⛁ [ILLICIT.] m | toji fushiguro. ᝰ.ᐟ
pairing: toji fushiguro x reader synopsis: galas. beaches. luxury. filthy, stupid amounts of money - it was all you'd ever known, an eternity of turning a blind eye to the evil that gifted you your lifestyle. wealth always came with vices, and your own was a man that all the worst parts of yourself craved. when the reality of your fortune looms over you, you begin pushing boundaries, toeing the line of immorality in secrecy. but when is far too far? when you succumb to depravity, or when depravity's green eyes and scarred lips consume you whole? warnings: mdni, fem!reader, toxicity, FILTHY smut, tw!naoya and the zenins, infidelity, mentions of alcohol abuse, flawed characters, non-sorceror!au, organisedcrime!au, messy relationships, dom!toji, sub!reader, misogynistic themes, mentions of violence, mentions of blood, attempted kidnapping, toji's mean, voyeurism, masturbation (m and f), degradation, breastplay, exhibitionism, oral (m and f), throat fucking, cumeating, handjobs, reader and toji have questionable morals lol, fingering, messy sex, teasing, overstimulation, p in v sex, creampies, praise, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, squirting, unprotected sex, minor character death, pwLOTSOFplot, helplol word count: 19.3k (whoops)
[return trip to k's masterlists.]
author's note: hello my loves. it's k, and when i tell you this just kept getting longer and longer... lol. slight mafia!au x jjk x messy relationships, there was a lottt to get down, but here it is! likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated, i wanna discuss with my readers! mwah! i'll see you soon, k ♡
You had single handedly benefitted from all things despicable in your life.
Nepotism, sycophancy and generational wealth had made you who you were. And maybe, if your moral compass was a little less skewed, you’d have found yourself ruminating on that fact a little more. To put it plainly, you couldn’t give less of a shit.
Why would you, when all those so-called wrongdoings had positioned you in poolside deck chair, overlooking a million dollar view? You were scantily clad in a bikini akin to strings; so little material that it was hardly worth the small fortune it had cost. A half empty piña colada was set to your right, a largely untouched charcuterie board to your left. The sun had begun its daily descent over the horizon, golden streaks skimming over rooftops before blanketing you in a warm hue. The umbrella beside you had been repositioned countless times over the last few hours to shield you from the summer’s heat, but you’d rapidly grown tired of calling your housemaid to fix the angle.
It was probably time for you to retreat back indoors anyhow; your body was beginning to show the subtle signs of overheating despite your many attempts to ward off the season’s sticky embrace.
With a leisurely stretch and squeaky yawn you sat up, adjusting the sunglasses perched on your nose. You frowned for a moment, scanning the table beside you for your sunhat before recalling it was already positioned on your head.
“Too many drinks,” you mumbled to yourself.
With a little sway to your step you dragged yourself to your feet, snatching up the dregs of your piña colada as you retreated into the welcoming cooled air of your penthouse. Just as you crossed the threshold, you heard the telltale hum of your husband’s voice, drawing closer to the living area. He was likely just returning from the monthly meetings the company held; this one in particular had lasted just over a week which was quite out of the ordinary. At most, the gatherings took three days, but apparently this time there had been more to discuss. The only reason you were even aware of his delay was through your own endeavours; after your spouse’s impromptu absence during a fundraising event a couple nights prior.
Now however, he emerged from the hallway, stepping into your reception room with a small entourage surrounding him. Your husband entered first, a look of blatant irritation directed towards your tipsy, half dressed demeanour. To his left was Naoya, his younger brother and an individual you held no warm feelings towards. Your brother-in-law was a somewhat despicable character, who made his disdain towards women in general one of his glaring traits. Only when it suited him, however, as he now shamelessly ogled you with a narrowed auburn gaze. On the other side of your husband stood a stark contrast; Toji Fushiguro, his elder cousin.
Toji slightly surpassed your husband in stature, and greatly surpassed him in build. Where your husband was more lean, Toji was filled out a little more, with broad shoulders and a physique that was visible even beneath the plain, baggy shirt he now wore. His eyes were uncut emeralds, glinting in the fractured light from the windows, fixing you with a familiar cold stare.
The man was an enigma. On account of his few and far between appearances, you’d never uttered more than a few words to him in conversation. Toji was unfriendly, in all honesty. A towering beast of a man, whose ego filled the heavy silence warped by his words. Over a few encounters, you slowly observed that he never lowered his chin to converse with you, instead opting to watch you down the slope of his nose. And even so, the man made your thighs ache in wanton need. You tried to ignore it at first, doing everything within you to hold a shred of respect for your sham of a marriage. But the stronger you resisted, the more twisted your desire became; his green eyes haunted you in your dreams, scarred lips flitting through your mind in the quiet moments of your waking hours and growing that seed of sin.
For all your unhinged obsession, the man couldn’t care less about you. It was as if you were invisible, a plight in his day, and it drove you insane. You craved his attention, restlessly and fruitlessly searching for a crack in his demeanour. The handful of times you exchanged words, his brooding nature and air of indifference widened the chasm between the two of you. Still, you chose not to take it personally. It became apparent with more run ins he was the same with everyone. Even now, he only acknowledged your presence when your husband spoke.
“Wife,” he greeted through gritted teeth. “I thought you would be out.”
It took you a split second to assess the situation, eyes fixing on your husband’s tense shoulders and Naoya’s clenched jaw. Even Toji’s reemergence, as much as it intrigued you, didn’t bode well. Something had happened.
“Yes, yes,” you sighed dramatically, cocking a hip and sipping from the rapidly deteriorating paper straw. “I was supposed to be, but then I heard about your arrival and just had to be here to see you.”
“Well, I’m here,” your husband deadpanned, steely gaze fixed on your hazy eyes and clammy skin. “You’ve seen me, and me and my family members have seen you.”
It didn’t take an idiot to decipher the unpleasant meaning behind his words. You were sure you’d be getting an earful of that later. But still, you couldn’t brush the niggling feeling at your neck. “Why are you in such a rush? It’s been too long since I’ve had the pleasure of being in the company of family.”
You were doing an excellent job at winding your husband up, it seemed. He’d been around you too long to fall victim to the simpering persona you’d adorned for your guests, but the act was never for him.
Naoya clapped his hands together, breaking the rapidly building tension between you and your spouse with an ill-natured grin. “She’s right, brother. Let me at least greet my sister-in-law.”
It was unpleasant, having to endure the feeling of his cool, wandering hands around your waist, but you swallowed the urge to shove him away in the name of mischief. As you peeked over Naoya’s shoulder you glimpsed your spouse growing even more angry, his brow furrowed in displeasure at the sight of you, half naked, in the arms of another man. Even when that man was his own blood.
“Toji,” you smiled warmly after breaking away from Naoya’s clutches. “It’s lovely to see you again,”
The man grunted, barely passing you a second glance. You’d already established that your feminine wiles seemed to have less of an impact on him, but you expected no less – it wasn’t the first time you’d tried your hand at bending the man to your will. Despite that, you felt the prickling feeling of his cold stare on you as you tossed your hair over a shoulder, looking back at your husband. “Something’s happened.”
In truth, you weren’t expecting an answer, and your expectations were duly met.
Your husband scoffed, waving his hand dismissively. “Nothing of your concern. More importantly, would you mind excusing us for a moment?”
You indiscreetly rolled your eyes, making a pointed effort to adjust your bikini top. “Alright, alright. I’ll leave you to it.”
Prodding at your husband’s temper brought you a certain satisfaction, but even you understood too well the importance of appearances, and placed a swift kiss on his cheek as you retreated. Another glance over your shoulder had you locking eyes with Toji, who watched you with an indecipherable expression on his face. You smiled coyly before disappearing around the corner.
“Well, that was—”
“Naoya. You touch my wife again and I’ll break your jaw.”
A couple of hours later, you were showered and perfumed, applying the finishing touches to your makeup. After being dismissed by your husband, it became more apparent to you that you had no desire to stay locked away like a child being punished. You’d already called off the gathering with your friends in hopes of gleaning new information, but after that failed a quick phone call arranged something new for the evening.
You were clad in a backless evening gown, hair arranged meticulously and makeup highlighting your best features. A sheer scarf draped across your shoulders, fluttering in the air as you whisked yourself down the stairs. As you expected, your husband and his company were still in the living room, engaged in what looked like a riveting discussion.
The clip clop of your heels announced your arrival before you did, bringing their heated conversation to a halt. Your husband paused mid-sentence, glancing over his shoulder to give you a questioning expression. “Where are you going?” He demanded.
You clenched your jaw. His attitude was getting on your last nerve. “Meeting up with my friends.” You paused. “If that’s okay with you, of course?” The question was sarcastic, sharp enough to inform him of the fact that you were no longer willing to entertain the undercurrent curtness of his tone.
He sighed, momentarily dropping the irritation in his conduct. “Of course I don’t. I’m just… concerned. I don’t think it’s a good decision right now.”
You raised a carved eyebrow quizzically. “Oh? And I was supposed to know that, how? My apparent telepathic abilities?”
Naoya snorted, quickly gaining deep interest in your patterned curtains after a withering glare from your husband. Your spouse stood up, stalking over to you in a few long strides. He approached with a stiffness in his back, gently pulling you over to the side. “Don’t make this difficult for me. I’m just looking out for you,” he hissed under his breath.
“Which I could do perfectly well on my own if you’d just tell me what the hell is going on,” you shot back. “We’ve been over this enough times.”
Despite the ample time you gave him to respond, your husband chose to remain silent, lips pressed in a thin line. He simply stared at you, eyes unblinking in silent defiance.
“Well then,” you huffed, making a beeline to the elevator door. On your way out you cast a look to the sofas, catching Toji’s characteristically blank glare. He was reclined on the seat, arms outstretched and rested on the plush pillows. Long, restless fingers drummed on the fabric, and if your eyes didn’t deceive you, you caught the faintest sight of his scarred lips quirking at the corner; a small smirk at your little performance that irritatingly imitated your earlier gesture.
Ijichi, your driver, was waiting rather anxiously by the car. A small slip of a man, he tended to fret about the most insignificant issues and cause himself unnecessary headaches in the process. Even now, he jumped comically at your quickly approaching silhouette. “Ma’am!”
You nodded with a small smile. “Good evening, Ijichi.”
He greeted you back meekly, hand shooting to the rear door handle with muscle memory. Before opening the door however, he paused momentarily, as if he was engaged in some inner turmoil.
You waited patiently. “Is everything alright?”
Ijichi cleared his throat, releasing the door handle and straightening himself up. “Yes, ma’am. It’s just…”
You cocked your head to the side.
“Your husband, ma’am,” he began hurriedly, taking a beat to compose himself again. “He told me to not… take you anywhere.”
To his credit, the man appeared disgruntled at the word choice. From previous digging, digging being the correct choice of words because Ijichi was very professional, you knew that he also disapproved of your husband’s tyrannical ways. That professionalism prevented him from softening the blow of your husband grounding you, apparently.
“Ah,” you mused. “I see. Well, let me deal with him. I do have an appointment to attend today.”
You felt a little pity towards the man, for being caught between two butting heads. Not enough to cave however, as you stubbornly remained in your spot. “And if you are unable to take me, I’m perfectly capable of getting there myself.”
Ijichi debated with himself a second longer, face grimacing while he debated which choice would land him in the least amount of trouble. “As you wish, ma’am,” he sighed eventually, gently opening the door for you and gesturing to the leather seat. “Please.”
“Thank you.”
The cityscape rolled by as the car approached your destination. Golden streaks from the streetlamps danced over your shoulders, bleeding in with the harsh neons from passing billboards. The upscale restaurant that you’d chosen for the evening was one you typically frequented, a rooftop establishment that attendees would typically have to reserve weeks in advance. Due to your close friendship with the owner, you had the fortune of bypassing the process; a few gilded words in his ear and a table was yours for the evening.
