Everybody knew they liked each other. . .except for themselves.
Kim Nakyoung and Lee (YN) had been best friends for as long as anyone could remember. They grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools from elementary through high school, and, by some twist of fate, always ended up in the same class.
They were two peas in a pod. Cut from the same cloth. Whatever idiom you chose, it applied. They just fit.
Through the years of having each other's backs and keeping things strictly platonic, there were moments, brief, quiet, almost forgettable, where something shifted. A glance held too long. A hug that lingered. A heartbeat skipped.
Eventually, feelings grew. For both of them.
But neither dared say it out loud. The fear of ruining everything, their years of friendship, their rhythm, their comfort, was enough to keep it buried.
So instead, they stayed in denial. Playing house in their own strange way. Sweet gestures brushed off as "friendly." Intimate moments disguised as "just how we are."
Because pretending was safer than admitting the truth.
Even if everyone else could already see it and it was so painfully obvious when they wore matching bracelets and to their closer friends when they remember the time they accidentally kissed.
They were sure to themselves about their feelings, the only thing left was for someone to suddenly burst everything out.
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"Okay, we're not buying anything,"
Nakyoung declared as they stepped through the automatic doors of AEKI. "We're just looking."
(YN) rolled his eyes. "That's what you said last time before we left with three scented candles, a potted plant, and a bath mat you didn't even need."
"I needed it for vibes," she said, lifting her chin in mock dignity. "Also, I named the plant."
"It's fake."
"He still deserves a name."
He laughed despite himself, pushing a cart even though they'd sworn not to buy anything. That was the thing with Nakyoung—one minute she was rational, the next she was naming fake plants and insisting on pretending she lived inside a staged showroom.
And he always went along with it.
They wandered through the maze of perfectly designed rooms. She ran her fingers along kitchen counters like she was house-hunting. He pointed out absurd decor items. She grabbed his arm when they passed a particularly ugly light fixture, whispering, "That looks like something that would kill me in a haunted house."
It was easy. Natural. Like always.
But somewhere between the fake kitchens and show bathrooms, they found their room.
Room #37: Modern City Living. Soft neutrals. Cozy lighting. Couch that looked too expensive to spill instant ramen on.
Nakyoung flopped onto the couch and sighed dramatically. "Ugh. This is it. This is the couch. This is where I would come home after work and collapse dramatically while you make me dinner."
(YN) raised an eyebrow, lowering himself beside her. "You think I'd be the one cooking?"
"You always say your kimchi fried rice is better than mine."
"Because it is."
"Exactly. You cook. I nap. This is domestic bliss."
He laughed, adjusting the throw pillow behind his back. "Right. And what's my reward for slaving away in our imaginary kitchen?"
She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Unwavering love and support. Occasional back rubs. Also, I'd probably do our laundry."
"That's a strong deal."
They were joking, but it didn't feel like a joke. Not really. Not anymore.
She leaned her head against his shoulder, the kind of touch that used to mean nothing—just comfort between best friends. But lately, he could feel every point of contact like a live wire. Her hair smelled like that sweet shampoo she always used. Her hand brushed his as it rested between them, barely touching.
He didn't move away.
She said, a little softer this time, "You ever think about stuff like this? You know... living with someone?"
"Sure," he replied. "I mean, it's hard not to when AEKI sets it all up for you. Perfect lighting. Comfy couch. Even stock photos of people we don't know."
"Yeah," she murmured. "But I mean really. Like—not the fantasy. The real thing. Sharing space. Learning each other's weird habits. Figuring out how to fight without breaking anything."
(YN) turned his head slightly to look at her. "Is this your way of telling me I leave crumbs everywhere?"
She grinned without looking at him. "No. That's just common knowledge."
He nudged her. "Okay, rude."
She shifted, tucking her knees up on the couch. Still pressed close. Still comfortable.
Still pretending.
"I think I'd want it to feel like this," she said finally. "Whatever it ends up looking like. I'd want it to feel easy. Like we already get each other. Like... home."
(YN)'s throat tightened. He could say it now. He could tell her that he thought about this kind of life all the time, especially when she was around. That when she said home, he could only picture her.
But instead, he said, "Yeah. Same."
And maybe she felt the same twisting in her chest, because she pulled away then, just a little, and clapped her hands like she was breaking a spell.
"Alright! Let's find that lamp I came here for."
"Wait, you actually do need a lamp?"
"Obviously. My room looks like a vampire cave."
He followed her out of their fake living room, heart pounding.
They left the display behind. But something lingered in the air, unspoken.
Maybe one day, they'd stop pretending.
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Kim Nakyoung sat across from him at a table of a nearby ice cream shop. She was in bliss while she scooped up bits and pieces from her sundae. (YN) did the same but he would have the same bliss if there wasn't a large lamp pushing against his side on a seat that needed more space for two people to find comfort in.
He could place it down, but didn't. Not after she said, "It'll just get dust and whatnot if you put it on the floor. And people might trip. It's dangerous. You'd be responsible."
So now he was crammed beside an aggressive mid-century floor lamp like it was their third wheel.
"So where do you wanna head off to next? How about a trip to the park? Ooh! Maybe the arcade." Nakyoung giggled as she stabbed a cherry with her spoon.
"You're seriously planning a whole date right now."
She blinked. "What?"
(YN) smirked. "Nothing. Just saying. AEKI, sundaes, now a walk in the park and maybe games? That's a pretty solid date lineup."
Nakyoung tilted her head, spoon still halfway to her mouth. "It's not a date if it's with you."
"Ouch." He pretended to clutch his chest.
She laughed and offered him her cherry, an unspoken truce. She hated cherries while he more or less didn't. He took it without question, just like he always did.
"You know what I mean," She said more softly. "We always do this."
"Do what?"
"This," she motioned vaguely between them, "the not-a-date-but-totally-a-date thing."
(YN) froze, spoon halfway to his mouth this time.
"I mean," she rushed to add, eyes flicking to her sundae, "not that it's weird or anything. We've just always been like this, right? People think we're—"
"A thing?"
She looked up.
He was watching her carefully. His tone was casual, but his eyes held something a little heavier. Something curious. Hesitant.
"Yeah," she said quietly. "Everyone always thinks that."
A beat passed.
He shrugged. "Can you blame them?"
She paused. "Why? Because we hang out all the time?"
"Because you drag me furniture shopping and call it 'fun,' then force me to carry a lamp the size of a small child while you feed me cherries at an ice cream shop."
Nakyoung smiled slowly, eyes narrowing.
"Okay, when you say it like that..."
He nudged the lamp between them with his elbow. "I'm just saying. It sounds like dating."
She didn't say anything for a moment. She just stirred her sundae, letting the whipped cream melt into the chocolate.
"Would it be weird if it was?"
His breath caught. "What?"
She looked up, blinking like she hadn't meant to say it out loud. Then forced a laugh as if to make the situation less awkward. "Never mind. It'd be super weird. Like—disastrously weird."
"Right," he said, voice tight. "Weird."
They both went back to eating, not meeting each other's eyes.
The lamp leaned against his shoulder again.
He sighed.
"We're never going to talk about this again, are we?"
She looked at him. Really looked this time. Her lips parted like she might say something important.
But then her phone buzzed. A message. A distraction. A breath.
She grabbed it. "Oh! Yooyeon says there's a sale at that thrift bookstore near the station. You down?"
Just like that, the moment dissolved.
(YN) nodded. "Sure. Why not."
And so, they got up, a little too quickly, brushing off whatever that almost-conversation was.
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The bookstore was tucked between a bakery and a nail salon, easy to miss if you weren't looking for it. But it was one of Nakyoung's favorite places—walls lined with secondhand books, the smell of paper and wood polish, and the soft hum of an old jazz playlist playing through dusty ceiling speakers.
Most of the time, she found a quiet place to sleep that wasn't her apartment, but sometimes she liked to dabble in a book or two while enjoying the air conditioning inside.
She always made a beeline for the poetry and vintage romance sections. (YN) always ended up near the travel books or graphic novels. Somehow, they'd always meet again in the middle like magnets.
Today wasn't any different—except maybe it was.
"Hey," she called from behind a shelf. "Would you still be friends with me if I read the cringiest, cheesiest romance novels of all time?"
He looked up from a comic book with a familiar spider superhero on the cover. "You already do."
Nakyoung rolled her eyes from the other side of the shelf. He could barely see her, but he knew the exact look she was giving him. "So, did you find anything nice?"
"Nothing much apart from this," he raised the comic book in his hands slightly, holding it up with a grin. "I'm seriously considering getting into superhero comics."
She peeked over the top of the shelf, her expression playful. "Oh no. Not you too. I thought we agreed they were cheesy."
"No," he said, flipping it to a random page, "we agreed you were cheesy. I'm just being enlightened."
"Sure," she laughed, grabbing a different book from the shelf and pretending to read it upside down. "I'm still unconvinced."
The sound of the bell above the door rang as a couple of people walked in, and the buzz of quiet conversation filled the space around them. As they continued to flip through books, the conversation shifted naturally from comics to their plans for the weekend.
"So, are you going to that party at Xinyu's this Friday?" Nakyoung asked, glancing at him over the top of the book.
(YN) paused, then shrugged. "I mean... probably? You know, the usual. Lots of people, loud music. Could be fun."
"You should come. I'm dragging you there anyway," she said with a smirk. "There's no escaping now. I'm your best friend. I'll make sure you can't leave early."
He chuckled, but there was something hesitant in his eyes. "A party... I don't know. Doesn't sound like my thing."
"You say that every time, and yet, you always end up staying longer than you planned." She smiled, dropping the book back onto the shelf and walking toward him. "Besides, you can't be the only one who avoids dancing all night. I'll be right there with you."
"Is that supposed to be comforting?"
"Absolutely," she said, her voice softening as she reached his side, her hand brushing his as she scanned a nearby shelf. "Come on. I promise it'll be a good time. Plus, I know how much you secretly like a good excuse to dress up."
(YN) rolled his eyes but didn't move away. "I'll think about it."
"Good. You better."
The mention of the party seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and for the briefest second, he almost told her that he would go because he'd want to be there. Not because she was dragging him along, but because she'd be there.
But before he could say anything, she changed the subject, pulling another book off the shelf. "You should totally read this. It's by the same author who wrote that detective novel you liked."
"Yeah?" he asked, still holding onto the moment. "Maybe I will."
They both stood quietly for a second, the weight of words unsaid lingering between them. Then, as if nothing had happened, Nakyoung flashed him a wide grin and dropped the book into his hands.
"Alright, we're done here," she declared, tugging him toward the door. "Let's go. I'm starving."
And just like that, they slipped back into their usual rhythm, like they always did.
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The week continued just like usual. They balanced their university duties and their own lives all throughout. And just like usual, they had days when they hung out with each other, when one spent the morning, afternoon, and even the night at the other's apartment. Of course, one of them slept on the bed, and the other slept on the couch—I'll just let you guess which was which.
But each time they woke up to the morning in the same place, same kitchen, cooking their identical breakfasts. Scrambled eggs. Toast. And just a little bit of extra butter, because that's how they both liked it.
But today?
Today felt different.
(YN) had sent a text earlier in the day. Simple. Casual. "Hey, you good? We still on for tonight?"
No reply.
It wasn't like Nakyoung to leave him hanging. She always showed up, even if she was late. But as the day dragged on, he started to wonder if maybe she wasn't going to show at all.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, he was already half-walking to the park, assuming she'd be there by the fountain, like she always was. No text. No word.
He walked in circles, his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, his thoughts trailing off. Maybe she was just busy with something. Or maybe she was avoiding him, something that was definitely not unusual, considering how she could always be too chill sometimes when it came to these hangouts.
He checked his phone again, still no reply.
That was it. He was giving up.
And then, just as he was about to head back home, there she was.
Nakyoung was strolling along the park path, hands in her pockets, a nonchalant air about her. She looked like she hadn't just completely disappeared for most of the day.
"Wow, finally," (YN) called, raising his brows.
Nakyoung smirked. "I was just... taking my time."
"Oh yeah?" He crossed his arms. "You're a little late, don't you think?"
She shrugged. "I got caught up. But now that I'm here, are you gonna keep scowling or are you gonna act like you're happy to see me?"
"Only because you dragged me here. I was planning to go home."
She scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "Liar. You were probably planning to pace around the park, waiting for me."
(YN) was about to say something witty back when she leaned in, looking mischievously at the fountain. "But now that I'm here, I think we should make the most of it."
He raised an eyebrow, curious. "And how do you suggest we do that?"
Without warning, she hopped onto the stone edge of the fountain, balancing herself like a daredevil. "Follow me if you dare," she challenged with a grin.
(YN) couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head. "You're ridiculous."
"You love it," she teased, before hopping down and heading for the nearby walking trail. "Come on, let's at least make the walk interesting."
He rolled his eyes but followed, the two of them slipping back into the comfortable routine of their banter as the evening settled into the quiet of the park. It was just like any other night, just like any other walk—nothing to complicate things.
"So, the party tomorrow, you still going?" Nakyoung broke through the cold air as she threw arms to the side to stretch.
"I guess so. Summer break just started so I might as well start it with a bang." He replied, his eyes glued to the path before them but he still took his chances to glance at the side of her face.
"Great! I've been thinking of not going but now you say that, I'll go just for you." The girl giggled softly through her words.
His breath was caught at the back of his throat before he took a second to recuperate. "What's up? Didn't think you were the type to turn down an invite to something, let alone an invite to a party."
"Yeah, I'm not the type to, but who knows? Maybe I would like a day for myself and myself alone."
(YN) narrowed his eyes at her, pretending to be deeply offended. "Wow. So you're saying I don't count as 'yourself'? After all these years?"
Nakyoung turned her head toward him, eyes sparkling. "You? You're more like... a permanent guest star in my sitcom."
"That's so rude," he gasped, clutching his chest dramatically like he always did. "I'm at least a co-lead."
She laughed, nudging his side with her elbow. "Fine. You're like... that one character who everyone knows should've ended up with the main girl, but the writers just keep dragging it out for five seasons."
(YN) let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. "You mean the fan-favorite with the tragic backstory and great hair?"
"Oh yeah. That one."
They walked a few more steps in companionable silence, their shoes crunching against the gravel path, until (YN) glanced sideways again.
"So, about the party," he said casually, "are we arriving separately or... together-together?"
Nakyoung stopped walking and looked at him with mock confusion. "Together-together? What is this, a high school prom?"
"I just need to know if I should wait for you outside like a gentleman," he shrugged, "or go ahead and avoid being fashionably late because someone always takes forever picking an outfit."
"I do not take forever," she said, scandalized.
"You once made me sit outside your apartment for forty minutes because you couldn't choose between the blue sneakers and the white ones."
"They are completely different outfits!" she defended.
"They're both shoes."
"They're make or break the whole thing!"
He snorted. "Yeah, you almost broke me after making me wait."
She bumped his shoulder. "And yet, you waited."
He didn't say anything to that. He just smiled, small and quiet, before nudging her back. "Alright then, co-lead. I'll pick you up."
"Only if you promise not to wear those weird loafers again."
"They're vintage!"
"They're cursed. Again, we're going to a friend's house, not a company meeting!"
The two of them kept walking, their banter floating on the cool air, the party looming just on the edge of tomorrow. Neither said it out loud, but they both knew—when the music played and the lights got low, there'd be more eyes on them than just their own.
But for now? For now, it was just another walk. Just like always.
And tomorrow was for a party that might change the landscape between them.
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The party was already in full swing by the time they stepped inside. Lights were dimmed to a warm golden glow, music thumped low through the floorboards, and the air was thick with the scent of fruity punch, salty snacks, and someone's overuse of drugstore cologne. It was the kind of party that had too many people in too little space, but somehow that made everything feel more alive.
