On September 19th, I'm going to be having a diagnostic laparoscopy which will likely result in a hysterectomy.
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I'm scared. I've never had a surgery of this magnitude before. It'll put me out of work for at least six weeks. And I've read about the risks and long term complications that can result from losing my uterus.
Women who opt for a hysterectomy to address endometriosis have a 15 percent probability of persistent pain even after the surgery, with a 3 to 5 percent risk of worsening pain or new symptom development, according to a review of studies in Facts, Views and Vision: Issues in Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Health.
Removing the uterus can cause side effects, including bladder dysfunction and pelvic pain from the scarring. Because your organs shift after one is removed, some women report various types of chronic pain, like hip or back, which then radiates up to neck pain and can cause migraines. Some report organ prolapse, too.
Besides the risk for early menopause and depression, women who’ve had hysterectomies are at increased odds for high blood pressure, obesity, and heart disease, a Mayo Clinic study found. (Researchers don’t yet understand what the role of the uterus is in all of this.) Long-term issues are especially pronounced the younger you have the hysterectomy: Women younger than 35 who had the procedure had a 4.6-fold higher risk for congestive heart failure, compared with women above that age, who had just a 0.6 percent higher risk.
I am 34 years old. But I'm out of options, to be honest. I've been suffering with excruciating, and I mean fucking excruciating pain since my first cycle.
I was 12 years old when I first thought I was going to die. That's not an exaggeration. First, I started hurting. Hurting so much that it felt like I was slowly being eviscerated, one rope of intestine at a time. Like I was being steadily carved out. The pain made it to where I was throwing up for a full straight hour and I stayed drenched in a cold sweat.
My grandmother was there with me that day, and she knew what was happening. She had similar pains when she was younger. Thankfully she had a doctor that took her seriously. She had the surgeries she needed to take care of the problem.
It was another two hours before I could hold down ibuprofen.
And from that day forward, this was my life.
I missed school a lot. Even with the high powered NSAIDS my first OBGYN prescribed and birth control, the pain never stopped.
Keeping a job was even harder. Because the pain was monthly, making it through the probationary period (three months) was damn near impossible.
I was 26 when I finally held a job longer than a year.
This was through sheer determination and biting the bullet on how much it fucking hurt.
I was 28 when I passed out from that pain for the first time. It actually triggered a seizure.
Every OBGYN I saw, I begged for a hysterectomy. And every one of them said no, because I had not given birth.
“I don't want to have children,” I said, for the millionth time. I had helped raise a child already. I may not have given birth to him, but I was there from the time he was two years old and he is now a pharmacy technician. I consider Adrian my son.
“You'll change your mind some day, I know I did!” They'd laugh. My medical records were in their hands. They knew how much pain I had been in. But all that mattered was that I could give birth.
‘I'm not you. I'm in agony and I want to put a gun in my mouth every time this pain starts.’ That's what I wanted to say.
Rather than trying to permanently fix the problem, they'd give me more Tylenol with codeine. Just enough for two out of the 10 to 12 days I'd be bleeding.
I bled so much for so long that I'd become anemic by the time I was 16.
That anemia (plus an infection) finally landed me in the ER in July.
This operation is something I have been needing for so long. I don't know if it will fix me. It might. It might not. I'm angry that I've been through more than 6 doctors to try to reach someone who actually listened and is at last putting my quality of life over the potential of pregnancy. I'm angry that I had to be over thirty before someone even considered helping me with a more permanent solution, and I had to spend what should have been my best years curled up on the floor crying because I couldn't even get up.
If anyone reading this has had a hysterectomy, what was your experience, if you're comfortable sharing?