Even then as Ijichi opened the rear door for you to exit, you spotted your dear friend beneath the porte-cochère, smiling to greet the evening’s patrons. You thanked Ijichi with a passing nod, telling him to not wait up for you and promising you’d send him a message when you were ready to retire.
“Mon cheri!” Francois grinned gleefully. “I’ve been waiting for you – and don’t you look as fabulous as ever!”
You returned his embrace, kissing him on the cheek in greeting. “Francois, I keep telling you. I’m a loyal customer now, you don’t have to keep kissing my ass.”
The man chortled at your playful words, glancing behind you briefly. “Just you today?”
You waved him off. “No husband tonight. Me and the girls are having a much needed catch up.”
“Ah, I see,” Francois deftly adjusted the scarf that slipped from your shoulder, using the opportunity to whisper a few words in your ear. “Be careful, cheri. I’m sure you already know, but things are looking a little tense for now. When it rains it pours, as they say.”
It took a split second for you to mask the surprise in your face. Francois had been close to the family for as long as you could remember, and was always willing to keep an ear out for when trouble was brewing. The nature of his profession meant he was always close to your fellow ‘business partners’, but even so he tended to steer clear of anything not surface deep. For him to warn you, it meant that things were truly bad. Regardless, you adorned a pleasant smile and squeezed his arm. “Thank you, darling. But you know me, I’m always careful.”
Your friend nodded, bowing dramatically as he gestured to the entrance. “Then please, enjoy your evening, my dear.”
On the rooftop a waiter guided you to the table, where everyone else was already seated. Utahime was the first to notice your arrival, waving enthusiastically in your direction. By the look of her flushed cheeks the wine had already started flowing, and the waiter dutifully poured you a glass as you sat.
“To think you were the one who invited us, and you’re the last to get here,” Shoko said dryly.
“Beauty takes time, Shoko,” you sighed dramatically. “That, and apparently I’m under house arrest now.”
The brunette swirled her drink, eyebrows raised at your choice of words. “Trouble in paradise?”
You rolled your eyes with a shrug. “Please. When isn’t there? But no, this is something else. And apparently my vagina renders me unworthy of knowing what.”
Mei Mei tittered at your joke, flicking her ponytail over a shoulder. “Don’t they love that one. It’s a good thing Shoko and I managed to escape that hellhole.”
Utahime huffed. “If only I had a choice. My husband doesn’t have the status to even give us an inkling of what’s going on before he’s eventually called away to work.” She turned to you, curiosity flashing in her eyes. “Have you heard anything at all?”
You pressed your lips together grimly, casting your mind back to the conversation you narrowly missed on your way out. “Nothing really. All I heard was ‘police’ before I was shut out.”
Shoko and Mei Mei shared a concerned glance, the former tapping manicured nails restlessly on the table.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know, chick,” Shoko began. “Something’s up for sure. I haven’t been able to catch much of it, but… some of my associates have been talking about the police cracking down on organized crime lately.”
You straightened your back, brows creasing slightly in confusion. “But why is it such a big deal now? This isn’t the first time we’ve heard that.”
Mei Mei hummed in agreement, plucking a cigarette from her gold case and offering one to Shoko. “Normally I’d agree with you. But I’ve heard the same, and something about changes in management. I think they’re serious this time.”
Your blood ran cold. Like you’d already stated, it wouldn’t be the first time news of a similar type had reached your ears. On those occasions, your husband told you intel had informed him in good enough time, and a few changes were enough to clear the family of any serious danger. Of course, those occasions hadn’t been accompanied with delayed meetings and reemergences of old faces. Hell, even Francois had warned you to keep your wits about, but it was unlikely he was referring to the police. Maybe you should’ve asked him for more clarification.
“Everything alright?” Utahime asked gently.
You blinked, realizing you’d gone silent whilst absorbed in your thoughts. “I’m fine. Just, thinking.”
Shoko inhaled from her newly lit cigarette. “Try not to think about it too much. I’m sure it’ll pass over and be dealt with soon enough.”
You weren’t so sure yourself. In fact, the feeling wouldn’t leave you, long after your conversation moved away from business and the four of you became more inebriated. You laughed along with your friends, but the small feeling of irritation from before blossomed into dread, dragging you deep into your thoughts even as you said your goodbyes.
Outside, the nighttime breeze cooled your flushed face, offering you a reprieve from the stuffy summer air. In your intoxicated state, you’d conveniently forgotten your promise to Ijichi, and neglected your agreed text before you were ready to leave. You glanced down at your phone, blinking at the harsh blue light to try and make sense of the notifications scattered across your screen. A few missed calls — from your driver as it happened, that you decided to brush aside for a few minutes. You sent a hurried text to the man to let him know you were safe and ready to go, and that he should meet you at the end of the street. It was only a few blocks away, and you wanted to take the opportunity to enjoy the air now that you had the chance.
Admittedly you wobbled in your heels a bit, but you quickly regained your balance the further you strolled from the hotel. The dazzling lights from the establishment faded as you ambled away, the sounds of the city nightlife providing a jarring ambience to your thoughts. In hindsight, you were taking liberties that you couldn’t really afford, given the current state of affairs. With the means to tucked against your thigh, you knew could protect yourself when the moment arose. But you were still vulnerable; a woman alone in a busy city, and very clearly under the influence.
It was that awareness that flagged a presence over your shoulder.
You straightened up, rapidly blinking away the blurriness in your vision. The presence was clearer now, a second, almost imperceivable set of footsteps. Your heart started hammering in your chest.
The footsteps were heavy, sloppy. By the sounds of it, a man was tailing you. Adrenaline cleared your addled mind and quickened your pace, and you internally cursed yourself for not just staying put when you had the chance. The hotel was now a decent distance behind you, and any attempt at calling for help could’ve landed you in more danger. Your palms grew moist as you flitted through your options, but nothing stuck out to you.
And so, you ran.
Kicking your heels off mid stride, you tore down the street, the soles of your feet ramming against the concrete to try and put distance between you and the stranger. Your heart slammed against your ribs; pure, unadulterated fear seeping into your bones while the footsteps grew closer.
Oh God.
Just before you reached the crossroads, the sound of an engine revving broke through the ringing in your ears. A car horn beeped through the air, and to your relief, a familiar black sedan screeched to a halt in front of you.
Ijichi.
The passenger door swung open and you leapt inside, pulling the door shut with such a force that the car shook. Your driver didn’t bother to check for the whereabouts of your assailant, and he tore off down the street without a second glance.
The otherwise silent car was filled with your heavy breathing as your lungs ripped back oxygen from the air.
“Ma’am? Are you okay?”
You swallowed, the roaring in your ears only then beginning to settle. “I think so.”
“Are you drunk?” Ijichi asked, horrified. “And your shoes!”
You couldn’t help the dry laughter that trickled from your throat. “Trust me, I think my little unplanned hundred metre sprint cleared any alcohol in my blood, Ijichi.” You reached to the side to sling on your seatbelt; the car had started its irritating little beeping. “And I can’t believe you’re asking about the shoes.”
“I—”
“I’m joking, Ijichi. Don’t worry. Someone’s about to have a very fortunate run in with Christian Louboutin,” you sighed.
“I can’t believe you’re making jokes, ma’am,” Ijichi fretted. “Your life was in danger,”
“Don’t I know it.”
“Your husband—”
“—Is going to stay blissfully unaware of what just happened,” you turned to look at the man. “Isn’t he?”
“Ma’am, I can’t—”
“Isn’t he?”
Ijichi’s knuckles were turning an alarming shade of white as he gripped the steering wheel. His fingers tapped the smooth leather arbitrarily, until you softly patted his shoulder.
“I’m sorry to put you in this position, Ijichi. I know you’re only concerned for my safety,” you reclined in the seat, releasing a long puff of air. “He’s just being unreasonable right now.”
“Is… Is he treating you well?” Your driver asked nervously. “Excuse my prying.”
You shook your head with a small smile. “Don’t apologise, Ijichi. You’re a dear friend to me.” A beat of silence passed. “Probably a better friend to me than most. And yes, he’s treating me well enough, don’t you worry about that.”
Ijichi thought over your words for a moment, and finally relieved the steering from his death grip. “Very well, ma’am. Your secret’s safe with me.”
The rest of the journey was completed in a comfortable silence. Your head rested on the window’s cool glass, and you did your best to not consider what could’ve happened if Ijichi had not arrived when he did.
The house was asleep when you returned, and you couldn’t be more grateful for the solace. Explaining your late arrival and dishevelled state to your husband would’ve only served as more punishment.
Your sore feet padded across the tile in the kitchen, covered in odd-looking grime stains from your recently concluded adventure. You had to beg Ijichi to keep his shoes on, despite his numerous attempts at passing them off to you for your short venture back inside.
It was late, and the only thing that would bring you comfort was a shower, followed with a Netflix marathon. You unceremoniously dumped your purse on the kitchen counter and grabbed a glass from the cupboard, trudging over to the tap to fill it with cold water.
Apparently, your sixth sense had been worn out in your earlier escape, because the sound of a gruff voice from behind you almost made you jump from your skin.
“Fuck happened to your feet?”
You whirled on your heel to find Toji stood behind you, car keys dangling from his fingers. He’d fixed you with an unimpressed grimace.
Your mouth was gaped open like a fish, jaw working to muster up some rubbish excuse to give the man. The scene was comedic, your glass overflowing into the sink as you gawked at him. “Uhhhh, lost my shoes…”
Toji stared at you like you were stupid. “Right.”
“More importantly,” you hurriedly added, eager to change the subject, “Why are you still here?”
The man shrugged, walking around the breakfast counter until he stopped in front of you. “Ask your husband.”
You tried to ignore the childish skip of your heart at his proximity. “Ah. Is… everything okay?”
He paused for a moment, cocking his head to the side to study your weary appearance. “Mhm. Not really.”
You finally came to your senses and closed the tap, tipping your glass out until the water reached an acceptable level. Placing it on the counter between you two, you sighed. “Great. Wonder if any of it is related to the fucker who tried kidnapping me today. I only just about made it out in one piece.”
You don’t know what you were expecting from him, in all honesty. It was no novelty to you that the men of your husband’s family were emotionally constipated, so any tenderness from your cousin-in-law would’ve likely come as more of a shock. But a snort, a shake of the head? Considering your life was in danger, you didn’t expect such callous response and you found yourself quite miffed. “Funny?”
“A little. Y’look fine to me,” Toji spoke gruffly. He gave you a once over. “A little worse for wear, maybe.”
You bristled, and made no effort to conceal a scowl. “And fuck you too.”
Toji’s lips quirked at the side, and he twirled the keys around a finger. “Mhm. Don’t think yer husband would enjoy hearin’ all that, missy.”
You couldn’t help the flush of your cheeks at his crassness, and buried the small flame that ignited in your belly with a scoff. “Whatever. Don’t let the lift crush you on your way out, asshole.”
To your surprise, after you turned your back to him, Toji didn’t move. Maybe it was the remnants of your strange day that encouraged him to stay.
“He’s really not tellin’ you nothin’, huh?”
You shrugged, necking down your glass of water. “No. Unsurprising.”
Your cousin-in-law shuffled, and you peered over your shoulder to see him braced against the countertop. “I don’t concern myself with my cousin’s marriage. But…”
You lifted a brow expectantly.
Toji sighed, scratching his stubbled jaw. “The feds are cracking down, apparently. Some changes in management. Seems the Gojos made some good connections in advance, and they manage to raid one of your warehouses.”
The hair on your neck raised at the revelation. The Gojos had always been a thorn in your family’s side, and a significant amount of recent efforts had been spent deciding what to do about them. You weren’t well versed in the politics of the situation, largely due to your husband’s secrecy, but you knew they hadn’t been much of a threat in the past. Some mutually beneficial agreements had been made, and a fragile peace had been brokered. Until now, apparently.
