Only In Dreams (2/?) (Data x gn reader)
Summary: Data tries to figure out how to feel again. Meanwhile, Guinan helps you figure out how you feel about him.
Warnings/notes: Nothing crazy in this chapter lads have at it and remember its a SLOW burn but it WILL burn
Previous chapters/other data fics r in my masterlist :)
By the time your shift ended, you were more than ready for a drink. So when Data asked you to meet him in Ten Forward, you eagerly accepted.
You and Data had been friends for essentially your entire adult lives. You’d met at the academy as fresh young cadets, bonded over your shared love of poetry and fine arts, and you were off to the races. Things were harder for Data back then- young people are cruel, and cadets especially can be viciously competitive. He was awkward, uncouth at times, and undeniably on track for an outstanding career. A lot of people were mean, perhaps out of jealousy, or maybe just because they could be. He needed someone on his team, and you were that someone.
For a period of time, you went everywhere together. If you were invited to something, you made sure Data could come too, and helped him understand the social dynamics and learn what to expect from different situations. By the time graduation rolled around, parting with Data was one of the most difficult things about leaving the academy behind. He was a reliable friend, loyal, painfully genuine, and shockingly sensitive, in his own way.
As the years went by, you’d often reflected that if there was such a thing as soulmates, Data might have been yours, if the world were only a little different, if only his programming allowed it. As it was, you’d gone off on your own separate assignments, on different ships in different parts of the galaxy, and pursued your careers, both quite successfully. While Data had moved up the chain of command, you’d risen to prominence in the exo-geology community, particularly for your work on type Y plate tectonics as a self-reproducing energy source.
When you were assigned to the Enterprise a few years ago, you were happy to pick up your friendship with the android where it left off, and he had shown the same eagerness. Data invited you to the bridge officers’ poker nights, and you invited him to the geology department’s chess tournament. You read and wrote together, just like old times, and you often found yourself loitering around, waiting for his shift to end so you could hang out.
On this particular evening, you were all too happy to meet him in Ten Forward, and by the time you slid into the seat across from him, you were ready to launch into a tirade about the difficulties of collecting samples and scans from the turbulent planet below. When you saw him, though, you noticed he looked different, almost anticipatory.
Reading Data’s expressions was an art, and often, you had no idea what he was thinking. But today, he appeared to be deep in thought, unmistakably preoccupied.
“Y/N, I am glad you are here. I have had a most… unusual… day. Counselor Troi said that it might be beneficial to discuss it with a close friend such as yourself.”
“Do tell,” you said, raising an eyebrow mischievously.
“I had a strange dream this morning. I felt.”
“You felt?” you asked, wanting to make sure you understood.
“Yes. I experienced several emotions in the dream.”
“Data!” you exclaim, reaching across the table to squeeze his wrist. “This is huge!” You pulled back and gathered yourself for a moment, understanding that this must be a complicated moment for your friend, not wanting to project your own feelings onto him. “So, tell me about it. Was it a positive experience?”
“Yes, I believe it was. It has left me feeling extremely curious. I wish to replicate the experience. I desire it very strongly,” he said quietly, clearly experiencing the gravity of the situation.
“Is there a way? What caused it?”
He shook his head, his face grim.
“I do not know. I have been through several rigorous examinations in engineering, as well as repeated self-diagnostics, and no change in my programming or anomaly in my memory logs was detectable.”
“Oh,” you sigh. “That’s odd. Do you have any hunches?”
“I do have one, but it is based only partially upon empirical evidence,” he says, pausing to collect his thoughts. “I have come to the conclusion that I have long experienced a small capacity for feeling, although my normal emotions, if one can call them that, are quite… muted… relative to that of a normal human’s. However, based on this experience, I can conclusively say that I experience a minor approximation of feeling on a regular basis. I can now see that these ‘emotions’ contribute to my decision making, my preferences, and my desires. These pseudo-emotions are not visible in my programming, however, I can be sure that they exist.”
“You know my opinion on that- you’re absolutely right. Of course you have a version of emotionality. But how does that have bearing on what happened in the dream?”
“Since my pre-existing emotional abilities appear to have arisen naturally, and seem to be scientifically undetectable, I believe it is right to assume that the stronger, true emotions which I experienced while dreaming are the same way. Metacognition about my emotional states will surely show up in memory logs, but it would seem that the emotions themselves will not be reflected in any measurable way. It would seem that I truly am more than the sum of my code.”
“So you have to find a non-scientific way to induce them? You’ve tried that before, right?”