(YN) and Nakyoung stepped through the door like they owned the place—laughing, matching step for step, brushing shoulders in the crowded hallway like no one else existed. She had on a loose sweater that kept slipping off one shoulder, and he had that soft, casual look with sleeves rolled up just enough to look effortless. Heads turned, like they always did when those two entered a room together. Friends greeted them with knowing smirks. Someone near the kitchen whispered,
"They have to be dating, right?"
They weren't. Obviously. Just best friends. Best friends who showed up to parties together. Best friends who looked at each other like they were in a K-drama about to end the episode on a slow-motion stare. Best friends who made everyone else feel like a third wheel, without meaning to.
Everything was fine—until it wasn't.
(YN) had gone to grab drinks. Two cups.
One for her.
One for him.
The kitchen was crowded, and he had to gently shoulder his way past people. He took his time picking the drinks, distractedly scanning for anything that didn't look suspiciously like jungle juice. When he turned back, cups in hand, Nakyoung was already surrounded—laughing, arms folded casually as a guy leaned in a little too close, saying something that made her tilt her head back and laugh again.
Something in (YN)'s chest twisted. He didn't recognize the guy, but that didn't matter. What mattered was the way Nakyoung didn't move away. The way she smiled. The way she tossed her hair over her shoulder like it was second nature.
He forced a grin and walked over, offering her the drink.
"Oh—hey!" she said brightly, taking it from him. "This is Taehyun. We had intro to psych together last year."
Taehyun smiled, sticking out his hand. "Nice to meet you, man. You're...?"
"He's my best friend," Nakyoung chimed in before YN could answer.
(YN) smiled tightly and shook the guy's hand. "Yep. Just the best friend."
Just. The best friend.
That sat bitter on his tongue for the rest of the night.
He drifted around the party, answering half-hearted questions, pretending to care about someone's summer internship, but his eyes kept finding her. She'd moved away from Taehyun eventually, rejoining their usual friend group, but he couldn't shake the image of her laughing like that. So easy. So open. So...flirty?
It shouldn't have bothered him. But it did.
He caught snippets of conversations, zoned out of most of them, and every time someone teased him with a "Where's your girlfriend?" he gave a nonchalant shrug. He wasn't even sure what the right answer was anymore.
When it finally felt like the party was winding down, he found her near the back patio, nursing what was probably her third soda and staring at the string lights tangled in the bushes. She smiled when she saw him, but he couldn't fully return it.
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The ride home was quiet. The kind of quiet that buzzed with everything unsaid.
Nakyoung stared out the passenger window, one leg pulled up in the seat, her hand fiddling with the hem of her sleeve.
(YN) tapped the steering wheel lightly, unsure how to start. The neon lights from passing signs washed through the car in slow intervals. Every few seconds, her face would light up in soft pinks or cool blues, and he'd steal a glance.
"You wanna stop by for a bit? Kinda in the mood for some fresh air." Nakyoung broke through the sounds of the radio as they passed through the park that sat itself beside the Han river.
Not wanting to decline her request, he found a spot to pull over before going along with her despite all of the pent up jealousy he had inside.
They now stood together, the silence from the car ride still shared between them. Once again, they followed the graveled path in front of them like any walk in the park, the light posts lighting up their way. They were still quite the population around, some alone, some in pairs as they all shared the same view of the river flowing through the city.
Nakyoung eventually found a spot to sit, it was a patch of grass, he guessed that it was better than sitting on nothing. As they sat on the patch of soil, a cool breeze flew right by. She rubbed her arms together, wishing she had worn something that had longer sleeves.
Just then, she felt something soft draped over her shoulders. She looked down and found that his jacket had made its way over her shoulders. Nakyoung glanced at him as he acted as if this was a normal act he did and she smiled.
Nakyoung pulled the jacket tighter around her, feeling the warmth seep through the fabric, contrasting against the cool night air. She smiled at the gesture, but there was a heaviness in the silence that made her heart race. She could sense the tension, that quiet undercurrent of something more—something unspoken.
(YN) kept his gaze on the river, his jaw set in a tight line, clearly lost in thought. He had a way of doing that when something bothered him, becoming distant, pulling away just enough to avoid addressing it head-on.
Nakyoung, though, wasn't one to shy away from confrontation—especially when it came to him. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, her voice carrying just above the whisper of the wind.
He didn't respond right away, and for a moment, she thought he might let it slide. But then, after a long pause, he exhaled sharply. "It's nothing."
She raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "Really? Because you've been acting like a storm cloud since we left. You're definitely not okay."
(YN) finally turned to look at her, the flicker of frustration clear in his eyes. "You were having fun with him," he said, his tone sharp but tinged with an edge of something more vulnerable. "Taehyun. You were laughing with him like you do with me."
Nakyoung's gaze softened. She knew exactly where this was coming from, and the realization hit her like a wave. He was jealous. Her best friend, her constant, was jealous of another guy. She couldn't help the flutter in her chest and the laugh stifling at her lips.
"What's wrong with that?" she asked quietly. "He's just a guy I know. Nothing serious."
But even as she said it, Nakyoung could feel the truth hanging in the air, that it wasn't just about Taehyun. It wasn't about the guy at all, it was about the way (YN) felt when he saw her with anyone else, the way it made him realize something he hadn't been ready to face.
YN huffed and looked away. "I don't know, Nakyoung. I've been trying to ignore it. Trying to act like I don't feel... the way I do."
"Trying to ignore what?"
He didn't answer right away, instead watching the water in front of them, the soft ripples catching the streetlight. After another beat of silence, (YN) sighed heavily, like he was carrying a weight that had been too much to bear.
"I don't want to feel this way," he admitted, his voice barely above a murmur. "I don't want to ruin this. Us."
Nakyoung's heart skipped a beat. She stared at him for a moment, not sure if she'd heard him right. "What do you mean?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
He met her gaze, his eyes soft but filled with an emotion she hadn't expected to see in them. "I've been pretending. Pretending that I'm just your best friend and pretending like I don't want to be anything more. But the truth is, I can't do that anymore. I don't want to do that anymore."
Nakyoung's breath hitched in her chest. Everything she'd been feeling—the unspoken connection, the little moments that lingered too long—came crashing into her all at once. She had thought she was alone in this.
But she wasn't.
Before she could even find the words, he stood up from the grass and looked down at her.
Nakyoung looked at his eyes and saw something fragile within them.
"I like you, Nakyoung. More than I should. More than I'm supposed to."
He continued, trying to say it with his chest yet his voice trembled slightly.
She swallowed hard, the weight of his confession sinking in. For a second, everything around them seemed to fade, the city, the river, the night. It was just the two of them, on the patch of grass, caught in a moment that neither of them had been brave enough to face before.
Nakyoung's chest tightened and she acted quickly to stand up in front of him.
She reached down, her fingers brushing against his hand as if testing the waters.
"To be completely honest, I've been pretending too," she admitted, her voice low but steadied with a soft chuckle.
"I like you too, idiot. I think I always have."
The words hung between them for a moment, neither of them sure what to do next. It felt like the world had shifted in that instant, like everything had suddenly become clear, yet there was still so much to figure out.
But in that quiet, shared space, there was only one thing that mattered now.
Nakyoung leaned forward, her heart pounding in her ears. "No more playing house," she whispered.
And without hesitation, she closed the distance between them, her lips finding his in a kiss that felt like both a beginning and an ending. It was slow, tender, full of everything they hadn't said until now, and in that kiss, they found something new—something real.
When they finally pulled away, breathless, Nakyoung placed her arms behind her, looking away shyly . "You know," she said with a smile looking back, "this is going to make our hangouts a lot more awkward, huh?"
(YN) laughed, the sound light and free. "I don't think it'll be awkward. I think it'll be. . .perfect."
And just like that, the weight that had been hanging between them was gone. No more pretending. Only the two of them, finding their way through something neither of them had expected, but both of them had needed.
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BONUS!
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The sunlight filtered softly through Nakyoung's bedroom curtains, golden and warm, catching on the edges of her blanket as she stirred beneath it. Her phone buzzed lazily on the nightstand, and she reached out with one hand, groaning as she grabbed it.
[7:42 AM] (YN)-nnie:You awake?
[7:43 AM] (YN)-nnie:If I show up with coffee, are you gonna let me in or pretend you're still asleep?
She smiled, cheeks heating as last night replayed in her mind like a dream she hadn't wanted to wake up from. The river, the jacket, the kiss. No more pretending.
[7:45 AM] Nakyoung:i'm awake now. make it iced and i might let you in.
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Fifteen minutes later, she cracked open the door to find him standing there with two iced americanos and a sheepish grin. His hoodie was slightly too big, hair messy like he'd barely brushed it—and she loved it. She hated how much she loved it.
"You look like you didn't sleep," she said, taking her coffee and stepping aside.
"I didn't," he admitted. "I was too busy replaying every second of last night and wondering if it was real."
Nakyoung raised an eyebrow as she took a sip. "So romantic."
He laughed. "What can I say? You make me act like this."
They settled onto her couch, both curled beneath a shared blanket that still smells vaguely like his cologne from the night before. For a while, they just sipped their drinks in silence, their legs tangled comfortably together, the kind of quiet that felt like peace.
After a beat, Nakyoung peeked over the rim of her cup. "So... what happens now?"
(YN) paused, then looked at her with that soft, earnest expression she was quickly learning to treasure. "Now we try. For real. And I do all the stupid things boyfriends do. Like carry your bags and send good morning texts and get irrationally jealous when random guys from psych try to flirt with you."
She snorted. "You already do all that."
He grinned. "Yeah. But now I get to kiss you too."
Nakyoung flushed, and without needing to say anything more, she leaned in and kissed him again—just because she could.
Always making sure you’ve eaten before your meetings or rehearsals, sometimes sneakily bringing you snacks.
Talks through problems out loud, and expects you to listen patiently even when he’s just thinking.
Gets extra protective when you’re stressed, offering long hugs and warm tea without saying much.
Shares random playlists he’s made to match your mood, whether you’re happy or sad.
Sometimes texts you a countdown to the next time you’ll see each other, just to hype you up.
Insists on late-night video calls when he’s on tour, even if it means losing sleep.
Surprises you with handwritten notes tucked into your belongings to find later.
“Hey, it’s 2 a.m. here,” you yawned, rubbing your eyes.
“I know,” Chan said, smiling wide through the screen. “But I couldn’t sleep without saying goodnight. Plus, I want to see your face before I crash.”
You chuckled. “You’re such a softie.”
“Only for you.”
ㅤSchrodinger told us that there’s a fifty percent chance that the cat in his box is either dead or alive up until that lid is opened.
ㅤSchrodinger — no matter how absurd it must’ve seemed to the eyes of the people — limited his imaginations not to the bounds of reality but a reality he deems too foreign to be accepted globally.
ㅤSo what truly limits us — people — in imagining things beyond our scope when one of our own made his a scientific breakthrough? Even when we’re called delusional or even optimistic, we are merely asking a simple question:
ㅤ“What if it was like this; what if it was like that?”
ㅤInsecurities linger in when a hopeful imagination looks too far beyond our reach. We devalue ourselves, trust less of what we’re capable of doing when things align and bottle ourselves.
ㅤAnd yet, we still wake up — wake up to the reality that sometimes lets it happen, allow it to happen, show it happen in real time. For as long as we gather and build ourselves up to strive for that one thing, nothing is impossible.
ㅤThe world’s one hell of a comedian. One point you know you’re in hell — then the next you’re in unimaginable bliss. I smiled to myself as I let my eyes drift open.
ㅤThe waves crashing echoing in my ears, the heat of the sun gently coating my skin, the cheers of people bellowing to the side.
ㅤI smiled. They laughed like it was their last. They cheered and cheered as if their team won the finals.
ㅤI smiled once again. I recognized these people — all too well. That one in blue got me through my first heartbreak. The one in dark green fisted my gut after I beat him in the punching machine. Or maybe even that one in burgundy that still owes me five bucks.
ㅤGawon, a woman of feline appearance, my Schrodinger’s cat — zero percent against me; a hundred percent present in my life.
Her eyes, the very eyes that she used to capture my feelings. As the graceful mover came closer, I was staring at her — silence clouded my mind and I was sucked into an internal tunnel where I was transported. I move my hands, wiggle my feet, my body responding to each movement that I want then…
The first scene was me holding the flimsy lightstick that I borrowed from my friend, funny that I don’t know the group so well but went to a concert with the little knowledge that I have just to discover Kpop. As the people around me were buzzing, literally their excitement was oozing, I couldn’t help but to wonder, why? Those artists probably didn’t know their fans’ name, life, or even yet, their existence.
Then the lights went off — then those girls appeared with a bang. The stage presence they flaunted was exceptional, people around me were in awe, some jumping like they’re in a rave, some weeping while singing with all of their hearts. The energy was through the roof and then the five girls separated to their desired sides, as a chance to interact with their fans.
As a person who got VIP seating, I was seated near the stage and they’re so close. So close that I saw her, the member who decided to go wave at our section. The tall one, Gawon.
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The local coffee shop was my staple. Great coffees, delicious pastries, and better yet, prices are generous. With my mocha drink and sweet bread, I thought that nothing would surpass the contentment until someone went to me, with a voice husky but soft.
“Hey, is this seat taken?” The girl asked as one thing that I didn’t notice was how full the cafe was.
“Please, I’m by myself,” I responded and she sat in front of me, setting her bag at the little table beside her — she looked familiar… and she looked at me with a smile. Gawon.
Fuck that smile, why did my heart suddenly beat? What is this?
“Congratulations on the successful concert,” I muttered without my dumb mind thinking. Gosh, she might think that I’m a creep. Great job (YN)
“Thank you, I saw you,” She saw me… she fucking saw me… what? How did she remember me? I looked at her with curiosity and she was just smiling at me softly — with her honey skin, make up was just a touch and presented to me was her natural beauty.
“I saw you holding TWICE’s sunbaenims lightstick, not ours,” Gawon finished with a chuckle while embarrassment entered my mind. I thought my friend gave me the right lightstick for the group… I’m so gonna kill him.
“I’m so sorry… that’s why it’s different from the others!” I facepalmed while Gawon just laughed with that smooth, melodic laugh. Like honey, her voice was so sweet light… and addicting?
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“So, what do you think of having strings attached to you even though it doesn’t matter?” Gawon asked from her book as I sipped my drink in peace, her eyes lingering at me with calmness and curiosity in the topic.
“Well… a string always leads to something. May not be in the future but certainly in the past,” I shrugged, looking at her to see if she was satisfied with my answer. “Look, a string doesn’t mean you’re only connected to a person, it also shows your improvement or bond with someone,”
“But the person doesn’t matter anymore, what’s the string for?” Having a curiosity of a cat, Gawon looked at me with her big doe eyes that mirrors confusion, interest, even more so, intrigue. As her gaze locks on me — I was lured in this invisible labyrinth… a place where instead endless walls are present, all I see is her, her smile, the mole on her nose, her eyes, the smile, her — Gawon.
“Yo (YN), you like me that much?” I was pulled out in my trance, making me shake my head and look at her damn beauty again. “Assuming much?” I downplayed her suspicion but in reality, my heart is fluttering like it's new to me. Never have I ever felt this but… I would like for it to happen again.
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“Wake up you snoreasss, let me sleep you idiot!” Gawon flimsy threw a pillow towards me but it immediately met the floor. The groggy morning monster was in full effect as the flailing of her long arms continued to hit my sides with its 100 speed and 0 power. Don’t be fooled by Gawon though, she can be the most ethereal person in the whole world until you annoy her and ohhhh boy — “Don’t talk to me” She quietly said, with a firm resolve and then, silence.