“Shit. And if they’re with the police now…” you muttered.
“Uh huh. Not good.”
Not good was a big understatement. Things were about to go severely sideways if the issue wasn’t approached carefully.
You exhaled with effort. “Why’d you tell me?”
For the umpteenth time, Toji shrugged. “Looked like you were having a shitty day.” He straightened up from the counter and eyed you narrowly. “Don’t involve me in shit with your husband.”
Whatever mild-natured mood Toji had welcomed vanished into thin air with those words.
“My lips are sealed,” you muttered absent-mindedly. “But… I thought you left all of this?”
Toji looked more than displeased with your question, and a darkness clouded his expression. You’d hit a nerve it seemed, but your curiosity tended to get the better of you. It was true. From what you’d gathered from Naoya, Toji left the family years ago. There’d been a disagreement of some sort, and the elders named him a disgrace to the family name. He’d disappeared mysteriously for a good few years before reappearing again, with a new surname in tow.
His lips twitched in annoyance. “You can never leave this shit behind.”
And with that, he left.
Your brief conversation with Toji was the last you’d heard of him for a couple of months.
Since then, your life had been on a continuous downwards spiral. Your ‘house arrest’, as you’d so conveniently labelled it, had become far less of a joke. Between your husband’s excessive lingering and Ijichi’s newfound flightiness, you were essentially trapped. If you so much even attempted to leave, your own home mind you, one of your husband’s men would block your way out of the building before you got anywhere. You’d started with charms, bartering, begging, and eventual screaming, but your husband wouldn’t budge. In fact, your already strained marriage had reached a new tipping point. Before all the tension with the Gojos, you and your husband were rarely around each other; his constant responsibilities frequently called him away from your home, and it wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to go a week without seeing each other. Now however, he was always around. Either he’d spend a day in the local offices and return in the evening, or he’d host gatherings with other members of the family in the penthouse. Those days were the worst, as he was adamant that you could be nowhere near the discussions, and even your own balcony was off limits.
Despite the proximity, the two of you didn’t speak. He avoided you like the plague, which initially didn’t bother you too much, but when the loneliness hit even a conversation with him would have been a saving grace. Ijichi could provide you no help either. He was busier now, with transporting your husband and the family to wherever they would disappear off to, and was scarcely free to even send you a message. You had a strong feeling your husband had a role in that too, the echoes of a few of his passing, disapproving comments flashing through your mind.
Most nights you had dinner alone, opting out of sitting with the family after Naoya had made one too many comments about your ‘unladylike’ moods. The other men largely ignored you, which made for a miserable experience when you were looking forward to some, albeit rather unpleasant company.
Unfortunately, you weren’t lucky one night. You’d been forced to sit with your guests when your father-in-law had asked about your whereabouts, and were on your fiftieth smile and nod of the evening.
Your husband sat at the head of the table, Naoya opposite you as you tried to find something engaging in your broth.
“And that useless fool Toji has been no help,” one of your husband’s uncles snarled from the other end of the table. “We needed him to deal with a quack informant yesterday, and he didn’t even bother showing up!”
“Ha!” Naoya grinned, ears perking up at the chance to foul mouth his cousin. “I warned you, uncle. He’s too busy with his pay-for-kill to remember where he came from.”
“And you, Masaru? Have you heard from your cousin lately? You’re supposed to be keeping tabs on him.”
To his credit, your husband seemed to veil his temperament as thinly as yourself. “No, uncle. I don’t have time to be chasing after Toji and his whereabouts,” he sighed.
“That boy,” your father-in-law grumbled. “After all we did for him.”
“Hm. Maybe my dear sister-in-law has an idea,” Naoya drawled.
You raised your head sharply at his comment. Naoya reclined in his seat, arms folded as he regarded you with the ghost of a smile. You fought everything within you to keep a mask of indifference on your face. “And what, exactly, would you mean by that, Naoya?”
You’d previously decided to stay out of any conversation that arose during the meal, but your brother-in-law’s direct provocation was hard to ignore. Even your husband had finally looked up from his phone.
Naoya waved his hand flippantly. “Nothing serious. I just always thought the two of you had something you were hiding, that’s all.”
Your heart thundered in your chest, partly furious and partly fearful with whatever rubbish he was offering. You were very aware of the fact that you and Toji had scarcely made conversation, but your guests wouldn’t know what to make of Naoya’s spew.
“My dear? What does he mean by that?” your father-in-law asked gently.
Your nostrils flared in anger. “I’m not sure, actually. I haven’t seen Toji in months.”
You hoped your words would be enough to shut the conversation down, but your brother-in-law continued.
“That, I’m sure of. It’s not as if you’ve had much chance recently.”
Another goad. Your brother-in-law had been around for one of your screaming matches with your husband, and you knew it was only a matter of time before he brought it out of his arsenal.
“From before. It looked like the two of you had a… close relationship.”
It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. A nasty tension had built in the dining room, and even you couldn’t find the gall to break it.
“Naoya…” an uncle warned. “You overstep, son.”
“Yes.” Your husband spoke up now, staring such daggers into his younger brother you wouldn’t be surprised if he dropped dead. “You severely overstep.”
Said younger brother raised in arms in mock surrender. “I’m just saying what I observed. Maybe your wife’s needs aren’t being properly met.”
Whatever happened next occurred so quickly you could barely register it. Your husband swung at his brother, so swift it looked like a blur. The table jerked with the movement, and several plates spilled their contents onto laps and the floor. Voices were raised and protests filled the air, the vast majority of them directed towards Naoya. Even now, his nose dripped crimson onto the marble flooring, and his face was still painted with that shit eating grin.
You trembled in your seat, a whirlwind of emotions brewing at the sudden descent into chaos.
Your husband turned to look at you from where he stood, face screwed in pure rage as he addressed you. “We need to talk.”
At those words your resolve broke, and the dam holding back your anger shattered. “Surely not,” you scoffed, folding your arms and meeting his steely gaze.
“You heard me.”
You stood up, palms slamming against the table and seethed, “Tell me you’re not believing the utter shit this worm is feeding you?!”
“I’m not having this conversation here,” your husband shot back, fury dissolving into an ice cold simmer.
“No! Let’s have it now!” You hissed. “You lock me up in here, forbid me from leaving and I listen out of respect. And this is how I’m repaid?! Masaru, I—”
“Enough!” Your father-in-law roared, cutting off your rant mid sentence.
Silence.
“We are a family. No matter what happens to the business, that is a fact. Naoya, stop acting like a fucking child and pull yourself together before I really make you bleed,” he continued, glaring at him from the other side of the table. “And you, my dear,” he sighed, turning to look at you with a more tender expression. “This is a conversation better had in private.”
You still shook in rage, glare fixed on your husband. But with the interruption from your father-in-law you knew you had no choice, and stormed from the room.
A few moments later your spouse joined you in your bedroom.
“I’m sorry you had to see that.”
You held your hand up, refusing to listen to whatever apology he had to offer. “I don’t care, Masaru. You think I’ve been unfaithful? After you’ve subjected me to house arrest?!”
He exhaled gently, shutting the door behind him and rubbing his brow. “No, I don’t. And you’re not under house arrest. I’m trying to keep you safe, you know that.”
You huffed incredulously. “I am a grown woman. I have a mind of my own and I can damn well take care of myself whe–” you cut yourself off, and your spouse’s expression grew angry again.
“Oh? Like when Ijichi had to come and save the day?”
Your heart fell at that, remembering how Ijichi promised to not say anything. “He… told you?”
Your husband raised his brows. “Really? No. He didn’t tell me willingly, if that’s what you’re concerned about. I had to question him until he told me where the hell you’d been. This is what I’m talking about!”
You frowned, crossing your arms and demanding, “What did you do to him?”
His mouth curled in disgust. “Nothing. I didn’t touch him, what’s wrong with you? Is this supposed to make me feel better?”
You rolled your eyes, bouncing slightly as you perched on the end of your bed. “You still think I’m cheating on you, and now with Ijichi?”
Your husband raised his hands in exasperation. “I don’t know! You don’t even speak to me anymore, what am I supposed to think?!”
Your gaze was fixed on a far away corner whilst you shook your head. “Don’t be dense. There was never any love between us, Masaru. This was a business arrangement.”
The cold reality of your words fizzled in the air, the truth that had been building for years finally unveiled in the open. Despite any early attempts at building a real relationship, you were right; the marriage between you two had been arranged, dropped on you like a bomb by parents you rarely conversed with anymore. You and your husband had tried, really tried, but your misery had always hung over your relationship like a cloud.
“Right.” Your husband spoke coldly. “Speaking of arrangements, I think I’m sending you away from here.”
“What?!”
“Don’t bother. It’s because of this mess with the Gojos. I don’t want you getting caught in the middle of it, and clearly, it’s tense enough as it is with the family,” he scowled, likely recalling his earlier encounter with his brother. “Maybe then you’ll feel less trapped.”
You knew he wasn’t talking about your confinement.
“Whatever.”
And he left, abandoning you to that whirlwind of thoughts and complete, utter helplessness.
Brrr Brrr. Brrr Brrr.
Toji Fushiguro was pissed, to say the least. His apartment buzzer was so damn loud it could raise the dead, and having it go off mid-fuck was a sure enough way to turn him off as any. He’d slipped out of the woman with an irritated kiss of his teeth, and pulled on a stray pair of joggers as he dragged his feet towards the intercom. Whoever was ringing his bell so incessantly had better have some pretty urgent news if they were so set on disturbing him.
“Who the fuck is it?” He hissed down the mic.
A pause. “I’m great, thanks for asking, Toji,” the dry voice came.
It was his cousin, one of many family members that was set on pulling him into whatever shit they’d landed themselves into this time. Toji had half a mind to cuss the man out and pull the buzzer cord, but the prick would just find a way to climb through his window. With a grunt of displeasure, he buzzed the man in.
A few moments later, Masaru was stood in front of Toji’s door, a look of disgust directed towards the slowly diminishing tent in his pants.
“What. Do you want now?”
His cousin pursed his lips tiredly. “I need a favour.”
“Didn’t think you were here to play dress up, Masaru,” Toji replied satirically, leaning against the doorframe with folded arms. “What is it.”
It excited a small, sick part of him to see his cousin stiffen at his words. Masaru had never really liked Toji, largely due to the big name he had to live up to. He knew it stung that even now, years after he’d left the family business, the elders always chose him as their first port of call in a dire situation.
“I need you to take my wife in for a bit.”
“HA!” At Masaru’s words Toji guffawed, half believing the visit was a prank. “You’re shittin’ me.”
His cousin remained perfectly still, finding the situation positively unfunny. “No. I’m not.”
“And why the hell would I do that?”
“You already know shit’s hit the fan, Toji,” he replied stiffly. “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t necessary.”
“And you already know I told you not to involve me in your business, but here you are on my doorstep,” Toji insisted. “How does she feel about this?”
Masaru looked even more affronted by the question. “It doesn’t matter. She’s not safe.”
“Right. Remember your family goin’ on about ‘men protecting their wives’. Last time I checked s’not my ring on her finger.”
“We have an agreement.”
That pissed Toji off. “Don’t bring that shit into this, Masaru. I’ve held up my side of the deal.”
“No,” Masaru hissed, stepping closer. “You’ve done fuck all worth the time and effort it takes to keep them away from you. Especially at a time like this.”
“Careful,” Toji warned quietly, mocking gaze morphing into something colder.
His cousin stared him down for a moment longer, debating something stupid before stepping back again. “Do this for me, and I’ll be in your debt.”
He was exceptionally desperate if he was offering something as brainless as that. Masaru knew very well the kind of man Toji was, and even during his time with the family, owing someone was always a last, desperate result.
Toji debated a little longer, stroking the stubble on his chin thoughtfully before making his mind up. “Fine.”
Masaru’s shoulders dropped, relief flooding his demeanour. “Great. I’ll—.”
