im kinda obsessed with forced proximity, esp with john... i feel like he would get embarrassed easily (but hes real for that bc me too)
(love your fics diva, never let them dim your sparkle 💖)
i got this one twice so i thought i would start with this!! also that meme made me laugh thank you my queen for always supporting me it means a lot xx
Going in Circles
plot: arthur is sick of john and f!reader bickering during missions, so he traps them on a ferris wheel lol
warnings: language, jealousy
trope(s): enemies/rivals to lovers, forced proximity, grumpy x sunshine kinda
wc: 2k
Saint Denis — the oasis of the Lemoyne swamps, a pillar of Civilization in the midst of bogs and muddy rivers, America's southern pride. The sun was beginning to set, only slivers of golden rays and warm, bright speckles of light managed to break through the concrete and brick facades of the city for one last time before the buildings would be swallowed whole by the darkness. The heat was heavier, almost tangible here on the cobbled streets, making people flee into their abodes even during night time. Soon, the hustle and bustle of the afternoon crowds would be replaced by their more sinister counterparts but for now, it was eerily quiet in the city. Barely any noises could be made out, except for one gravelly, exasperated voice echoing through the park it stemmed from.
"I'm beginnin' to grow real tired of you two idiots, you know?" Arthur huffed in annoyance, John and you trailing behind him with your tails tucked between your legs. Faces red from both anger and shame, neither of you dared to speak a word, lest you would feel the older man's wrath dig into your guts any further. You swallowed thickly and pushed a sweaty, sticky strand of hair behind your ear. It wasn't like you to behave like this, to mess up during missions.
Not usually.
You had always taken pride in your well-composed and reliable nature, evident in the hard work you had put in to finally fight alongside the big guns of the Van der Linde's. There was just something about the raven-haired man indignantly trudging beside you that irked you. Yes, John Marston made you furious, with his snide comments and eye-rolling at your every move. You had noticed it ever since you stumbled upon the patchwork family at Horseshoe Overlook, the way he surveyed each step you took, each bite of food, each shot of your revolver.
For some reason, he had grown to hate you — so naturally, you hated him, too.
As Arthur seemed to have said everything he wanted to say, and John and you still refused to utter a single word, the three of you moved to your destination in silence, giving you time to rethink where everything went south.
It was supposed to be a simple stagecoach robbery, with Arthur distracting the drivers and you two cracking open the trunk as quickly and quietly as possible. Unfortunately, it turned out to be neither the former nor the latter, and ended with John and your bickering being heard all the way from the bush you were hiding behind and Arthur having to flee the scene with bullets hailing down on him. It was a close call — way too close — and made you shudder despite the heat. Nothing had happened, but the fact that it could have had taught you a lesson you desperately needed taught.
"All right, here we are." The brown-haired man's booming voice tore you from your racing mind.
You both looked at him incredulously. In front of you, an amusement park, the latest addition to Saint Denise: very en vogue, unlike anything you had ever seen. Very unlike Arthur. He chuckled at your mirrored expressions and gestured you to enter.
"I'm givin' you two the chance to redeem yourselves," He explained, leading you past shooting ranges and candy booths, to the most humongous structure of them all: a ferris wheel, metal spokes creaking dangerously. "I need you two to stand watch in lookin' for Bronte's men. This thing right here is the highest you gonna get in this place."
"Why the hell can't you do that yourself?" John found his voice first, a mix of fear and annoyance in this tone. "Or just her-" He loosely gestured in your direction.
You were about to retort, enraged at his suggestion that you do this alone, but Arthur quickly stepped in. "Enough of you! Both!" He turned to the younger man first. "If you think for one second I'm gonna get on this deathtrap just because you fools hounded the whole of Lemoyne on our asses, you're dead wrong, boy." The threatening tone made John shrink under his gaze, making you chuckle.
"And you, miss-" Arthur turned to you now, promptly shutting you up. "Get up there too, because four eyes are better than two, and because I said so."
You nodded quickly in response, fearing what might happen if you defied him again. If there was one thing about Arthur Morgan, it was that he could make people do whatever the hell he wanted, even John Marston and you. After the discussion came to a quick end, you begrudgingly stepped into one of the capsules together, mutually agreeing that the instigator at hand should be the one to pay. Your eyes widened in fear as the vendor shut the door to the outside, 10$ in his hand that came straight from Arthur's pockets.
"How long do you plan on keeping us up here?" You yelled down, panic in your tone.
Arthur raised his head and gave you a devious smile. "Payed for the whole night."
For the first time in what seemed like months, John and you looked at each other. Your heart was pounding straight through your chest — the thought of being stuck on a metal contraption 100 feet in the air with a man who hated your guts was literal nightmare fuel. Neither of you knew what to do, and since simply opening the door and leaving was not quite an option, you opted for an awkward silence. A tension that could be cut with a dull blade hung in the air; it was clear that, whoever spoke up first would do so to blame the other for their misfortune. Alas, the silence persisted.
John was seething. He should have been celebrating, drinking with his friends around the campfire after a job done well — instead, he was trapped in here with you for the entirety of the night. He glared at you from the other side of the small enclosure, feeling like an animal in a zoo.