The lack of sound was eerily tensing that even a drop of a hairpin would be heard and then, I jolted. I woke up and the first thing I saw was her back and in my mind I was like
“Oh shit. I’m fucked,” My clouded mind was alerted and all fatigue was sucked out of me.
“Gawon~ good morning,” I cooed in order to save myself in the upcoming silent treatment that will happen. The sweetest tone came out of me even though I find it cringe as well but again, anything to alleviate the punishing silence she’s planning.
At this point of our lives, the common interests of us reading books nurtures into something more lovely. Though with the difficulties her job possesses, we mutually agreed to take our friendship into another level — a level that I’m not expecting to be fair.
“Eggs and bacon. Make my go to coffee and let’s talk,” Gawon’s body flipped like a dolphin just to face me. Though her disheveled hair, drool stains, and husky voice are evident, the mischievous eyes she has shows something grim inside her mind.
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I stumped the floor of their practice room with Sooin basically scribbling notes and blackmails she will use against me in the future while my miserable body kissing the cold hardwood was left alone neglected by my girlfriend and one of her members. “Not bad babe, considering the demanding choreography we have, you did well!” Gawon cheered and praised me despite my current state.
“There’s a reason… why… I’m doing… accounting…” I speak like a dog who ran a 10km nonstop full-sprint , panting heavily as I gasp every inch of oxygen available in the room. Though desperation was in my mind, the idols looked at me in mockery as they stifled a laugh at my puddled body.
“Get up whiny puppy,” Gawon pulled my arms up with no resolve as I’m just jelly at this moment.
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She’s there… in front of me, wearing the long white dress that we long to see her wearing. Gawon was so close that it made me want to just reach out to her — crush her in the biggest and fattest hug that I can give her as my emotions go haywire from sheer joy and excitement.
Without a doubt, I reached my hands to her as she looked at me with her eyes with its brown hues that are so soft, warm, and — my home. Yes, that’s it. I’m home when I’m with her.
The girl went beside me as I helped her with the silky dress she handpicked for our special day. The unexplainable beauty, personality, and qualities she already has factors in the kind of woman she will be. Many people may have known her as MEOVV’S Gawon but I got a rare card to know her as the real Lee Gawon, the real her — the woman who will share the name with me.
As we wait for us to be one, I can’t help but to chuckle a bit and look at Gawon who was now looking at me weirdly with that iconic disgust face she uses on me almost every week . “I remember that you were shaking before this,” I whispered to her and she responded quite rapidly “Because of Ella and her brainrots, maybe shenanigans she will do after the ceremony;” Gawon clicked her tongue at the idea, making me stifle more.
“As we witness the celebration of the unification of the couple in front of us today, may I invite you all to watch them share the love and joy that unites them…” The minister pronounces the opening words of the ceremony and my hands crept on top of hers — holding hers as she intertwined with mine — she took a peek at me with a subtle smile, and then held my hand tighter, leaning closer to me as she whispers;
“I’m ready…. Let’s open another chapter of you and me,”
pairing: fem!reader (5th member) × Lisa (blackpink's house)
summary: The rest of the girls and the staff go on a boat trip to film Blackpink House, but Lisa and fem!reader are too scared of the sea, so the staff sends them back to the hotel until further notice.
warnings: female!reader (gip), virgin lisa, handjob, oral sex, just two best friends fucking 😽.
word count: 3.3k
a/n: parasailing is the recreational activity of gliding through the air wearing an open parachute while being towed by a motorboat. 🚤 🪂
The five girls in the group sat waiting in the van while the staff sat outside on the sand, under the sun, setting up the cameras to start filming. Rosé laughed with Y/N as they watched funny videos on their phones. All the girls waited for time to pass and for them to finally be called to start filming today's episode. The van door opened, and the head of staff held up a sheet of paper and began to read, outlining the activities they were to film next: having a chat while sitting on the sand, boarding the boat and swimming in the middle of the sea with a life jacket, parasailing, and having dinner at the restaurant.
All the activities sounded fun, except for parasailing, which Y/N and Lisa didn't seem very excited about, to be honest.
"Oppa, is parasailing really necessary? I'm not sure I could do it..." Lisa blurted out.
"Me neither. Honestly, I'm terrified of heights," Y/N added. The head of staff scratched his neck, thinking they couldn't just leave them out of this activity; they had to appear in this episode too.
After debating it for almost ten minutes, the head of staff agreed to let Lisa and Y/N skip the parasailing thing, on the condition that they film some extra scenes on their own tomorrow. While the rest of the girls got ready, putting on their life jackets and boarding the boat, the other two watched from the shore.
"How long do you think it will take them to get back?" Lisa asked as the two girls waved goodbye to the others from a distance.
"I don't know, but I'm starving." The two girls started walking back to the hotel, holding hands—a common gesture between them. It was almost nightfall, so the restaurants in the area already had loud music and light shows to attract customers, but the girls ignored them; right now they wanted something quieter.
"Let's order something light to the room; we shouldn't eat too much or our stomachs will get bloated."
"I don't care if my stomach gets bloated." Y/N said.
"You'll care later when we film the scenes walking on the sand in swimsuits." Lisa said. When they arrived at the hotel, they went straight to the elevator. Lisa pressed the button for their floor, and the metal doors closed in front of them.
Elevator music filled the air; it was a calming melody. Upon reaching their floor, they walked to Lisa's room. Each member of Blackpink has their own room, of course, but they both decided to hang out together in this one. Y/N was surprised when she entered the room. There was only an open suitcase full of clothes on the floor and a pair of summer shoes on the small sofa by the window, in contrast to her own room, which was a complete mess.
Lisa pulled her phone out of her pocket and flopped down on the bed, while Y/N wandered around the room, indulging in a little curiosity.
"Sht- stop being nosy!" Lisa said, Y/N jumped and giggled, running back to the bed next to Lisa.
After lying next to her friend for a few minutes, she suddenly felt a wave of hunger. "Let's order food, what do you want?" Y/N got up and grabbed the hotel phone from the wall. Once they'd decided what to order, Y/N placed the order, and then ran back to the bed and playfully jumped on Lisa.
"You're hurting me, Y/N, stop it!" Laughter quickly filled the room, and a fight broke out between the two girls to see who was stronger. Y/N managed to immobilize Lisa, pinning her wrists to either side of her head. Then, she launched a tickle attack, targeting Lisa's stomach. Lisa was laughing uncontrollably, kicking and trying to use her whole body to make Y/N stop, but she couldn't. "Okay, okay! I give up!"
With those words, Y/N declared herself the winner, starting to climb off Lisa's body. In a clever move, Lisa managed to switch roles, and now she was on top, tickling Y/N, who was now in stitches.
"Hey, that's not fair! You said you gave up!" Y/N yelled as she fought against Lisa's large, agile hands, tickling her to death.
"Yeah, well... I say a lot of things!"
Now it was Lisa who was on top of her, one knee on either side of Y/N's hips, sitting on her lower abdomen and enjoying Y/N's red face from laughing so hard. The laughter was gradually subsiding, as was Lisa's attack. "You're so easy to fool." Lisa shifted slightly on top of Y/N, and then the latter's laughter stopped abruptly, leaving her with a somewhat stiff and flushed expression.
"What's wrong?" Lisa asked, looking at her, not understanding why the laughter had stopped so suddenly.
"I-I... nothing!" Y/N stammered, trying to push Lisa away.
"Nothing? Of course something's wrong. Why did you stop laughing?" Y/N didn't even have time to think of an answer before Lisa let out a small, silent "Oh..."
Lisa had realized what had happened, the reason for the sudden silence. Lisa had felt something hard press against her, right in the area of her core. Lisa froze, thinking about getting off Y/N, but her body wouldn't respond. She blushed slightly and then turned to look at Y/N's face, searching for her gaze.
Y/N was incredibly embarrassed, avoiding Lisa's eyes, wishing the earth would swallow her whole. Her own body had betrayed her; her damn cock couldn't control itself.
"I-I'm sorry, Lisa..." all she could do was apologize and hope Lisa didn't think she was a damn pervert. Once again, she tried to move Lisa's body, but Lisa didn't budge an inch. Silence filled the room, and she thought her face must be as red as a tomato right now.
"Did I cause that?" Lisa asked, looking embarrassed but genuinely curious. Y/N nodded yes, avoiding eye contact at all costs. "Sorry..." and that's when Y/N placed her hands on Lisa's waist and lowered her, allowing her to sit beside her on the bed.
The silence was deafening, and the discomfort grew by the second. She hunched her back, trying to hide her ever-increasing erection. But what could she do now? Just wait uncomfortably for it to subside? Y/N knew from experience that her erections never went down on their own, and every time it happened, she had to masturbate. But getting up right now and going to the bathroom would be incredibly embarrassing, considering Lisa had already seen the bulge in her pants.
"Y/N, you have an erection, don't you?" Lisa's voice pulled her from her thoughts, and upon hearing her words, Y/N wanted to run away—anything to avoid this embarrassing conversation. Y/N thought Lisa would probably think she was disgusting, since she'd gotten a hard-on from such simple physical interaction. "Do you need help?"
Had she heard right? Lisa was offering to help her? But... how would she? "What?"
"Just... as friends. It wouldn't mean anything; we're friends, and that's what friends do." Lisa said, moving just a little closer. "Besides... you know, I've never seen one..." whispered.
This seemed like a damn joke. Where were the cameras?!
"You... want to see it?" Despite the extreme embarrassment she felt, she couldn't deny that she was starting to get a little turned on by all this. Lisa simply nodded, biting her lower lip slightly, expectant.
Y/N's hands were trembling. Was she really about to show her most private and sensitive part to her bandmate? Y/N brought her hands to the button of her pants, undoing them, and once she did, she slowly began to pull them down her thighs, revealing her underwear, which was being pushed up by her erection.
"Oh..." Lisa sighed. "Does it hurt?" she asked, her gaze fixed on the dick covered by the fabric of her underwear.
"A little, only if I don't touch it for too long." Y/N explained, her breath ragged. Lisa nodded, and then her hand began to move almost on its own, slowly advancing up the other's thigh until it reached its apparent destination.
Y/N felt a jolt of electricity course through her body at the unexpected touch. Lisa touched her cock with her open palm, giving it a light squeeze now and then, causing Y/N's breath to catch in her throat. Then, Lisa hooked her fingers into the elastic of the underwear and slowly began to pull it down, until Y/N's cock sprang free. Lisa's eyes widened at the sight; Y/N had a long, fleshy cock with a pink, swollen tip, completely hairless since she had shaved a few days earlier to film the beach scenes with a swimsuit.
The tip rested against Y/N's navel, the cool air raising goosebumps on her skin, as she waited eagerly for Lisa's next touch.
“So, this is what they look like…” Lisa said under her breath, Y/N heard her and was a little surprised.
"Have you never seen a cock in person before?" asked. Lisa raised her gaze to connect with Y/N's and denied.
"No."
Y/N was genuinely surprised. How could Lisa have never seen a cock in person before? But the fact that her cock was the first one Lisa had ever seen was incredibly arousing. "Lisa, you don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"I want to." she whispered with determination. She raised her hand to Y/N's waist and held it gently, lifting her gaze to make eye contact, smiling as she watched Y/N's chest rise and fall somewhat rapidly. Y/N, with a touch of impatience, brought her hand to her own cock and began to pump slowly, holding it at the base. "Can I try?"
Y/N nodded and released her cock. Her hand was immediately replaced by Lisa's, who wrapped her fingers around the shaft and began to move her wrist up and down. Y/N could have exploded right then, but she held back. She would be too embarrassed if she allowed herself to cum with just that touch. But it felt so good...
Y/N supported herself with both hands behind her back, gripping the sheets tightly. Lisa's movements were slow and deliberate, her gaze fixed on Y/N's erection; she seemed mesmerized by it. Then Lisa's hand moved lower with each thrust, this time tracing the entire length of her cock, from the base where it connected to her swollen balls to the pink glans.
"Is that a mole?" Lisa's curious voice suddenly asked. Y/N had to open her eyes to see what she meant, and yes, Y/N had a small brown mole on the head of her penis, right next to the urethra.
"Uhm... y-yes" she replied, somewhat embarrassed by feeling exposed and by practically receiving a handjob right now.
"I think it's cute." Lisa moved her thumb to press it lightly on Y/N's mole. At the movement, Y/N let out an unexpected moan, which didn't go unnoticed by Lisa, who immediately looked up and giggled, examining the flushed face of the girl in front of her.
Lisa realized that the tip was a sensitive spot. She knew immediately that she should focus her attention there, but she didn't know how. Or at least that's how it seemed.
While Y/N struggled to maintain her composure, she didn't expect what came next; Lisa's lips rested gently on the tip. Her lips were warm and soft, and Y/N couldn't believe the steamy scene before her. Lisa began to lower her mouth a little more until the pink tip disappeared inside. Y/N let out an embarrassed moan. Lisa tried sucking a little, swirling the tip with her tongue, all without taking her hands off Y/N's swollen balls, where she held and caressed them gently.
"Lisa... How do you know how to do this?" According to Y/N, Lisa was a virgin, as far as she knew. As part of the same K-pop group, all the girls knew everything about each other, so Y/N knew that both Lisa and Rosé were still virgins.
"Porn." she whispered against Y/N's cock, which now glistened with Lisa's saliva that trickled slightly from the tip. That response ignited Y/N even more. She imagined Lisa locked in her room watching adult films on her phone, touching herself under the covers, moaning softly so as not to be discovered. Midway through her thoughts, a loud moan escaped her lips, as without warning, Lisa took half of the cock into her mouth, where Y/N felt the warm throat.
Y/N couldn't believe Lisa learned all this from just porn; she was really good. Y/N brought her hands to Lisa's head and tugged her hair a little at the powerful sensations she was feeling. "I'm going to cum, fuck-"
Unfortunately, Lisa didn't react quickly enough, and Y/N's creamy semen flooded her mouth. By the time Lisa pulled away, Y/N had already ejaculated completely, and the semen trickled down her chin and onto her thighs. Lisa wiped her lips, somewhat stunned by what had just happened. She discovered that the semen was viscous and warm, with a taste that wasn't unpleasant but not particularly pleasant either, rather somewhat bitter.
Seeing Lisa's stained lips and glistening eyes made Y/N's cock jump. She had already cum, but that didn't seem to bother her cock, as it appeared ready to get hard again. Lisa observed Y/N's flushed face and asked, "Did you like it?"
"The question is offensive. I've never cum so fast." It was true; Lisa was good with her mouth, but Y/N knew that part of her quick ejaculation was due to Lisa's warm mouth, but also to the steamy situation they were in; they were two best friends having sex in secret.
Y/N leaned closer to Lisa and pressed their lips together, beginning a kissing session that lasted longer than planned. Lisa opened her mouth to allow Y/N to insert her tongue, the latter nibbling at the other's lips, eliciting moans from her. Suddenly, they were lying down, Lisa's back against the mattress and Y/N on top of her, caressing her bandmate's small but perfectly round breasts. Lisa rubbed her thighs together, seeking some touch, and Y/N noticed, so she parted Lisa's knees and positioned herself between them. She returned to Lisa's lips and whispered, "I really want to be inside you. Can I?"
Lisa nodded immediately, a little impatiently. Y/N helped her remove her denim shorts and t-shirt and tossed them aside. Now Lisa was only in her bra and panties. Y/N took her own cock and brought the tip to Lisa's covered folds. She rubbed the tip against the fabric, wet with Lisa's juices, to make her cock hard again. Lisa moaned at the sensation of the fabric against her clitoris, her index finger caught between her teeth, watching as Y/N worked on getting an erection.
