#jackbeard

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

frenchie/ed is like calicobeard but emotionally healthy. send tweet.

[medievill]

check out my mediumly-extensive selection of mostly gentlebeard fics. more below the cut—

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

wild is the wind: M! Stede/Ed. 75,850 (complete!). film-noir!AU. Wellington, 1942: Stede Bonnet, the only son of a powerful local businessman, is missing, and it’s Blackbeard Investigations’ Ed Teach’s job to find him. Ed finds him, no problem—but when he finds out why Stede ran, he can’t bring himself to finish the job. to make matters worse, Stede has something valuable of his father's, and Bonnet will stop at nothing to get it back. the thing is, though...Ed's found something of value, too: Stede. and Ed's not giving him up without a fight.

there's always an escape: T! Stede/Ed (sort of). 500. Ed's looking for a way out. he finds one, and then he finds one more. (cw: suicidality)

fuck 'em, only we know: E! Stede/Ed. 6,402. Ed publicly calls Stede Zaddy. then privately calls him Daddy. events proceed as expected.

forget your perfect offering: M! Stede/Ed. 13,161 (and counting). When Ed sees a flyer on his staff’s memo board for a support group that claims the best revenge is living well!, he figures: whatever. Who cares. Doesn't matter, but maybe he ought to. Might as well just. Ugh. Go?

the harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the song: an in-progress 5-part series in which Ed teaches Stede how to soft Dom him into oblivion.

tell me something I don’t know: M! Stede/Ed. 8,312. Stede wants to give Ed everything, but that means Ed’s going to have to tell him what that is. Out loud. With words. Ugh.

hold me like water, or, christ, hold me like a knife: M! Stede/Ed. 5,391. Stede has noticed some preferences of Ed’s that he wants to talk about.

the best things in life come in threes: M! Stede/Ed. 371. Off-page sex, on-page snuggles.

kinktober 2023 prompts: E!

got no reason, got no shame (praise kink, "be good for me"): pre-canon Jack/Ed. 1,637. Jack's an idiot, but he's not stupid.

bait/switch (edging): Stede/Ed. 752. Ed invents edging. Stede's mad about it.

a more advanced trick of the trade (“let me take care of you,” face-fucking): Stede/Ed. 6,064. Stede takes his sword and runs Ed through. Again. Very soon after the first time. Too soon, probably.

the happiest place on earth (is here with you): M! Stede/Ed. 33,082 (complete!). wildly self-indulgent Walt Disney World!AU, featuring macarons at Epcot, fireworks on the Seven Seas Lagoon beach, and sexually tense Monorail rides. AuDHD Ed + autistic Stede. crack treated seriously.

kinktober 2022 prompts: E!

the romance of it all (choking): Stede(/Ed). 1,414. Stede figures some stuff out about himself on his way to Ed.

he’s so bad but he does it so well (dirty talk): pre-canon Jack/Ed. 1,787. Jack runs his mouth. Ed is into it.

we lay here for years or for hours (pegging): trans!Stede/Ed. 1,690. a little cock worship, as a treat.

it’s just that I’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you (wall sex + fingering): Stede/Ed. 2,598. Ed is good at everything, including waiting, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get sick of it.

carve your name in my bedpost (whipping): pre-canon Jack/Ed. 2,258. Ed submits to the mortifying deal of being known, by Calico Jack of all people.

a constellation of tears on your lashes (gags/drooling, thigh fucking, dacryphilia): post-canon Stede/Ed. 8,449. Ed asks Stede to, you know, whatever, it doesn’t matter, but what if he, like, made Ed cry. As a…whatever. As a sex thing.

it’s all good; I wish you would: E! Stede/Ed. 19,119. post-reunion and our captains have made up. it’s just that they haven’t touched yet and it’s making Ed bonkers.

taking the helm: E! Stede/Ed. 14,184. Ed’s exhausted, and Stede wants to relieve him of his decision fatigue (with pretty clothes + delicious food + [of course] sex).

a moment of weakness: E! Stede/Ed. 16,950. medium-angsty reunion fic, plus hair-washing! and banging!

[fashnik3]

Bored and kind of obsessed with the Hornigold era trio right now so allow me to share some of my salacious and not so salacious headcanons with y’all.

Ed and Jack were both on Hornigold’s ship as crewmen rather close in age

Izzy was there before them and is a bit older than them and was in higher standing on the ship than they were.

Ed’s ambition, resourcefulness, and flair for the dramatic quickly caught Izzy and their captain’s attention. Jack less so because he came off more as the reckless jackass that followed in Ed’s step.

Hornigold never had any romantic or sexual interest in the trio (sorry I know that’s popular in the fandom)

Izzy started offering more opportunities and a higher share of all loot to Ed as a means of getting closer to him so he could build Ed’s reputation on the sea more. Izzy could see Hornigold growing older and weaker and could see Ed had the most potential to captain next besides himself (which he had no actual interest in).

