microfic biased off this post by @we-were-starss because why not
It had been a brilliant idea.
After all, they’d already planned to brew Polyjuice, and what else to use to for other than pranks?
Right before class, James had put his glasses on Sirius’s face, and then James had pulled off a strand of Sirius’s hair, and Sirius to James. They put it in their cups and drunk the whole bottle, causing both of them to crumple in pain.
When they arose from their fetal positions on the floor in their dorm, Sirius looked up, shocked to be met with his own face.
“Bloody hell, Potter. This brilliant!” Sirius said, examining his arms his arms, and flexing.
“Merlin, Sirius, how do you deal with your hair this long?” James brushed his fingers through his (Sirius’s) hair.
“How do you deal with glasses?” Sirius asked, taking off James’s glasses and squinting across the room. “Your eyesight is fucked, mate.”
“Are you two ready to go to class?” Remus asked, coming out of the bathroom and straightening his tie. Peter had music blasting in his ears as he attempted to put his shoes on. Remus walked over to “Sirius” and was about to kiss his cheek before James jumped back, and Remus looked at “Sirius” confused.
“It’s me. James. I’m James.” James said frantically “He’s Sirius” Remus’s brow furrowed before a wave of realization flooded his face.
“Polyjuice.” he muttered, as Peter pulled out his earbuds.
“Polyjuice?” Peter asked, standing up.
“Those two idiots took Polyjuice.” Remus sighed waving his hand between James and Sirius. Peter stared at both of them shocked.
“Smart as ever, Moony.” Sirius winked at Remus.
“I am not kissing you until this wears off” Remus called over his shoulder, walking out of the dorm. Sirius sighed lovingly, before continuing to examine his body and Peter bombarded them with questions.
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Sirius and James had decided to just go to the others classes to draw less attention to themselves. They enjoyed walking around Hogwarts, nobody else knowing that they weren’t who they were supposed to be. They agreed to continue to take it throughout the day, but to have it end before quidditch practice (Sirius drew the line at him and James’s swapping positions).
The day started to get interesting after Potions, when Sirius said that he had to go grab something he forgot from his dorm. The others waved him goodbye and headed off to lunch, while he made the trek back to the Gryffindor common room.
Nothing interesting had happened, until he suddenly felt someone pull his robes. He yelped out of surprise, which was only heightened when he was shoved into a broom closet. Once in, the person moved their lips closer to his, but he was able to push the person off him with little effort. His eyes widened as he looked at the person in front of him.
“What the hell Reggie??” Sirius shouted. Regulus shushed him, and was beetroot red.
“Sorry.” He mumbled.
“Sorry??? Why did you do that?” Sirius recoiled, very confused.
“You said I could.” Regulus seemed to be making himself smaller as he adjusted his clothes.
“Why in the name of merlin would I say that? You’re my bloody brother!”
“What?” Regulus’s eyes snapped up to meet his.
“I’m your brother! Why would you try to snog me?” Sirius repeated himself.
“You’re not my brother. You’re James.” Regulus tilted his head to the side, just as confused as Sirius. Suddenly, Sirius’s mouth dropped open.
“Fuck. Regulus, have you been dating James?” Sirius asked.
“James? Yes. You are James. Stop playing with me, Potter.”
“Regulus, I’m Sirius. Me and James took Polyjuice.” Regulus’s eyes widened in horror.
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah. Shit.” Sirius grumbled, his mind still spinning from the realization.
“I’m sorry. Actually, no. I’m not sorry. Me and James are together and if you don’t like it then that’s your problem.” Regulus snapped, his eyes aflame.
“I never said I had a problem with it, Jesus. Give me a second.” Sirius adjusted his (James’s) glasses. “I’m going to go talk to James.” Without another word, Sirius fled from the broom closet and ran all the way down to the great hall.
Once he was there, he scanned the hall, and then ran up to the table where the other three marauders sat. Once he got there, he stood over himself (James) and crossed his arms.
“Hello pads-prongs.” James corrected himself. “Care to join us?” Sirius stayed where he was and narrowed his eyes at James before shaking his head fondly.
“You brother-fucker.”