“Toji?” A soft voice hummed from over his shoulder. “Everything okay?”
The cousins exchanged a glance, and Masaru rolled his eyes dramatically. “Whatever. Just look at your damn phone please.”
And without so much as a thank you, the man retreated down the hallway.
Babysitting was never one of Toji’s strengths, and the thought of having someone permanently in his space didn’t bode well. When that someone was his cousin’s wife, a woman that he pointedly tried to avoid whenever he could, he knew that his life was going to become considerably difficult for the foreseeable future.
When your husband told you that he was ‘sending you away’, you were initially indignant.
In fact, you traversed through several stages of refusal. The next was disbelief. For someone so set on keeping you within earshot, the switch up made no sense in your head. You were at a loss as to why it was even a consideration. Then again, he’d made a substantial effort to keep you away from any developments with the current situation; you had no inkling of how bad things had gotten. Your final stage was acceptance. Staying in your home had brought you no happiness over the past few weeks, and the idea of getting away from it all became more appealing. If only it had been on your own terms, and you weren’t being passed around like blunt in rotation.
However, when he informed you on your moving day that Toji Fushiguro was to be your host, the gears started turning in your head. This was the same person you had been accused of being in an affair with, after all. The more paranoid part of yourself even considered if this was some convoluted test; far-fetched, but something you wouldn’t put past your husband and his insane family. Upon further consideration however, you realised that he was just out of options.
Even still, you wondered.
Aside from the fact that you’d never been unfaithful in your marriage, it didn’t help matters knowing that you were going to be in such close proximity with the man that tempted you the most. On many occasions you found yourself wondering why your subconscious picked Toji as your vice. It wasn’t on account of an affection that was absent from your marriage – for fuck’s sake, the man looked at you like you were insignificant. But you soon realised, it wasn’t warmth that you craved. It was the promise of something else, something that you’d never been given in your current relationship; promises made by the fleeting bouts of intense, steeled stares. Promises of nights spent bent over different surfaces, screams and moans of pleasure ripped from your throat by ministrations of long, pretty fingers, plush scarred lips and a fullness between your legs. With the deterioration of your relationship, multiple nights had been spent sneaking off to the bathroom, one hand clamped over your mouth as fantasies of your cousin-in-law brought you closer to the edge than your husband’s presence ever had.
It was unravelling you, slowly but surely, and being permanently under the same roof would be your breaking point.
The feelings of your promiscuity came from a deeper, more hidden part of yourself, however. On the surface, you were still furious at your husband for his blatant disrespect, and some of that anger also directed itself towards Toji for even being complacent in the matter.
Your housemaid had packed you two suitcases, and tittered at you for trying to take what she deemed as ‘unnecessary’. Apparently Mr. Fushiguro would be taking you nowhere worthy of multiple purses, though you could’ve gathered that yourself.
Your goodbyes to your husband were nothing ceremonious, and before you knew it you were settled into the passenger seat of his cousin’s car, enroute to wherever it was that he lived.
Toji didn’t bother switching on the radio to fill the silence of his car, and upon further investigation he didn’t appear ecstatic at his new roommate situation either.
“When did he ask you to do this?” you asked, eventually breaking the stiff silence.
Toji grunted. “He turned up with no warning. Wasn’t exactly asked.”
“Sounds familiar,” you huffed. “Sorry. It’s embarrassing, actually. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“S’not your fault,” he responded gruffly.
You hummed absentmindedly, picking at a newly manicured fingernail. “You uh… have any pets?”
Toji turned to look at you then, face screwed to the side in bewilderment. “Why are you asking me that stupid question?”
Ouch.
“God forbid a woman wants to have a conversation, damn,” you grumbled, trying to push away the embarrassment at your failed joke.
“Uh huuuuh,” he replied lazily, scratching his jaw. “You’re a bit odd, aren’t you.”
It wasn’t even intonated as a question. “Thanks.”
“Hm. Guess girls like you don’t have t’worry about being good talkers, anyhow.”
You spun your head back to face him, bristling at his words. “And what’s that supposed to mean? Girls like me?”
Toji shrugged, hazy green eyes focused on the road. “Girls like you. Pretty, rich girls.”
And yes, you were put out by his blanket, misogynistic statement, even wondering if he was joking. But knowing what he was, Toji was being dead serious. Bringing the matter up in the moment wasn’t particularly appealing to you, especially since you had no reason to believe he was any different from the men you already knew. Instead, you chose to provoke him.
“You think I’m pretty.”
At that, Toji glanced across the vehicle, rolling his eyes at your rebuttal. “You keep starin’ at me like that and I’ll leave you on the side of the road.”
Oddly enough, you felt a stab of pleasure in your gut from the harsh nature of his words, and discreetly crossed a thigh over the other. “You didn’t have to do this, you know.”
“What?”
“Take me in.”
His answer came a little too quickly for your liking. “Nah, I didn’t.”
You bristled at that. “So why did you?”
He thought over your question for a bit, picking at his jaw with a free hand. “Your husband’s a relentless prick.”
“…And?”
He shrugged. “Just business.”
Not the answer you’d hoped for, and you buried the small feeling of disappointment that reared its head.
You didn’t know what you were expecting Toji’s place to look like, but maybe having an expectation would’ve prepared you.
It was small, and looked to be struggling against the test of time. The sofa had deep depressions in the seats from overuse, and the coffee table housed a small collection of empty beer cans. The painted walls were tinged a strange colour, and the even the carpet was littered with strange looking stains. Rather than messy, there were just items in the strangest of places, the starkest example being a broken lamp right in front of the television.
However, you were mindful of his earlier comment about pretty, rich girls and swallowed any smart remarks you had. At the end of the day, you were an uninvited guest.
“Where am I going to sleep?” you asked aloud, following Toji into his kitchen.
“Didn’t think that far ahead,” he admitted, pulling a beer from the fridge.
You wrinkled your nose at the drink. “It’s two in the afternoon.”
“Don’t lecture me,” he growled, stalking over to the couch. The can hissed after he cracked it open. “Didn’t hear me makin’ any smart comments when you were knockin’ back those cocktails.”
You winced, trailing after him and sitting on the opposite side. You tried not to yelp as the seat almost consumed you. “Anyway…!”
“Couch is a pullout, you can take my room,” he offered, flicking on the television.
The idea of sleeping in his bed, engulfed in his scent almost triggered another spiral. “I don’t want to steal your space,” you replied gingerly.
Toji eyed you from across the couch. “And gettin’ into bed with me sounds better?”
You flushed, choosing to remain silent. If only he knew. You pretended to pay attention to whatever he’d put on the television, but your gaze kept darting to the side, trying to sneak glances of your unexpected roommate. He was reclined in the seat, one arm outstretched on the armrest, the other elbow resting on the back of the sofa. Every now and then, he tipped the can into his mouth, the bubbly liquid leaving remnants on his lips that his tongue darted out to catch. His dark hair had grown out a little, raven wavelets curling around the back of his neck and more strands growing over his eyes, caressing the slant of his cheekbone. It suited him, and you found yourself wondering how soft it would feel between your fingers.
Toji’s broad rounded shoulders stretched out his fitted black tee, the material looked as if it was struggling to hold itself in place, huge biceps cutting against the hems. His posture lifted the fabric so some of the tanned skin around his abdomen was exposed, showing a portion of his Calvin Kleins that sat above his joggers. Despite his apparent beer problem, smooth muscle rippled beneath the surface, the slight bumps in his abs creating dips in the fabric.
Oh God.
He shifted slightly, spreading his legs open a little more, and your eyes narrowed in on the bulge that protruded ever so slightly from the waistband of his grey sweats, you could see it move when he bounced his well-built thigh. Your throat went dry at the size.
He’s soft, and it still looks huge.
“Quit starin’ at me.”
You swallowed. “No one’s staring at you, asshole.”
Toji dragged his attention away from the television for a moment. “I can feel your creepy little eyes on me. Quit it.”
His blunted words made your skin prickle, and you clenched your fists. “I said I wasn’t. Get your head out of your ass, and stop acting like a child.”
Your retort snatched his full attention, and he stared at you with a glint in his eyes. “So you weren’t just lookin’ at my dick?”
You were mortified. At the fact that he’d just caught you red-handed, and that you had nothing to say. Your face ran so hot that you would be completely unsurprised if steam started trickling from your ears.
“You—” the word burst from your lips as you jumped to your feet.
Toji blinked at you expectantly.
With nothing else to say, you made a strange little exasperated noise and fled to his bedroom. To your dissatisfaction, you heard the muffled sound of low chuckling behind you. You slammed the door shut.
Your first night with Toji Fushiguro was otherwise uneventful. After your earlier humiliation, you avoided him like the plague. The efforts lasted a blissful few hours until your stomach rumbled, and you had to venture into the kitchen for food. It was apparent that your cousin-in-law thought you incapable of taking care of yourself; but you’d spent enough time in your own kitchen to know that steak, a half carton of milk and two apples weren’t part of a recipe for anything substantial. Consequentially, the idea of asking him for a trip to the grocery store soured your mood. You instead googled nearby takeout places, and just about managed to co-ordinate with him without too much fuss.
Your sleeping arrangements had already been decided, and not too long after eating you curled up in fresh sheets. The events of the last few weeks: clashing with your husband, Ijichi’s absence, even the stability of the family business momentarily grasped your thoughts. But you’d spent a number of restless nights pondering over those already, and ruminating over the same themes began to exhaust you. Instead, your mind instead drifted to the man a room away, trying to come to terms with the fact that it was his bed you were asleep in. His bed that you rolled around in, and his bed that engulfed you in the scent of fresh detergent and a lingering aftershave.
It was pathetic, that you eventually lulled yourself to sleep with thoughts that twisted into something more titillating. Imaginary hands grasped your thighs, smoothing over the skin with a warm presence. They spread your legs and grabbed handfuls of your flesh, gliding over the dampness of your core as you mumbled softly into the pillows. Hooded eyes flashed in the forefront of your dreams, and hard muscles trapped you in a cage of relentless, searing heat.
The next morning wasn’t the first time you woke up to thighs glistening with arousal. Embarrassingly so, it happened on numerous occasions over the next few weeks. Not every night – some were filled with nightmares, dreams of your husband snatching you from the bed with bloodied hands, or the same man that tailed you months ago emerging from a dark corner of the room. Those nights you woke with a start, a thin sheen of sweat coating your skin and a throat so dry you wondered if you’d been screaming. The more pleasant nights had you rushing to the bathroom to clean yourself off. Or, finish what had abruptly stopped in your dreams.
Sometimes you dragged yourself up at dawn to find Toji already gone, the pullout folded back into the worn couch. Those days would have him out multiple nights at a time, not even bothering to let you know when he’d return. Your life hadn’t changed much in that regard. Hours were spent examining the intricacies of your roommate’s apartment, looking through scattered documents and searching for anything to give you a better idea of who the man was. There were scarcely any photos, but you found one tucked away in a drawer, a faded depiction of a woman smiling over her shoulder. That was as far as the pleasantries extended. Other cupboards had the occasional bullet casing, guns and even a few knives that had you slamming the door shut with a paled expression.
When there was nothing left for you to explore, you experimented with cooking and baking, ordering obscene amounts of groceries to fill your time. You sketched, binged watched television, even tried your hand at poetry; which was a testament to your insanity. You’d always hated them in school.
And all that time, your husband didn’t contact you once. Not a message, a phone call, even a damned letter. It was as if he’d vanished off the face of the planet, or maybe he just preferred assuming you had. Your three main friends were all busy, and none of the rest of the family contacted you. And although you truly hated them, a small part of you hurt. All the women you’d previously met at the various galas and events were a hollow imitation of yourself, some of them falling victim to various substances to fill the void. Even still, in the past you’d tried reaching out to them, an attempt to connect with the other women who suffered at the behest of a world built on their backs. But all your endeavours were for naught; your only solace was your phone, and your continuous failed attempts at various hobbies.
