Who the FUCK choose James Potter to be the mother of the group?! Have you seen the man?!?!? He has an attention spam of a five year old and caught angsty fever from Sirius. He has creepers and jitters from ADHD. As a representative of this group, I am here to announce that we lack basic survival skills. HE would be the friend that jumps from the window and your mother questions you if you'd do the same. Plus he actively ignores his bisexual nature. HE IS NOT READY TO TAKE CARE OF OTHER MENTALLY UNSTABLE QUEER TEENAGERS. While we are at it, none of them are. Lily and Minnie are the ones who keep them alive. And it's still a miracle they all died after 20.
Warnings: mention of afterlife/ taking place in the afterlife, mentions of old bullying, Sirius being the usual hothead, our favourite Gryffindor head of house dead.
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Authors Note:
A special one for @lovenonymously I saw your reblog and the tags. I hope you like it!
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"Minnie! I'm so glad you could make it." Sirius Black grinned, with a teacup in hand. His long fingers and large palm made the little porcelain cup look petite. It was eggwhite, rose pink flowers scattered across as a motive.
"Dear Merlin. I'm with you in life and now I'm stuck with you after it." She groaned half heartedly.
"What's the latest news? It's kinda hard to keep up." James Potter smirked, handing his old teacher a cup, steam rolling out of it.
"How's Harry?" Lilly Potter smiled at the lone thought of her boy.
"Yeah, how's Potter?" Fred smiled at his old head of house.
"He's got three children you know?" Minevra let the warm water to her lips.
"Three?? That boy's producing more than he can handle then!" Sirius blurted out.
"There, there Padfoot. Show the man some respect." Remus Lupin calmed, the messy brown locks sprawled over the much taller man's shoulder, head resting on his chest.
"What's their names?" Albus Dumbledore couldn't help but show his curiousness as always.
"The eldest boy, is named James Sirius Potter." Minevra said in her usual tone.
"Awesome!" James exclaimed, proudly looking over at his wife.
"Hear that Moony? Sirius! He remembers!" He grinned happily.
"Albus Severus Potter."
"Hear that Severus? You've got a precessor." Dumbledore hummed, secretly pleased.
"Why was I grouped with you?" Severus sneered slightly. "Who even names their child 'Albus'?" He muttered ever so slightly.
"And Lily Luna Potter." McGonagall ended.
"Wow, poor Ginny. She really didn't get much to say, did she?" Lilly said, a light tiny of pink on her face. Her son, her boy, her Harry had named her grandchild after her. She almost squeeled out in joy.
"Why'd he put down silver beard's name and snivelling snivellus name but not my Remy??" Sirius burst out.
"Sirius, we promised everyone and eachother not to use those names. We're adults." Remus scolded, pulling the seething Sirius back down into the armchair. The small fire place emitted a cozy light. The atmosphere was light and the evening continued with more updates of the living world.
Requested my fav friend who still sent in an anonymous request đđ: âHey girlie !!! I love your writing !! Can you please write something where the reader is really REALLY drunk and Severus has to take care of her and she acts really goofy. Thanks !! đ„°â
An: Idk how to feel about this one tbh. Writing a drunk reader is sooooo hard omg!! And this also became wayyyyy longer than my usual hcs⊠so yea đ. But tell me how you feel about it and if you enjoyed it đ€·đœââïž!! â€ïž
Pairing: Severus Snape x Reader
Words: 3.5k
- Severus Snape prided himself on many things
- He was one of the best potioneers the wizarding world had ever seen
- His ability to act as a double agent and deceive the Dark Lord well enough to be in the highest ranks
- Of course, one couldnât forget how calm and collected he could appear to be even in the face of danger
- Yes, Severus was good in many things that required him to keep his composure
- Except, you being absolutely hammered
- It was a Saturday night - more specifically the night after the famous Gryffindor vs Slytherin quidditch match
- Gryffindor had won and, Dumbledore being his usual self, had decided to throw a staff party in celebration. Hagrid had openly shown his excitement for the triumph, and Minerva overtly boasted to Severus and bragged quite proudly
- The night had started at a fast pace, everyone was ready for an enjoyable weekend. Some people were conversing, others were enjoying the snacks, but you - along with three others - had started a friendly competition
- You shouldâve stopped at the 3rd shot, or the 5th, or definitely the 17th; but now you were 23 shots in. Your head was swimming and you felt like you could walk on water at the moment
- Youâd promised this was going to be your last round but you were losing and already dreading the bitter taste of Firewhisky. Minerva had an all too cocky smirk on her face and you mentally cursed the witch. The urge to openly hex her became stronger when she placed down a 10-J-Q-K-AâŠ
- Royal Flush
- âFucking hell.â You groaned
- âRead them and weep.â Sheâd simpered. âI must say, Y/n, your persistence impresses me.â
- You mumbled something inaudible and she asked you to speak again, âY-youâre just lucky I wasnât trying to p-play to win.â
- âSo whaâ were yeâ playinâ fer?â Hagrid asked
- You tried to think of something but you were dizzy and the answers werenât coming out of your mouth.