This got on Jack’s nerves quite a bit. Ed was his best friend after all and this Izzy snob is just gonna come in and try to spend all this time with Ed and steal him away?

Jack constantly made jokes about how Izzy was just trying to get in Ed’s pants by sweetening him up with a higher share of the loot.

Jack proposed matelotage to Ed since he was getting a greater share they might as well both benefit.

Ed full on rejects Jacks proposal thinking he’s only joking.

Jack’s next strategy is to get on Izzy’s good side in hopes of getting ahead and getting more time with Edward. Ed obliviously let’s Jack invite himself on he and Izzy’s errands and misadventures, eventually establishing them as a trio.

This gets on Izzy’s nerves. He doesn’t like Jack at all but will play nice for Edward’s sake.

Post mutiny, Jack was Ed’s first pick for first mate, but after the incident with the French vessel Ed was angry with how far Jack had pushed him into violence and threw him off the ship, designating Izzy the new first mate, ultimately the smarter choice from the beginning.

Now onto the nsfw shit

Izzy is a masochist, a sub. And a bottom. These are just his preferences. He’s still one of the most fearsome and deadly pirates that ever sailed, he’s no wilting Lily. It takes a tough man to get pleasure out of the shit Izzy’s into. If it were up to him he’d probably be in some 24/7 dynamic with Ed.

Ed is a sadomasochist, leaning more on the masochist side, and a verse that prefers bottoming.

Jack is a straight up sadist and verse. He’d love to bottom for Ed but won’t look the gift horse that is getting to fuck Ed, in the mouth so to speak. It does however make him incredibly jealous of the fact that Ed will fuck Izzy and do all that crazy depraved dom shit that turns that old grouch into an agreeable puddle of dopamine.

Ed treats sex with Jack differently from how he treats sex with Izzy because he cares about and maybe even loves Izzy while Jack is just fun to him.

Because of this Ed wishes Izzy would fuck him or at least let Ed be gentle with him. Constantly hurting and degrading Iz takes an emotional toll on him.

Jack on the other hand gets off on all that shit with Izzy. The whole of their sexual encounters is hate sex with lots of degradation flowing both ways.

Despite Jack sincerely being into all that, he’s chaotic and disorganized and doesn’t apply the right amount of structure and personal touch to domming that Ed does which is what Izzy ultimately craves.

So there you have it, all the reasons they work but fundamentally don’t work as a triad.

[ourflagmeansgifts]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

For @lieutenantdru

Rating: M

Words: 2131

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, "Calico" Jack Rackham, Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Israel Hands & "Calico" Jack Rackham, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/"Calico" Jack Rackham

Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tags: fucked up relationship dynamics, filling in holes in canon, Past Relationship(s), Unrequited Love, Pining, not mutual, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, unrequited pining, Canon-Typical Violence

For the prompt: How did Izzy find CJ and talk him into, well, seducing Ed away?

"Luckily, if all the world burned, Jack would be the cockroach under a stone, content and well-fed no matter when he’s going to be exposed to the light again."

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

very funny that people think Ed would choose "marry Jack/ fuck Izzy" you don't act like Jack does while pulling the hotties he's pulled unless you lay some Olympic pipe

oh man i want to agree with you so bad bc ed deserves to have fantastic sex (and he will, eventually, with stede, but he deserves it before that too) however for personal reasons i have a different headcanon re: cj’s performance in bed

also i don’t know enough abt the anne bonny situation to even begin to speculate how jack scored with her (personally my fingers are crossed that she turns out to be just as unhinged and chaotic neutral as jack) but the thing that we have to understand about ed and jack is that yes jack is an annoying douche but ed likes hanging out with him. i feel like a lot of this fandom always casts jack as like a shitty ex boyfriend or writes their relationship as primarily consisting of them hooking up but canonically we see ed having a GREAT time hanging out with ed!!! they’re fuckbuddies emphasis on buddies, the sex is literally secondary to their friendship (bc yes even tho ed says he has no friends and also cj says they’re not friends, by most people’s definition jack IS a friend, just a very shitty one)! fucking (or “buggering” lol) is something they do from time to time, but it is not the only thing they do. in their adult life they’ve probably hooked up every time they ran into each other but not until after they partied together all night.

anyway this ask was sent in response to this poll where MY question is “why are people voting for fuck izzy/marry stede/kill jack obviously ed would rather marry jack and kill izzy” bc like. Canonically. we know that ed has fucked jack. meanwhile there is zero evidence that ed and izzy have ever hooked up AND ALSO when izzy was horny for ed choking him ed looked visibly disgusted and afraid. izzy’s little cheek stroke and “there he is” made ed’s dick shrivel up and hide inside his pelvis. he is not picking fuck izzy.

one more thing tho, bc while in my head cj is only okay at sex, i will say one thing about him:

people with penises don’t pee like ^this^ unless they’re intentionally trying to show off their dick. i cannot fathom any other reason for why jack is doing some avant-garde hands-free pissing strategy in this scene. the man is gripping that bamboo like he’s trying to commune with nature and his dick is just free-hanging in the breeze. he is putting his junk on Display and that is because he is confident in his package.

