can I break your rule and send a ship prompt instead? I want some kerixie. ao3 tags: AU-Non-magical, AU-college, kissing.
@mooncello I'm so glad you broke my rules because I loved writing this. Is it cheesy? yes. It is what Kerixie deserves.
Full of Possibilities: A Microfic
I've always been a go with the flow person, and up until now as I'm entering uni, that flow has mostly been decided by other people. It got me a bit of a reptuation for being a ditz in high school, even though I don't think I am really.
But now that I'm heading into uni, I've vowed that I'm going to find my own path instead of just letting other people dictate where I'm heading. I pick new outfits, I set all my own classes, I get a job. I want to take this as a chance to figure out who I am when I'm out in the world on my own, and I want to let myself try out so many different options before I force myself to decide on what future is going to rope me into adulthood for the rest of my days.
I'm going to let all of my bisexual dreams come true, too. I dated boys in high school. I'm pretty sure my parents aren't homophobic, but I'm not 100% and again, it just seemed easier that way. It's what people expect and it's not like anyone in high school felt worth swimming against the current for. And I don't mind boys. Kissing them is fine. They're not a lot of work, either, which I'm coming to realize has been kind of my whole thing so far. I liked playing with their hair, and convincing them to let me put them in makeup...(in retrospect, I might have been settling more than I was willing to admit to myself at that time in my life).
This is a time to experiment! Play the field. Date around. Kiss anyone I want. And I want to kiss a lot of people, because at the end of the day, the thing is I like people.
I want to settle down someday, I think, but I'm thrilled that I have so much time ahead of me before I have to even think about that. So many experiences ahead of me, and I've never been so ready. I'm not just taking the easy way anymore--I'm up for a challenge. I'm up for figuring out what I want, and fighting for it.
It is absolutely the story of my life that I breeze into my very first college experience, our orientation session before classes have even started, and fall completely, utterly, irrevocably, irretrievably, head-over-heels in love with the very first person I lay eyes on. It feels like something out of a fairy tale, but whether it's a blessing or a curse, I can't tell yet.
I'm so shocked that when we lock eyes as I enter the room, I drop everything in my arms and she has to run over to help me pick things up. I'm fire engine red and I scurry to the back corner, as far away from her as I can possibly get, and I try to avoid looking at her, talking to her, or making eye contact with her for the next three weeks. (Because of course she's in two of my classes, too.)
It's just that, I had a plan. I knew that I was going to figure things out. I was going to figure me out. I was going to kiss people! I can't be in love already. I'm 18 and I've literally been out of my parents' house for less than a month. And I don't actually know her.
I know she's beautiful. I know she does all the reading. I know she always has the best comments in class but she doesn't talk over people, and when she adds onto something you say in class it makes you feel the luckiest person in the world, and she smells...so, so good.
This isn't love, it can't be love, this is supposed to be my sexy finding-yourself montage! If I wait it out, it'll pass.
I go to my classes (and avoid Keris). I learn I like psychology; I don't like chemistry. I go to a party; I kiss a boy. (I actually can't believe I did that for years; I learn I don't want to do that again, at least not for the foreseeable future.) I go to a show; I kiss a girl. It's fine, but it's...well, it's fine.
We're assigned groups in class and Keris and I sign up for the same topic. I learn that she smells like strawberries because she always has strawberry sour straws in her backpack, that she has a wicked sweet tooth, that she has four little siblings and secretly loves One Direction and misses her grandfather more than anyone else back home.
I learn that she's smart but she never makes me feel stupid, even when I don't understand the reading. That she never seems to get tired of talking to me about it, or about anything else. That in the cafeteria, she always eats dessert first.
I thought that if I wanted to figure out who I was, I needed to do everything on my own, that I needed to try everything out on my own before I could allow my future to become constrained to whatever acceptable path I chose after graduation. I thought that true freedom was going to mean getting to kiss everyone, do everything, have every experience.
But now I think true freedom might be letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves (I like my poetry class, too). Not pretending like I have to try out everything I see, when I know exactly what I want.
I learned that Keris has the softest lips I've ever kissed, and the only mouth I ever want to kiss again. I am kissing everyone I want to, and my future feels full of possibilities.