"What the hell is your problem with me?" You finally spoke up after the moon had long risen.
"Ain't got a problem, dunno what you mean, woman." The man huffed, but even in the pitch dark you could see him averting his gaze.
"Whatever." You rolled your eyes and turned to face the window. From up here, where you couldn't smell its foul stench or hear its unmelodious sounds, the city sure was a sight to see. A small smile graced your lips at the twinkling lights below, despite the circumstances.
"What the hell have you got to smile about?"
Your mood immediately turned sour at his words, and you furiously turned back to face him. "Alright, I'm done." You stood up in the shaky cabin and stepped over to his side, piercing his chest with your index finger. "You're gonna tell me why you hate me so much, or you're gonna shut the hell up and do what we were told, you understand me?"
Shock was painted on the man's face at your sudden outburst, and you expected an equal amount of energy at his answer. Instead, he slowly put your hand off him and cleared his throat.
"I'm just tired of you actin' like you own the place-" He began, calmly and almost threateningly. "Walkin' around with these stupid frilly skirts, smellin' of rosewater and thinkin' you're all that."
You looked at him, stunned. Of all things you had wracked your head about on why he despised you so much, the way you dressed and smelled was certainly not on your list. Embarrassment, and a hint of hurt crowded your mind as you sat back down across from him. Your knees touched briefly before you pulled away, almost as if he had burnt you. It took you a second before you opened your mouth to speak again, but John was not done yet.
"You might fool the other guys, battin' your pretty eyelashes and giggling like a schoolgirl-" Pretty? "But not me. I know your play. You're not gettin' any special treatment just 'cause you look nice." Nice?
You looked at him for a moment, dumbstruck. Never in your life had you felt so flattered and insulted in a single sentence, and you couldn't help but laugh at the insinuation that you dressed up to have things done for you. While the thought was amusing, you couldn't leave the accusations at hand hanging in the air.
"I don't know if you've noticed, Marston, but I pull my weight just as much as any of you around camp-" Your voice was low and angry. "Hell, I probably do more than most — not everyone can be the boss' lapcat and get away with everything!" He narrowed his eyes at you and turned to reply, but your final words shut him up quicker than he could think. "The fact that you think I look pretty doing so is frankly none of my damn concern."
It was rare for John to be at a loss for words, but the situation at hand had him too stunned to speak. Suddenly, he was glad that this conversation — which had been more or less imminent — took place at night, where you couldn't see the way his face reddened at your words. It was quiet in the capsule now, both of you having said what needed to be said.
Your mind was racing with thoughts, replaying the conversation in your head over and over again, most often the parts of John saying you dressed nice, and smelled nice, and looked pretty. You wanted to feel angry at his words, but instead you were angry at yourself for the way they made you feel. There was no denying that he was an attractive man, with his quick wit and stormy eyes and slim waist, and the thought of being the object of his affections made your heartbeat quicken. It had never occurred to you that he may have looked at you in the same way you had done before he turned sour.
"You're right." John sighed, clasping his hands together in defeat. "I was bein' real unfair to you, wasn't I? That ain't no way to treat a Lady like you."
"Are you screwing with me right now?"
"Have I really been that cruel? That you don't believe me?" He sounded genuine and hesitantly sought out your hand with his in the dark.
"You drive me up the walls, woman. But that ain't your fault, it's my own." His fingers grasped yours, surprisingly soft and warm. "I suppose I had a hard time believin' someone as kind and nice lookin' as you hangs around us thieves and killers by choice."
Your face reddened, not expecting the sudden shift in demeanor he was displaying.
"Well," a deep breath you didn't realize you had been holding escaped your lungs. "I guess I enjoyed the back and forth, too. Otherwise I wouldn't be sittin' in here stuck with you. Which was your fault by the way."
John didn't argue back, just chuckled at your jab. He squeezed your hand and stood up to sit next to you. The small space was awkward to navigate with his long legs, but he eventually settled beside you, thighs touching. His body so close to yours set you on fire, you were glued to your seat unmoving. The sky in the distance began to gray. Soon, Arthur would return with a knowing look on his face after a job well done — but for now, it was only the two of you, on top of the world, and you had to take your chance.
"Hey, John?"
"What is it, pretty girl?" his voice was barely above a whisper when he turned to face you, noses almost touching.
You didn't reply. Instead, you closed the gap between your lips. In an instant, he reciprocated. Kissing John Marston felt like kissing a man starving, a man quenching his thirst of your mouth, uncaring of whether he could breathe. If kissing you was the last thing he would do, he would die a happy man.
I sat down yesterday and thought to myself: maybe I will finally finish monster hunter stories 3 tonight!
So of course an hour and a half later i was looking at something i made for a meme that i DID NOT have to go so hard on by ANY means. Simon you might have won the battle but you will not win the war I will reclaim her heart I swear this oath upon my blade
I didn't want to distract from my beautiful photos because I NEED you to look at them and explode with me over how loving he looks but this is the meme I needed it for. Literally just a Gaul 3rd wheeling joke. Dude. I DID NOT NEED TO DO ALL OF THAT???
DELTARUNE: A Masochistic Reading of Noelle Holiday and Trends of Masochistic Invalidation
(MASSIVE SPOILERS for all of Deltarune!)
