In this NSFW Choose Your Own Adventure, your arrival in Pelican Town sparks the interest of quite a lot of people. Who will catch your eye the most -- or can you have all of them?
Shane, Abigail, Sebastian, Sam, Maru, Elliott, Emily, Hailey, Alex, Penny, Harvey, Leah, Robin x Reader
NSFW Choose Your Own Adventure
🔗 READ/PLAY HERE
🎮interactive fanfic "Stardew Valley... With Smut" by @sinfiction
📖 Episode 1 of ?
Hope you're ready to stay on your toes, you just started a prank war with a rocket scientist. As soon as she spotted the card on the table, she'd started planning up new inventions to retaliate with. Your reactions would be priceless, she couldn't wait to show off her ideas.
First was the 'animal translator' she attached to your cat that kept talking about world domination. You both laughed at that. The fridge being modified to say your name when you were alone in the kitchen was less funny. The TV only being able to play Real Housewives of Zuzu even less so. But she laughed through it all, even when you fumed at the robot stealing your keys.
A month later, when the can you'd thrown in the bin was spat back at you, you finally had to put your foot down. She was sat in her room, soot on her face as she tinkered away at another invention that was suspiciously you shaped. You had to clear your throat to draw her focus from programming its dance function. The way her eyes lit up, when you saw it almost made you reconsider, it was always amazing to see her creativity. But then it started singing and you had to call it off. A prank war just wasn't fair when one of you was a genius inventor.
To her credit, Maru immediately realised how far she'd taken it and apologised for the next day. It was just so much fun to see you respond to her creations, she'd got carried away. But she vowed that her creations would only make you happy from now on. She kept the dancing robot though.
Shane
It was a joke, right? Right? He's pretty sure it was a joke. If it was, very funny. And it's definitely not a secret hint that he's fucking it up, because you'd tell him if he was fucking it up. But what if you had told him and he wasn't listening? Or you wanted to but you didn't want to hurt his feelings? For some reason, you cared about those a lot. Fuck, has he done anything wrong lately? He was a bit grumpy a few days ago, was definitely harsher than he'd meant to be. He apologised, but was that enough? You didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve your patience, didn't deserve you.
Fine, maybe he had spiralled just a bit. He still managed a laugh when you got home, but you noticed that his smile didn't reach his eyes, how his voice wavered. So you firmly grabbed his face and shook it lightly, assuring him that you'd never want a divorce.
Only then did he start genuinely laughing, cupping your hands on his cheeks with his own. Because it was funny, the way you were shaking his head like you could dislodge his doubts. Maybe they were a bit too stubborn for that, but the fact you were trying at all reminded him that you were just as stubborn.
Leah
Her first response to reading the card addressed to her on the table was to laugh. Oh, you're divorced now? Well if you say so. She teased you all day, constantly turning away from you.
"Don't mind me, just packing up. Since I don't live here anymore."
"Why are you asking what I want to eat? We're divorced now, remember?"
"Sorry, this is my bed. This space here would be for a spouse, if I still had one."
You're begging for forgiveness by the time it's evening, finally cracking her up enough to drop the act. Still smirking, she grabbed your arm and pulled you back into bed. As you settled down, her arm dropped over you as she muttered something about what you two would do if you were actually splitting up, before concluding that it'll never happen.
Harvey
He doesn't know what to make of it at first. Was it a joke? He didn't think getting divorced was very funny. And if you were, he definitely wouldn't be getting a 'Single and Ready to Mingle' card about it.
When he needed relationship advice, he'd normally resorted to asking for help. Firstly from Maru, but she wasn't working today. So his next choice was his aerobics class. Which might've been a mistake, since they seemed to be less attuned to your sense of humour than he was.
Marnie was telling him to think back on everything he's done in the past month because this was a passive aggressive hint. Jodi warned him to spend more time with you, you clearly wanted more attention. Pam insisted that this meant you were secretly a heartless bastard all along, though he tried to defend your character.
His final option for advice was you, which was a bit embarrassing until he remembered that you've seen each other naked so this can't be too bad. He still didn't quite understand why it was funny, but he still hung onto the card, a little token of your humour.
Haley
She rolled her eyes when she read inside the card, "Goodbye forever" with a little broken heart. You think this is funny? You're not laughing when your little joke is pinned on the town's notice board for everyone to tut at. She knew because she was watching for when you'd pass by, camera at the ready in case you made a stupid face.
And she wasn't disappointed, your pure confusion at why Evelyn was telling you to sort out your marital spats maturely was only trumped by how quickly your face fell when you read 'No Marriage No Problems' next to the town calendar. The photo of your tomato blush and widened eyes was perfect to embarrass you with later.
Don't worry, she eventually stepped in when Mayor Lewis tried to reprimand you for inappropriate use of public property, taking the blame herself. She also made it up to you by pinning the photo of you completely red in the face in the privacy of your own home instead of for the whole town to see. This way, your adorably flustered face is for her eyes only.
random 3am thots.... otaku!gojo x maru x reader where maru comes to earth and abducts you both. he wants to learn more about 'human mating rituals' so he abducts a male with similar build/stature to him and a human woman who he is 'compatible' with. except otaku!gojo is your nerdy ass TA who is tutoring you and sure you think he's kinda hot, but he's a huge perverted dweeb. you claim you're not compatible but maru says his calculations are not wrong. now maru wants to 'watch' the two of you first. so he releases an aphrodisiac to get you both in a 'mating' mood to do a demonstration (lol otaku!gojo didn't need help he already had a boner just from being abducted and actually wanting to be probed fhbndfjsvhbsfd). before maru's joining in himself...
ahhhhhhhhhbdfsjvnkjdfvhsbnkhf my brain is so cracked rn.😮💨
It’s kinda silly but just imagine you, Yuka and Tsurugi chatting about your Hogwarts houses… and poor Maru looking so lost and confused because he’s an alien and has no idea what Harry Potter even is