After a while, Y/N's erection was harder than a rock. She looked Lisa in the eyes and sighed. "Hold your legs like this." Y/N placed her hands behind Lisa's knees and pulled them toward her chest as far as she could. Lisa obeyed and held her legs just as instructed. Y/N slipped a finger inside Lisa's panties and moved the fabric aside, exposing her pussy.
Her lips were swollen and glistening with her own juices. She brought the tip of her finger to her clitoris and began to caress it in circles. Lisa moaned softly, biting her lip, but let out a louder moan when Y/N inserted her finger into Lisa's vagina, where it was sucked in and received by her warm, spongy walls.
When Lisa was sufficiently lubricated, Y/N withdrew her finger. It was time to do what they both so desperately needed. Y/N gently held her cock, moved aside the fabric covering Lisa's pussy, and then inserted the tip, just to test it out.
It was her undoing; at that minimal action, they both moaned in unison. It felt so good that Y/N took Lisa's moans as an indication that she could increase the intensity, so she continued inserting her cock into Lisa's pussy until she was halfway in. From her position, Lisa moved one of her hands to Y/N's forearm. "Careful, remember it's my first time doing this."
Y/N looked at her and nodded. Even though it felt great, she knew she had to think about Lisa too, so she waited a few moments, studying Lisa's face, waiting until she allowed her to continue. When Lisa nodded, Y/N then withdrew her cock until only the tip was inside, and then pushed back in, penetrating the tight walls of the girl beneath her. She continued thrusting in and out, stroke after thrust, slowly pushing her cock deeper inside Lisa.
Y/N felt mesmerized watching Lisa's body beneath her, how her back arched and her small breasts bounced with every movement. Y/N gripped her waist, digging her nails into the other's skin as she lost control; she wanted to fuck Lisa so hard she cried.
"Y/N, wait-"
Lisa's words snapped her out of her perverted thoughts.
"What now?..." Y/N thought.
Lisa released her legs and let them fall to either side of Y/N, arching her back so that the tip of Y/N's cock touched a soft, deep spot inside Lisa that sent her seeing stars.
"Like this... fuck me like this-"
Y/N then resumed her movements, noticing that in this new position Lisa threw her head back and closed her eyes tightly. Shortly after, her legs began to tremble slightly. What was this new spot inside Lisa that caused this? Whatever it was, Y/N was enjoying it, and she enjoyed it even more seeing how Lisa seemed to be losing control.
For a couple of seconds, she was lost in her own thoughts, finding herself wondering when they had gotten to this point. Lisa was her best friend; what was she doing fucking her so wildly, and worse, enjoying it?
She snapped back to reality when she felt Lisa's nails digging into her forearm, and judging by the way Lisa's voice seemed to become higher-pitched, she knew she was about to cum. Y/N was close too, and so they both reached orgasm almost simultaneously.
It took them a couple of minutes to catch their breath. Y/N had moved from between Lisa's legs, and now they were both lying on their backs on the mattress.
"It's good you have a cock. You get the fun part without the side effects" Lisa said, breaking the silence.
"Side effects?"
"Boys. You have a cock, but you're not a boy. It's like a double win."
Y/N and Lisa laughed together. The atmosphere between them was relaxed and comfortable. They enjoyed each other's company for the rest of the night. They didn't realize when the clock struck eleven. They only noticed when Lisa checked her phone and saw hundreds of missed calls from the staff crew calling them to film scenes having dinner on a restaurant with the rest of the group.
"They want us back on the beach." Lisa said as she got out of bed and put on her shoes. The two girls had been watching a movie together.
"We'd better go now." Y/N mimicked Lisa and stood up. Once they were both ready, they headed to the door, and before Y/N could turn the handle, Lisa grabbed her forearm to get her attention. "What's wrong?" Y/N asked.
"We're not going to talk about this with anyone, right?" The question confused Y/N, but she still gave what she thought was the best answer.
"No. This... didn't mean anything. We just... helped each other out. It's just sex."
"Just sex... yeah." Lisa was fine with that, having a best friend she could have sex with without a serious relationship, especially since YG didn't allow them to have partners.
"Besides, you know what they say: Keep quiet, get more."
Lisa laughed at Y/N's words and rolled her eyes. They both went out into the hallway.
"Do you want this to happen again?" Lisa asked.
"Honestly, yes. At least for the next few years until YG finally lets us have a relationship."
Both girls were happy about it, especially Lisa, who was impatient for her next encounter with Y/N and counting down the days. In the end, having a best friend you could sleep with in secret excited her. The mere thought of this being their dirty secret gave her a rush of adrenaline.
Genre: Fluff, Sullyoon x M!Manager (age gap, let just say appropriate range), in-depth detail of an idol manager work, 2nd POV style.
Summary: You Y/N being Nmixx manager got into feeling complication with Sullyoon, one of the Nmixx's members (Same goes for Sullyoon with her manager). Multiple instances happened between them in which only strengthen their bond deeper than a mere staff or worker. A controversies strike the group costing your job as their manager. Will their feelings stay intact?
Disclaimer:
First time posting a story on here or ever, English is my second language, technically it is third but the second one in terms of which came first.
Props to my friends for beta read my fic to lessen the mistake in there.
Credit to her for giving the fic such a lovely name. It's so good it freaking make sense
Nmixx manager is a diligent worker, always provide what Nmixx needs. That is you, Y/N we are talking about. All Nmixx known for extrovert aura, but Sullyoon is otherwise, well she did have to blend in with the energy of her group in which she already gotten used to it by now, but her old self still lingers around. With all due respect, other girl is easier to interact with, but Sullyoon is a more on the difficult side. You Y/N, their manager also once a shy timid little boy understood her demeanour clearly, it makes her heart flutter you are able understands her without much communication. The moment when two path crosses its way to conjoined, it all started back in the dressing room where the love spark first ignited in midst of a cold season. Being a caring manager you are, you decided to prepare some set of blankets for the girls. So, you entered the room with the folded blanket.
“Anyone needs a blanket” you voice out to the members. The room was hustling with staff going in and out ensuring the showcase smoothly progressing displaying every group distinct music colour, Nmixx the group you are taking care of was not an exception. You hope for the best award every given to them
“Aniyo (no)” member replied in unison except the one at the far back of the room, Sullyoon. At the corner of your eye, you saw Sullyoon turning around with puppy eyes and slightly protruding her lips looking for you. She assumed you will head out again since the member doesn't need the heated blankets, so she was a little bit let down as she was kind of cold by this frigid atmosphere. “Here you go” astoundment was shown in her eyes staring in appreciation towards you. You didn’t notice her heartful stare as you carry on facing the crowd in the room. “You girls need anything else?”
“You need anything?” Your remarks broke her out of her trance. She shakes her head a bit, eyes fluttering waking up her sense back, “No….… opp- manager-nim” she softly spoke. Red hue on her cheeks can be seen but you sensed it as a fleeting thought because you got a lot to take care of, part-time, siblings college fees and any other breadwinner was tasked for.
“Manager Oppaaa, get me pumpkin spice Americano juseyo and…...” in baby voice, Haewon make a call from the other side of the room. Being their manager for almost two years, you are still amazed by how explosive their energy is, the iconic trio, Kyujin Jiwoo Haewon are unstoppable force, adding Lily and Bae is just a cherry on top.
“Make it three oppa” Kyujin interrupts Haewon while holding her left hands up with the number three. You can sense Haewon glaring her eyes out at Kyujin as you take note of the order on your phone. The so-called twin maknae, Kyujin and Jiwoo always teaming up on their unnie. They even sit next to each other in the room.
You inquire their usual order from the rest of the girls, Lily and Bae. You tilt your head a bit since Sullyoon decline her daily caffeine order. You found it weird especially today with her, as if she's not being her usual self. You clearly notice all the member comfortably call you “Oppa or Manager oppa” beside Sullyoon. Well, it's a given as you regularly call her by her stage name. When you were first introduced to the members, they present themself by their stage name which is their real name but only until later you found out Yoona is her real name. By now it's a habit calling Sullyoon her stage name and looks like it doesn't bother her at all. Little did you know, she does get bother by it, seeing you calling every member by their real name make her heart feel unease.
“The order will be here, see you guys in a bit, got some errands to do, ask manager unnie if you guys need anything, FIGHTING!” with fist clench showing unwavering support to them.
Being the head manager usually handling company, production team and event organizer applications for the group, making sure they are up to date. Most of the time you get it done quickly a week before. Having no pending task, in the meantime you watch the members do their idol work from behind the scenes, assisting manager unnie taking care of the girl’s wellbeing 24/7.
Afternoon and evening schedule are filled with photo shoot, interviews and live broadcast on a music shows. Since it takes place at the Seoul broadcasting station, ending a few schedules at the station with an interview with the media outlet at the front entrance with fans cheering in the background.
Unfortunately, your stomach has been feeling uneasy for the past couple of hours as there's some technical issue earlier at Magazine shooting session making the intended schedule falling behind. You are tapping your feet away waiting behind rows of camera witnessing the girls do their interviews, finishing two to three interviewer question, bidding goodbyes to the fans and walk off to their van. To add salt to injury, the interview also taking a few minutes more than what has been planned, so you must guide the member quickly. That's what your hope for, but fate got better plans for you.
As you lead the group and assist the van’s door. The rest of the girls went on the van, but you saw the back of the Bae’s head covering the incident you never expected to happen. A commotion happens to Sullyoon with a media reporter. The reporter looks like on the last thread of his job and would do anything to keep it, even if he must break the standard moral of conduct. The media reporter was crossing the belt barrier holding onto Sullyoon wrist and bombarded her with questions.
“Mr……please…. stop it” She murmured out her discomfort and wince a bit of pain due to the tight hold. To not cause further the havoc. She grabs her left fist with her right hand to make an attempt to flee the situation. Bae hesitantly come closer to Sullyoon trying to snatch her away from the man. “Mr..…we got other schedule to attend… maybe on the next fan meeting” a chance was taken by Bae but doesn't budge the man’s hold on Sullyoon’s wrist.
“You guys are the reason Jini was kicked out of the group, she never left voluntarily!” The reporter shouted attracting more witnesses to the scene. The girls were startled by the thunderous claim by the man. Jinni issue was settled years ago, even Jinni herself say it herself.
You watched as everyone attention was pointed to them, this matter will only worsen as time goes on, you take big step towards them. Yanking the reporter’s hand off Sullyoon. It takes every ounce of your energy to not put a dent on the reporter’s face. With a lot going in your head from delayed schedule, controversial claim to the sight of frightened Sullyoon really boils your anger.
“Kindly put your hands off the idol Mr, they have fixed schedule needed to follow.” You spoke with teeth clench while trying your best to carve a smile on your face, some even may see your veins pulsing on your temple.
“Yahhh, hands off you basta-” The man was ready to throw hands but reconsider his choice after seeing you seething with anger through a fake smile as it wasn't worth to have broken nose and jaw over his job. He broke off your hold and flee the area. You didn't notice your grip earlier left him to massage his wrist.
“Are you guys, okay?” You gently hold on both of their shoulder checking for any injuries. You quickly ushered them to get into their van. After closing the door, you jog your way to the driver seat and drove off.
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From time to time, you glance at the rear-view mirror to check on the girls, especially Sullyoon. Being assaulted must be putting a lot of weight on her mental health. You cursed yourself for not doing your job properly, probably you should have stayed close when guiding them, or maybe you should have been more attentive about the group schedule last week, then this wouldn't had happened. Today’s occurrence overwhelmed your mind to the brim.
“Oppa, we have arrived” Haewon tapped your shoulder from the backseat. Haewon’s call break you out of your trance. You look over your shoulder and multiple sets of eyes are directed to you. The corner of your eyes detecting your surroundings, makes you realise that you have driven them to their next schedule location instinctively. They have a schedule at Ajou University for rehearsal for upcoming University Festival consert and you brought them here with your mind going autopilot mode. “Your sick piece of shi-” once again you mouth curse word to your carelessness of not being conscious throughout the drive, it could have led to nightmarish accident. “You guys go ahead; I will catch up” signaling them with the back of your hand to go ahead. They all went out leaving you alone in the van. It was one hell of a week you think to yourself. Taking side quest while having a job to take care others was not the most ideal life choice, but the extra cash was needed.
Being a people pleaser really has took a toll on you, having most trusted friends swindle your money with debt still calling your name like student loan, monthly bills. And on top that regular hospital fees for your ailing little sister, Jiu. You wouldn’t want to complain about family burden but it’s still your responsibility. Well, you always hoped being that very unlucky main character to suddenly be granted with the most beautiful reward like those slices of life comic you used to read. You chuckle at your own ridiculousness.
With you having a laugh at your life stories. Sullyoon look back at the van before entering the tent area for the rehearsal. She can't really see you through the window as it was black tinted. But deep within her heart, she hoped that everything would go your way.
For the past years working together, she somewhat able to relates herself with you as both of you are very good at hiding your pain. Back when you have a fever, you pretended to drink an energy drink, but it was actually coughing syrup. You left her flabbergasted taking the sight of others believing your act.
On the side note, it leaves her a hint of excitement and connection knowing both of you have something in common, but it does not last long as hiding one’s pain also hurts her. Like the intense bruise on her wrist after the incident with the reporter that you missed.
“Yoona-yah, hurry up! We have to go” Jiwoo brings back Sullyoon back to earth seeing her standing far from the pack. “Wait up, I’m coming” Sullyoon take one last glance towards the van but this time from afar both of your gazes met as you step out of the van. Both of you stares into one another. Even though her sensory experience is being occupied by the intense swelling of her bruise, Sullyoon still able to shows you her toothy smile and crescent shape eye. Her smile really captivates you that you almost didn’t notice she’s waving at you lightly with her right hand. You sheepishly wave back with an equal smile but grasp something is off with her overall condition.
A sigh of relief as you see her back to her usually demeanour as that what you assumed, she’s a strong girl given a heavy responsibility to hold such beauty in this thorny world. As she turns back to catch up to her member, you furrowed your brows in confusion catching her conspicuously awkward movement. Seeing her stop mid-way to check on something. Witnessing her grasping onto her left wrist with her other hand before disappearing into the cluster of tents. You may haven’t had a meal for today, but your gut’s instinct was stronger than usual after what you had just witnessed.
You grab available med kit and rush to their tent. Despite not being fond of your overthinking traits, but it mads you think she’s been affected by the earlier incident in some way. You ran through manifold rows of tent from various group and almost missing their designated tent. Once you parted the curtain, at your dismay the members weren’t there. Checking the sign pasted outside maybe you could've gone to the wrong tent. “They already went on stage” You heard a voice beside you, seeing Manager Unnie sitting on a plastic, focused on her phone,
Without much thought, you make a beeline straight to the main stage while slither your way avoiding bystander staff. Then you found yourself by the foot of the stair leading up to the stage, since it was an outdoor concert so there are a lot of deployable stage light rigged on some beam and trusses. From there you saw the members getting ready for rehearsal, doing some stretching and vocal warm-up. Adding humorous element to the scene, Haewon poking Lily by the waist while she trying to do vocal warm-ups.
You scanned through the set while walking up the stage’s side stair and your eyes land on the person you're looking for, Sullyoon. She's doing her stretches while she's entering her pensive mode staring into the horizon. One of her few habits you happen to see quite often throughout the years, she always shies her face away when you caught her pondering her mind for too long. But for today, I don’t think it’s the case.
