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Joshua during Marble Bros

Habit(ual words)

Member: Joshua Genre: Angst

Joshua x Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Like a habitual saying that he desperately looked for you as he called for you.

It was two in the morning, that's what the clock at his bedside table told him when he got up suddenly because he felt a emptiness beside him. It was like that for him for so long, he’d forget that you were no longer there. It was a habit, you used to do the same, he was gone so much that you had to make sure he was there sleeping beside you. You always wanted to make sure you weren't dreaming and that's why he did it too. No, Joshua wasn't dreaming. You weren't there. You hadn't been there and you weren't going to be there. You weren't to blame though. It was his fault.

--- "Josh. I know it's short notice but my parents just came into town and are insisting they meet you. Now I know it's nerve wracking and all but..." you said as you looked through your mail, standing at the kitchen counter. He scoffed as his hand ran roughly through his hair. He was annoyed with you, again. "What is it Josh?" You asked, your eyes flickering from the many envelopes in front of you to the figure seated on your living room couch busily flipping through channels. He didn't say anything, he didn't want to say anything. "Well then. Are you okay with dinner tomorrow night? You'd have to get a new outfit though, oh and also-" "Y/N!" He finally said rising from the couch, interrupting your rambling. You looked at him stunned at the fact he yelled. You couldn't muster up any words, you just looked at your agitated boyfriend who, now that you payed close attention had dark circles under his eyes making it seem like the color was drained from his face. "I don't want to meet your parents, I don't want to go out and get a new outfit, I don't want to go to a dinner and lie about our happiness, my happiness." At this point you were unknowingly shedding tears, as you looked at the person you loved. You felt a pang in your chest as he spoke those words, you couldn't believe it. This wasn't Joshua, your Joshua. "Josh..." you mumbled. "Y/N, I'm tired. I'm tired of being in this relationship. I'm tired because of work and I'm tired because of you." It was as if he had ripped out your heart and you dropped the envelopes on the floor. "I think it'd be better if we break up. We could stop the hurting, for both of us." You stared down at the floor that was decorated with scattered papers. "Please Joshua. Why?" You pleaded. "Please. I'll stop annoying you with my useless talk but please." He ignored you and continued. "I'll sleep on the couch tonight and take all my things tomorrow. You can keep the apartment, I'll go back to the dorms." He said feeling his heart shake at the sight of you. Your head thrown down in disbelief, staring down at the floor, silently sobbing. "Josh I love you." "I'm sorry Y/N. It's for the best." And that was that. You left the mess on the floor and headed for your shared bedroom and packed up all your belongings as you continued sobbing. Why? What was wrong? What could've possibly turned your relationship to this in a matter of minutes? You loved him so much, you didn't care you could barely see him as long as you were by his side. It wasn't enough though. As soon as he fell asleep, you left to your best friends place leaving behind an unbothered Joshua. --- He felt the breakup wouldn't affect him, but it did. Even to this day, years after the break up, he was hung up on you. He wasn't at first, but as time went by and he no longer saw or heard of you it hit him. You left- no you didn't leave he chased you away- with no trace of your existence lingering behind. You changed your phone number and your best friend wouldn't tell him where you were. He hurt you and he regretted it. You were heartbroken but you expected it, with Joshua being as busy as he was, your relationship began to lose its spark. You'd get into useless arguments and you'd try to come to a compromise but he just didn't even try. At the end he just stopped listening to you, stopped picking up on the small details, and just gave up he was tired of it. It took you countless months and weeks to finally be able to hear his name without bursting into tears and you were able to go out and meet people again instead of isolating yourself. You were finally you and you hoped he was happy too. He hadn't heard about you so he naturally assumed you were doing the same as he was. No one had told him though.