- Without missing a beat, Severus spoke for you, âIf you could refrain from asking Y/n questions right now, that would be appreciated.â The drawl of his voice made you feel warm. âIâm going to get your cloak.â
- You nodded and let your head loudly fall on the table
- You didnât know how long it would be before he came back, but you were certain that you had enough time to take a small nap. Cuddling closer to the table and hugging yourself felt so good as you felt the comforting embrace of sleep creep upon you. You felt yourself smile as you dozed off
- âY/n.â Severus shook you. âY/n, wake up.â He repeated. Seeing as that wasnât working, Severus shook your shoulder rather harshly, emitting a groan and fluttering eyes from you
- You squinted at the bright lights, âWhat day is it?â You dumbly questioned
- âNovember 12thïżŒ,â he scoffed. âThe same day as it was before I walked off. Come on.â
- You nodded and abruptly stood up. You instantly regretted it when the heavy sensation of spinning rushed through you. Your balance was off and you were having trouble standing still. You tried taking a brave step forward and would have immediately toppled over if Severus hadnât quickly grabbed your arm.
- âBe careful.â He warned you. âThe last thing we need is you falling and injuring yourself.â
- ââM not a child, S-Severus. I know how to walk-k.â You shook him off of you, feeling confident in your ability to walk. Again, reality had checked you when you felt yourself lean dangerously to the side. This in turn made Severus roll his eyes and help you as you two left.
- You were in a buzzed state of feeling. You were well past tipsy and now there was almost a faint tingling feeling in your core body. Sounds were currently a bit blurred together through no fault of your own, and you heard everyone speaking louder. It made sense because surely everyone was having a hard time hearing over the steadily rising music.
- Your inhibitions were reduced at this point, you felt your body moving to the beat and pulled away from whatever had a hold on you. You danced to the dance of sound that was lowly playing in your head and knew in your heart that you looked amazing while doing so. You were unaware of everyone hiding their snickers at your lopsided dancing and offbeat sways.
- You opened your eyes as you spun around, seeing your colleagues staring amusingly at you, and smiled in return. You slowed down and started a rhythmic rock in time with the music and noticed Dumbledoreâs mouth moving while he looked at you. You nodded slowly and happily, agreeing with whatever he was saying.
- âAlbus,â you heard a muffled version of Severus voice. âI would prefer it you not speak to my girlfriend while sheâs intoxicated.â
- âOh, Severus, heâs merely having fun,â Minerva interjected. âLeave him be.â
- âOf course youâd say that, youâre the reason sheâs like this.â He argued.
- Severus, nor the other two, had been paying attention when you walked off closer to another Professor. It wasnât until Hagrid had interrupted their conversation, telling them that youâd gone and gotten relatively comfortable with Professor Quirrel.
- They all watched - Severus indulging for just a bit - as you danced around Quirrel, nudging him closer to you and pushing into him. You gave him a goofy grin while wrapping your arm around his torso and twirling the both of you to the beat. The poor man looked nervous and you looked unsteady when you stopped spinning.
- Due to your equilibrium being off balance, you tried to steady yourself. Thatâd failed as soon as you grabbed onto Quirrel and used him to catch your wobbly form. You pulled onto the front of his robes, and because he hadnât caught you in time, you fell forward, knocking him into someone else and making those two fall instead of yourself.