Since she stands close to the steps, the clanking sound of metal stairs from your footing makes her turn her head around and stumble upon seeing you with a med kit by your side. She was a bit startled by your unexpected presence and the sight of the med kit only making her anxious about what's going to happen next. From your perspective, her demeanour changes from her usual ethereal looking beauty to a timid little girl after she’s been caught red handed.
You motion her to come here before you are rummaging through the med kit searching for an ointment and a bandage and she hesitantly obliged. As she stands in front of you fidgetingly, you signal her to give her left hand. She hesitantly places her hand on top of your right palm. As you gently twist her wrist to see the damage, horror came down to you as the bruise patch was quite sizeable with deep colour. Being a manager, acquiring basic dermatology is essential, your concerned only tripled knowing it’s not what you consider a normal bruise but a severe one. After having a knowledge of her injury, you ruffle your hair in frustration, now you wished you had let your intrusive thought of busted the reporter’s nose to extinguish your wrath.
With wide eye you look up from the bruise to her eyes to make eye contact. As if telling her telepathically how serious the injury is, and she is hiding it, but she avoids the mutual glance and averted her eyesight to the ground waiting anxiously for scolding from you. But you are more obliged to attend her injury as it’s a serious one.
“ Does it hurt?” you whisper softly while maintaining your gaze on her. With both of your hand on her left wrist, positioned both thumbs on the bruise mark, just a mere graze of your thumb on her skin causing her to wince in pain. You felt sympathy for her. It really reminds you when you had to endure endless throbbing sensation for weeks on your right thigh from slipping down small steps and not having a luxury of proper treatment. Since she's under meticulous care of their manager, she doesn't need to experience it.
“This is a lot more serious than I thought, you should head back to the tent for now” you comment while spreading some bruise-healing cream on her injury. Since haven't got any cold agent around, you opt to go for immediate treatment for her and wrapping bandage loosely around her wrist.
“Bae-yahh! Come here” you called Bae to come over and continued to inform that she will accompany her back to tent. Subsequently, the rest of the member also joined in as they heard you called Bae. As expected, everyone went bonkers upon hearing the news about Sullyoon getting hurt by the incident, Jiwoo being the sensitive one might make one confuse who’s the victim as she’s about to shed some tears. Lily on the other hand being the sweetest she is, giving Sullyoon a patting at the back and lean her head onto Lily’s shoulder. Upon seeing the eldest giving affection towards to younger one, the rest of the member also joined the love surrounding Sullyoon, in contrast to you awkwardly trying to hold onto Sullyoon’s wrist as you fully aware of how excruciating having a bruise and severe one at that.
Being an Idol in a country that's known for it makes up the competitive nature so any schedule must move on. Meanwhile, you asked Bae escort Sullyoon back to their tent carefully. You advised Bae to hold Sullyoon arm closely leveled to heart level to scale down swelling rate. Conversely, you picked up their pre-ordered meals for tonight from a nearby diner run by a lovely ahjumma (Aunty). Unintentionally, it was the restaurant you used to visit frequently when around the area. And you remind yourself to also buy Sullyoon a sling and a cooling agent pack.
“That's quite a big order you got there, what's the occasion?” You were a bit jolted overhearing a voice close to you as you were patting your attire for your wallet at the counter to pay. You saw a familiar figure with some partially white hair with back slightly hunch due to old age, the restaurant owner. “It's for my sisters” you sheepishly smile back at her, I guess you could consider the members as your little sister knowing how close you guys’ bond together. You are dumbfounded knowing your mind can clearly vision where exactly you left your wallet but to only forget you left it back at the tent.
“Don't worry, the meals are on the house” the old women uttered makes you feel guilty, exchanging your forgetfulness for a free meal, such an unfair trade. “You boys must work relentlessly these days, let me tell you…. don’t overdo it like my deceased son” those final three words meant a thousand sweat and tears both from the son and his mother. You grow up without much preference of your parents other than countless cut and bruises as a remembrance of them and final memory of news about their car accident.
The only driving force that’s keeping you moving is those who are under your care. Sometimes you can be selfless to keep other in check and not worry about yourself but hearing Ahjumma’s words make you rethink on how you would approach the future. You really should take care of yourself better, ending your life accidentally by your own hands is not something you want to imagine of your loved one crying over your passing.
Your heart ached just from picturing them tears up. Your only little sister, your best friends, naughty ahjussi that helps you out of the rut, Nmixx member, Jiwoo, Kyujin, Haewon, Lily, Bae………. Yoona.
*Lub-dub Lub dub, “How does pronouncing a name can make my heart beating so fast?” you voice out internally and you opened your eyes recalling yourself you are still in the restaurant. Both pair of eyes from the cashier and Ahjumma gave you a confused look. To not make your face even redder, you bid them farewell and pick up the meals. As soon as you walked out, you facepalm yourself replaying the moment that’s just happened.
Driving back to Ajou University was never a difficult task but the lingering feeling both coming from the mind and stomach make it so. You chose to think the discomfort coming from your stomach is because of you haven’t had any proper meals aside from snack bar so you felt relief that it doesn’t have anything to do from those earlier thoughts back at the diner. But your minds are playing tricks on you, “Why am I keep thinking of her?” You shake your head every once in a while, but it doesn’t go. It only replaying memories of her but in different scenario. “Manager-nim where is my blanket?”, “Manager-nim, can you help me open this up? “, “Manager Oppa, how does Yoona look?” Haewon asking you about Sullyoon’s dress.
You are about to go crazy with this ridiculous thought repeating every instance of her with you. Fortunately, your mind has more tricks up its sleeves. Constructing a scene beyond your experience. The mind started its magic, and you can see Sullyoon is skip walking towards you with both her hands placed behind her. You think of moving out of the way, but you feel your body is stuck in place. Neither your legs nor your hands can be move. As she about to close the distance, you closed your eyes preparing for a head on collision. But then, you felt both of your hands were held by a set of soft and delicate finger. You opened your eyes to assess the situation and you were displayed by the closeness of her profile. You were charmed instantly, never ever have you gotten this up-close inspecting her allurement. You were aware of her beauty, but this only makes you to not avert your eyes away from her. As you had fully submit to your mind’s desire thinking this is the climax, but your mind knows what you truly wished for. Sullyoon tenderly squeezed your hands and say your utmost desire “Call me Yoona…………. Y/N Oppa”.
You screamed at the top of your lungs not as a figure of speech but literally, so loud that pedestrians walking by look at your van. Thankfully, with black tinted window and you stopped at the traffic light unconsciously, you once again saved face from embarrassment. To make it worst, your throat went sore and dry, it really starting to sting when you try to make a sound. You stopped by a convenience store to buy some cold packs and a sling as you nearly forgetting the most important matter.
Only couple of turns left, you arrived again at the parking lot of Ajou outdoor theatre. Not forgetting their meals in hand and post purchase item. A huff of exhaustion escapes you as you walked down the familiar path toward Nmixx’s tent. With your mind more focused than before to end the day on a good note, you settled on the improvised schedule in your head as they will have dinner here and end the day off with a radio show.
As you parted the tent’s fabric to enter, you saw the girls already finished their rehearsal and waited. “Meals are here” as you placed it down on the nearby table. “What's it, oppa?” Kyujin being the first scavenging through the plastic.
“It's Bibimbap (White rice topped with diverse toppings)” you answered while looking around where did you place your wallet. You swear you put it on top of the table. Searching around the tent, ducking under the seat, maybe it slips out of the tent, just a mere thought filled your mind with dread. With the enjoyment atmosphere from the members ensued in the background over a homemade meal, you noticed two members were absence. You reckon they went to the washroom.
You headed outside to check if your instinct were true. You spotted Bae and Sullyoon headed your way from a potentially washroom. Bae was holding onto something while leisurely maintaining Sullyoon’s wrist at heart level but what's intrigued you was both were looking at it so intently like solving a puzzle. “Where did you guys go?” You questioned them insensitively with arm crossed and raised eyebrow as you eyed the very familiar item in their hands.
“Oh, Oppa is here” Bae was the first to notice your presence and followed by Sullyoon with a slight stun perceiving your existence. Bae are oblivious on how searing Sullyoon’s wound is while holding onto your lost wallet, you can only let out unenthused snicker. “Oppa, who’s this?” Bae extended her arm out showing the inside of your wallet while being clueless of her intrusion of privacy, casually asking you who is the younger girl in the picture. “Little sister” responding with smirk, your peripherical vision detect a drastic change of Sullyoon expression from a stern look to a beaming smile. Unbeknownst to you, in the depths of her heart was a hopeless and resentful devotion upon seeing the picture in your wallet illustrating a girl figure where you wrapped your arms around her shoulder. Never once in her life being this thrilled upon hearing some news, like Christmas comes early, there’s still possibility of her uttermost wish to be granted.
“Foods is here too” Bae lightly throws the wallet up in the air leaving Sullyoon catching and grasping onto the contraband. Bae’s action spooked you a bit, it was not about seizing the wallet but the moment she lets go of her hold onto Sullyoon’s wrist got your instinct kicked in quickly holding on to her wrist. You stared menacingly in the direction of where Bae’s headed. Observing Sullyoon getting left out by Bae only adding more evident to her selfless personality. You bet Sullyoon tell Bae off to not worry about her to much as you just ordered Bae to keep watched on Sullyoon.
“Manager-nim……. your hand” Sullyoon shyly tug your sleeve to regain your attention, as you regain focused, oblivious that you unintentionally holding her hand after you noticed her response. You swiftly retrieved your wallet from her hand as you commanded her to hold her wrist with her other hand to lessen her injury. Although, this is not the first time she held your hand, it always sends butterfly in her guts. The major size difference between hers and yours coloured her cheeks red acknowledging that fact that it could easily wrap your hands arounds hers easily. The rough and sturdy exterior of your hand cradling her tender and delicate palm only contributed to her sensory overload.
With the minor mishap out of the way, you swung your sling bag around to the front to search for the sling you just bought earlier. “Here, put this on” you hand her the sling, and she hesitates, unsure about wearing it. “Manager-nim……. I don’t think I need this, it’s only a bruise” she mildly protests, unable to keep eye contact with you. You take the sling off her palm and do it your own way. You politely request her to lift her left arm to put the sling on, it was done in an instant. But the one on the receiving end was flushed to oblivion, having your arm nearly wrapping her around, your warm breath tingling her ear as you try to connect the slings end. Your hand slightly brushes her hair sending shiver down her spine. A hint of your perfume mixed with your natural scent initiate a malware in her mind.
You take a step back, appreciating your work. “Look, doesn’t take long at all to wear” feeling a bit proud of yourself, not aware what kind of blushing mess you made Sullyoon as she stared down to the ground hiding her face with her hair flow with the gravity. Worried slowly overcomes you upon seeing her current form, is she, sick? Does she really do not want to wear the sling? You leaned in to properly judge the situation. “Are you sick? your face redder than usually” you mutter to yourself, but you are not the only who heard it considering both of your face are inches away. Like any typical method to determine whether one has a fever, using the back of your hand will do the trick. You gently sweep her fringe aside and place the back of your hand against her forehead. A burning sensation started to take its place into your hand.
“Manager-nim stop it!!!!” Sullyoon let out a shriek of embarrassment with fist clench by her side. You raised your hand in defends from any potential blow. You peek between your fingers taking in a sight of fully flushed Sullyoon with an annoyed expression towards you. “Ehem ahhh G-Go eat up inside, there’s bibimbap ready” you stutter and nod tensely towards the tent inside, avoiding eye contact with her after what just happened. Sullyoon stomped off into the tent leaving you scratching your head in confusion.
Brushing the thought aside, you make your way into the tent. Everyone already munching on their respective bowl of bibimbap. “Oppa, ant chu eaching?” Jiwoo mumbled; her mouth filled with rice. “I will, just have to update the company our current status” you replied to Jiwoo detecting the scene Lily slapping her hand for talking with mouthful out of the corner of your eye as you whipped out your phone. Their sibling dynamic proving they are more than just worker but more like a family. You typed away on your phone all the details to inform about Sullyoon’s injury. “Sullyoon-ah, I need to take picture of your injury for proof” calling out her name without honorific giving her goosebumps essentially pronouncing her full name, Seol Yoona. Luckily, you proceed getting the proof without causing another scene.
“How long does she have to wear it?” Haewon posed a question piqued everyone attention. As soon you submit the report, you turned and faced Haewon before answering. “At most 3 weeks if you casually only applying balm on it, but at short as 1 week if it’s under attentive care like wearing a sling, healthy diet, gentle exercise and avoid re-injury will suffice. “It’s going to be a hassle wearing that around, how the media will react if she wears that in public?” everyone focuses on the one commenting, Manager unnie. Hands on your chin, you reflect on your assistant point of view. “Hmmmmmm” you hummed in contemplation as you walk around the space with everyone anticipating your answers.
You stopped your track standing in front of Sullyoon. “Sullyoon-shi, does your hand feel pain when you move your arms around” almost in interrogating tone you question her. “A bit but I feel it is more convenience to- Ahhhhh” sharp pain shot through her joint as Kyujin were sitting beside her raising her knee to scratch her ankles inadvertently hitting Sullyoon’s arm. “Oh My God Sullyoon! Unnie, Are you okay! I’m Sorry!” she freaks out getting everyone on their feet. Promptly grabbing the cold pack, you went and place it onto her affected area and proceed to check-up on her. Your observation conclude that her breathing gets heavier, seeming that her body is trying to cope the sudden twist on her swollen wrist. Beads of sweat started forming on her face
Upon seeing Sullyoon condition worsened, you instantly act voicing out your game plan. “I will drop you guys off at the radio station then I will take Sullyoon to the nearby clinic” everyone nods in agreement. The reason for your urgency was because Seoul traffic gets packed during the dusk hour. By looking at Sullyoon’s current state, it’s only matter of time she will lose consciousness from enduring overbearing pain. “I will get the van closer; you guys steadily assist Sullyoon to the van” you tried to sound as calm as possible despite the critical tension to prevent any mishap occur along the way. You are not in this alone, anyone mistake will hold accountable.
You hasten your movement towards the van and with quick manoeuvre you parked it close enough for them catch up. You grimace at a sight of Sullyoon limping with her arm draping over Bae’s shoulder. With everyone buckled up, you put pedal to the metal heading towards the designated location. “Manager-unnie, can you book a VIP health check-ups at a nearby hospital?” With manager unnie doing her part, conversely you pick up steady pace on the road while not forgetting others safety. Suddenly, the situation in front of you caught your breath viewing a massive traffic jam. “Will we make it in time Oppa?” you imagine Haewon sticking her head out behind the sits. You looked closely through the rear mirror, a sigh of relief upon seeing Sullyoon’s breathing pattern has steadied. You saw a glimpse of her eyes slightly opened and nods in assurance at you that she’s doing okay.
“Everything will be under control, believe me” comforting those under you in critical moment what makes you stand out from others. Ironically, you may construct deep attachment easily with this attribute, but you will have a hard time to let go of that person. Going back to the matter at hand, you reroute your path finding alternative for better chance of arriving early as progressing slowly is better than stuck in a never-ending traffic. Even with the situation toned down, you are still concerned about Sullyoon’s wellbeing and it’s your top priority for now.
Fortunately, with 15 minutes to spare. Everyone disembarks from the van leaving Sullyoon in your custody and splitting our respective path. “See you guys in a bit after I check-up on Sullyoon at the hospital” you bid them farewell through the window and off you went. You take a glance at the rear mirror, you saw Sullyoon soundly asleep like a baby koala latching onto its mother. Seeing her in slumber state only shows how straining the pain is putting onto her mentally and physically.