He was out for a walk, his best friend Jeonghan had insisted he get out to buy snacks for their movie marathon. But really the older boy wanted his dear friend to get some fresh air because besides for work he would never leave his apartment. Unlike you, Joshua couldn't move on, couldn't go out and meet people all he did was isolate himself. It was one of the coldest nights of the month and all he had on was a thin shirt, he didn't care enough to wear a jacket even though his friend yelled out to him to wear one before he left, because he knew he was going to be out for a while, he always took the longest path to and from the mini mart. Joshua hadn't been out in a Saturday night in years, Saturday's were your usual date nights so he felt it unfit if he went out without you. He heard the bustling nightlife as he walked, he lived so close to downtown that it was always so busy, always so filled to the brim with people; couples, families, literally everyone but him. Even the mini mart he frequented was full but he managed to get out there in ten minutes tops. So he walked with bags in his hands trying to swerve people and get back home and it was working until he heard a familiar name being called out. "Y/N!" He stopped and looked up so quick, that if he had looked up just a bit faster his neck would've snapped. I feel my lips dry, the lips that used to call you so much. He thought, he hadn't heard that name out loud in a while. He saw you standing on the sidewalk waving at the person in a passing car. To say you looked beautiful would be an understatement, you looked like yourself but different. He hadn't realized how much he missed hearing your name, no one would dare mention it in his presence because it would snap him into a daze: I realized then, like a habitual saying that I desperately looked for you as I called for you. He stood there, staring at you not knowing what to do, he quickly reached for his phone. He felt as if he were to collapse. He went through his messages clicking on the familiar contact name 'Hannie' and started to type. And just as he was about to send a message of help to his best friend he heard you. "Joshua?" The name slipped from your lips easily, maybe too easy. He lifted his head to face you, a blush crept slowly into his cheeks as you looked at him. You walked towards him, you didn't know why, he didn't know either he had broken your heart, why were you so happy? "Y/N..." he let the name slip out his lips,the lips that used to call you so much. He missed how he would call your name. "Hey, how are you?" You said and he didn't know what to say. He stayed quiet pondering if he should just say he's fine and move on with his night or if he should tell you the truth. The truth that consisted of him being miserable, of him missing you and wanting for you to feel the same and come back to him. "I'm...fine..." he could barely finish saying because he felt like he was going to throw up. He looked up at you, his eyes managing to avoid your gaze. He continued standing there playing with the bags in his hands, quietly. It felt awkward, the conversation between you two and you hoped you'd be able to find an excuse to leave it. He sensed it too but he wanted to stay here and bask in your presence. So he decided to end the awkwardness. "How about you? How are you?" "I'm good, great actually. I'm actually going to get dinner with my parents right now, kind of an important day." You said as you brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear and that's when he noticed it. The beautiful diamond that sat on your ring finger, he felt his stomach drop and his throat go dry. A million emotions went flying through his head and he could hear his best friends voice in the back of his head "Shua stop being so miserable and keeping things to yourself. Let her know or else it'll keep eating at you." It was now or never for Joshua so he decided it'd be now. "I lied..." "Hmm?" You looked up at him half confused half concerned at what he was going to say. "I lied. I'm not fine." "What do you mean?" You say at the boy standing in front of you. "I wanted to tell you that I want to see you. But they wouldn't let me see you, they told me I ruined you...but I guess." He thought you'd be as much of a mess as he was, he just couldn't get over the fact that you weren't. When I close my eyes and count one and two, Before I know it, I’m asleep and I look for you in my dream unknowingly. And he'd wake up looking for you. Just like he did this morning, this week, this past year. It was rough for joshua. "I think it’s a lie that I want to forget you." He blurted out. "Josh, it's been forever." "No. Maybe it’s become a habit instead." You stayed silent as he talked, the surrounding nightlife no longer a bother for him, it was as if you were the only two people on the planet. "Josh-" "When I think of you laughing somewhere, I feel like I’m losing. I feel like an idiot." If you were hearing this a year ago you'd feel your heart burst at his words and without a doubt you'd go back to him. But this isn't a year ago and you no longer felt that way. "I think I want to forget, Your name that I’m calling again even now." He felt his voice crack and you looked at him, how did he get like this. "And you will Joshua, you'll learn to be happy again. I was able too." "I rather wish that you were having a rougher time. I want you to think about me because it's hard. But I can't be selfish not now that you're happy." The tears ran down his cheeks as he failed at his attempt to hold his composure. You couldn't look at him directly, you felt sadness and pity. "I did Joshua. You ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I was in hell but I was able to escape it. Don't dwell on the past." You said as the frail boy in front of you fiddled with his hands. His eyes flickered from you to the male figure approaching you. Which caused you to turn and smile at the figure that was getting closer. He quickly wiped the tears off his cheeks and attempted to fix himself, make himself seem presentable, fine. "Y/N, come inside it's so cold out here you'll freeze and I can't have that. Your parents are waiting." He said to you before turning to see Joshua, with teary eyes in front of you and he raised an eyebrow. "Who's this baby?" He asked in the softest tone that made Joshua sick. "He's an old friend, Seungcheol." "Ahh okay. Hurry so we can order all order together or I can just order for you." "No it's fine I'll head in right now." You turned back to look at Joshua and your stomach dropped. You felt bad but what could you do? "Listen Joshua it was a surprise bumping into you but I got to go. Take care of yourself, yeah?" You say before he could say anything else. And he just watched you walk away leaving him outside in the cold wintery night. I want to be okay. He thought as he saw you through the window of the restaurant, a bright smile graced your lips as you were comfortably wrapped in the arms of your new love. He feels another tear run down his cheek and he can't believe himself. I want to embrace you like I did then and tell you that I want to smile. He can't move, he's frozen in place staring inside as the cold air hits him, yet he could feel the warmth of your smile and he couldn't help but feel angry and jealous. Jealous that he was no longer the reason behind your smile. Jealous that he was the one supposed to be talking to your parents and planning to spend the eat of his life with you. You keep meeting somebody and laugh out loud but nothing changes. It was intoxicating to him, your laugh. He loved it when you would laugh the cause of it was usually something ridiculously silly he said. You used to love him for it though. You swore that you'd never laugh at anyone's jokes as hard as you laughed at his. You didn't carry out with it though, and as he saw you standing there wrapped in Seungcheol's arms he knew he had lost you and the memory of you was all he had left and he couldn't help but feel heartbroken.

