‘If you get grossed out by pubic hair and talking about periods, you don’t deserve pussy’ kinda characters
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‘If you get grossed out by pubic hair and talking about periods, you don’t deserve pussy’ kinda characters
Star trek TOS x reader (Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty)
POV: You almost died on an away mission
Warning: reader is severely hurt (little to none of actual description); angst;
James Kirk
The man almost went grey trying to perform his duty and keep a straight face while worrying up a storm about your troop which, after being beamed down on the surface of a freshly discovered planet, suddenly lost contact with the ship and wouldn’t respond again.
The Other Half (James T. Kirk)
Description: The reader has sex with the evil Kirk that transported on the enterprise during S1 E5: “The Enemy Within”
Warning: Fingering, clit rubbing, blow job, implied sex, cheating (sorta but it’s explained)
Word Count:1,845
Don't do anything stupid (1)
Bones thinks you and Captain Kirk are very similar, and it takes an away mission to prove him right.
Captain Kirk x reader
Fluff and Adventure (Completed Series) Warning: minor blood, needles, minor injuries. mild violence This is a rewrite of a fic called "Another You" I did. Fixed it up a bit. Read Part 2 here <3
Dr. McCoy was at it again, trying to coerce you into visiting the Med Bay. This time, he seemed to think that threatening to involve the Captain would somehow sway your decision.
“I’m telling you right now, Y/N, you can’t go on your away mission without getting your immunizations for this planet,” McCoy said, leaning against the counter like he had no intention of leaving. “Ever heard of the Quazulu VIII Virus? No? That’s because there’s a vaccine for it!”
“Dr. McCoy, it’s just a quick trip to the planet to grab a few specimens. I won’t be staying for the diplomatic engagements like the rest of the team,” you explained, continuing to pack your equipment in the research ward.
Your preparations were nearly complete when the ship’s chief medical officer decided to ambush you. The task was straightforward: collect samples of water and nearby vegetation. This planet had only recently become accessible, and much of its biological features remained a mystery.
McCoy gave you a pointed look, his expression clearly unimpressed. “As a scientist, I’d think you’d be the first to appreciate the importance of vaccines,” he grumbled.
“On the contrary, Doctor,” you retorted with a smirk, carefully placing empty sterile test tubes into your case. “I firmly believe medicines like vaccines are life-saving. But as a scientist, I’m also keenly aware of just how dirty hospitals and Med Bays can be.”
His face contorted in a mix of offense and exasperation, as he threw his hands in the air.
“You do realize you’re going on an away mission to a planet that is far from sterile—to literally play in the dirt,” he mocked, crossing his arms as he tilted his head in mock dismissal. “And when you get injured, will you refuse medical care, too?”
You recognized the "gotcha" moment he was relishing—and he wasn’t entirely wrong. The truth was, you just hated needles. They grossed you out.
“I’ll be careful,” you stated confidently, adding a playful wink, which earned an unimpressed scoff from the young doctor.
“Fine, you don’t like my Med Bay, but what if I gave you the shots here?” he countered, tilting his head slightly.
You hesitated, but admittedly, it wasn’t a bad compromise. The Med Bay gave you more of a sinking feeling than the needles themselves ever did. You’d always noticed that too many people who went in didn’t come out—or if they did, they weren’t the same. That persistent sense of dread lingered every time you stepped through its doors.
“If this place is too dirty for you, then you’ve only got yourself to blame,” McCoy added dryly, motioning around the room. “You are, after all, the head lab runner.”
You pretended to mull it over, feigning indecision for a moment before muttering your reluctant agreement. “Fine. Go get them, then.” It was standard policy to receive the immunizations, and deep down, you knew they’d be a lifesaver if something went wrong on the mission.
“Great!” he exclaimed, grabbing a red bag you hadn’t even noticed he’d brought in. Your jaw dropped as he began pulling out the vaccines.
“You knew I’d agree?” you asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously as you reluctantly took a seat on the stool in front of him.
You had spent countless hours working alongside Dr. McCoy in the labs, and you liked to think you knew him well. What you hadn’t anticipated was just how well he seemed to know you—including your aversion to the Med Bay.
“I deal with you the same way I deal with him,” McCoy said as he prepared one of the doses. He paused, smirking as if a thought had just struck him. “You two are a lot alike.”
“Who?” you asked, curious about who you were being compared to, as you rolled up your sleeve.
Before McCoy could answer, the doors to your lab chimed, signalling someone’s arrival. You kept your eyes tightly shut, bracing yourself. McCoy had your skin pinched at the top of your arm, and you knew the needle was coming.
“Bones? We’re supposed to be having breakfast,” a familiar voice said. You jumped—and not because of the needle. “Chapel said you were here waiting for me…”
Your eyes snapped open. “You were actually going to tell the Captain on me?” you muttered through gritted teeth, glaring at McCoy. A small chuckle sounded from across the room, drawing your attention. Your gaze locked with his piercing blue eyes, and your heart skipped a beat.