To preface beforehand… everything I’m about to discuss is purely from my own reading, observations, research, and knowledge from friends within alternative communities (S&M and kink) while having very little personal experience with those communities myself.
If this makes everything I’m about to discuss feel fraudulent, you are valid for assuming so.
Frankly, I’ve been musing over whether I should even be the person writing this analysis. But as a fan of the Deltarune community and especially this character, I felt as if this topic has been disappointingly under-discussed, and I wanted to put any of my pennies into this bucket in hopes of finding those voices.
If anyone with real knowledge and lives within these communities happens to read this and finds any of my observations off-base, please inform me in this post’s replies or tumblr asks. I yearn for more analysis on this topic and this character from your voices instead.
Art: @slugg-it-out
Last week... uh, wait 2 weeks ago (shit), I asked this kinda out of nowhere:
“Is Noelle Holiday a masochist?”
My answer? Yes!
… but I want to rephrase the question slightly. Noelle is a minor, so linking her to masochism, even when specifically talking about S&M relationship dynamics and not the physical act of S&M is pretty touchy.
Instead, let me rephrase it this way:
“What observations can we gather from Noelle’s arc under a masochistic reading?”
I don’t think I have to elaborate that Noelle, at the very least, has masochistic tendencies. All of her wiki pages say it, fan communities make constant jokes about it, and thanks to the voters last week, I know a decent majority also agree.
thanks everybody!
So why the heck am I talking about this like some big deal if this is mostly agreed upon?
I’ve combed across tons of Noelle analysis from psychological profiles, her metatextual relevance to Deltarune, the shipping wars, etc. I’ve scoured quite a bit ever since Ch 2… yes, for that long.
And to speak frankly… I think a lot of fans aren’t willing to take Noelle’s masochism seriously.
Not just in the “oh isn’t it funny that she wants to be stepped on” kinda way (though those memes are still very funny), but sometimes in a “Noelle’s masochism is a character-flaw” sort of way.
And I have some concerns that I’ll get into later...
(btw, I’m only linking comments that are genuinely in good faith in this post, I’d rather not draw attention to the malicious ones.)
Here’s my piece: I don’t think Noelle is down bad just for the fun of making thirst jokes, I strongly believe that Noelle was explicitly written to be a repressed adolescent exploring her masochistic tendencies.
Originally, when I finished Chapter 2, I had many thoughts on the Weird Route that I couldn’t quite put into a sensitive reading because I had no concept of masochism as both a real kink and especially not for artistic analysis.
But since those 4 years, I’ve gotten a bit more familiar with queer communities I’ve only started to see more and more things I hadn’t before.
Let’s check out two major introspective moments from Chapter 2 again:
Ferris Wheel dialogue:
Noelle and Kris below the City:
The reasons for where masochism comes from are varied, and I want to be very careful with making any oversimplifications… but man…
Noelle’s background and the specific way she words her introspective thoughts sound remarkably familiar.
Let’s go over Noelle’s traits one by one and connect them to common sentiments shared about the appeal of S&M dynamics (not the sexual activity but the more relationships between them) and the psychology of its participants:
"At first, I cried, but now… it’s like… watching them… makes me feel… comforted?"
"It’s scary, but I can just turn it off, right? Now it’s mostly… people, that are scary. Haha."
Noelle seeks out extreme stimuli like being scared from horror movies, pranks, and deep diving disturbing video game secrets.
Noelle expresses that the reason she loves these situations is because she knows that they aren’t real and that by the end of them, she’ll be ok.
S&M and kink participants create “scenes” in which people act out extreme, specific scenarios not simply to blindly experience pain or intensity, but to willingly engage in a fictitious version of their desires that in real cases would be dangerous to be in.
"I know we never found anything interesting back there… I mostly remember… crying because I was scared."
"But for some reason I feel… nostalgic thinking about it... I guess I didn’t mind being scared if it meant… someone would comfort me."
Noelle also associates fear with a source of nostalgic comfort. This stems from long-gone days where she would frequently be scared, then comforted by someone she loves at the end of these experiences.
There are many cases of masochists seeking out scenes that are reminiscent of the punishment they had received in the past.
Some even being re-enactments of deeply traumatic experiences, only this time, THEY CHOOSE to relive it with someone compassionate and will stop when they say so. (this is where safe words come from)
"(Sigh. Kris is the only one who knows how weird I am. It's not fair y'know?! Everyone knows how weird YOU are!)
Noelle lives with a lot of self-loathing and powerlessness in an emotionally neglectful household where she needs to hide her feelings and interests from her mother constantly.
Many masochists grew up in religious or puritanical households that forced them to bottle up their feelings.
Some of these feelings transform into a sadism that is turned inward as a way to punish themselves for failing the expectations their environment placed on them.
"You’re the… good kind of scary. You aren’t afraid to… break the rules, y’know?"
"… I wish I could do crazy stuff like you."
Noelle spends an exhaustive amount of time helping other people, despite the emotional baggage she already holds.
In moments of introspection, Noelle tends to beat herself up internally about being incapable of rebelling and seeking adventure on her own.
