#james and barty

[moonyswarmsweaters]

*Someone being an ass trying to humiliate to regulus*

James: Barty, give me your Knife

Barty: Why?

James: jinxs aren't enough, I want to stab him

Barty: *handing the biggest knife on him* Finally some common ground

[moonyswarmsweaters]

-Regulus regreting introducing Barty and James to befriend each other-

Regulus: Well, it's like Barty always says-

James : 'I'll give you three hundred dollars to crush this watermelon with your thighs.'?

Regulus: What?

James: ‘If you hurt Regulus I will cut off your dick and put it on display.’? Regulus: ...

James: 'First one back to the hall gets pegged by Regulus!' ?

Regulus: ...

James: 'If this quill doesn't gain sentience and try to kill me in my sleep you owe me a 10k.'?

Regulus: Please stop.

James: 'While you and Regulus fuck me and Evan will too and we’ll see who’s louder once for all'?

Regulus: Stop! Talking! I should have never introduced you two assholes

James: You love me, truly

[urfavsherlockholmeskinnie]

Barty: James, I don't like you.

James: What did you say?

Barty: You heard me!

James, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

[urfavsherlockholmeskinnie]

Barty: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed.

James: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Barty!

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Barty: is it because of the money?

Regulus: What?

Barty: Is it to piss off Sirius?

Regulus: Barty.

Barty: merlin. Is it huge? Is that why?? Boo you whore

Regulus: Barty I swear-

James, still undressed undercover in Regulus’s bed: hey-

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: you need to learn how to react properly when James is upset. He is my fucking boyfriend so you need to be better.

Barty: I did react properly!

Regulus: you rolled your eyes!!

Barty: so did you!

Barty: that's better than last week. James fell from his broom cutting his head open and Barty started laughing and pointing.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Im straight

Barty, showing up for thin air: STRAIGHT?!

Barty: I’ve seen the way you look at potter the only thing you are is STRAIGHT UP LYING

Barty: You can’t even WALK straight without falling over you think Im gonna fall for that?!

Barty: who are we fucking kidding here?

Regulus:

[mooonyagedaydream]

james and barty