Now that you’re gone The habit of calling you I live, unable to erase it Because of you

Authors Note: Decided to post this as a thank you for over 200 notes on "Lost" and a thank you for 700 followers. Thank you for reading my work and for those messages of encouragement-which btw mean the world to me. Thank you guys so much!

When you finally understand something at school

#relatable #kpop #kpop memes #kpop meme #memes #meme #seventeen #seventeen memes #seventeen meme #joshua #seventeen Joshua #Joshua 17 #17 #slip into the diamond life #knowledge is power #shookga memes

Joshua, Mingyu and Seungkwan; bf material 💗

like/reblog | @kpoplocks

Serendipity: Joshua - Part 3 (SVTN)

"Have a good show, okay?" You smiled to yourself while talking on the phone to Joshua.

"I will, thank you." He replied and sighed,"I wish I could visit you on your birthday."

"It's fine, I'm glad we were able to talk though," you said sincerely. You heard loud noises from Joshua's side and assumed he had to go soon.

"It's almost time," he claimed,"we'll talk later."

"Okay," you mumbled before hanging up. You frowned and glanced down at the notebook in hand.

It's been about a year since you last saw Joshua since he was busy promoting his group. He was supposed to visit you today but had to do a last minute show. You didn't mind, you understood it was his job. You found yourself sketching the outline of his face and slowly added in details.

So what's happen over the last few months? After participating in farmer's markets and selling your art on line, you were able to open up a small shop in downtown San Francisco.

You heard the door open and someone shout as they entered the shop,"what's up Y/N?" You recognized your best friend's voice. "Happy birthday!"

"Thanks," you smiled genuinely and accepted the gift she gave you. "Aw," you laughed at the presents full of inside jokes.

"Knew you'd like it," she smiled proudly and smirked,"come on, I'm gonna take you somewhere."

You sighed,"I can't I have to watch over this place."

"It's just dinner! Please," she begged and you finally gave in. She cheered and happily skipped out of the shop. You shook your head and closed the shop, making sure everything was locked. "Hurry you slowpoke!" She grinned and crossed the street towards the large Macy's store.

You followed and watched her get into the elevator that goes up to the Cheesecake Factory. Once you reached the restaurant she grabbed your hand and took you outside and made you sit in a two persons table.

"I'll be right back I need to use the bathroom," she promised and left you alone.

You glanced over and admired the landscape in front of you. You should've brought your notebook to sketch the scenery out.

"Excuse me," a familiar voice called.

You turned and saw someone you didn't expect,"Joshua?"

He smiled,"Surprise! Happy birthday!"

You pursed your lips, trying to contain your excitement,"thank you. I didn't know you were in the states!"

"Of course! I had to visit you," he took the seat across from you. "Have you ordered yet?" You shook your head and gazed at the menu.

After the meal, you and Joshua just walked around the city like the last time the two of you hung out.

"How long are you staying?" You asked, afraid the night was going to end too quickly.