One miserable day, you’d picked up reading in hopes of warding off a particularly harsh mood swing and were halfway through the first chapter when you heard the click of a key in the door.
Toji.
He was just returning from one of his longer absences. Whenever he did so, he’d typically fall into a foul mood, the weight of whatever it was he was paid for sitting heavy on his shoulders. That knowledge prevented you from walking out to greet him, and thankfully, saved you from what would’ve otherwise been a mortifying experience.
You heard another voice, soft and feminine, and all the hairs on your body stood on end. The voice mingled with the low baritone of his own, fading into the living room and out of earshot. You sat cross-legged on the bed for ten minutes, time ticking slowly by as you debated how depraved you really were.
Calling it curiosity would’ve been a show of zero integrity. Nosiness was more fitting, to describe the way you gently turned off the lights and cracked the door open. Every instinct in your body screamed that you were acting immorally, but the more childish part of you argued that you had a right to know who was in ‘your’ space. You snuck out into the hallway, stopping by the entrance to the living room and peering into the darkness. The light from the kitchen cast a warm hue over the sofa, and your chest panged at the sight.
Toji stood shirtless in front of the couch, sweats hung low on his hips. Another figure, the woman you heard in the hallway presumably, was sat before him, one hand splayed on his abs. Her blood red nails dragged slowly across the divots. With bated breath you watched, waiting for something. You weren’t sure what for, or why you cared so much, your own nails carving crescents into your palms. Dismay pooled in your chest at the flash of movement, watery eyes absorbing the way he suddenly gripped her wrist. At the sight of the woman stepping towards him you tore your gaze away, stalking back to your room in silence.
Initially, you were pissed. Angry beyond a sensible level, like you’d experienced a personal betrayal. The rotating ceiling fan above the bed fell victim to your sharp glare, each blink throwing daggers into the dusty blades. You were powerless; no justifiable reason to scream and shout at him. You pictured the way he’d ignore you, calling you insane and reminding you of your own husband. Husband. It was almost laughable, actually, how much of an afterthought your own relationship was. You slowly lifted your left hand, centering your vision on it until the ceiling fan blurred. The weighty diamond housed in the crown of the ring glinted in the silvery moonlight, flashing with each thud of your chest. Irritation that previously prickled your skin burned into guilt around the ring finger of your left hand, and your heart heavied. You were green with envy over the sight of a man who wasn’t your husband fucking another woman. And scarily enough, after the initial revelation faded, you found that guilt fading.
At some point you must’ve fallen asleep, limbs akimbo and hair sprawled around you in a halo. The intense, sudden urge to pee stabbed your bladder, and you pulled yourself up while rubbing an eye. You dragged yourself to the bathroom, vision cloudy from your recently concluded nap. Any previous psychoanalyses of your feelings were dimmed by a foggy mind, and you almost didn’t register the steady beat of water against tile. You stopped yourself just in time. The door was ajar, and you peered in to see Toji’s tall figure in the shower cubicle. Alone – hours later, you suspected he’d finished his business and wanted to clean off.
A flickering started between your legs at the sight of his bare skin, back muscles flexing and relaxing while soap suds sluiced off his body. He was so tall, towering in the small space and appearing as if carved by a Greek god; contours in his flesh danced as muscle rippled. The flickering metamorphosed into dull thumps when he turned, back now to the wall. His chest was endless, smooth and defined, littered with scars that glistened under the overhead light. There was just so much of him. Bulging biceps and mouth wateringly heavy pecs that contrastingly tapered down, past converging traps to a slim waist dusted with a happy trail. Dull thumps grew into an uncomfortable panging at the sight of his dick; he was hung like a horse. A shade darker than the rest of him, it looked around six inches soft. His heavy balls hung low, dusted with short black hair. His tip was a pretty pink shade, round and uncut, and you were sure you drooled a little, tongue picturing the salty musk he’d taste of. All of a sudden it twitched, and you gaze flicked up, horrified to see Toji staring back at you, pink lips quirked at the corner with the faintest of smirks.
At the sight of him reaching down, giving himself two experimental strokes, you fled.
You escaped back to your room, where you locked the door behind you and flicked the lights off. The uncomfortable panging persisted as you shimmied out of your outfit, adorning a loose pyjama set to let your skin breathe. At first you were mortified that you’d been caught, watching him in the shower like some loser, even if it was accidental at the start. Alas, the embarrassment was short lived, soon succumbing to the more appealing image of his body under the streams of water. You squeezed your eyes shut until colourful shapes danced behind your lids, but it did nothing to soothe the throbbing of your core.
Even as you lay beneath the covers an hour later you trembled, the image of his teasing expression haunting you. His jade eyes flashed, a clear enough message in them while he dropped a hand to squeeze his cock. In the entire time you’d been away from your home, you’d not touched yourself in his bed once. Something about it felt too intimate, wrong. But that night you buried your face in the pillow, his fading scent tempted you more than it had done before. Your cunt grew slick, bright pink panties ruined by the arousal that dripped from you. You were burning beneath the covers, but relished in the envelope that it provided you, a shield for the way you tentatively reached a hand down into your panties.
Your imagination blossomed then, painting a pretty picture of the aftermath of your fleeing. Toji continued stroking his length, huffing as it grew to full hardness. He’d smooth the beads of precum that oozed out with his fingers, allowing his grip to slide over his cock easily. You swallowed a whine, desperate from you dragging a finger across your slit. It was filthy, the way copious amounts of cream allowed your finger to slide through with little resistance. Your mind flashed images of him, and you didn’t even have the resolve to drag it out, already feeling the pleasure building in your core.
Your free hand reached beneath your slip to tug at a nipple, and your eyes closed at the pulse it sent up your spine.
“M’fuck…”
It felt good, so good, the slow thrust of your fingers against your walls even though your wrist ached. You pictured Toji above you, imagining your fingers were his length, pounding into you and twisting your soft whines until they grew higher in pitch. The sounds of his grunts filled your mind, low and sinful, one hand gripping your hip, the other holding the headboard. It was wicked, the way you could almost hear the words he’d growl about your unfaithfulness, calling you such mean things as his balls met your ass. You panted, spine arching after your free hand rubbed swift circles into your clit. A final picture with Toji’s cock buried deep inside you, cum spilling around his girth sent you over the edge, and you muffled yourself with a free hand as you came undone.
Your chest rose and fell while you stared at the ceiling, fingers damp with your spend. Dread and helplessness washed over you that night, identical to a few hours prior. The silver band of the ring swiped against your finger, slick with the remnants of your arousal. You were trapped in marriage that seemed to rot with each passing day. Trapped in an apartment so small that there was no escape from the man that had always accelerated that decay, and your chest tore at the irony of your torment; the proximity to source of your sins was a more fitting punishment than any.
The next morning, your mood was black enough to rival coal.
Between your escapades with Toji and your revelation at the end of the night, you had reached the end of your tether. You crawled out of bed at the crack of dawn, brushed your teeth a little harder than normal and retreated to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, only remembering the milk had run out after you put the kettle on.
“Fuck my life,” you grumbled as you slammed the fridge door shut, rubbing a hand down your face.
Footsteps padded on the floor behind you, and you spotted Toji making his way over to the tap. He was on his way to the gym most likely, clad in basketball shorts and a white compression tee that drew out all the dips and troughs of his chest. Memories of the night before flooded your mind, and your cheeks heated at the recollection of him catching you in the middle of being a creep. Accidental or not.
“What’s got yer panties in a twist,” he grumbled, morning voice deepening his drawl. You always found it funny that he never intonated his questions correctly, each sentence always seemed to fall flat.
“I’m losing my mind, that’s what.” you grumbled, pulling yourself up on the counter.
He filled a water bottle at the tap, yawning obnoxiously in the process. “Maybe if y’actually went outside you’d feel better.”
You turned to look at him sharply then, shock evident on your face. “But I thought…”
Toji scratched his abdomen tiredly and shut off the tap. “Huh?”
You shook your head, lips pursed in contemplation. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to leave.”
For the second time, the first more memorable occasion being all those weeks ago in your penthouse, he stared at you, the words ‘this woman is stupid’ practically scribbled on his forehead. You couldn’t help but wiggle in embarrassment.
“Why the hell would anyone stop you?”
It was that one question that made you almost crumple on that counter. To him, an outsider, the idea of keeping you locked away was such a foreign concept that it quite literally didn’t make sense. And you struggled with that internally for a while, furious at the small kernel in your mind that swelled with a dangerously warm feeling. Something so simple; describing it as the ‘bare minimum’ was an overexaggeration in itself. You pocketed the feeling away. “Back at home I…” You paused your sentence abruptly, feeling rather uncomfortable at pouring out your feelings for a man that most likely didn’t care.
But to your surprise, an aggravated look crossed his face. Gone within a split second, but you saw. “Yer a grown woman. And you’ve been in this shit long enough that you know the risks.”
Toji paused, thinking for a moment. “If it’s protection y’worried about, I can help with that.”
You nodded gratefully, pulse thumping at the anticipation of finally getting your life back. It had been long, agonising months of torture, but finally, a glimmer of hope shone over the horizon. You observed Toji mess around with the fridge, moving aside your late night creations in search of his protein shake. In your curiosity, you’d taken a sip from the bottle once, immediately regretting your decision. The things were foul, a nasty amalgamation of clashing favours that the artificial tang of vanilla whey powder did no favours. You couldn’t help the grimace on your face at the sight of him pulling it from a shelf, an ominous sloshing filling the air as he shook the bottle. As your thoughts wandered, you failed to notice your thighs falling open, a flash of pink catching Toji’s attention.
His slow blink rendered you hyperaware of what you were wearing, that tiny slip dress that barely covered your ass, and a bright pink pair of panties that peeked below the hem. You slammed your legs together.
“Hm.” Toji smirked, rubbing a hand over his chest. “Funny.”
“What?”
He shrugged nonchalantly, taking a gulp from his bottle. “So I can’t get a view of your panties, but you can perv on me in the shower?”
You clenched your jaw, praying he couldn’t see the goosebumps that rose on your arms. “I was half asleep. I didn’t know you were in there until I… saw.”
He nodded slowly, lazy eyes dragging across your slip. “Yer welcome. Sounded like you needed it.”
“Huh?”
“Last night.” Another sip. “I heard you.”
Oh. No no no no no.
You cleared your throat, leaning back and bracing yourself against the surface. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He snorted, quirking an eyebrow as he leaned against the counter. “Mmm. Must’ve been the wind.”
The idea of Toji knowing a glimpse of him in the shower was enough to finish you almost sent you into orbit. You knew he was goading a rise out of you, and it was almost working.
“And I’m the victim here.” you retorted sharply. “I heard you.”
His brow creased for a beat, analysing the meaning behind your words. “Dunno what you were hearing, ‘cause I didn’t fuck her. If that’s what yer gettin’ at.”
You swallowed, feeling very silly all of a sudden. “Oh.”
His eyes flashed at your sudden reclusiveness. “That’s what was pissin’ you off?”
You stayed silent, chewing your lip awkwardly.
Toji huffed a laugh, taking a few steps towards you. “There’s no way, a married woman is jealous that other people are fuckin’. Right?”
Silence.
His sudden proximity allowed you to feel the heat rolling off him, warming your skin as you averted your eyes. Your heart thrummed in your chest, and you were all too aware of your hardening nipples, poking through your dress. Toji noticed too, eyebrow quirking in realisation as he cocked his head. The silence stretched out over a handful of seconds, your back tensing.
“M’not jealous.”
A pink tongue darted out to wet Toji’s lips, and he set his bottle on the counter beside you. Long arms reached either side of you, trapping you on the counter. “Look me in the eyes and say that again.”
His voice dropped, softer now that his bright green eyes bore holes in your face. You lifted your chin and met his levelled stare. “I’m not jealous.”