Upon arriving at Seoul National University Hospital parking space, you looked around you to determine how crowded it is. It’s a given as it’s on national level public service. It wouldn’t be pleasant walking around with an idol by your side. You looked behind your seat, Sullyoon is still sleeping. You felt guilty to wake her up, but you must for the sake of her health. You jumped out from the driver’s seat and slide the door open. The heavy sound of the sliding door woke her up randomly, she looks over her shoulder scratching her eyes.
You proceed to put her cap and mask on to prepare for check-up. You wear your sneaky outfit with a mask and the same black cap on, even though you are only a mere manager, you don’t want to risk of being caught. There’s been multiple occasions of you accidentally inside of Nmixx photos taken by fan, it wouldn’t be surprising if anyone recognize you. The walk to the receptionist was a bit of a hassle as Sullyoon still half-awake from her nap while clutching onto your arm. The reservation registration was done quick with only needing to post your assistant name and trudge to meet up with private medical officer in a consultation room. “Manager-nim, I want to take a nap” you didn’t complain much despite you basically support half of her weight as she essentially leaning onto you with her head rest on your shoulder.
Slowly but surely, you make your way crossing the doorway. “Reservation under Mrs Kim” you state your assistant’s name to the doctor inside for customer identification. You explain her condition to the doctor while she’s still drowsy with her head lean on your shoulder. The doctor instructs you to seat Sullyoon upright in the designated chair. The doctor begins doing his job and start removing Sullyoon’s sling. You were occasionally answering questions thrown out by the doctor as he keeps on his progress. How does she get the bruise? What are the first air treatment that you give her? Did you apply ice pack on it? And you also add that her bruise might be getting worse as there was a small mishap of twisting the joint.
The doctor clarifies more about her bruise severity. The more you understand her condition, the more you treat her with empathy. He highlights the extreme discomfort from the swollen bruise can put heavy stress on the patient’s mind. This justify the reason Sullyoon is drowsy because she’s exhausted put up with the pain. “Manager-nim….”she looks up at you, her lips slightly protruding and her sleepy eyes pleading, as she leans her head against your torso.
“Who is she to you? Your girlfriend?” the doctor asks but shrugged it off. The doctor interrogates you in the meantime he’s spreading arnica gel onto her bruise. You go for simple answer “Idol and manager” as his question got you acting on high alert. You heard light chuckle from the doctor “Don’t worry sir, our customer’s privacy is our priority” as he just finished wrapping up Sullyoon’s arm. You are amused by the doctor sense of humour and were reminded to take medication at the reception.
Luck was in your favoured, you felt grateful things went smoothly as you step into you van with Sullyoon taking the passenger seat beside you. A quick glance at your wristwatch telling you got ample time to even send Sullyoon back dorm before getting the other members back at the radio station. Without wasting a single second, you head straight to their dorm.
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There’s nothing more enjoyable than driving on a road in which the traffic has thinned out. Saving you more time to grab a bite as you are starting to feel the spike poking your abdomen. As you put the van to a halt in front of Nmixx dormitory, you hear Sullyoon’s yawn and stretch wide awake. “Good morning” you jokingly said to her. She understood the assignment and greeted you back with a yawn, in which you find it cute because of how down to earth she’s in spite of how ethereal she can be.
“It’s time to go to bed, I will need to get back to fetch the member” you utter with a giggle seeing her abrupt aegyo refusing your idea to go to sleep. She whines with a subtle pout; you are about to go crazy with her unexpected adorableness. But at her core, she feels the most comfortable around you just right after you earnestly taking care of her.
You disregard all her cute attacks and carry on bringing her belongings. You hoped and wished everything unfolded as intended, well it did but not the way you least expected. With her bags in hand and Sullyoon clinging onto your arm looking up to you in admiration, you aren’t complaining but this really shouldn’t be happening as you stand still waiting for the elevator.
“Sullyoona-yah, can you get the keycard” you are not falling for her doe eyes, but at least she follows your order. You started to think is this what you called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? You don’t remember reading an article stating being clinging was part of the disorder. You take your shoes off, lead the way to their living room. With your eyes squint to resist her charm, you command her prepare for bed and go to sleep but she got better scheme to do. “Manager-nim, want to have ramyeon with me?” she requests cutely.
“Naah, I must go back at get your other members, okay? Plus, I’m not hung-” a growling sound stops disrupt you. Your eyes went wide averting towards your stomach. To make matter worst, you heard a giggle right behind you and you don’t want a whole week having the members replaying the same stories on how loud your stomach growl after being offer have ramyeon. You can’t be too certain Sullyoon be able to keep her mouth shut, she will possess the best sleep of her life reimagine this moment with you.
At last, you stayed for ramyeon with Sullyoon in the living room. “Dig in manager-nim” you side-eyed her as you scanned for potential hidden trick up her sleeve but instead you examined her to be going back to her usual self. Despite her inviting for ramyeon, you did all the cooking right at the coffee table supposedly since she got one hand on hold by a sling. You grab two set of chopstick and bowls, serving her one and one for your hungry belly.
“Jal meokkesseumnida (I will eat well)” both of you said in unison before dig in your respective bowl of ramyeon. You hummed in satisfaction savouring the tasty goodness of ramyeon. It wouldn’t satisfy your hunger fully, but it will enough for now. You both enjoyed your ramyeon in silent, but Sullyoon was the first to break it. “Manager-nim…. why are you always so nice to me?” you are in the middle of your last slurp, but her question made you stop and look at her baffled. You swallowed the last strain of ramyeon and reply to her answer defensively “What do you mean? I treat everyone equally”. Sullyoon elaborate more by adding more details proving her claim. She revealed that her member telling her that they see you treat her a little bit better and to illustrate her points clearer, even she and her other members agree that you can telepathically understand Sullyoon better than anyone else, as if you read her thoroughly. She even lay out scenarios where you read her like a book, the member say that they must tell you exactly what they want then you will bring it to them, Sullyoon on the other hand just by reading her expression and body gesture you as if able to decipher what she needs.
You were left in awestruck by how detailed her accusation is towards you. Your brain couldn’t be able to construct a legitimate excuse to defend yourself as everything that she said was accurate to you. With the amount of evidence essentially exposing you, you might as well be transparent to her and explain your whole side of the stories.
“Look Sullyoon, with all the evidence you lay out to me, you could say I’m biased, I’m not trying to refute that claim because from your guy’s point of view it looks like I’m favouring you”. You accentuate your word carefully as to avoid misunderstanding. You continue your clarification by expressing that Sullyoon looks the most vulnerable out of all the members. You even suggest that she’s unable to open-up to you for the first 3 months of you being their manager. Of course, it would imply that you must somehow adapt to each member on how they supposed to be treated. You realized that you are going off track a little bit too much about defending yourself as you started to see Sullyoon eyes starting to get watery.
Before anything going too out of hand, you grab and grasp her right hand tenderly with both of your hand and reassure her about your stance that she’s not a burden nor a cause of unfair treatment towards her members. “Actually Yoona-yah. Whenever I see you, you remind me of myself back then, shy and timid. You can be hesitant at times, but I know you are doing your best to keep up with the world. I know how exhausting it is to take every burden on your shoulder alone. That’s why I’ll take extra measure to assist you. Don’t compare yourself with other members, you will have your time to shine. Other member like Haewon, I know she will do well on her own in a long run but you, Yoona-yah you just need a little more time and care to build yourself up so you can be on par with others.”
You are in deep stare into her eye’s orb, the tears stream down her cheek almost went unnoticed. You were startle by her sobbing tears that you hand subconsciously wipe her tears with your thumb. “Don’t cry Yoona-yah, Aigoo you are big baby girl aren’t you” you smirk while wiping the remaining tears of comfort.
Cleaning up the dishes as you go, you are flabbergasted that you had to tuck Sullyoon to bed. “Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite” she lightly punches you on the shoulder for treating her like a kid. Well in fact that’s how you view her, a kid who was thrown into society to meet its standard. Well, you once being one of those kids and you don’t want youngsters to suffer the insufferable. Before you turn back, you heard her mutter something. “Do you say something?” you questioned but she only shakes her head. You bid her good night and went straight to the exit.
As the sound of the dorm’s door being locked on the outside, Sullyoon’s heart was racing millions of miles an hour. She whispers to herself something she wished you had heard “Oppa, you paboya (idiot)…………Saranghae (I love you)”.
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You take a deep breath to awaken your senses back. You thought that was a good way to end your day, but you nearly forget about the other members. Your stay with Sullyoon went a bit too late. So, you hoped that you when you arrived at the radio station, they wouldn’t be questioning your delayed arrival. Without wasting any more time, you drive back to the radio station to pick up the girls.
“ Yahhh Oppa, why are you late?” Bae being the first out of the station is asking you sulkily. You pick your own ears to check if it’s still intact due to her loud voice, Bae’s voice being the most obnoxious one neglected the fact that you almost thought she’s the most normal one out of the six member. But you grow to accept her later on. You decided to ignore her completely and open the door for other members as they walk past her.
With everyone on board, you stroll away down under the night sky of Seoul. “Oppa, why did you pick us up so late?” you sigh in defeat as another one asking you the same question, Haewon peaking her head from her seat. But this time, you answer them as it will only make it even more shady if you stayed silent “I had ramyeon before I left Sullyoon before picking you guys up”. Your anxious mind already predicts the subsequent question after you answered, so you gulp your saliva and willingly admit your fate. “Ouh getting TMI (too much information) from oppa, I was expecting you to say the medical check-up was taking too long.” Haewon said, her voice trails with disbelief . Kyujin follow up with an unexpected question “So you did have ramyeon with Sullyoon?”. The two witty member’s comments had everyone bursting into laughter upon catching you in the act.
Your face went bright red getting fully exposed by the members. You wouldn’t have a calmly ride back to their dorm. You sensed that there’s something going on among the members like a gossip talk among them. You would like to give it more though, but you already fed up with the amount of catastrophe you had to put up today. But your guts unable to detect the fact that there’s a rivalry between who will get your heart, you did not notice Bae being the only one who’s not amused by Kyujin and Haewon act on you as she is saddened by a new revelation about you and Sullyoon.
With everyone going back to their respective resting nest, finally it’s your turn to went back home. Since tomorrow is Nmixx day off, that’s also means your time to compensate lack of sleep on the weekdays. As soon as you step inside your apartment, you waste no time slamming face first into your bed. The bed quickly sucks up your tired body and off to slumber world you go.
The sound of your phone ringing for hours forcing you to wake up. As you squint your eyes to see who’s the caller, it shows on the dialer “Manager-Unnie”. You mutter to yourself “Who the heck would call someone this early”. “Yahhhhh! Y/N -shii, don’t you get my message? Why aren’t you here yet?” and immediately she hungs up the calls. You are puzzled by the unexpected morning scenario, but as soon as you see your phone messenger app was filled with half a thousand unread messages. You are still unaware that one tap of a button to the messenger app would turn your life around completely.
The app was opened, and you still haven’t grasped on what’s going on, you thought maybe just a scammer getting your phone number and spam the heck out of you, you wouldn’t make a deal out of it. You went to Manager-Unnie contact list to check her message. The first message was not a greeting but a news headline link. You starting to feel uncomfortable seeing the link has disturbing wording especially it’s spelling out the group you are taking care of. Adding more horror to you, the picture blurred somewhat showing familiarity about the recent place you have been yesterday.
You tapped on the link, it leads you to Naver News website, as the website starting load its content. Your eyes went wide upon seeing the big red headline saying “NMIXX Male Manager Hurts NMIXX’Fan who’s A Reporter”. Just by reading the main headline, you went to your browser app and see the news feed are filled with your entitled name, “NMIXX Manager” across the screen. You make a call to manager-unnie to analyse the situation. “Palli wah (quick), it would be easier if we discussed this back at the office” She hanged up on you again.
You are frustrated to death waking up into this hell hole, you just want to suffocate yourself with your pillow. Throw you pillow aside, you stared into your ceiling, steadily digesting the uproar you had woken up to. Soon, your breath becoming more stable, and you went to your bathroom to fully wake you up with a splash of cold water shivering your senses to wake. A swig of water cleansing your through, comb your hair to look presentable, donning your jacket and you are ready to face the media allegation.
With van key in hand, you are set to go but you make a quick stop at Ahjussi’s store. “Isn’t today your day off?’ Ahjussi question and pause his daily sweep down the street. “Got an emergency matter to deal with” Ahjussi bid you safe trip before you heading straight to the company.
Cutting to the chase, you are currently running through the company’s corridor making a beeline for the company meeting room. You almost slipped trying to grab a hold of the room door handle. Your stomach immediately sucked in upon everyone arrival making the tension atmosphere tighten. Expressionless and poker face were the only option for whoever enter this room. All higher up who are under Nmixx management are there too including the members, but you don’t spot Sullyoon anywhere. Maybe she went to the bathroom. You tried to squeeze in to take a seat vacant near the girls and whisper to them about Sullyoon whereabout. “She back at the dorm recovering” manager-unnie respond coldly, not even staring at your way.
You felt like you are missing a memo. Surely, it’s just some misleading article. Just pay the whoever posted the article to take it down, right? Thud! You are jolted by the loud hitting sound at the far side of the room and only having you swallowing your saliva upon acknowledging the presence of the CEO himself. The sound of him flaring his nostrils only making you tremble down to the core and unexpectedly he slides a tablet down the tabletop straight to you. The tablet almost slides off, but you managed to catch it. The CEO recognized how clueless you are upon entering the room, not well informed how serious this issue is.
You tried to be friendly by smiling and nodding at the CEO that you will go ahead look what the tablet screen shows. You saw the familiar headline back at your apartment but as you scrolled more into the article, more dread enveloping your skin. The details of what you missed what got you quivering your legs. You were bewildered by how freaking clever they twist the narrative just from a clip that didn’t do you justice. They only add the part of the clip where grab a hold onto the reporter’s wrist.
That bastard reported makes up stories about how you push the reporter away a bit too harsh. He has the audacity to post his injury on the internet to make him the victim. The video cut making a villain impression of you portraying as a villain, saying unnecessary usage of hard force to push away fans and reporter, even there is a picture of you last night with Sullyoon getting medical check-up and adding description that you hurt the idol and make it seem like you try to silent the idol from voicing out their assault by giving them a treatment. They were never assaulted in the first place, now they put their attack and pinpoint it to you.
You voice out your opinion about this absurdity of the situation it is “Sajang-nim (CEO) this is all just altered stories making me look bad, I have never raised my hand on Nmixx member ever, and I- “. You were cut short as you the CEO interrupts you with a question “How did Sullyoon get hurt initially?” his clasped hand covering his face partially investigating you. You carry on explicate what happened beginning with everything going according to the schedule up until the period where it all happened, after the interview. You said Sullyoon was heading towards the van, but a random reporter grabs her wrist cruelly, so you had to interfere as you saw her getting hurt by the reporter.
You were sceptical, you thought you did great explain yourself to them, but you hear everyone in the room murmuring with each other. “Is that all?” question proposed by the CEO got you feeling agonizing, as he stands up from his seat and make his way to you, you tried to look as confident as possible not being hitched by his demeanour. “I’m opened for any possibility, even I would believe there’s an alien attending the interview yesterday. But…….” The CEO gave his insight on this matter, accumulating to your distress there’s a brief interval before he finished his sentence. “If there’s no evidence, there’s no persuasion” The CEO utter his last word.
You were taken aback by the unexpected turn of event. “Ouh Come on Sajang-nim, you guys just going to believe that bullshit of an article” you sound with clear hearing of everyone in the room. You turn to the members “You girls know me, right? We have been together ever since”, you know it very well that the members know you are innocence but seeing their horrified face only proving how powerless they are even if they spoke out the truth, the media had overpowered the truth once again.