While researching this topic, I came across a lot of beautifully written comments from people who expressed that masochism was a way to achieve freedom from themselves.
By having someone else occupy their thoughts, they were free from their own intrusive thoughts, from controlling their own bodily sensations, and to have to stop worrying about themselves for a fleeting moment.
While there are situations where Noelle will often confuse her boundaries and let people walk over her, she’s still at her happiest and most fulfilled when assisting people who genuinely appreciate her.
One of the biggest emotional appeals of masochists creating scenes for others, is a pride in serving as a conduit for other people to explore reactions that they weren’t allowed to share with anyone else beforehand.
And I haven’t even mentioned Susie yet!
Noelle fantasizes “scenes” with Susie, even to a degree that when she witnesses Susie’s bullying as an outsider, even to her childhood friend, she wishes she could be the one taking the humiliation instead.
Noelle is into people like Susie for a very specific quality.
A person she considers “the good kind of scary”. Someone who is fiercely independent, who uses intimidation as an act, but comes out as emotional and kind-hearted when simply talked to.
And hell, for the Kriselle or the Krusielle crowd, Noelle seems to find these same qualities in Kris as well.
Art: @Kuroto_Draw
Their entire childhood relationship was based on similar foundations.
Kris used to scare Noelle through play-tearing out their heart, jumpscaring her from under her sheets, and covering themselves in blood like a zombie. A majority of these pranks were done innocently, and if any were to go too far, Kris would apologize or protect her from real danger.
Even if Noelle doesn’t have romantic feelings for Kris, they undeniably played a big role in forming experiences that Noelle now associates with companionship and desire.
Real practices of S&M or sadomasochism aren’t about inflicting/experiencing pain just for the sake of it.
The point is to create a consensual relationship with the awareness that they ultimately have control over whatever is done to them.
All parties in an S&M dynamic MUST trust each other to only go as far as they need to.
It’s consent from all parties that makes the relationship legitimate.
This is the most important fact to keep in mind moving forward. Remember this.
If you’ve read up to this point, I imagine (hopefully) this all sounds plenty reasonable… except…
At the cost of undermining everything I typed up beforehand…
Again, it’s tricky to just label Noelle as a masochist and call it a day because she’s a teenager.
Teenagers are famously incapable of understanding themselves, second-guessing their identities and orientations constantly. It’s still a developmental phase. Noelle is especially more emotionally stunted because her home life thrives on her masking through a jolly smile.
She’s barely had the chance to figure out or commit to her interests, so there’s no way to tell if she’ll still like these things or even still like Susie if they ever get into a serious relationship.
So… I just owned myself, right? Essay over?
Well… I have more evidence, but unfortunately, we’re going to have to get into the weird route. Where, unfortunately, these traits are far more obvious.
While this next part might be a tough read, I implore you to sit through as I think some of the MOST important messages of this reading are attained in this route.
(Content Warning: Topics of real-life abuse and toxic power dynamics.)
To me, the most disturbing aspect of the Weird Route isn’t the mass murder, it being the path to an alternative, darker ending, or even Noelle becoming a second player vessel or whatever.
Instead, it's the raw portrayal of an abusive romantic relationship.
When combined with the reading I’ve been using for Noelle so far…
In an extremely twisted way, the Weird Route acts as a sadomasochistic awakening for Noelle. And by selecting very specific options, the Player conditions her existing tendencies to make her unable to distinguish between consent and abuse.
Let’s look over the details:
While Noelle ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT ENJOY THE PLAYER’S ABUSE OF HER, she seems to increasingly become more and more willing to inflict harm on Darkners with the justification that doing so will make her more independent.
All with a frozen smile on her face that only breaks when encountering Berdly.
While sadism and masochism are different in definition, a lot of masochism is defined to be sadism inflicted onto oneself.
One reason for masochism I cited earlier is that some people desire pain and punishment because they feel like they deserve it.
In this case, I feel as if Noelle is redirecting the sadism inflicted onto herself onto the Cyber City mobs once the Player has convinced her that this is all just a game.
Throughout Ch 2’s Weird Route, Noelle is subject to so much stress that she enters a trance-like state where she surrenders her mind, her memories, and even her physical sensations to our commands. In spite of everything, she interprets her predicament as freeing.
“To some, masochism was a way to achieve freedom from themselves. By having someone else control them, they were free from intrusive thoughts, from controlling their own bodily sensations, and to have to stop worrying about themselves for a fleeting moment.”
While freezing enemies on the way, you need to take Noelle to Spamton’s door, which she excitedly calls creepy… but also nostalgic. It’s very likely she is remembering the times she, Kris, Asriel, and Dess used to explore scary places together.
Again, some masochists seek out scenes that depict traumatic memories as a way of re-living them with a higher degree of control over those events.
Noelle says that on each of these adventures, she would usually just cry and run away, but on the Weird Route, SHE is the one literally breaking the rules of the world and deciding the course of events.
Post Snowgrave, Kris returns to her to apologize. Then promises that none of it will happen again and to stay away. Instead, Noelle obsesses over Kris all day, even seeing her crush on Susie, as secondary. When they finally get to talk again, they both start at the end of a long couch, but as the conversation progresses, Noelle tenderly scoots all the way over to lean on Kris… despite them being the physical entity that she had just experienced a day of pain, trauma, and abuse from.