Toji’s scar twitched; he was holding back a grin. A sudden movement caught your eye, and you watched his hand drift towards your thigh. It burned against your skin, long fingers wrapped around muscle to rub small circles into the flesh. Your breath audibly hitched, pulse rising as the small circles rose higher.
“When was the last time he fucked you?”
Your lids fluttered, heart now pounding in your chest. You blinked at him. “H-Huh?”
Toji moved even closer to you, using the hand on your thigh to push your legs apart a little. Your knees brushed against his hips, electricity sparking where you touched. “When was the last time he fucked you?”
“I… I don’t know…” you murmured truthfully.
“Hm,” he hummed thoughtfully, half-lidded eyes fixing you in place. “Maybe that’s why yer busy rubbin’ that pussy in my bed.”
And you made zero effort, none at all, to even try and stop him when he lowered his head to your heaving chest, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. You mewled at the sensation, the warmth of his mouth seeping through the material of your slip and igniting your chest. The scent of Toji’s cedar shampoo wafted into your face, heightening your senses in the moment. Your pussy fluttered, the remnants of your arousal from last night trickling out with a brand new flood. Toji gently nipped you through the fabric, tongue smoothing over your peak when your breath hitched in pain. He was barely touching you, and you already felt more alive then when you’d touched yourself.
“Fuck, Toji…” you moaned breathily, bucking your hips in search for friction. Your damp core met his hardening cock at a delicious angle, and the both of you groaned.
The moment was short-lived however, as the sound of a phone ringing ripped you from the depths of your mind. Toji hissed, pulling away from you reluctantly to retrieve it from his pocket.
“What.”
A man’s voice on the other end; you couldn’t make out the words, and the sound was too tinny for you to glean who it was.
Toji grumbled. “Do we have to do this now?”
He pulled away from you completely, and you frowned at the loss of contact.
“Right.” Toji moved to the space beside you, reclined against the counter top with an arm folded underneath his elbow. “Got about ten minutes.”
He engaged whoever it was on the phone, mind slipping into a professional gear to match the conversation. You watched, growing wetter from just listening to him talk. As He’d already mentioned before, you were no stranger to the inner workings of the business, and thought Toji had already left, his line of work hadn’t strayed too far from before. Despite the fact that whatever job he now spoke about was far from moral, your thighs clenched.
Your patience lasted for all of about two minutes before the cogs in your mind started turning, mischief dropping a couple of seeds in the process. Pushing yourself off the countertop, your socked feet hit the ground with a soft thump. While Toji muttered away, you gently lowered yourself to your knees, looking up at him with soft, hazy eyes. His own expression flashed warning, but you paid him no mind as you placed an open mouthed kiss to the tent in his sweats. His length was hot, throbbing under the pressure you applied, and you moaned softly at the sensation. Your lips ventured over his cock, tongue lolling over his stiffening heat while you looked up at him. Finding his tip through the fabric, you sucked hard, pulling a small hiss from his mouth.
“Yes, I’m listening.” Toji retorted with effort. “Stop dicking around, Masaru.”
At the mention of your husband’s name you froze, looking up at Toji with a drawn expression. Your heart stuttered as a familiar, aching feeling of guilt cleaved your chest. On your knees, another man’s dick was in your hand while your husband was on the phone. You almost stopped, retreating back to your room in shame, until you caught Toji’s eyes. They flashed in a challenge, lips pulling up at the corner cockily. You debated a few beats, then held that stare defiantly to tug his sweats and boxers down in one swipe.
His cock sprung up, softly colliding with his stomach. It was almost just how you saw it the day before, thick and pretty, with a bead of translucent precum oozing from the tip. But now, his shaft was decorated with veins that throbbed under the pressure. It was flushed a pinkish-red colour, the blush most noticeable at the tip that glistened in the light. Most noticeably was the change in his length, much longer now that he was hard. It was obscene, so big that taking it all in would be a struggle. Your mouth watered obscenely, and you used a hand to stroke his length, squeezing slightly to encourage more pre to trickle out. Toji’s voice had been firm up to that point, but he wavered a little at the feeling of you jerking him off.
“Okay. So what d’you need to tell him… fuck.”
He cursed at the feeling of you pressing a thumb to his slit, precum bubbling out of the sides of your finger. Your lip caught underneath your teeth as you grinned coyly at him, opening your mouth to tap him against your tongue.
“No, I just–! Dropped… something,” Toji grunted. “You’ve got five more minutes.”
You used the pause in his words to wrap your lips around his girth, grabbing the meat of his thighs to steady yourself. You swirled your grip around the parts of him you couldn’t reach, smoothing the spit that coated his tip over the entirety of his length. Toji grunted, half in acknowledgement of whatever he was being told, half in response to your tongue that licked more of him down your throat.
“Then… ask him to take the money and fuck off.”
His voice jerked as you deepthroated his entire length, eyes watering from the pressure in your throat. Your nose burned whilst you took a moment to adjust your breathing, chest heaving from lack of oxygen. You fixed your watery gaze on Toji, rubbing your sopping thighs together at the lewdness of the scene. It was a struggle to keep quiet but the thrill of it spurred you on, pushing you to move your head and swallow the sticky pre that painted the back of your throat. A steady shlick shlick shlick filled the kitchen; the salacious noise of you deepthroating him. Your belly roiled in anticipation at the soft groans that Toji uttered.
“No. I’m. Not. Gettin’ involved.” Toji hissed, wrapping a hand around the back of your head as he started thrusting into your mouth. “Only reason I’m even listenin’ is ‘cause I told you I’d… finish the job.”
After a while you gagged, the messy noise prompting you to pull off his length and catch your breath. A thin string of spit hung in the air, connecting your swollen lips to the tip of his cock.
“Don’t worry about what I’m doin’.” He muttered, moving the phone away from his ear. You’d sucked his balls into your mouth, and he took the break in conversation to compose himself. Your tongue danced over his skin, suckling softly against the flesh while your free hand stroked his length.
He grunted. “Your wife’s doin’ great by the way.”
You paused for a moment, that feeling of sickening guilt earlier morphing into disdain. He hadn’t even asked about you. And so, you turned your attention back to Toji’s cock, eager to make him finish while he was on the phone. You moaned softly as he straightened up, fucking your mouth with increased vigour in search of his tipping point. Toji’s hot length pulsed in your mouth, veins thrumming against your tongue and you traced them between thrusts. His hips faltered and rhythm broke, balls hitting your chin with soft thwacks. You whined softly, watching his brow crease in pleasure.
“Mouth’s full right now. She’s eatin’.”
At those words he broke; a load of hot, thick cum painting your tongue and throat. There was so much of it, his balls tightening against your face to spill every last drop in your mouth. So much of it that some eventually splashed up your nose; tickling you and triggering a sneeze, and a small amount dribbled out the side of your mouth. You were a mess, staggering to your feet with tear-stained cheeks and dribbles of his spend decorating your lips. Toji pulled you in by the neck and sucked the corner of your lips slowly, tongue slipping between the seam for a brief moment. Wet stringy smacks filled the air, the obscene sounds of him licking insides of your mouth making your head spiral. Your eyes fluttered shut as he stroked his tongue against yours, a needy whine rising from your throat.
He pulled away eventually, grip still secured around the back of your throat. With irises swallowed whole by enlarged pupils, he grinned as he said, “Nah. It tastes aright, actually.”
When Toji said he’d provide you with protection, you were keenly aware of what he meant.
After all, it wasn’t your first time arming yourself for a cozy day out. But this time, the implications were stronger. A weighty 9mm rested in your hands, the cool metal tingling your fingertips. You found it on your bed the next day, the safety on and a scribble of barely legible handwriting telling you to be careful. The steel stared back at you, igniting a feeling of dread that didn’t quite disappear once you tucked it away in your bag.
The first place you made a beeline for was the bookstore, ambling towards the section that housed the next instalment of a series you’d started. Reading quickly became your next favourite pastime, and provided a pleasant change of pace from your otherwise tightly strung life. In fact you picked it up with such fervour that the days Toji spent away, doing God knows what passed by slightly quicker; your attention snatched away by a perfect form of escapism.
On one of those days, you sat in a new café you’d found, sharing a rapidly diminishing slice of cake with Ijichi, who’d finally contacted you on a random afternoon off.
“And is he treating you well?” he asked smoothly.
The situation was rather amusing for you, actually. It was by your own whim that the two of you were sat together, having sought for a more friendly atmosphere than Toji’s dingy flat. At first, Ijichi had sat straight-backed in his chair, feeling out of place by your ‘unprofessionalism’. Over the last ten minutes however, he’d finally relaxed, looking much more at ease by your chatty demeanour.
“He’s alright,” you shrugged, scooping up some chocolate sauce. “Not very friendly.”
“Ah,” your companion nodded. “Unfortunately that doesn’t surprise me. He almost knocked me down when leaving your home once. It’s like I wasn’t even there!”
“You should’ve slapped him.”
“Ma’am!”
You giggled at Ijichi’s exasperated gasp, waving your hand in the air. “I’m only pulling your leg. Lord knows he wouldn’t take that on the chin.”
A comfortable silence fell, and you mushed a few fudgy crumbs with the back of your spoon. “And how’s my husband doing?”
A cloud fell over Ijichi’s face at the change in topic. “His mood has seen… better days. I’m sure you’re aware of the current situation, so he’s a lot more wound up.”
“I’m not aware actually.”
“Ma’am?”
You gestured feebly in the air. “Of the current situation. I haven’t spoken to him since I left.”
Ijichi appeared confused at that, brow creasing slightly. “At all?”
You shook your head. “I was there once, when he called Toji.” You promptly suppressed the other memories of that day. “He didn’t even ask about me.”
Ijichi bristled, your dear friend looking quite angry on your behalf. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
You chuckled softly. “Don’t be. It makes for a nice change, not having him breathing down my neck.”
Ijichi appeared conflicted for a moment, before sighing and dropping his head. His voice dropped to a lower volume. “Two more locations have fallen.”
You stiffened, throat growing dry.
“The family is preparing for the worst, but with the current high risk of intel leakage, things have gone quite awry,” he continued.
You digested the information, wondering what the hell was going to happen to not only you, but all the other people involved in the mess. With a frown, you turned to Ijichi. “You should leave.”
“I… can’t, ma’am. The job—”
You shook your head firmly, fists balling. “Not when your life is in danger, Ijichi. You being the behind the wheel significantly puts you at risk. I can’t let that happen. I can make arrangements—”
Your words were cut off, a feeling of warmth surrounding your knuckles. Ijichi was smiling at you, a tender expression gracing his features. “Thank you, ma’am. You’re a wonderful friend.” He drew his hand away, speaking more firmly. “But, I can’t. Not yet, at least. I have ears; if things take a turn for the worst, then…” He nodded. “Then I’ll leave.”
You left the warm reunion with a sick feeling in your stomach. Ostensibly, you feared more for Ijichi and the other workers than your own family. Ijichi especially, since as you stated earlier, his position put him at much higher risks of ‘freak attacks’ than anyone else; it wouldn’t be the first time that such things had happened. Despite your warning, the man’s stupid dedication wouldn’t allow him to get the hell out of there while he still had a chance. All you could do was pray, and hope that everything would resolve itself.
A week or so later, your worry for Ijichi began mingling with a small feeling of unease, but for something admittedly a lot more selfish than the wellbeing of your family.
The weight of your infidelity sat heavy on your shoulders.
Your hatred towards your husband was no revelation; that was a long-brewed result of the cold relationship you’d suffered for years. Regardless, the discomfort sat like a stone in your stomach that no amount of cooking and reading could alleviate. At first, you presumed it was because of Naoya’s unfortunate prophecy at the dinner. His malicious words hit hard then, even more so now that you’d practically confirmed his ‘suspicions’ like a puppet. You then wondered it stemmed from that small part of you that remained nineteen, stupidly giddy at the thought of marrying a man who could gift her the world. That younger version hadn’t yet lived through the torment of your current life, and for her, the thought of brushing vows aside for a few moments of pleasure was incomprehensible.