You attempt to seek help from the occupants maybe there’s hope among the darkness “Hey, we can fix this together, we got thi-”. You look back to the sound of opening door, you saw a group of people with a dark blue uniform. One of the guys walk up to you with a handcuff “Mr, you are under arrest for assault. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law” prosecuting you by handcuffing both of your hands.
“Sajang-nim! hey Sajang-nim! what are you doing? Is this some sort of prank? Get off me! I’m not finished talking to the CEO” you squirm left and right unable to come to terms with reality as the policemen drag you out of the company’s building. You are then met with million flashes of camera shutter from dozens of reporters from difference mainstream news agency and plethora of mic shoved in front of you. “Did you hurt Nmixx member?”, “What grudge do you hold onto them?”, “Is it related to Jinni leaving”. Avoidance of camera shutter and mic was the only thing you do up until you step inside at the back seat of a cop car. From that point on, the future looks bleak.
Back at Nmixx dormitory, Sullyoon just woke up from her heart fluttering dream of you. She took it as a sign of good weekend, maybe she could even get you to spend time with her. But soon, her initial thought was replacing with questionable silent atmosphere of their dorm. She wonders where everyone went. Did they go to get grocery? She investigates every room, but no one was there. She went back to the living room and detect the sound of doors opening. She doesn’t suspect anything and saw her members returned from somewhere she isn’t aware off.
As she inspects closer to her member and grasp a situation from what it seems to be the members just arrived from a crime scene. Some have dark spot under their eyes, some have tears spot visible. She inquired about what happened this morning. Upon hearing the news, she thought her aching sharp pain on her wrist is the most painful experienced but that turns out to false after what she just heard from the members. Just a mere thought of not being able to see you again shattered her heart to million pieces. Tears starting to shed to thousands off her eyes. She would gladly trade her arm to be able to see you again.
She couldn’t had imagined she would wake up into this nightmare. She slams her affected wrist hard into the ground hoping to wake up from this unbearable nightmare but it only making her wheeping in pain and mourn over your disappearance even more. A total horror shot down upon their members faces as they immediately went towards Sullyoon to stop her from hurting herself. They couldn’t stand anymore seeing their loved ones getting hurt after losing you and couldn’t be possible be her next.
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It’s been weeks since the article explode, with Nmixx’s manager arrest and their activity was halted after the controversy. And here you stand in the middle of your cell, staring out into the small opening separating you and the outside world. You would be lying if you couldn’t be any better since your arrest. Honestly, it turns out going a lot better than you expected. No need to deal with early traffic, countless paperwork signage, eyes blinded by paparazzi, and…...even free from controversy.
Life’s great in here but there’s lingering void in your heart that you are longing for, the feeling of loving someone, your little sister and the members that you leaved unintended. They are the only thing that you have left, Jiu; your little sister, Haewon, Kyujin, Jiwoo, Lily, Bae and your dearest Sullyoon. By now, you had truly accept your feelings for her, there’s no faking it anymore. *Bang-Bang-Bang- “Wake up sleepy head……you are free now” You are about to scream with anger when the guards interrupt your daydreaming, but the latter comment got you perplex.
No news, no message, not even a pigeon letter informing you about your released. With your former outfit on, the one clothing before you were dragged to jail. You stand cluelessly outside of the prison gate with no goal in mind. You thought of going back inside with now that you don’t have anywhere to go. On the verge of making the decision, you heard a honking noice. “Hey kid, need a ride?” that one pervy ahjussi from the convenience store is here to fetch you after your discharged.
While you and ahjussi strolled down the highway in his muscle car, you end the silence by inquiring him about your release. Ahjussi simply hand you his phone with an article already opened on the screen. “NMIXX’s Manager Was Never It, It Was The Reporter” you read the title word by word, not repeating the same mistake again like how you act cocky towards the CEO for missing the detail about the whole issue. Just right below the title, a display of a video playing a clip.
The clip basically displays how the incident played out from a different perspective. The video capture from the initial grab of Sullyoon wrist with a clear sign of the reporter pulling her wrist forcefully, up until the second you popped into frame interfering the scene showcasing the need of rough grab onto the reporter’s wrist. “Heheeheh, took them long enough to post the video” you let out a feeble laugh on how ridiculous that you shouldn’t have to serve your time in prison if this video went viral, but your realistic mindset brings you back with optimism. “It must be tough mentally for the user who recorded this to post the video” you mutter to yourself.
On top of that, there’s another clip that catches your attention as the thumbnail used was clearly shows Sullyoon’s face. As you tap onto the video, you’re in for a treat as the seconds progressing through the video. Your heart softens and turns into fragile glass witnessing the content displaying Sullyoon speaking the truth to the media.
It was clearly shown it was her own initiative knowing the low-quality recording. “Our manager-oppa actually……...he was never the one that was portrayed on the article. Ever since our debut, he always there for us through thick and thin. He can be selfless at times and still got his insecurity about taking care of people, but he is putting his effort at best……...” she proceeded to explain her whole side of the story supposedly being the most affected victim out of this tragedy. Until reaching the moment where you and she went to the hospital to seek medical attention to treat the injury origin from the earlier event. Adding more sorrowful setting in the video, it was self-evident that Sullyoon was stifling her tears wallowing the past for the sake shedding the truth to the world.
For the first time Sullyoon referring you as Oppa was one thing to think about. Her comforting words heals your self-doubting capabilities of managing them was another. The video’s sound cut off suddenly, marking the end of the video. You rub out your eyes to dry out the tears. “Have you got any place to visit?” he probed you for answers. You choose to visit your little sister, Jiu.
Jiu, being one of those people that you are truly cherishes. But unfortunately, she got chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). You aren’t an intellectual in diseases but after reading a few articles of it. You are only saddened by it fully understand how unfortunate Jiu’s condition is. Here is the analogy, normally you’re tired, you take a rest, you got better but for these patients they get tired, they take a rest, and they are still tired. Most hurting part about it, Jiu’s smile will always be carved on her face whenever you visited her.
The journey to the hospital where your sister hospitalised was quiet, with you sitting silently contemplating your current situation. The pervy ahjussi was only a nickname for him from the first impression of him. When you first moved into your current apartment now, as you open the door, the sight of him ducking with a bra attached to his face makes a terror out of you. It was a pain in the arse for him to explain himself, but it got solved soon later. Apparently, he was the landlord wanting to check the water pump to your apartment but still that doesn’t explain the bra part.
Soon after knowing him even more, he doesn’t appear to be of what your first impression thinks of him. Yes, he’s the one been there for you at your lowest, betrayed by your fake friends, the genuine one taking his own way to the after world, news of your sister had to be transferred to another hospital due to the lack of service of the former hospital as your sister illness getting more severe. Everything went downhill for that whole week.
It was raining that day; you embrace the coldness of rainwater soaking you in waiting hypothermia to put a full stop of your life voyage. It all change when the drunk ahjussi throwing tantrum you to drink with him because he needs a drinking buddy. You got more confused at a drunk a person taking walk outside in the rain, being drunk should be enough reason to. Entering a new day, you regret drinking with ahjussi as you got a massive hangover. Both of you went to their respective toilet bowl and a sink to ease up the hangover. Who would have known a middle-aged man acting childish to annoy you would extend your lifeline.
Reminiscing the past got you company for the whole car ride. Upon arriving, you inform the receptionist about your presence before strolling down to her room. You asked ahjussi beforehand to stop by a store to buy some flowers and her favourite snack, tteokbokki.
As you look through the glass door of her room, you spot a figure that’s not matching with any of your possible ideas. Wears a black hoodie with a black cap on. Doesn’t look like a nurse here. You don’t remember having an extra sibling or relative. Is it Jiu’s friends? She never tells you about them, maybe she a got a new one during your time in prison? You set the final thought as the possible answer. But you are opened for any possibilities as you heighten your alertness as there’s couldn’t be possible, she got herself a boyfriends
You slide the door opened, attracting all occupant’s attention to you. As Jiu’s eyes set to you, she waved cheerly to you transitioning your facial expression from serious to friendly. Jiu was informed earlier about your visit by the nurse through Ahjussi contact. You saw the mysterious figure turn his face to see whom Jiu’s waving to, but he quickly turns back. You catch a glimpse of his side profile but can’t construct an image who might this be.
“Who is this Jiu-yah?” you inquire Jiu while you cautiously glance at the unknown man’s face, but the man keeps averting his face from you. “She’s been visiting me while you were serving time” you look at Jiu with question mark planted on your face. “She?’ you wide eyed you sister and emphasized the word pronunciation intricately upon this new disclosure. “Yoona-yah, don’t be shy, this is my brother” Jiu nudge Sullyoon’s shoulder a bit gesturing her to face you properly.
“Anyeonghaseyo manager-nim” Sullyoon lightly bow in courtesy and weakly smiled at you after she pulls down her hoodie. You got millions of questions running in your heads upon seeing Sullyoon visiting your sister
After a solid hour of connecting the dots, finally everyone is on the same page. Clearly during your imprisonment, Sullyoon decided to visit your sister as she feels like it’s a right thing to do. You are not the only one having guilt rotting you alive, Sullyoon also felt the same way towards your sister especially, having your loved one wrongly accuse because one’s unable to do anything in their power to save them. With the help of manager-unnie, she could track where your sister hospitalised.
Ever since then, Sullyoon and Jiu were so in tune together, even if it’s only a couple of visits but every meeting mends her heart as she expressed out to Jiu like you were in front of her. While Nmixx schedule suspended and everyone were so stressed handling the issue, Sullyoon able to find tranquillity in the midst of this controversy by visiting Jiu in her free time. Every time Sullyoon visit your sister, she talks a lot about you, in which you aren’t conscious about. Jiu has a knack for digging through people emotion, mind controlling everyone to spill a little too much information. She kind of have a plan as she heard you are going to visit her at the same time with Sullyoon
“Oppa, what are you going to do now? you’re free” Jiu raise a question to you, unconsciously waking you up from staring a little too much to Sullyoon, hitting you back to reality now that you are yet again starting from zero. Sullyoon look at you with anticipation expecting an answer that align with what she hoped for. “I’m not too sure, probably check on Ahjussi about any job vacancy at his convenience store” you respond naively, earning a jab at your torso from Jiu. “What was that for?” you rub the area of Jiu’s jab quite shock by her random attack. “Just because” Jiu half-heartedly displays her fake smile with a scowling amber seeing your air-headed mindset. “Yoona-yah, you guys got a new manager?” Sullyoon shake head in denial.
In front of Jiu, presented two people who are unaware of their mutual affection. Jiu’s trying to play cupid with you two but the way you react mindlessly to the question earlier, makes her sighing with hopeless. “Alright then, I need to go to the toilet, so I don’t think I need to see you guys off, Is that alright?” Jiu clap her hand indicating you and Sullyoon can leave. She hopes that you guys can work this off on your own.
As the three of you walk out, “Bye guys” Jiu bid off cutely before turning around going the opposite way to the toilet. With both you and Sullyoon left alone, awkward atmosphere ensued. In your head, you amused how drastically energetic Jiu had been, you fully understand her condition as one can’t possibly exert themselves to much or they will be drained easily. Truthfully, having Sullyoon giving her occasional visit is good for her recovery in terms of emotional scale. Sullyoon on the other hand went haywire. She never thought she would see you this early after your imprisonment. Maybe at least she expected you to be freed from the charges but not this early after an anonymous video was uploaded online in which it clear out all of the injustice that had happened.
“Has your wrist fully healed yet?” your sudden question diverts her consciousness back, instantly making eye contact with you. You already know the answer as she’s now not constrained to a sling anymore, but you want to hear her soothing voice reply as it would put you more at ease. “It’s been only a week after I removed my sling, so far I can move my wrist around, even the bruise patch is gone” she showed you her wrist that’s been fully recovered returning her fair white skin.
Soon enough, both of you walk together mindlessly, cherishing each other company but reluctant to initiate a conversation. You look around you, empty and tranquil space of open-air area of the hospital encourage you to engage in a small talk with her. “How’s the members doing back at the dorm?” both of you converse with each other at a gentle pace, enjoying the moment. She calmly replies to you stating that the girls recover far better than expected after the incident. She goes on how the members cope with criticism and pressure from the media, reappearance of false accusation of the members kicking Jinni out of the group. There is some instances where Jiwoo was too scared to even go out of her room, locking herself up and many more countless nights crying, exhausting mentally by the insults and isolating themselves from the outside world. You regain solace again knowing the company doing their job rehabilitate the girls. Unluckily, you didn’t ask how she cope her problem considering she had cried countless night missing you so much.
“……. It was really a rough week, but I really wished someone was there to lend their shoulder when we are at our lowest” Sullyoon’s eyes are on you, she tries to push her luck to gauge your response, hoping it relates to you reuniting with the group again……. reuniting with her. You take a nervous deep breath, pretending to ignore her indirect comment towards you. You would be lying that you wouldn’t want to reconcile with them. In the matter of fact, you want to, you need to, but after listening of what the girls had gone through, you can’t fathom at the assumption of you retaking the position as their manager again without a promise that their safety is guaranteed. You done hurting people like how you have hurt your parent heart for being incompetent. Before you know it, nature had taken their lives before you can ask them for forgiveness.
You were so in dazed with your thought that you didn’t notice Sullyoon stop her track. As you feel an empty space right beside you, you look over your shoulder and see Sullyoon looking at you with a sulk as if she’s saying you are ignoring her. You grin, reliving the image of Sullyoon that you used to love but it’s time to let her go. You walk back to her in gentle pace. And as you stand in front of her, you patted her head and say “Yoona-yah………it’s okay, you can take care of yourself now”.
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5 years after.
“Sullyoon-sunbaenim (senior), how did you guy able to break the 7-year curse? and still maintained as a 6-membered group, and what makes you guys want to renew your contract?” Sullyoon lightly chuckle, seeing her junior getting nudge by her co-partner for asking to many questions in a single sentence. “Well actually, it’s a long story so I hope I can make you guys understand in a brief explanation…….”. She promptly continues her speech act stating the group secret overcoming the curse which is deep understanding to one another. Deep bond comes from extensive communication among the members, they would bicker over little things but communicate through small misunderstanding built into big network of empathy to each other. Additional point, the group made noteworthy changes after the big conflict 5 years ago, Truly reinforced their capability to strive for the future. She ends her answer with a small bow.
Under the span of 5 years, a lot of unforgettable achievements accomplish by Nmixx. For instance, winning an award as The Song of the Year categories under The Mnet Asian Music Awards (MAMA) on their latest comeback and success continues with reaching new audience at the Billboard Music Awards and was proposed as one in the Top Duo/Group category. Focusing on more individual member, every member had done their solo debut. Presenting each respective member’s distinct colour including Sullyoon. Today marking her first solo comeback attaining her first win on Music Bank Show.
“Sullyoon-shii, after this magazine photoshoot, we will end with a fan sign event” Her private manager informed her for the upcoming schedule. She hummed in respond before he leaves her alone in the dressing room. She takes a quick moment looking at herself in the mirror tracing back of fond memories up until now. Ever since then, Sullyoon developed into more confident and independent women then she is. Her dedicated fan would discover that she’s becoming more charming than ever contrasting from her old wary and shy behaviour.
She got a call from her stone-cold manager “Sullyoon-shii, are you still in the dressing room? We need to move to the photoshoot set”. Sullyoon answer coldly before packing up her purse and finish her last two schedule. However, even if she did turn for the better, she prefers her old self, composed and reserved demeanour. In her member’s eyes, she’s still Sullyoon who opted to stay indoors and play games all day. Her on-stage and off-stage aura was so difference to the point where the members joke about her being another whole new person when she’s on-stage.
