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okay listen up bitches enola holmes movie review in the shittiest way possible.

sorry for my bluntness i promise i’m not this rude anywhere else. maybe tumblr brings this out in me.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT MY DIVISION.

anyways what you’re reading for

i just watched enola holmes and phew boy i have things to share

so to start. the movie starts off super promising. color palate is lovely. the clothes are really cool.

and soon, i’m bitching about henry cavill(?) being a shitty sherlock. i apologize for being so candid, but it’s my opinion. i get people are like “he’s so hawt” (not my type lmfao) but he doesn’t have this certain air about him. maybe i’m biased towards beryllium cowdenbeath, but i also liked rdj’s interpretation of the character. he was lacking something. maybe the gay aura. maybe the cool self-assuredness. idk

okay next. i hated mycroft’s character. but maybe that’s the point. he was a misogynistic byotch and i generally hated him. so good on the movie-makers for making such an unlikeable character.

they had lestrade in it ofc but ʷʰᵃᵗ ʰᵃᵖᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳᶦᵗᵉ “ⁿᵒᵗ ᵐʸ ᵈᶦᵛᶦˢᶦᵒⁿ” ˡᵉˢᵗʳᵃᵈᵉ⁻⁻

lots of the abominable bride vibes

ALSO WHERE THE FAWK WAS WATSON AND MY GAY SUBTEXT I WAS READY TO THROW HANDS--

so some good points about the movie:

bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi pa

tewksbury’s hair. of course they cut it. it framed his face beautifully. why

louis partridge and millie bobby brown mmm very good

enola cried multiple times and if that isnt an accurate representation of being a sixteen(16) year old is idk what is

but she picked herself up and was also a badass. amazing

breaks the fourth wall really well

roles reversed. the boy needed saving while the girl kicked ass lmfao

complaining about corsets

tewksbury (hot hot hot hot hot hto hot hot tht htoth tot) sniffled and dabbed his eye YES NORMALIZE MEN CRYING PLSSSSSS

*ahem*

yeah it dealt with feminism from the 1800s and that’s amazing and the movie really shows how similarly feminism is looked at in 2020 by offended m--*train goes by* yeah so if you’re mad about the feminism in this movie stfu bitc--

bellatrix

aunt petunia

aunt petunia having the hots for mycroft lmfao

enola was super smart and salty; things i value in a character

the relationship between enola and sherlock was rocky, but through the movie you can see that relationship sprout into a bud.

yesssss edith was such a badass. the badassery. she going off at sherlock. yasss queen. ⁽ᶦ ᵃᵐ ˢᵒ ᶜʳᶦⁿᵍᵉʸ ᶦ ᵃᵐ ˢᵒ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᶠᵒʳᵍᶦᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵗᵘᵐᵇˡʳ⁾

feel free to add more. idk what to say about this movie. it was okay to me but super charming, adorable, and full of cliches. and i promise you you will gay panic at least 5 times. ⁽ᵗᵉʷᵏˢᵇᵘʳʸ'ˢ ʰᵃᶦʳʳʳʳ ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈˢ⁾ ⁽ᵐᶦˡˡᶦᵉ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᶦⁿᵏ ᵈʳᵉˢˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʰᶦᵗᵉ ᵈʳᵉˢˢ ᵗᵒʷᵃʳᵈˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉⁿᵈ *ᶦⁿʰᵃˡᵉˢ*⁾

so sometimes while watching i would think hurry tf up you 2 hrs long-- and other times i’d be absorbed in the movie. so if you have 2 hours to kill or need something to watch while drawing or crocheting or something, you should give it a go.

lmfao bye

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