I wish aversions to certain things were more accepted, like how we've accepted that everyone has their own likes/dislikes when it comes to food.
I don't like peas. Nobody is gonna argue with me about that.
But I say I don't like being touched, and all I hear is "But I want a hug." "But I love you, I wanna touch you." "Have you tried getting over it?"
If you really care about me, then you'll respect my boundaries and keep your hands off of me.
I say I'm uncomfortable with eye contact, and all I hear is "Its disrespectful to not look someone in the eye when they're talking to you." "It seems like you're not paying attention." "Its not a big deal, just do it." "Have you tried getting over it?"
If I've explained that I'm simply uncomfortable with eye contact, then you should know that I am listening to you. And if you had the patience to finish what you were talking about and gave me the chance to respond, instead of stopping mid-sentence to berate me, then you'd know I was paying attention.
I say I don't wanna have sex, and all I hear is "You just haven't met the right person." "How do you expect to have a lasting relationship if you refuse to be intimate?" "Don't you love your partner?" "You're gonna make your partner feel unattractive." "But I want grandkids someday." "Have you tried getting over it?"
That's between me and my partner. Sex isn't always necessary. All relationships are different. You just need to find someone you're compatible with. If I'm with someone who respects my boundaries, then I have met the right person. If you can't have a relationship that excludes sex, then it's a good thing it's not your relationship. And whether or not I have kids is up to me. If i do decide I want a kid, there are other ways.
Everyone is different. Just because somebody has different boundaries or functions differently doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. It doesn't mean they should change. It doesn't mean they should ignore their comfortability to make you happy. And expecting that from anyone is selfish.
