#merlin shitpost

[count-pudding]

Merlin's thoughts

[moonthemagical]

in court physician gaius voice: merlin, it is absolutely imperative that you make arthur pendragon fall in love with you. it is your destiny merlin. i am aware that it shall be a nigh-impossible task, but the future of the kingdom rests on your shoulders. i believe in you merlin.

[steve-needs-a-hug]

[vik-the-prik]

My friend requested I doodle Merlin so

There he is

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

The Knight’s cooking skills:

Lancelot: *master chef but doesn’t enjoy cooking unless it’s for other people*

Percival: *knows a few recipes and enjoys cooking*

Elyan: *can follow a recipe but will end up improving some parts he didn’t understand. Comes out edible most of the time*

Leon: *made toast once, considers himself able to cook with no evidence to back it up and whenever he tries he’s seconds away from burning it*

Gwaine: *banned from the kitchen*

[honeylemonntea]

[tongjaitongjai]

CrypticGod!Merlin and Worshipper aka fanboy Mordred CRACK AU - Part 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Merlin learns that being a god in semi-mortal form is very difficult when having a strong follower like Mordred.

Mordred, like many who pray to their god as some kind of anchor, will often pray something along the lines of ‘Emrys, give me strength and courage’ or ‘Emrys, please be with me through this difficult time’ unconsciously.

Except, unlike the normies, his commitment and belief are EXTREMELY STRONG, so when he prays strong enough, HIS GOD ACTUALLY SHOWS UP:

Arthur, charging him during sparring: Come on, Mordred! You can do better than this!!

Mordred: (anxiously praying) Emrys helps me

Merlin, suddenly appears between Arthur and Mordred, with Arthur about to smash him with the sword: THE FUCK—

Obviously, he is banned from praying during sparring, but occasionally Merlin will still pop up out of nowhere when he is anxious, and the knights eventually have to get used to it:

Arthur: Today, the neighbouring kingdom’s knights will join us for the practice, and there will be some competitions. I hope all of you are ready to protect and uphold the honour of Camelot’s knights. Any defeat is unacc—-

Arthur:

Arthur: any defeat is understandable, for one must lose before learning true victory, so please don’t get too stressed, especially you, Mordred.

Mordred: How do you know I am stressed?

Gwaine, carrying Merlin, who pop up above his head the moment Arthur said ‘defeat’, on his neck : Yeah, I wonder how

As their relationship improves, the power of Mordred’s prayer gets stronger. Not only can Merlin feels his emotions and more in-depth thoughts through the prayer, it also affects Merlin’s power, in both endearing and also straight-up ridiculous ways.

Lancelot, whispers: You are very upset because of that Lord Asshole’s shitty comment toward the Druids, aren’t you.

Mordred, calm and composed: No, I am a knight of Camelot and a grown man, I will not be bothered by something so trivial. I am not upset at all.

Lancelot: You aren’t praying to Merlin now are you.

Mordred: How is that relevant?

Merlin: *BARGING INTO THE MEETING* *SHOOTING FIRE BEAMS FROM HIS EYE, DESTROYING THE PATH AS HE WALKS* *GRABBING LORD ASSHOLE BY A COLLAR THEN PROCEEDS TO GERMAN SUPLEX HIM ON THE TABLE*

Arthur, watching this happens for the third time this week:

Arthur: Mordred, we talked about this, you have to express your thoughts and feelings verbally, not by praying to Merlin

Merlin: Don’t force him Arthur! He will talk when he is ready!

Arthur: STOP SPOILING HIM YOU ARE JUST HAPPY YOU GET TO PUNCH NOBLES

Also, when he is extremely happy, he prays to Merlin as well, like ‘Thanks Emrys for all the good fortunes that happen to me today’

Elyan: Arthur complimented Mordred at training today didn’t he? Maybe saying something like ‘you are going to be one of Camelot finest knights soon’

Percival: How do you know??? you were not there today????

Elyan, watching Merlin’s skin glows, not even in an oh so beautiful ethereal way but like a radioactive sun way: It’s .. hard to miss…

The first time Mordred wins a tournament, Merlin radiates for three days straight. His voice also sounds godly with all the weirdly smooth echoes and harp melody complimenting his every word. Mordred is exhilarated. Arthur is going insane. Merlin finally officially bans Mordred from praying to him.

[bagmanunlucky]

tw/cw: past psychiatric hospitalization/suicidal ideation (but make it silly!!)

"AO3? the thing that killed my best friend??"

best friend in question: my will to live when i was in a psych ward while HALFWAY through @katherynefromphilly’s masterpiece “And Like the Cycle of the Year We Begin Again.”)

bright side that came out of this was being able to cry over fictional gays as loud as i wanted because, legally, no one could stop me (also padded rooms were limited iykyk).

Uther is American's trying to get healthcare. Gaius is Big Pharma. Off screen somewhere I'm Merlin, counting ceiling tiles like they held the secrets of the Once and Future King.