But no, the source of your discomfort wasn’t any sort of regret, for either of those facts.
It was obsession.
Toji hadn’t spoken to you once since that night, aside from the slip of paper you found on your bed.
Naivety led you to think that he felt guilty, for betraying his cousin. That was soon refuted by recollection of his sentiments towards the family, he quite literally couldn’t give less of a fuck if they all dropped dead, save the minor headache it would cause him. It hurt more to realise that he just didn’t care; in his eyes you were just another quick fuck that so conveniently happened to be under his roof. You weren’t expecting a grand show of affection or profession of love, but radio silence? Nothing at all? Your ego couldn’t take it.
So, you did what you knew best and schemed.
A pair of panties forgotten on the bathroom floor.
A bra in his underwear draw.
Your perfume wafting up from the sofa cushions.
The handful of times he was around, you clad yourself in more of those slips, pretending to forget yourself as you bent over to grab something from a cupboard. Over the next few days you continuously left small fragments of yourself all over the apartment, eager to get some sort of reaction out of him.
Payoff came on a day when he returned from a two day excursion, limbs heavy with fatigue.
You had just concluded a deep dive on an online forum, full of people that were looking to get back into work after a long absence. Just curiosity, you told yourself. That life was long behind you, after all.
A heavy clank tore your attention away from the TV, and you turned to watch Toji dump a conspicuous looking bag on the floor.
“Long day?” You asked, shifting your feet away from his designated seat on the couch.
He grunted in response, tilting his head back as he sank into the space.
“There’s blood on your hands.”
It was just a smudge, barely visible in the low light of the room, but you noticed nevertheless. Toji opened one eye, glancing at his bloodied knuckle. “Nosebleed.”
“Uh huuuh,” you drawled, cling your tongue. “First thing you say to me in almost two weeks, and it’s a complete lie.”
At that, he gave you his full attention, green eyes blinking at you sideways. “What are you talking about?”
You exhaled, muting the show and turning to face him head-on. “Are we not gonna talk about it?”
“About what.”
You bristled, patience wearing thin. “For fuck’s sake, Toji. This isn’t a confession booth.”
He crossed his ankles, outstretched limbs almost reaching past the coffee table. “Dunno what you want me to say.”
Your face fell. “Literally anything? I’ve barely seen you once, you’re always disappearing off to fuck knows where and the last time we actually spoke…” You grimaced.
“You’re not my wife. In case you forgot.”
Oh.
Anger gripped you then, so hot that your nerves tingled. “Fuck you.”
He snorted, rubbing his forehead tiredly. “Like I said. What d’you want me to say? I told you to keep me out of yer shitshow of a relationship for a reason. I can’t give you what you want.”
“How do you know what I want?”
The question was sharp. It hung in the air like a bomb waiting to drop. Toji looked at you in that silence, eyes narrowed at your clenched jaw.
“You know fuck all,” you scoffed.
“Yeah?” He chuckled dryly.
“You feel guilty,” you murmured.
Toji shook his head. “Nah. S’not that. Want me to be honest?”
You stayed silent, eyes unblinking as you matched his levelled stare.
“I couldn’t give less of a fuck about yer husband,” he drawled, rubbing his jaw. “But you feel guilty. And nothing I’ll do to you s’gonna help that. I can’t give you shit.”
Your stomach flipped at his words.
“I don’t need you to make me feel better,” you said flatly.
His tongue poked at the inside of his cheek, dark eyes fixed on you.
“You said it yourself,” you cleared your throat, twisting the silver ring around your finger. Its weight bothered you more and more each day. “I can make my own decisions.”
Toji cocked his head to the side, scar twitching. “Then what do you want?”
You stood up. Took a deep breath. Toji’s heavy gaze tracked your every movement as you held out your left hand and slowly slid the silver off your ring finger. Threw it onto the coffee table.
You stared at him. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
The hot water streamed down your back, soothing muscles sore from hours hunched over a screen.
Your words were clear enough. Even so, when the bathroom door pushed open your heart thumped in your chest. Back to the door, you could only hear the soft thump of clothes hitting the floor. You rubbed water out of your eyes, still too nervous to turn when the cubicle door slid open. With the imposing of Toji’s large figure, you were pushed towards the taps, hissing softly as the cold metal pressed into your skin.
“Pass the shower gel.”
You complied, grasping the bottle from the shelf and pushing it into his hand. Heat radiated from his body, searing your skin more noticeably than the scalding temperature of the water. Tanned skin flashed to the right of your vision, and you faltered at the feeling of his broad chest pressing into your back.
“You’re squishing me.” you sniffed.
“Hm.” Toji hummed, “Didn’t notice.”
Warm, calloused hands dragged a lather over your shoulders. They moved slowly, shifting hair aside to rub circles into your neck and upper back.
The massage was pleasant; your constant curved spine during reading sessions hadn’t done you any favours. But the aches and pains ebbed away as he gently applied pressure, and you moaned softly as his fingers meandered over your collar bones, wrists skimming over your chest.
A huffed laugh behind you.
“What?”
“That’s exactly how y’sounded when I walked past yer room the other day,” Toji said, the rumbles from his chest tickling your back.
“I don’t know what you mean,” you quipped, ever so slightly leaning into his touch.
“Yeah?”
You hummed.
Toji’s hands shifted lower, each of them grabbing a handful of your chest. Your skin was sensitive, hot to the touch, and the sudden feeling of him massaging your tits eased a sigh from your throat.
“Somethin’ like that,” he said, voice flat. He kneaded the flesh, thumbs running over your hardening nipples as you tried to keep your noises at bay. “And there was this other noise. Sounded wet.”
You moaned softly, head falling back to rest on his chest. “Toji…”
“Huh. That too,” he mocked, tweaking your nipples between thumb and forefinger. Your hips jerked backwards, another sigh trickling out at the feeling of his dick against your lower back.
“I was thinking… about you,” you mewled.
“Mhm hmm,” he dragged out the syllables, vibrations from his lips prickling your neck as he lowered his face to the crevice.
“F-fucking me,” you whispered, voice low in embarrassment.
Toji sucked a small pinch of your neck into his mouth, tongue smoothing over the soreness as your breath hitched. A groan bubbled from his throat as he slowly thrusted his cock through your ass cheeks, smushed together from how close you stood. “After you were watchin’ me in the shower, hmm?” His palms squeezed your tits again, easing another moan from you as he pulled against your peaks.
You could almost feel the hickeys forming from the pressure he applied to your neck, nipping and nibbling at your skin enough for it to sting. One of the hands cupping your tits glided over your skin, moving down until your mound was nestled against his palm. You hips stuttered, unsure whether to chase his engorged length behind you or the calloused fingers swiping against your wetness.
“Please…” you panted.
He obliged, pushing a finger into your clenching entrance as he licked against a new bruise.
The subtle stretch was delicious, and you pulsed around him. Soft pants filled the air as you relished the sensation of his finger dragging against your walls, another whine escaping when he added a second finger. He was rougher than he’d been earlier, rubbing those gentle circles into your back. One hand still grasped your tit, pinching and pulling, while the other fucked into you, more intensely now. Pleasure bubbled in your core as you bounced against him slightly, gripping for dear life on the taps you’d previously scorned.
“M’fuckkk,” you whimpered. “F-feels good…”
His fingers suddenly disappeared, and the lack of stability made you stagger a little. Just for a second, as he turned you around and pressed you against the cold tile wall. You were out of sorts, bottom lip swollen from your teeth’s assault and chest heaving as you huffed in air. Hazy eyes met Toji’s in the steamy cubicle, your knees almost buckling at the greed that flashed in them. Then, he crashed his lips into yours. One of his hands was planted somewhere above your head, supporting his weight as he devoured you. He bit your lower lip, swiped his tongue against yours and groaned while doing so. Wet smacks filled the air as he gripped your lower jaw, pressing his mouth even harder against you if it was possible. Just before he pulled away, his plush, pink lips suctioned around your tongue, pulling off of it with a wet smack while his fingers slipped back into you.
“So filthy,” he muttered, eyes drinking in the obscene image of your hips bucking to meet his thrusts. “Swallowin’ my fingers up.”
The pleasure bubbling in your core intensified, rushing at you in waves so intense your whines grew more frequent. With every push, the heel of his palm would smack against your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure up through your middle. You glanced down, eyes fixed on his dick that pressed into your thigh. He was so hard, rock solid against you, and as your skin pressed against him he hissed. His swollen tip trailed pearlescent pre over your thigh, the milky white trails drawing dirty patterns over your flesh. And your mouth watered. With a shaking finger you scooped some of it up, staring straight into his eyes as you sucked the mess into your mouth.
Toji grunted at that, and used his thumb to massage circles into your engorged clit. The new pleasure was too much, and you yelped, almost falling to the ground. The hand beside your head scooped you up, bicep pressing against your cheek as you trembled. It was delicious, the feeling of hard muscle pressing against you, and your tongue lolled out to lick at his skin as your orgasm peered over the horizon.
“Fuck.” Toji hissed, cupping the back of your head to shield you from the wall.
“M’gonna cum…” you mewled, nails digging into his skin. “Oh God…!”
You came crashing down, peak smacking into you with such a force that your hearing went out for a bit. It hit you like a truck, whines growing higher and higher in pitch until they were breathless. Toji’s fingers didn’t stop all the way through, now soaked with your arousal that even the shower water couldn’t keep at bay. Each thrust of his fingers prolonged the high, intensifying the pleasure until it gave way to slight discomfort.
As your hearing came back, you wriggled against the wall, clawing back breath. Toji’s fingers slipped from you, and he dragged the sticky mess across your cheek, shoving them in your mouth for you to clean off. Your sensitive core pulsed as he licked along the same stripe, dragging his tongue against your cheek before joining you at the lips. It was a disorientating, a disarray of fingers and lips at your mouth, but you relished in it, licking at sucking at any part of him that reached your tongue. Toji eventually pulled away, grunting at the taste of your arousal that coated his tongue.
“Bed. Now,” was all he said.
It was uncomfortable at first, the feeling of the sheets sticking to your damp skin, but your concerns soon fell away. You were perched on the end of the bed, thighs squeezed together tightly as you gazed up at Toji with lidded eyes. He was stood in front of you, hardened length a couple of inches from your face, and your pussy clenched, hard.
It reminded you of your encounter in the kitchen, tiles digging into your knees as you sucked him off. Your husband had been none the wiser, and although you were conflicted at first, the excitement of your deviance now tickled your skin.
“Get it wet f’me,” he said gruffly, wet hair dripping into his eyes.
You obeyed, leaning forward to swallow down as much of his cock as you could. The intrusion stung initially, and you swallowed down gags from the sheer size. His pre smeared against the back of your tongue as you accommodated more of him, tangy and sharp. His taste was addicting, lulling your mind into a deeper pleasure whilst your spit coated his length.
Toji groaned softly, slowly thrusting his hips into your throat. The hair at his base tickled your nose when you finally took him all in, before he pulled you off sharply. One hand wrapped around the back of your head, holding you at a distance as he used the other to jerk himself off slowly. You whimpered, pussy throbbing at the sight of his fist encircling his entire girth. Up and down, up and down he slid his hand, squeezing slightly at the base. It sounded wet and depraved, your spit allowing him to stroke his cock with little resistance. You were entranced. Beads of pre seeped from his reddened tip, dripping onto his knuckles while he forced you to watch.
“Look at you watchin’,” he chuckled lowly. “Yer mouth’s open.”
Embarrassingly enough, it was.
“Please,” you whispered softly, dragging your eyes away from his cock. “Please, Toji. Need you to fuck me.”
“Really.” He drawled, releasing you and pushing you down on the bed. “Thought so, with all yer panties that have been showin’ up.”