…
Ok… let me cut off from the disturbing shit for just a second…
…And tangent onto something else I find very kinda disturbing.
Let’s talk about the weird ways anti-Suselle discussion incidentally or even purposely delegitimizes Noelle’s crush BECAUSE of her masochistic fantasies.
Art: @the_weaver
I’m not waging a shipping war here! It’s fine if Suselle isn’t your cup of tea, and strictly writing-related reasons are all valid. But I gotta go over some of the weirder sentiments I’ve run into during the agonizing post-Ch 2 era.
“How can Noelle still be into Susie knowing all the red flags? She even saw Kris get bullied badly and did nothing!”
“Noelle barely knows Susie, what if she got into serious trouble by ending up with a rotten person?”
“Noelle is unhealthily obsessed with Susie, it’s almost dehumanizing how so much of her attraction is based off of humiliation fantasies.”
“Does Noelle even like Susie or just the idea of her?”
Here’s the thing… I actually don’t disagree with these comments in a broad sense.
It’s true that Noelle is already a very defenseless, self-sabotaging person who is seeking out a dangerous girl. A bully whom most of her classmates are terrified of being approached by.
It’s also true that Noelle knows so little about the real Susie that a lot of her expectations are definitely idealized.
Susie’s bully persona was always a facade to keep other people away. And now that she’s become comfortable, no longer needing to use it… it’s reasonable to wonder if Noelle might have the wrong idea about Susie.
However, I feel like some of these sentiments, even if I’m certain 90% of are just out of goodwill and protectiveness for Noelle’s sake. The Deltarune community is dominated with queer support and I don’t mean to imply the community or these comments are bigoted.
However, I think a lack of sensitivity in addressing masochistic personality traits comes dangerously close to invalidating Noelle’s autonomy in a similar way to how femmes who participate in kink and identify with submission are often policed online.
Because of the misguided notions that masochists just LOVE pain and abuse for the sake of it, people are immediately discomforted whenever they hear of people engaging in S&M dynamics. Leading to shit like this:
“This is why bullies and abusers feel comfortable in their spaces.”
“Victims are enabling these situations to occur more”
“These helpless girls are going to end trapped in an abusive relationship or even dead”
“Bad actors love that you let them take advantage of you”
“Masochism is a mental illness, you need serious therapy”
Trust me, I relate heavily to being worried for other people and not wanting anyone to get seriously hurt… but these comments exist as a microcosm of people who are unwilling to see kinks and S&M as a valid experience.
The more comfortable people get invalidating masochism as an illness, the easier it is to distance yourself from them through jokes and shame.
And the real sad thing is: It’s easy to ignore victim blaming done by incoherent misogynists… but it’s polarizing to address victim blaming performed by overprotective online policing.
Oftentimes, hate speech and concern can seem indistinguishable.
…I’ve been struggling to write this part of the analysis for quite a while because one of the most upsetting realizations I made was that the Weird Route could be interpreted as fuel for victim blaming directed towards masochists and submissive femmes.
After all, why should people like Noelle be trusted with her freedom when we have palpable proof that she will fail to assert herself when real danger shows up?
The fine line I’ve been trying to balance is that Noelle IS mentally unwell. Noelle’s masochistic tendencies ARE rooted from trauma.
And in a way, Queen and Rudy DO have a point that Noelle is deeply vulnerable to outside forces and needs watchful protection.
But I’ll repeat again, S&M is NOT a willing acceptance of violence and abuse. Legitimate S&M dynamics are found on consent!
The Weird Route is a cautionary tale on relationships that form when consent isn’t part of the equation.
Noelle becomes trapped into this abusive relationship NOT because of her masochistic tendencies, but because she has NEVER been able to explore a romantic relationship or her tendencies and hasn’t properly established her boundaries.
The moment Kris (the Player) returns to their commanding voice and physically endangers her, her longing for Kris is GONE.
I’m certain that Toby knew and predicted potential bad faith readings that could’ve been applied to Noelle’s behavior on this route. Which is why Noelle’s background is so absurdly detailed and specific.
Let’s go over the REAL necessary context that led to this:
Noelle lives in an unchanging, puritanical household trapped eternally in Christmas. Enforced by a very collectivist, matriarchal family dynamic that, as the next woman of the family, she must live up to.
It’s almost to a comical degree with Carol preserving artifacts of the traumatic Dremurr/Holiday split scattered all over the house to remind her every day of what they’ve lost.
Carol is not just a strict mother but also the Mayor of Hometown.
She’s extremely neglectful of Noelle and is told to be “hard on her” whenever she’s around.
Despite being a valedictorian, a pillar of her community, giving gifts to her, and staying put, Carol never seems to show any open appreciation for her. To her, the success and safety of her daughter is more important than a loving relationship.
Perhaps to avoid ever having to relive what happened with Dess...
Noelle just seems scared of her. She won’t argue back or complain even when she is locked out of her house for hours. And throughout all her life, she’s had to hide her interests and relationships from her.