"A week, I took along one of my members since he hasn't visited in a while." He informed and threw you a smile. “I think he bumped in your friend on the way here. They’re probably hanging out with each other right now.”

Your cheeks heated and turned away from him,"nice." You two stopped in front of a lit up tree, admiring it for a moment.

"Y/N?" He grabbed your hands and held them softly. Your eyes widened, your mind racing.

"Yeah?" You hesitated.

"It's going to be hard, but I'm willing to make it work. Do you want to...you know, be mine?" His own cheeks began to grow red.

You laughed and nodded,"of course."

His eyes brightened at your response and he couldn't hold himself back when he pressed his lips against yours.

THE END!! HAPPY BELATED TO MY FAVE JOSHUA & TAEHYUNG STAN,, this is part 1/2 on my birthday imagines ((;

Joshua 17

Then allotment was made to the people of Manasseh, for he was the firstborn of Joseph. To Machir the firstborn of Manasseh, the father of Gilead, were allotted Gilead and Bashan, because he was a man of war. 2 And allotments were made to the rest of the people of Manasseh by their clans, Abiezer, Helek, Asriel, Shechem, Hepher, and Shemida. These were the male descendants of Manasseh the son of Joseph, by their clans.

3 Now Zelophehad the son of Hepher, son of Gilead, son of Machir, son of Manasseh, had no sons, but only daughters, and these are the names of his daughters: Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah. 4 They approached Eleazar the priest and Joshua the son of Nun and the leaders and said, “The LORD commanded Moses to give us an inheritance along with our brothers.” So according to the mouth of the LORD he gave them an inheritance among the brothers of their father. 5 Thus there fell to Manasseh ten portions, besides the land of Gilead and Bashan, which is on the other side of the Jordan, 6 because the daughters of Manasseh received an inheritance along with his sons. The land of Gilead was allotted to the rest of the people of Manasseh.

7 The territory of Manasseh reached from Asher to Michmethath, which is east of Shechem. Then the boundary goes along southward to the inhabitants of En-tappuah. 8 The land of Tappuah belonged to Manasseh, but the town of Tappuah on the boundary of Manasseh belonged to the people of Ephraim. 9 Then the boundary went down to the brook Kanah. These cities, to the south of the brook, among the cities of Manasseh, belong to Ephraim. Then the boundary of Manasseh goes on the north side of the brook and ends at the sea, 10 the land to the south being Ephraim's and that to the north being Manasseh's, with the sea forming its boundary. On the north Asher is reached, and on the east Issachar. 11 Also in Issachar and in Asher Manasseh had Beth-shean and its villages, and Ibleam and its villages, and the inhabitants of Dor and its villages, and the inhabitants of En-dor and its villages, and the inhabitants of Taanach and its villages, and the inhabitants of Megiddo and its villages; the third is Naphath.[a] 12 Yet the people of Manasseh could not take possession of those cities, but the Canaanites persisted in dwelling in that land. 13 Now when the people of Israel grew strong, they put the Canaanites to forced labor, but did not utterly drive them out.

14 Then the people of Joseph spoke to Joshua, saying, “Why have you given me but one lot and one portion as an inheritance, although I am a numerous people, since all along the LORD has blessed me?” 15 And Joshua said to them, “If you are a numerous people, go up by yourselves to the forest, and there clear ground for yourselves in the land of the Perizzites and the Rephaim, since the hill country of Ephraim is too narrow for you.” 16 The people of Joseph said, “The hill country is not enough for us. Yet all the Canaanites who dwell in the plain have chariots of iron, both those in Beth-shean and its villages and those in the Valley of Jezreel.” 17 Then Joshua said to the house of Joseph, to Ephraim and Manasseh, “You are a numerous people and have great power. You shall not have one allotment only, 18 but the hill country shall be yours, for though it is a forest, you shall clear it and possess it to its farthest borders. For you shall drive out the Canaanites, though they have chariots of iron, and though they are strong.”

Footnotes a. Joshua 17:11 The meaning of the Hebrew is uncertain

#Joshua #Joshua 17

Joshua 17

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com Joshua 17 Joshua 17:1 This was the allotment for the tribe of Manasseh as Joseph’s firstborn. Gilead and Bashan were given to Machir, the firstborn of Manasseh and the father of Gilead because he was a man of war. Joshua 17:2 So the allotment was for the rest of Manasseh’s descendants by their clans, for the sons of Abiezer, Helek, Asriel,…