“Yes, and I was not successful. However, I have never tried to induce them specifically while dreaming.”
“So you need something, some way to suggest to yourself a feeling, a strong emotion, while dreaming?”
“Precisely.”
“You could try putting on some music while you sleep. Or maybe inducing sleep right after a powerful experience, like an argument or… or…” you faltered, trying to imagine what experiences would be most emotional for your friend. Although you’ve known him for years, you’ve never seen him get excited or angry or panicked or anything like that. However, you have definitely seen him confused. You’ve seen him concerned. You’ve seen him calm. “The trouble is, should it be a strong emotion, or a familiar one, one that builds on what you already have?”
“That is a good question.”
“The way I see it is, you’ve tried the strong emotions last time you did this experiment. Anger. Joy. Arousal. It didn’t work. Maybe that’s because those neural pathways are less developed. Maybe you need to start with something your brain already has a foundation for. For example, I’ve seen you get puzzled when you don’t understand something. Maybe you could start there. Sure, it’s not the most exciting thing, but it could be a start, right?”
“That is an interesting suggestion, Y/N. I will attempt to suggest a more familiar pseudo-emotion to myself before inducing dreaming tonight.” Data stood up then, clearly motivated to begin his investigation straightaway. “Would you like to join me?”
“As much as I’d love to stand there like a creep while you sleep, I’ve got work in the morning. But be sure to let me know how it goes. Drop by the lab in the morning.”
He turned to leave then, and you watched him, shaking your head ever so slightly.
“Good luck, my friend,” you said softly, almost to yourself.
It was then that you became aware of someone standing behind you. Turning, you saw that Guinan had sidled up, with her characteristic light step and knowing smile.
“You certainly seemed excited,” she said, pulling up a chair.
“Of course I am, Data’s always wanted this! He just wouldn't let himself have it, after the whole situation with Lore and the borg. So the fact that it’s just…happening. Maybe it’s good karma.”
“So you’re excited for Data?” she asked. Her bright, kind eyes were fixed on you and you felt the heat rise in your cheeks.
“Well, yes.”
“Just Data?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.
“Uh… yeah?”
“I see,” she said, staring away. There was silence for several moments. It was then you realized you were not a mere innocent conversational partner, but the victim of a classic Guinan interrogation. You thought about it. You were happy for Data- that was completely true. But you were also happy for yourself. You hadn’t thought about it that way, but it was true.
“Well, I’m just happy. If Data has feelings, it’ll be a good thing for everyone, in a way. It would be a gift to know a more full version of him. He’s a very dear friend to me.”
“A dear friend. Is that how you see him?”
“What are you getting at?”
“Nothing at all,” she said casually, smirking. “In fact, there’s something I want to ask you about. I was thinking, if Data does start getting all emotional, it would be nice to set him up with someone. Do you think he’d be interested in that Betazed medical officer?”
Your mouth opened a little, in an involuntary expression of indignance.
“No, no, you’re right,” she continued. “He’s too young for Data. How about… her?” she said, scanning the bar and nodding to a tall, dark-skinned security officer with long, becoming braids. “She’s gorgeous. And she’s quite the conversationalist.”
You grimaced then, imagining Data going out with the beautiful woman. There was an unmistakable twinge of jealousy. Ah. That was what Guinan wanted.
“Alright, alright, I get the idea. You’re trying to get me to admit that I have feelings for Data.”
Guinan smiled, and you knew she’d won. She’d forced you to say what you hadn’t even fully realized yourself.
“Was I?” she asked, feigning surprise. “I was just making suggestions. A sensitive bachelor like Data would be a great partner for someone,” she said with mock-innocence, patting you on the knee as she stood and headed back to the bar. “Oh, he ordered you this before you got here. Sorry it took me so long.”
She handed you a glass of Vulcan wine. Your favorite. Data always ordered for you when he got there first. The look on Guinan’s face told you that she hadn’t forgotten to bring the drink out- she’d been watching and waiting, saving her devilish attack for after Data left. The import of the drink wasn’t lost on you. Data knew you. He knew what you liked. He looked out for you. He thought about your wellbeing, in big and small ways.
And yes, you’d often thought if things had been different, perhaps there would have been something between you. But things were what they were, and Data would never have feelings for anyone, so you forbade yourself from letting any feelings grow unchecked in you. You didn’t allow yourself to hope that things would change.
At least, until today. You swirled the wine around in the glass, the intoxicating aroma drifting up to your nose. You tasted it. It was sweet.