Rudy is at most a mediator of these domestic issues, but doesn’t fix them.
He even neglects serious matters by hiding behind smiles and jokes. And a lot of her inability to admit her emotions could be inspired by her father.
Noelle is also living with some PTSD or even guilt over her sister’s disappearance. Kris, Dess, and Asriel have vanished from her lives one way or another, and with Rudy bedridden, she’s running out of people to love.
Is it any surprise that Noelle, once The Player promises her some liberation, wearing the skin of a person she yearns to connect with again, and who also happens to know the ins and outs of Noelle’s psychology, easily folds to them?
The Weird Route is the consequence of restrictive parenting, emotional neglect, and most of all, invalidation.
This is why talking about this is so important. And it’s why I’ve spent this ungodly amount of time researching this just to talk about a pixelated deer girl.
I didn't write this. But it is facts.
Even if I’m just completely bananas on Noelle’s tendencies being a serious plot point, and even if it’s kind of ridiculous to diagnose fictional characters that we literally cannot question or talk properly to…
Fandoms read personality traits onto characters based both on their writing AND vibes. I mean look at the trans Noelle debate that popped up a few years back.
Brainrot Artistic analysis isn’t about scientifically dissecting the exact psychoanalysis bucket we can put a fictional character into, but the RELATABILITY of the struggles of fictional characters, where we can base entire readings off of.
If we can find valuable connections and lessons in fictional characters, even if we just hallucinated those intentions, those conversations can help us connect to ourselves and other people.
If even someone who only has a broad understanding of masochism can somehow see Noelle as a masochist, even if Toby never intended this (even though I think he did), it is still a valid reading.
And if I’m allowed to be slightly more inflammatory, popular characters like Noelle from a massively popular game, consequentially often have their less relatable qualities erased from discussion and headcanons. I’ve seen it time and time again with degrees of insensitivity.
It’s been done with Noelle, and you’ve definitely seen it with Kris.
46 citations! You didn't want to leave them a chance, huh?!! Did you feel anger? Hate? They were bleeding, begging for you to get out of their body. But you misgendered them! Again and again!
People should be allowed to explore their sexuality and seek relationships that they can grow from. That’s how a person finds their threshold for consent in the first place.
And just because Noelle has a weird, fetishistic love for someone, doesn’t mean it’s not real or worth delving into or questioning herself.
But here’s what I hope I’m trying to get across here is that, and hopefully for the FINAL time:
IT’S ALL ABOUT CONSENT!!! Consent is the difference between valid romantic experiences vs straight-up abuse.
That’s how marginalized people and people who have felt invalid their entire life FIND their communities. Through LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of trial and error!
Maybe the relationship will shatter. Maybe these desires will be preyed on by an abuser. And for Noelle’s case, maybe by seeking this danger, she’ll experience another traumatic experience and shatter her already broken conscience further.
But here’s the thing.
How often does Noelle ever show confidence about what she feels? How often does she act on anything for her own sake?
If Noelle’s desires can be exploited, doesn’t the blame fall on the exploiter and not the person who had the right to seek them out?
And lo and behold, Susie’s actually pretty chill after all!
And by Chapter 4, I think you’d be delusional to still assume Susie doesn’t reciprocate some feelings back.
She gets so distracted by finding out if Suselle is canon that Kris can go down a large hallway, undergo an entire art therapy session, and eat that sweet sweet moss without her noticing.
Knowing how little Noelle ever allows herself to express her own interests, I think it’s actually healthier to just let her find out herself and see what truly makes her happy.
And let’s be perfectly honest - teenage relationships almost never hold up anyways. Suselle, Kriselle, …….Berdelle? It doesn't matter.
Regardless of who she ends up with at the end of Deltarune, it’s not guaranteed to be positive or even last… but the learning experience absolutely will.
AKA: Don’t be a Carol.
PS. Holy [$?%!] this took way too goddamn long.
Everything I’ve said here is honestly very surface-level and more a result of my distant fascination for all sorts of people across marginalized spaces.
I don’t know these people well enough to truly connect to them, but the best I’d like to offer is to explain why they are so interesting. At the very least, this character gave me a great excuse to delve into this topic further.
But for now, I need to give irl serious topics like this a break, I’ll be back to more fun posts until then.
Fish!Driver anybody? The fully drawn image is vvv-below-vvv (higher quality!) alongside a couple more memes and some ideas about him!
FIC HERE ON AO3
Anywhosies, Fish!Driver !!!!
In a more modern merfolk AU, Driver (Casey, by his research name, and Tuna 'Driver' Quesadilla per the public) is one of, if not the only mer still residing in LA's human crowded and polluted waters. He's commonly spotted via underwater nature webcam streams, or the dedicated live feeds managed by his dedicated research team. He also pretty unabashedly crawls up on crowded beaches. (He is well aware that humans tend to keep a distance from him- merfolk being dangerous is fairly common knowledge, and there are laws about interacting with them but, hey, it's not like he knows that)
He is. Very odd for a fish. A part of it is likely due to him being solo, but he has taken it upon himself to investigate sunken ships and ditched cars along the coastline. He's very fascinated with how they work (and particularly the rumbly loud noises boat engines make!) Within five years of him frequenting the surface, he's got at least 25+ boat sinkings under his belt, and at least 6 fatalities. (Three of which were drownings- if a human drowns on a ship he sinks that's none of his business. If they come after him though... that's another story).