“Y/N,” Kirk said, walking over and leaning casually on the counter in front of you. “Causing trouble?” His tone was light, laced with amusement.
“Captain,” you mumbled, feeling your face heat up as you turned back to McCoy, who looked far too pleased with himself.
“Jim,” McCoy interjected, preparing the second dose with a practiced ease. “Why don’t you explain to our young scientist here the importance of getting inoculated before an away mission?” He glanced at you with a smirk. “After all, you have the most experience finding out the hard way.”
Ignoring the second half of McCoy’s comment—one you were far more interested in hearing about—you turned your attention to the Captain who asked, “Y/N, will you be coming tonight?” His voice was so alluring, that it sent a slight tremor through you.
Clearing your throat, you offered a simple response. “Yes, Sir.” It was all you could manage, as it often was when you found yourself in conversation with him. He was so handsome, so kind, and so funny—it was incredibly intimidating.
“And Bones is giving you trouble,” he said with a soft chuckle, breaking your gaze as he began to casually scan the lab. He had a habit of doing that whenever he came in to talk to McCoy—picking around at things like a child unable to sit still.
You watched him smile to himself as he pulled open your backpack for the mission, his easygoing nature only adding to the warmth in your chest. Then, something about how he had called McCoy ‘Bones’ dawned on you. “Bones?”
“Don’t start calling me that too,” McCoy grumbled, clearly unamused.
“Ouch!” you jerked at the unexpected jab, your focus finally breaking from the Captain. You began rubbing your arm, still sensitive from the injection. “You didn’t warn me,” you muttered, your voice tinged with mild frustration.
“You’ll survive,” McCoy said dismissively, preparing the last dose. After a moment, he added, “Captain, you were about to explain the merits of getting all your inoculations.”
It was odd to hear Dr. McCoy refer to the blonde man by his official title, and it seemed to dawn on him as well. “Right,” Kirk muttered, dropping everything he was tinkering with and walking back over to you. “As your captain, I’d inform you that it is mandatory, and refusal can compromise the health and overall well-being of the crew…” He finished with a thumbs-up directed at the doctor.
To be honest, you weren’t really listening. His voice was far too distracting for lectures. So, it wasn’t until you heard the clatter of the final needle hitting the counter that you realized McCoy had finished with you. “All done,” he announced.
As you began pulling your sleeve down, the Captain cleared his throat. “If that’s everything, then—”
“Oh, Jim,” Dr. McCoy interrupted, launching out of his chair and grabbing the Captain’s arm before he could say another word. “Leaders lead by example… Can’t be a hypocrite now.”
You noticed the three other needles lined up on the counter. This had been McCoy’s plan all along. Despite feeling a bit of satisfaction that you weren’t the only one afraid of needles, you couldn’t resist teasing, “For the well-being of the crew and all.”
“Right,” the Captain replied with a dejected sigh, taking the spot McCoy had just vacated. His warmth brushed against you as his shoulder lightly nudged yours. “Just make it fast,” he muttered, lifting his shirt just enough to free his arm. Your eyes darted anywhere but at him.
“You two are very similar,” McCoy remarked, earning a scoff from you.
Feeling the eyes of both men on you, your cheeks flushed with heat. You hadn’t meant anything negative by your comment; you simply couldn’t imagine having much in common. He was important and useful, and you… well, you played in the dirt.
The silence stretched on, and feeling embarrassed, you muttered, “We do have a pretty good style.” You were thinking of the mandatory uniforms you all wore. While yours perfectly matched McCoy’s, the Captain’s gold uniform complemented him far too well.
The Captain softly chuckled, about to add something before a jab of the needle interrupted him. He let out a hiss of pain.
“Dammit, Jim, stay still,” McCoy muttered before adding, “You’re just proving my point.”
“What? That we’re both good at making fun of you? Have a good sense of humour?” You laughed, debating whether now was a good time to ask about the Bones nickname.
“You like my sense of humour?” the Captain asked, looking down at you. You were flustered over what you had just admitted, but thankfully, McCoy spoke up.
“You both like causing me stress and making my job harder than it already is.” The doctor complained though the small smirk on his face betrayed his irritation.
“That’s hurtful, Bones,” you said sweetly, finally using the nickname Jim always called him.
“Dammit, Jim,” McCoy muttered under his breath as the final needle clattered to the table. “Just promise me you both won’t do anything stupid tonight.”
----
How the TOS crew reacts to being stuck in the turbo lift with you
requested by anon: “how would the tos crew react to getting stuck in the turbolift with reader?”
Not a Word masterlist
Pairings: Bones x Reader, eventual Kirk x Reader, eventual Bones x Kirk Warnings: Smut, angst
You Know the Drill Date Night Dessert Nice Surprise Jim's Butt Molly Pampered Welcome Home Bad Day? He's Scared Be Careful Good Idea Love You I Had No Idea Perfect Mommy is So Sweet Night, Bones Purple Jacket Never Change Can I Help You? Why Wouldn't I? We Can Do That Captain Kirk Party!