You swallowed, blinking up at him slowly. “Oops.”
He chuckled lowly, hovering over you as you shuffled further up the bed. “Think I found six of them last week. The fuck you been wearin’?”
You giggled coyly at that. “Nothing.”
Toji’s eyes narrowed, and he spread open your legs. His head lowered to your leaking cunt, licking a wide stripe from your entrance all the way to your clit. You squealed, thighs pressing against his palms at the pleasure and overstimulation that spiked through you. You were still sensitive from his earlier assault on your pussy, but the delight of his tongue against your cunt sent you spiralling.
“Toji…!” You mewled.
He cursed, raising his head and moving up your body. “You’re so fucking desparate.”
He sucked at your nipple, nipping with teeth as you felt the tip of his cock swiping through your pussy lips. And the feeling, the feeling was so intense that your hips jumped. Toji growled, other hand immediately snapping up to pin you down. You whined at the restriction, wriggling in his grip as he continued that torturous swiping.
“Stay still.” He grumbled, latching on your other nipple.
You tried your best, you truly did, but you couldn’t help the small jerks of pleasure that took you each time his leaky tip brushed over your clit. You were caught between him and the sheets, pussy tingling and nipples hardening as he continued his brutal assault. Each swipe of his cock smeared your arousals together, making a sticky mess beneath you that clung to the sheets.
“Please…” you whined.
And finally, he obliged. His string of patience snapped at your begging, and he pushed himself into your hole. It hurt a little, alleviated by the earlier prep his fingers gave you, but still. Toji was huge, and you properly came to terms with the fact when inch after inch of his cock pushed past your tight entrance. He tried to move slowly, but his impatience and heavy balls spurred him on, making you wriggle in discomfort. At last he bottomed out, the two of you panting into each other’s mouths at the feeling of his tip nestled against your walls.
Toji pulled his hips back, snapping back into you with such force that your nails flew to his shoulders.
“It’s… so big,” you hiccupped, eyes teary from the fullness.
“You’ve been begging me for so long,” Toji grunted, hips steadying into a rhythm. “And now you’re complanin’?”
You shook your head, moaning softly each time his hips met yours. “Feels good. Y’stretch me out so good.”
“Fuck.”
Toji’s pace increased, the room now filled with the sounds of wet slaps and sighs. Both of you had long since dried off from the shower, but now a thin sheen of sweat covered your skin, clammy where you joined. It was so wet, his dick quickly accumulated a ring of white from your cream, and you moaned wantonly at the sight of it.
“Makin’ such a pretty mess around my cock, baby,” he grunted between thrusts. “So wet f’me.”
You keened, nails dragging across his back for purchase as he hiked your thighs higher. Each time he bottomed out you’d see stars, a couple of tears sliding down your cheeks from the immense pleasure. You were so hot and so was he, sweat amplifying that lewd slapping sound when you connected.
You pulled him down for a kiss and swallowed each other’s noises, tongues swirling against each other in a sloppy embrace. He released your legs for a moment, allowing you to lock your ankles around his waist. You dug them into his back, feeling each thrust twice as your heels knocked against him.
“Fuck, y’so tight.” Toji winced, grunting to reach up and grab the headboard. The new purchase gave rise to a deeper, more intense angle, and he slowed his rhythm to a delicious roll.
“Oh—!” You babbled, nails scratching ribbons down his back. “S-So good.”
“Y’husband can’t fuck you like this, huh?” Toji said, each word emphasised by a snap of his hips. “That’s why you came here begging me for it.”
You nodded weakly, feeling your walls start to grip him tighter. “C-can’t make me cum like you.”
He grinned at you, hooking one leg back over his shoulder as he continued that brutal pace. The bed squeaked incessantly, grating against your ears. Plap plap plap! Your peak had long since been building, bundles of tension growing deep in your belly. Toji’s heavy balls slapped against your ass, and you keened at the thought of him filling you to the brim, drowning your cunt in a heavy load of cum.
“Can’t hold it…” you whimpered, pulling at tendrils of black hair at his nape. The headboard slammed against the wall.
“Shit, give it to me.” Toji hissed, maintaining those deep, forceful thrusts.
A few more smacks, and you snapped, throat hoarse from overuse. Your vision went black as you squeezed your eyes shut, and you clamped down on him hard. Toji groaned, caught in your vice grip as he fucked you through it, brow creased in pleasure. Instead of hitting you like a truck, this orgasm rolled over you in waves, each crash sending a little jerk through your spine as you sobbed.
But he didn’t stop. Toji flipped you to the side, nestling behind you as he fucked you sideways. Your orgasm began to ebb, making way for the white hot flashes of overstimulation as he bullied his way into your pussy.
“T-Toji!” You wept, gripping onto his fingers that gripped your hip.
“One more,” he hissed. “One more f’me, can you do that?”
You sucked your lip into your mouth, eager to please. The new position eased the overstimulation, and you whimpered brokenly. “Y-yeah.”
He groaned, cock fucking up into you with more fervour. “Look at you,” he tittered sarcastically. “Falling apart on my cock while your husband’s at home.”
You whimpered pitifully, tits bouncing.
“Wonder what he’d say if he could see his pretty wife like this,” he teased. “So messy.”
A sharp slap filled the air as he spanked your ass, kneading the flesh and pulling it apart to make more room for himself. “Shit.”
He was close. You could feel it, from his broken rhythm and deeper growls, vibrations alighting your overworked nerves. “Want it inside,” you whispered, panting as he drove into you. “Want you to cum inside me.”
His hips stuttered, and the tiniest whimper met your ears. “Yeah?”
“Y-yeah—!” You moaned, head feeling fuzzy. “Please, fill me up, Toji.”
His arms reached around your body, one hand tweaking a sore nipple while the other sought out your clit. He wound you up tightly, whispering filth into your ears as a stranger, deeper wave crashed over you.
“W-wait fuck, I—!”
Your final orgasm crashed over you, coming from a place so deep you sobbed. Liquid, more clear and thinner seeped from between your legs, soaking the sheets and dripping all over Toji as his peak finally hit him. He shattered then, burying his dick deep inside you as he came undone. Warmth flooded your pussy as his balls released pulse after pulse of his cum. Just like before, there was so much of it. It splashed against your walls, squelching obscenely as he fucked up into you. You could feel dribbles of it against your ass, and the rest of it coated his cock in a thin sheen on white, sticking to the sheets.
The two of you were filthy - the sheets stuck to your bodies; worsening the sensory overload. Your skin was sticky and clammy, but you were so exhausted you could scarcely move. Lingering licks of pleasure licked down your spine, racing against a couple beads of sweat. Toji slowly released his hold around you, softening cock slipping out as he moved you away from the wet spot.
The loss of fullness triggered an aftershock, and you winced at the feeling of his cum dripping down your thighs – more intensely now that nothing held it in. Sweat evaporated off your skin and you shivered at a draft, nestling closer to Toji’s chest.
He stiffened at first, unsure of what to make of your more intimate proximity.
“Relax,” you croaked tiredly. “I’m getting cold.”
A beat passed and he relaxed, gently pulling you closer.
“You’re sticky,” you grumbled.
“You don’t feel great yourself,” his voice rumbled. “And you finished all my hot water.”
You used sharp nails to pinch at his chest, irritated by his lack of reaction. “Coming from the person who trapped me in there.”
“Yeah,” he murmured into your hair, one free hand tangling into loose tresses. “Because you were so desperate to leave.”
One of your hands snaked down to pinch at his balls, but Toji’s fingers intercepted and closed firmly around your wrist. “Try it.”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly at his expense, closing your eyes as the room fell into silence. Moonlight trickled in from the window, casting a silvery hue over the room. The dregs of light night traffic echoed outside, distant car horns and wheels against tarmac reaching your ears. Your body ached from overexertion, as you lay there curled up into Toji’s chest. So much so that you wondered if the throbbing between your legs alone might have been enough to ward off sleep, but the rise and fall of Toji’s chest slowed your thoughts and heart rate to a gentle pulse; pulling back slumber’s embrace. In fact, you almost succumbed to it – if not for another sharp shiver down your back.
“Maybe we should move.”
The two of you spent the night on the sofa bed, after the state of the sheets.
You were barely able to walk, and Toji was far too lazy and tired himself to deal with the aftermath, so the relocation made the most sense. Despite the fact that physically, the two of you had been as close as two people could get, there was a certain intimacy with sleeping side by side. Especially given the nature of your relationship. It kept you up for another half hour, long after he’d fallen asleep, until your exhaustion finally lulled you into a slumber.
You woke up only a handful of hours later, eyes fluttering open to see Toji in arguably, his most peaceful state. His lips were open a crack, brow crease free and his long, thick lashes cast shadows on his cheekbones. You lay next to him, face to face, anxious at the flicker of warmth in your chest. It held a harrowing resemblance to the warmth you felt at finding that note in your bed, and at the brief moment he looked pissed at hearing of your confinement.
I can’t give you what you want.
Toji Fushiguro could not be the man that small part of you hoped he would be.
And so, you brushed your feelings aside and ducked your head under the blanket. Your mouth woke him up soon enough, and not so long you sat astride him, breathing heavily as he bounced you on his cock.
Your appetite grew as your heart did, and the two of you were practically locked at the hip over the next few days. In between his disappearances for work you’d find each other, scarcely able to hold yourselves back as you consumed, over and over again. And after that first night, you didn’t sleep by yourself again once. Even on those days Toji came back late, you wandered tiredly over to the sofa bed, pulling the covers over you in search of his proximity. He grumbled and complained initially, but after a couple occurrences you’d wake up to his arm slung around your waist. Oddly enough, you never slept in his actual bed. Maybe it felt dangerous, a crude allegory for whatever your relationship was growing to be. The sofa bed wasn’t permanent; neatly folded away after each night, akin to the sensations of his lips brushing your neck and length stirring against your back.
You knew it was dangerous, the game you were playing. But neither of you spoke of it. You joined him in the mornings for his workouts, laughing contentedly as he did his curls with you dangling from his arms. He tried to help you cook sometimes, barking back at you when you snapped at him for burning the dish. Even as you started a job search, nothing major, just a temporary part time role – he sat down with you, frown etched into his face from your surprisingly outstanding resume. You slapped him for a couple snide comments he made about the fact, actually.
A couple months had passed since then, and you’d just recently returned from a shift at the bookstore. A bowl of pasta warmed your hands as you sat cross-legged in front of the TV, engrossed in your new Netflix show.
Nothing prepared you for the way the front door slammed shut.
“Toji?”
He walked out slowly from the hall, expression drawn with the churning of his thoughts. A hand rested on his hip, and he rubbed his brow slowly. “He’s dead.”
If the bowl of food was still in your hands, you’d have dropped it. Your blood ran cold. “W-What?”
Toji exhaled, regarding you with a stare hardened by years of grisly work. “He’s dead. Car crash.”
You didn’t cry. Didn’t scream or drop, or do anything, really. You just sat there, quiet as a heaviness fell on your shoulders.
“Who was driving?” You asked softly, the image of a certain dark haired man flashing in your mind.
Toji grimaced, shaking his head. “Not sure.”
The silence was almost painful as you sat there, not trusting your legs to support you if you stood.
“They’re figuring out what to do,” Toji added, walking over to you slowly. “You’ve been asked back to the house.”
You looked up at that, sickened at the thought of having to face all of that. “They’re gonna lock me away,” you laughed mirthlessly. “Find me a ‘new husband’.”
You locked eyes with Toji. “I’m not going back.”
He crouched in front of you, that rare tenderness you were more recently accustomed to coming to the forefront. “What d’you wanna do?”
A pause, a swallow. And you clenched your fists, looking at him firmly. “I’m staying here.”
Your heart pounded. “With you.”
tags: @whatdoyouwant42741 @divineblunts @belovedria @anothergojostan @xxbookloversworldxx @fancypeacepersona @athalia-amor
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