies so you can rub his chest up and down with the palms of your hands.

P.J: "Oh, y/n, I-I am so close"

You: "already?"

You giggle and tease.

P.J: "Oh, its l-like that, huh?"

With that, he pushes harder and faster than he ever had before, leaving your insides feeling warm from your tummy down to your feet.

You: "mm- oh, fuck, don't stop!"

You cry in a high squealing voice you'd find embarrassing in any other context.

P.J: "I- I'm gonna- where'd you want me?"

He asks frantically, his head dropping to suck hig chunks of skin from your neck into his mouth.

You: "my stomach!"

You shriek with no time to really think about where you wanted it. With that, he pulls out and immediately cums a massive amount onto your stomach. Without even time to complain about your unsatisfied state, he was on his knees before you with a handful of thigh in each hand. He licks his lips whilst staring at your core with eyes that indicated total worship before his mouth was fully dived into you. His tongue moved proficiently, hitting a good spot straight away.

You: "Don't move! Oh my god, right there don't fuckin' move!"

You yelp whilst you shake and jolt on your back. It didn't take barely anything to push you over the edge. When you cum your arms start frantically searching everywhere over the bed for something to grab onto. He notices and throws a hand up from where it was on your thigh so you can grab ahold of it with brutal strength. Finally upur lungs deflate and your body goes limp and tingly. His head flops in-between your legs and he lazily pecks at your inner thigh with his eyes shut. He then pulls said thigh towards his face so he can kiss over it further, tickling you. You giggle a little, making him huff in laughter as you fidget and eventually pull away.

You: "That was... fun"

You sigh, P.J pushes himself up with wobbly knees just to collapse next to you on the bed, still panting.

P.J: "Fun? That was mindblowin', y/n"

You roll onto your side to face him.

You: "Your right. That was amazing, Phillip"

He swiftly does the same with his body so he can face you, your faces inches away from one another.

P.J: "God, keep callin' me that and we're gonna have to go again"

You: "What, your name?"

You tease.

P.J: "You know what your doin'"

You both laugh a little, full of blissful serotonin. Your pupils wander the walls of the hotel room until they lock onto a picture you couldn't believe you'd not noticed before.

You: "God, that's gorgeous, ain't it?"

P.J lazily flops his head over so he's looking at the same framed painting.

P.J: "sure, where'd you reckon that is?"

You: "Oh I know where that is, P.J. That's Sucre, in Bolivia. Only the best city in the world"

You smile.

P.J: "When did you go to Bolivia?"

You: "I haven't, that's the problem. Sucre is number one on my bucket list"

P.J: "Bucket list? Your not 90"

You: "Might as well be. I think my life expectancy went down a significant amount when Jackass formed, Jammy"

The nickname you only ever call him when you're in a soft mood rolls off your tongue and brings great joy to his ears. A warm, large hand of his lands on your stomach and strokes it gently in a comforting manor.

P.J: "Don't talk like that, toots. I'll protect ya'"

He speaks softly.

P.J: "And hey, I could take you there... but I don't know how to get there"

You: "You'd take me to Sucre?"

P.J: "Course I would, I knew you'd always been interested in Japan and got the first movie set in Japan didn't I?"

You: "Mhm... your too sweet"

You yawn, allowing his exploration of your torso to continue.

[myoddessy]

spike jonze makes me giggle and kick my feet like a schoolgirl

[f0ckusername]

[f0ckusername]