Sleepy Snuggles TOS Kirk, Spock, McCoy HCs:
A/N: It was almost time for bed when I sat down to write this.
A/N+: I was so happy to find that this one had survived!
Prompt: It's been a long day, you and the rest of the away team have just returned from a mission.
A - Z Alphabet (Smut) - Kirk Hammet
A = Aftercare
Kirk's a very loving guy, very caring and very sweet. Sometimes he's too intense during sex and takes his time caring for you after. Always makes sure to bring you water, may run a bath if you're too sore and makes sure you feel your best after sex. He's just a sweet guy, worried about your wellbeing.
B = Body part
Likes his arms and hands a lot, takes a lot of pride in them and all he can do with his strong hands (sexually and non-sexually). He has great control of his hands, very agile.
As for his favorite part of your body, it would be your waist. He’d love to grip your waist tight and guide you during sex, he's super into controlling you and also seeing your waist. When you're on all four he absolutely loves watching how your body curves so good while he fucks you from the back.
C = Cum
LOVES cumming everywhere. The mess is what makes him excited and he's working hard to make you messier every time. He loves cumming on your face tho, the sight of your tears and his cum is intensely hot to him.
D = Dirty Secret
Big anal guy. Not necessarily fucking your ass but loves watching it twitch while fucking you. Want to drive him wild? Do it while he's fucking you from the back, makes him cum almost instantly.
E = Experience
Fairly experienced but not used to long term relationships so he had to learn more about you to make it work, his experience is mosty with groupies.
F = Favorite Position
He’s a little specific. Likes when you’re sprawled out and tied with your legs open, he likes seeing everything. Sometimes keeps you in position and jerks off to the sight while you squirm and whine for him to take you.
G = Goofy (Demeanor)
Not at all during sex, keeps a straight face and a serious demeanor.
H = Hair
Very well trimmed but feels weird about being bare.
I = Intimacy
Very intimate but posessive. Likes keeping you close to him and holding you while also slapping your face, ass, breasts… Loves kissing during sex, the messier the better.
J = Jack Off
Only when he’s tired, likes doing it before going to sleep and is kind of lazy about it. Most times likes taking it slow and cums very hard because of the edge.
K = Kink
He's into some crazy stuff but his biggest kink is bondage. Loves tying you up with pretty fabrics and learned very intricate tying methods almost a shibari of some sort. Loves seeing you squirm trying to get out of the restraints while he tortures and edges you for a long time.
L = Location
Doesn't really enjoy public sex a lot, likes to take his time and keep things intense. Has been interrupted before and it's a turn off for him.
M = Motivation
He's not super horny all the time but you don't have to do a lot to arouse him. Gets more needy when you haven't been together for a while but usually very controlled.
N = NO
Anything about body fluids.
O = Oral
He's really good at giving head, very patient and meticulous with it. Want to see you get needier every second and knows all your sweet spots. Also loves fingering at the same time.
Enjoys a good blowjob and loves thrusting into your throat to make you choke on him. Likes very messy head with lots of tears and spit, your dirty face always gets him going. Likes it when you swallow.
P = Pace
Starts slow so you feel all of him but speeds up and gets very intense. He loves ramming into you hard, not necessarily fast but deep and strong. Not a fan of slow sex at all.
Q = Quickie
Doesn't really like quickies cause he knows you'll be busy for a while so there's no reason to even try.
R = Risk
Not a fan, makes him anxious.
S = Stamina
Ready to go at any time and lasts a long time. Prefers a long and intense session rather than many small ones. Has a lot of energy and knows how to use it.
T = Toy
LOVES TOYS! He doesn't feel emasculated by them, actually loves using them on himself too. Loves giving (and receiving) even more pleasure with vibrators, plugs and all sorts of toys.
U = Unfair
He's absolutely unsufferable. Loves edging you and can hold his composure well so it seems like he's so calm. His favorite is edging you with a vibrator on the lowest, most annoying setting and when you're almost cumming he'd turn it off and wait till you calm down so he can do it all over again.
V = Volume
He's a moaner for sure. Is not afraid to make sounds and expects you to do the same. He gets very whiny when cumming and it's the most delicious sound.
W = Wild Card (Random Headcannon)
Loves sucking and nibbling on your nipples. He's obsessed with your chest and always has his mouth on you, the softness makes him crazy. Likes when you're riding him and he can suck on your tits while fucking you, makes his head dizzy with pleasure. Even when you're not having sex he's licking, sucking and loving on your breasts.
X = X-Ray
He's not the biggest, maybe a little under average but knows how to use it well. He's thick tho, the stretch's always challenging at first and you have to be well lubricated to take him.
Y = Yearning
Average, but can't handle a little cleavage or short garments. Loves being able to get sneak peaks of your
Z = ZZZ
He's a talker. Loves talking about random things while recovering from the session and likes doing something after, usually watching tv or something. Rarely ever sleeps right away.