Anyway, at one point his research team sunk a boat for his Enrichment (and also to figure out what the hell he even does). Which led to the lovely image above- Casey actively making the connection between captain's wheel and rudder!
And, of course, the creation of many-a-meme.
(I have more lore and shenanigans about him brainstormed with friends @longingforthecosmos, and also a handful more drawings I want to do of him! Debating writing a fic about it?)
When Your Best Friend Discovers Your Partner's Infidelity
pairing: all the drivers on the grid x bff!fem!reader
sumary: they didn't tell you when they found out about your partner's cheating, now they must face the consequences
Red Bull
Max Verstappen
From the first moment he met her, his heart was already lost.
When he discovers your partner is cheating on her, his instinct is to protect you without causing you any more pain, but he doesn't know how to tell you directly.
He confronts the betrayer intensely, almost threateningly: his low, firm voice makes it clear that he won't tolerate lies.
When you find out and are angry that he didn't tell you right away, Max feels trapped between guilt and frustration.
His attempt to explain is honest and direct: "I was trying to handle it without hurting you anymore… I didn't know how else to tell you."
The tension is evident in every gesture: his hands grip the steering wheel, his eyes can't leave yours.
Despite his anger, his silent love is evident in every detail: how he makes sure you lack nothing, how he wants you to be safe and protected.
Yuki Tsunoda
More emotional and nervous than Max, with a tendency to freeze up when faced with romantic conflicts.
Every time he sees something suspicious about your partner, his heart beats fast and he thinks of a thousand ways to say it without making you suffer.
He pressures the betrayer indirectly, with awkward questions and inquisitive looks.
When the reader finds out, he spills the beans with nervous sincerity: "I… I just wanted to protect you… I didn't want to hurt you."
He feels guilty, vulnerable, and exposed, but at the same time, it's a silent love that was always there, supporting him from the shadows.
Ferrari
Charles Leclerc
He was always patient because he knew he shouldn't interfere with your relationship.
Upon discovering the betrayal, he is furious but decides to maintain his composure and carefully bring the truth to light.
He analyzes every word before approaching you, hoping to get you to trust him without letting your anger grow any further.
When you're angry at discovering he didn't tell you right away, Charles feels guilty: he wanted to be the first to protect and love you, but he didn't know how to do it without hurting you.
He finds an intimate moment to explain his heart and his silent love that has always been with you. Every gesture, every glance, every light touch on your arm is a reminder that he was always there, waiting for you.
Lewis Hamilton
He's emotional and direct, but he always seeks to look after your well-being above all else.
When he finds out about the infidelity, his frustration mixes with the pain of seeing someone you love betrayed.
He confronts the betrayer firmly, but he still thinks about how he'll tell you.
Seeing your anger, he feels a mixture of guilt and despair: he didn't want you to feel betrayed by him too.
Finally, with sincere words and an intense gaze, he shows you that he's always been in love, caring for you, and willing to do anything to protect your heart.
McLaren
Oscar Piastri
Extremely tactical and analytical: he studies his partner's every move before acting.
He subtly pressures the betrayer, seeking to bring out the truth naturally, without directly hurting the reader.
When you find out and get angry, he feels guilty: he never wanted you to see him as someone who hid something.
His apology is calm, measured, as he tries to explain that his intention was always to protect you.
His eyes reflect love, patience, and a vulnerability that only you can see.
Lando Norris
A total drama king, he can't contain his nervousness.
He despairs when he sees his silent love suffering because of someone else's betrayal.
When you get angry, he first tries to ease the tension with jokes and dramatic memes, but then he approaches you with complete sincerity.
He ends up hugging you, confessing that he's always been in love with you since he met you, and that everything he did was to take care of you.
Even his playful gestures and nervous laughter are a reminder that his heart was with you from the beginning.
Racing Bulls
Isack Hadjar
He's quieter and more thoughtful, but his concern for you runs deep.
He discovers the betrayal and feels caught between his impulse to tell you and his fear of hurting you further.
He pressures the betrayer with indirect questions and looks that make it clear he knows everything.
When you're angry at discovering he didn't tell you right away, he feels guilty, but tries to explain that he did it to protect you and handle the situation without further suffering.
His tenderness and patience are evident: he stays close, waiting for you to let your guard down and listen to him.
Liam Lawson
More impulsive than Isack, he reacts with surprise and anger at first.
He can't stand still when someone hurts you, so he confronts the traitor firmly.
Seeing your anger, he becomes frustrated, but uses his sincerity and youthfulness to explain that everything he did was out of love and protection.
His gestures are nervous but honest: touching your hand, staring at you intently, showing that he was always in love from the first moment.
Mercedes
George Russell
First impulse: confront the traitor with all his might.
He feels upset to see you angry, but he knows he did the right thing, trying to protect you.
When he explains things to you afterward, he combines logic with tenderness: he wants you to understand his motives without making you feel betrayed.
Every look and gesture shows that his silent love for you is constant and deep.