calico jack may or may not be good in bed but he definitely has a massive dong.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

@batsarebetterthanpeople hello im now obsessed w the blackhands divorce proceedings. no idea what your plan is for ur comic but in my mind stede is ed's lawyer and ed picked him bc he's been staring at stede's billboard ad every day on his way to work for like three years and he has a crush on him. stede is a personal injury lawyer but ed shows up at his firm dressed as slutty as possible and stede is just like "YES i'll be your lawyer!" and then gives all his cases to lucius to focus solely on the blackhands divorce and he doesnt sleep for a month bc he has to learn how divorce law works

and calico jack is ed's old friend and during the blackhands marriage era he'd roll into town every now and then and ed would cheat on izzy. izzy never had proof but like, he knows and jack is knows he knows but he always plays dumb when izzy confronts him. jack is also a lawyer but he's been temporarily suspended from practicing law so many times he's lost count. his most recent suspension JUST ended right when ed hired stede, so jack goes to izzy and offers to be his lawyer and izzy is like "absolutely the fuck not" but then every lawyer izzy goes to drops him after spending like, ten minutes in izzy's presence, and eventually word gets around and nobody will even meet with izzy. and THEN izzy only lets jack be his lawyer because he has literally no other choice

all four of them have toxic cringefail sex with each other at least once. it is the world's messiest divorce and it drags on for at least a full year

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

making my tags on this old post by @batsarebetterthanpeople into their own post bc i can. anyway modern calicojack au:

#ok but im obsessed w the idea that somehow jack doesnt know ed is gay#(either bc ed is still in the closet at 19 or jack is just really fucking unobservant. probably the 2nd one)#and they fuck for like a year before they drift apart somehow idk maybe one of them moves or something#and they ''keep in touch'' aka occasionally send nudes on snapchat and hook up if theyre in town#so when jack comes out as bi 5 years later it's on facebook or smthng. instagram. idk.#but then he DMs ed like:#''hey blackie long time no fuck haha anyway ive done some soul searching and i think fucking you in the ass WAS kinda gay-''#''-but it's okay bc im not like GAY gay. i like fucking bros AND bitches but when i fuck bros i'm not like a girl about it yknow? so like-'#''-i just wanted to reach out bc i've been thinking abt all the times we helped each other out and like-''#''-bro u liked taking it up the ass WAY too much for a straight guy. like u might wanna do some soul-searching abt that.''#and he ends this with a dick pic and a winky face emoji and the sentence ''to help you self-reflect''#meanwhile ed owns a gay bar and has a rainbow flag in his uhhh facebook profile or instagram bio idk#ed texts back ''jack im gay'' and then jack thinks that his text is how ed discovered his sexuality. ed never corrects him.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

recommend me a good fanfic i am in the mood

in the interest of giving you something while you're still in the mood i'm gonna throw a bunch of recommendations that either i've read in the past week or so, or they're fics that are pretty popular and you've probably heard of them before (instead of harboring this ask in my inbox for like a full month while i comb through a huge list of fics i haven't read in a while and can't exactly remember what happened in them, which is what i WANT to do when asked to recommend fics)

in general tho, i have a bunch of ofmd fics bookmarked, which means i liked them a LOT when i read them. the ofmd fics that i bookmarked as Recs are fics that i've re-read at least once and can confirm they were good

all at sea by @peaktotheocean: (T, 14k, complete) jim-centric post-s1 fix-it.

What Kind of Pirate Has a Friend? by tardigrape (@thetardigrape): (E, 30k, complete) ed/jack backstory, also sort of a blackbeard origin story. 10/10 in my book for not having izzy in it at all

In Favor with Their Stars by @mxmollusca:: (M, 62k, complete) blackbonnet sci-fi au. ed is an engineer who gets woken up early on his way to a research job studying one of Jupiter's moons. STE/DE is the ship's AI. gay robot love.

Now I Will Believe That There Are Unicorns by angrybratzlady (@meanmisscharles): (M, 14k, incomplete) trans!ed gets pregnant. INCREDIBLY cute fic

literally any ofmd fic by alsaurus (@ofmd-alsaurus): (E, 3k-11k, all complete) there's nine of these and they're almost all PWP oneshots (only one is multichapter, and the ones that aren't PWP are still mostly porn) and they're genuinely so good. ed and stede have incredibly weird and silly sex and it is SO in character.

this tired world could change by gangnamstiles (@sassygwaine): (E, 95k, complete) modern au blackbonnet that is SO fucking good, one of my absolute favorites. it has a sequel (still burning, still bright when the night comes; E, 115k, incomplete) and also a whole bunch of other oneshots in a series (a love that won't sit still;T-E, 235k, incomplete) and all of it is *chefs kiss*

there are others bookmarked and also i have a lot of stuff i've been meaning to read but haven't gotten to, but quickly skimming my bookmarks these are some of the fics that i remember being really good