After the recovery of the tragedy 5 years ago, manager-unnie was appointed as the main manager and got them a new assistant to aid her side. The new assistant who is now her temporary private manager is supervising her schedule strictly and professionally. Sullyoon only had one last schedule to go through. “Huhhhhhhh, when will this end? I just want to go back home and sleep” Sullyoon whined in frustration leaning on her right shoulder on top of the vanity table. With eyes closed, she breath steadily trying to regain her composure after 10 hours schedule with barely any breaks.
As she opens her eyes, she sees her left wrist recalling her past memories. She sorts of wished that there’s more significant trace to preserve her memories of you. The only remembrance she had of you is her unforgettable wrist pain still fresh in her mind till this day. A ringing sound from across the room got her senses heightened, breaking her out of her mental imagery. She stands up slouching to get the phone call from her purse thrown to the opposite side of the room as she enters the room earlier in annoyance of her pack time schedule.
She takes out her phone and see the screen display the dialler’s name “Manager-unnie”. She takes the call calmly “Anyeong, what is it Unnie?”. “Ouh Yoona-yah, there’s some adjustment with manager time shift, it looks like my assistant had to went back to take care of other group itineraries, don’t worry we already got you covered on manager replacement, there will be a new manager on your way to take care of you starting today, Okay”. Before she can respond, manager-unnie hung up on her before she could ask for her new manager’s name. She sighs in disappointment but quickly regain her emotion at a thought of tricking the new manager to skip the last schedule so she can head straight back home early.
A knocking sound of the dressing room’s door can be heard signaling the new manager has arrived, “Wait for a moment” Sullyoon rapidly pack up her belongings to execute her plan. She maybe got a little too carried away of how thrilled this is going to work, taking advantage of newcomer for her own benefit. With her belongings in hand, she scrambles away towards the door. As she’s about to reach the doorknob, the door swings open hitting her in the face.
She lands butt first on the floor, making her flinch in pain “Ouch, can’t you wait outside instead”. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” the familiarity of the voice got her nerves sending shivers throughout her body. She looks up towards the source of the voice, as her eye regaining its focus. You take her hand in yours helping her to stand up. Sullyoon gasped in shocked upon recognizing the figure she misses the most. “Y/N oppa?”.
*dust's off keyboard, reboots creative center, cracks knuckles*
It has been a while! I haven't written in a long time because life got in the way. I am not a student anymore, I barely find the time to keep up with the kpop community, I have an apartment, I am getting married! But getting a request on this blog I cherished for so long, I just can't help myself. So thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy!
♥ Thanks for the request ♥
KihyunXreader
Genre: Fluff
Wordcount: 2173
Warnings: not completely gender neutral
part1, part2, part3
One of your friends, Yongsun, had invited you to her family's cabin for her birthday. To get there she had the bright idea to do a roadtrip spanning 2 days. Most of the people knew each other but you knew some better than others.
In the dilemma of who was going to sit in which car, you stayed quiet. Apparently so did Kihyun resulting in the two of you driving in the luggage packed car while the other two cars held 4 people each.
You didn't have anything against Kihyun, it was just that the two of you hadn't talked much before. Your main fear was that it was going to be an agonizingly awkward two day drive.
The first few hours the conversation was light, small talk really. What else had the two of you to talk about? It was quiet in the car as you were enjoying the scenery. The next song started and you recognized the one of a kind sound of imagine dragons right away. To your surprise, as soon as the lyrics started it wasn't just your voice you heard singing along but his as well. After a few lines the two of you were switching parts to sing and harmonizing as if you had practiced this. His fingers tapped on the steering wheel and your head bobbed to the music.
After your karaoke session the atmosphere was much lighter in the car. Neither of you holding back in singing along or telling stories about previous trips or things that happend with the friends the two of you had in common. You had already stopped a few times and switched places but the day felt like it had flown by when you noticed the car in front of you pull into the car park of the hostel you all would be staying at.
The two of you naturally parted ways after getting out of the car, the men and women heading to different blocks. You lay yourself down in between Yongsun and Bora, Hyejung laying down on the other side of the birthday girl after the 4 of you had put on your face masks.
"So," Yongsun turned to you "I hope you didn't suffer too much during the car ride here." She nudged. 8 hours ago you would have reasoned the same, but now it caught you by surprise. "Huh? No, it has been fun."
Hyejung sat up with dramatic speed "Kihyun? Fun? didn't take him as the type."
"I don't know, a lot can happen when you spend this much time alone together." Yongsun said suggestively, digging further into what you said than need be.
"Oh come on," Bora laughed, you're glad for her interruption of these allegations "you guys are so harsh. How about you huh, you sure you and hyungwon are still going to be on good terms by the end of this trip." this earned a pillow to the face from Yongsun "it's not that bad."
"You only fought twice." she mocked casually, teasing Yongsun.
"It's just that I know the area around here. I know the nicest routes. He's just following the GPS without listening to my directions." was her reasoning. You nodded along, Bora rolling her eyes having seen it all from the backseat of the car they had been in.
"You wanted to be his passenger princess instead of driving yourself." That shut her up, promising to drive the next day. The four of you talked for an hour longer before one by one falling asleep.
The next day after breakfast everyone packed a lunch for on the way and all got into their spot in the car. You could hear the conversation between Hyungwon and Yongsun. Turned out he actually liked driving, having her as passenger princess. But after the conversation before, Yongsun wasn't letting up and got in behind the wheel.
"You good?" Kihyun asked as you stood in the open car door."
"Yeah, was just thinking about something me and the girls talked about last night." Kihyun didn't pry. As soon as the cars in front of you left, he followed behind.
Compared to yesterday, the roads had become more narrow, surrounded by dense forests and it seemed like you were continuously going uphill. A few hours after you guys had stopped for lunch it started to rain, getting worse fairly quickly.
"Ah, damn, the navigation isn't working. I can't see a thing with this storm." He tried his best to see where he was going but with the rain he could only see a few meters in front of the car, there was no way he would be able to follow the others who were only a little ahead.
"Must be bad mobile data service with the weather in the mountains. Give me a moment, I'll call Yong-sun." The phone rang once, twice, trice until a few beeps could be heard signaling bad reception , supporting your theory. You texted Bora that you guys were going to pull over for a bit to figure things out and pulled out the map on your phone. Luckily you had downloaded the maps of the area in advance so you could at least figure out your next move.
"There should be a small car park up ahead on our right. Let's stop there until the storm calms down." Kihyun nodded, focusing on the road and waiting for the sign to drive into the car park. It felt like gravel and there were only 2 other cars there. Sadly you didn't recognize either of them as the ones your friends were in.
"Did your message send?" He asked after carefully parking the car. Now that the engine wasn't running anymore you realised at which volume the both of you had been talking to hear each other over the rain landing on the roof and windshield.
"It took a few tries but I think so. She hasn't answered yet though and nothing is going through in the group chat."
The both of you came to the conclusion that you would figure it out by yourselves, using the map on your phone.
"Look, this is where her cabin is. According to the GPS earlier it was still a 4 hour drive but no way we are making that in this weather."
Kihyun leaned over the gear stick and so did you so he could see the map on the small screen of your phone. You had never been this close to him before and it felt a bit embarrassing the way your body reacted to the proximity. Your skin flushed around your cheeks and neck and your breath got stuck in your throat as if you forgot how to breath without thinking about each in- and exhale. You cleared your throat to refocus and pointed to where you guys were stranded at the moment, thinking that was what he had just asked.
"I'd say we wait out the storm for a little while. Maybe get some sleep so we can leave right when the storm clears." He offered, sitting up straight again, taking off his seat belt and adjusting his hoodie so he could get comfortable in his seat. You nodded and followed his lead, taking off your seat belt and reaching for the blanket that you had stuffed behind his seat. You heard Kihyun clear his throat and when you looked over you saw he had already sunk into his seat and closed his eyes. With the plof sound of your backside hitting the seat again he opened one of his eyes to be met with you offering him one of the blankets. "You are one smart cookie." He joked, earning a chuckle. He secretly adored the roll of your eyes that told him you were comfortable enough to make fun of him. It made him feel like he didn't need to keep his guard up constantly either, constantly worried if he was polite enough or too bothersome.
He waited for a little while until you got comfortable under your blanket, laying your head facing the window which you could barely see through with the rain pouring down outside, before going to sleep himself.
By the time the two of you left, the sun had set. You had plugged your phone into the car so it could charge, seeing it had died sometime while you were asleep. After about 10 minutes of driving you asked Kihyun to turn it on, and right away multiple messages came through. "That's probably Yong-sun or Bora, the others are probably worried. Could you check? My code is 2102." He nodded and unlocked your phone.
He was woken up by a tapping of a hand against his shoulder. "Kihyun, look." The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was you. An excited smile on your face, a glimmer of light in your eyes and a red hue cast over your skin making it glow like that of an angel. He blinked a few times before averting his gaze to what you were looking at. The rain had stopped outside, the only water that still fell was that that had been caught by the leaves of the trees around the parked car. Through the windshield he saw a soothing red hue framing the hills that the two of you had probably driven past earlier that day without even realising. The sunlight slowly fading like the volume being turned down on the world yet its warmth still filling his chest. His chest raised and fell with a sigh as if releasing all of the stress the storm had caused him. He looked back at you to see your calm smile pointed to him. "I'll drive next, let's stretch our legs first." Is all you said before opening the car door and stepping out. He chuckled as he saw you try different weird stretches to loosen each possible muscle that had been stuck in the same position during the long time in the car.
"The others had stopped somewhere up ahead as well. They left about an hour ago when the rain stopped. Want me to reply?" You agreed that he should let them know that the both of you would be there before midnight according to the GPS on his phone that was working again now that the sky was clear.
Suddenly your stomach growled loud enough that even Kihyun could hear. "Maybe we should stop for dinner somewhere. If we find anything that is still open." Not too far away there was an inn. It was 8 in the evening so hopefully they still served food.
Kihyun walked up to the door first. Taking the handle in hand and stepping aside so you could walk through. "Such a gentlemen." You giggled, receiving a smile that reached his eyes. Unbeknownst to you he thought your laugh was cute. Never in your previous meeting had he noticed that. "Welcome" a woman said from behind a counter "room for 2?"
"Oh no, we were actually wondering if the restaurant was still open." You had a polite smile as you spoke and looked over at the nearly empty dining area. "We got stuck in the storm and haven't been able to eat anything yet." He added in hopes it helped in still being served a meal, his hand casually finding a place on your shoulder as he stood behind you.
"Take a seat, I'll go check in the kitchen." The two of you took a seat near a window and it wasn't too long before she came to take your order.
"So the two of you honeymooning in the mountains?" She asked, taking the menus from the table. You were going to answer but Kihyun beat you to it "Yeah actually, we're on our way to a cabin a few hours from here. We're really looking forward to it." He showed her a beaming smile, his eyes barely visible, your lips pressed together stopping you from either smiling or expose his lie.
"Well congratulations! Let me get this order ready for you so you can be on your way and enjoy this precious time together." As soon as she was out of sight and earshot you kicked him under the table.
"Why would you lie to that poor woman." You whispered with a laugh.
"What? She said it. Maybe we'll get a discount or something." He shrugged, his smile as mischievous as him.
"You are a bad, bad man Kihyun."
After dinner you guys paid, or Kihyun insisted on paying actually, and before you could leave the friendly lady from before walked up with a large Styrofoam cooler box. "To congratulate you and so you can celebrate wholeheartedly as soon as you are in the comfort of your cabin." Inside was a variety of deserts and two bottles of Soju. You thanked her repeatedly and turned to Kihyun who took the box from you. The look he gave you said 'I told you so', clear as day.
--- to be continued ---
This is getting very long so for ease I will cut this up into two parts but part 2 will be up soon after this one.
Word Count: 739
Summary: "I’ve known for a while." You stretched lazily, tossing a snack wrapper onto the table. "I was just waiting for you to admit it."
Pairing: Tae Rae X Reader
Navigation
TaeRae had never been good at thinking under pressure. Usually, he could roll with the punches, smooth-talk his way out of anything, but today? Today, he was doomed.
The conversation had started harmlessly enough—just a group of friends joking around during lunch. But then Hao, always the nosy one, decided to put TaeRae on the spot.
"Come on, TaeRae. You have to like someone. Spill."
TaeRae had laughed, shaking his head. "Not happening."
But Hao didn’t let up. Neither did the others. The teasing got worse, their curiosity growing by the second. And then the dreaded question came—
"Wait… is it someone we know?"
The momentary silence that followed was suffocating. TaeRae could feel the weight of all their expectant gazes pressing in on him, his brain short-circuiting.
Yes. It was someone they knew. It was you.
His best friend. His partner-in-crime. The one person he could never tell because the thought of losing you was unbearable.
So, he did the stupidest thing imaginable.
"Fine," he blurted out, grasping at the first solution that came to mind. "It’s Y/N."
The words hung in the air.
Wait.
Wait.
Did he—did he just confess his "feelings" for you… to cover up the real ones?
His stomach dropped.
There was no taking it back now.
The group erupted into chaos. Hao looked like he had won the lottery, while Yujin gasped dramatically, clutching her chest like this was the romance of the century. Someone else whistled. And you—
TaeRae dared to glance at you, expecting shock, confusion, maybe even horror.
But you… you just stared at him for a second, then tilted your head and shrugged. "Huh. Took you long enough."
What?
WHAT?
He barely had time to process before someone clapped him on the back, saying something about how cute the two of you were. Just like that, the conversation moved on, but TaeRae’s world had just flipped upside down.
You—took him seriously? Were you just playing along, or—
He needed to fix this. Immediately.
Step One: Damage Control
TaeRae was freaking out.
After lunch, he pulled you aside in the hallway, his heart hammering. "Hey, so about what I said—"
"What about it?" you asked, blinking up at him, completely unbothered.
"You know I didn’t mean it, right?" His voice was rushed, nervous. "I just—everyone was asking, and I panicked—"
"I know."
He paused. "You… do?"
You nodded. "TaeRae, you suck at lying. I knew the second you said my name that it was just an excuse."
Relief flooded his chest, but it didn’t last long because you grinned mischievously and added, "That’s why I decided to play along."
Wait.
"You what?!"
"Oh, come on. Think about it." You leaned in, lowering your voice. "If we act like it’s real, they’ll stop prying into your love life. No more annoying questions. It’s a win-win."
Okay. That… kind of made sense?
But also, how was he supposed to survive pretending to like you when he already did?
Step Two: Survive the Act
The next few days were torture.
Holding hands? Apparently, that was part of the "act." You did it so casually, intertwining your fingers with his like it was second nature.
Studying together? That was normal. But now you were leaning your head on his shoulder, close enough that he could feel your breath on his neck.
The worst part? It all felt too natural. Too right.
Was this fake? Were you just a ridiculously good actor, or—
One evening, after another painfully sweet study session, TaeRae finally broke.
"I can’t do this anymore."
You blinked at him from across the couch, mid-bite of a snack. "Do what?"
"Pretend." His heart pounded. "I can’t pretend to like you because—" He exhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair. "Because I already do."
Silence.
For one horrifying moment, he thought he had just ruined everything.
Then, you smiled. Slowly, knowingly.
"You really thought I didn’t know?"
His breath hitched. "Wait. You—?"
"I’ve known for a while." You stretched lazily, tossing a snack wrapper onto the table. "I was just waiting for you to admit it."
He gaped at you, at the easy confidence in your voice. "Then why—why go along with this? Why pretend?"
You finally met his eyes, and this time, there was no teasing. Just something softer. Warmer.
"Because I like you too, idiot."
TaeRae had never been more grateful for saying something stupid in his entire life.