Kimi Antonelli
He reacts with apparent calm, but inside, he's worried and a little furious.
He calmly pressures the traitor, hoping to get the truth out without directly harming the reader.
When you discover he didn't tell you right away, he shrugs a little uncomfortably, then explains his intention: to protect you while he handled the situation from the shadows.
His serenity and care mean that, even if you're angry, you can't deny that he was always looking out for you.
Aston Martin
Lance Stroll
He feels trapped between his love for the reader and the need to protect her.
He confronts the traitor strategically, using his intelligence to bring the truth to light.
When you find out and become angry, he hugs you long and tightly, while explaining that he didn't mean to hurt you directly.
His sincerity, calm, and tenderness make your initial anger gradually dissolve.
Every small gesture (squeezing your hand, looking into your eyes, speaking in a soft voice) reveals how much he has always loved you.
Fernando Alonso
Calling and cold at first, he goes straight to the traitor to get the information.
Seeing you angry, he defends himself with solid arguments: he did it so you wouldn't suffer anymore.
His serious expression softens when he recognizes your anger, and he ends up being sweet and honest.
Every word and look demonstrates that his love for you was always silent, constant, and protective.
Williams
Alex Albon
Calm, but with a constant touch of concern.
Upon discovering the betrayal, he analyzes the situation before acting: he wants to protect you without escalating your anger.
When you get angry after learning that he didn't tell you right away, Alex approaches you with patience and careful words: "I was just trying to protect you, that's all."
His small gestures, such as touching your shoulder or looking into your eyes, show that he's been in love with you ever since he met you.
Carlos Sainz
Very direct and emotional, he can't stay silent when he sees someone hurting you.
He confronts the betrayer firmly, seeking the truth to come out quickly.
When you get angry, he feels guilt and frustration, but he tries to explain his reasons with complete sincerity: he did it out of love and protection.
His light humor and tenderness help ease the tension while reaffirming that he's always been looking out for you.
Haas
Ollie Bearman
Younger and impulsive, he reacts intensely upon discovering the betrayal.
He can't contain his rage when he sees someone hurting you, so he confronts the traitor without hesitation.
When you get angry for not telling you right away, he feels guilty, but he uses his honesty and vulnerability to explain that he only wanted to protect you.
His clumsy but sincere gestures (running his hand through his hair, biting his lip) show how much he has loved you from the very beginning.
Esteban Ocon
More mature and calculating, he analyzes each step before acting.
He pressures the traitor strategically, seeking to bring the truth to light without further harming you.
When you discover that he didn't tell you the news, he calmly apologizes, explaining his intention to protect you.
His mix of serenity and tenderness means that, even when you're angry, you can see that he was always in love and caring for you.
Alpine
Pierre Gasly
Intensely emotional, he struggles to stay calm when it comes to protecting you.
He presses the betrayer with determination, his heart racing with worry.
When you get angry, he appears nervous but honest: "I just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt more than necessary."
His sincere gestures and words reflect that he was always in love and that his intention was to protect you at all times.
Franco Colapinto
Impulsive and very emotional, he reacts quickly upon learning of the betrayal.
He tries to get the truth out without hurting you, although sometimes he acts clumsily due to his nerves.
When you get angry, he looks at you with pleading eyes and leans in to explain his intention: to protect you while he dealt with the situation.
His vulnerability and sincerity reveal a young, intense, and constant love.
The RDA captures Spider again to study him and run tests, but this time, they're not faced with Spider, they're faced with Häna. The Sullys come for him this time with the other Metkayina warriors, but he's already freed himself and pretty much killed everyone, and now he's sitting at one of the little consoles teaching Häna about earth things like dogs and chocolate and spanish
Häna won't let Spider be hurt again. it wasn't strong enoigh the first time. but it is now. and it helps Spider get out. and makes sure everyone that wants to hurt him is gone.
and Spider is... grateful. he doesn't remember any of it. but grateful.
and Häna wants to learn about human stuff. so. computers. they look at pictures of earths space. and "forests", or the charred remains of them, but also what they once looked like. and then they stumbled into memes and music videos. Earth wasn't all bad. just ruined by greed.
"that's why there are no turning wheels. not stones upon stones. no metal of the earth," Häna whispers.
Spider hums.
and then the others find him, and he's ready to go home now. he's tired and sore.
and everyone's a little shocked, but Spider genuinely can't explain.
"I remember getting nabbed and then I got booted out of the drivers seat. this was all Häna."
Cringetober 5 is gijinka, and I also throughuew in a cringe meme.
Note that all cars are religious zealots because-- as it is known-- combustion = prayer (rememberance of Apokatastasis) and the ones that have batteries are chanting in angelic language all the time (sounds like ulululululu) That's why he has a veil of prayer and a mark upon his brow, he also is wounded and filthy because he works relentlessly every day to bring pizzas to the undeserving. I call him Anand and see him as a Karm yogi but IDK. My last car named herself the Queen of Diamonds, was a little crazy and vascillated between polytheistic Mahayana Buddhism and a kind of arcane medieval catholicism that was equally concerned with method, images & archetypes, & sacred feminine, but she went bac 2 the wheel of time because her oil delivery system broke