- âS-sorry,â you slurred. âI didnât see y-you there.â You drunkenly giggled, finding the ordeal amusing. You covered your mouth at the angry faces from the fallen victims.
- You looked over and up when you felt your upper arm being pulled, âLetâs go.â Severus ordered.
- You shook your head in return, âI donâ want.â
- He raised an eyebrow at your seemingly finished sentence, âWeâre leaving, Y/n.â He firmly stated. Youâd started pulling his hand as he dragged you along and childishly tried shaking it off of you, âStop it, Y/n.â
- âNo, l-let me goooo.â You whined.
- He felt you trying to weigh yourself down and grabbed your waist. âYouâre acting like a child, Y/n. Quit it.â
- Something in you made you drop to the floor in encouragement at his words. Your sudden movement made Severus jump in surprise and he let go of your waist in order not to fall with you.
- âGet up.â He told you, voice leaving no room for argument.
- You humphed in defiance, sitting on the floor with your arms crossed, âI d-donât want toooo! The fa-loor is my f-friendâŠâ
- Pinching the bridge of his nose, Severus bent down to your level, âY/n, get off of the floor and up here before I do it myself.â He warned. He watched as you ignored him and made a move to get up and run. You werenât going to let him stop you from having fun.
- He sighed and, ignoring the entertained crowd, picked you up and over his shoulder. He overlooked your whines and pleas to let you down, as well as the feeling of your fists lightly hitting his shoulder in demand to let go of you. They werenât hurting him and you werenât that hard to carry, despite your body being slightly heavier due to your drunken state.
- Heâd ignored Albus and Minervaâs gleaming eyes and barely suppressed snickers as he quickly strolled past them, he didnât have time to acknowledge them with how much you were squirming to get down.
- When heâd reached the large oak doors of the staff room, Severus stopped just outside of them while they closed. âIf you stop hitting me, I will let you down.â He offered. He felt you nod and shook off what he thought was a little sniffle.
- Though, when heâd put you down, he couldnât deny that it looked like youâd been crying. He set you over to the side and cradled your face, âDarling, whatâs wrong?â
- âI- I wanted to stayyyyy.â You sobbed. âYou s-said that I had to get up and t-that we were leavingggg.â You continued on, âIjustwantedtostaySev. Why couldnât we s-stay!â
- Still reeling from the fact that you were actually crying, he tried answering your hysterical questions, âYouâre drunk, Y/n. Surely you arenât upset about not staying?â
- âOf c-course I am!â You stomped. You swayed a little at your own sudden movement and stopped his hand from helping you, âYouâre the reason âm sad!â
- He sighed. âHow about I get you back to your chambers, help you get dressed for bed, and we sleep the sadness off?â
- âAm I ugly?â You suddenly asked.
- Severus was surprised at the question, âWhat? No! Why would you ask something like that?â
- You shrugged sadly, âYou n-never say no to me, a-and now you did. Itâs j-just⊠you think Iâm u-uglyâŠâ You broke out into another wailing fit, startling Severus completely.
- âY/n, you are the most amazing woman Iâve ever met.â He assured you.
âSo you do think Iâm ugly!â You cried.
- âI didnât say that!â He exasperated. He let out a tired breath, âI think youâre the most bewitching woman Iâve ever known.â He promised you, sealing the swear with a kiss on each cheek.
- You smiled shyly (something Severus found endearing) but it quickly vanished when you remembered you set your wand down. âMy wand! âs on⊠table.â
- âWhy would you forget your wand?â
- A hiccup escaped you, âI was playing a game, you⊠d-dunderhead.â
- Severus rubbed his face in frustration at your actions. He wasnât upset, but he was becoming annoyed. âIâll be right back. Stay⊠right⊠here.â You weâre about to protest, âI mean it, Y/n⊠do not move.â He commanded.
- âI get it, f-father.â You sarcastically replied. Seeing that you were going to listen, he stood up and left you there.
- You were quiet for a minute before deciding that you werenât done speaking to him. You got up on shaky knees and looked for him. You were moving too fast for your inebriated mind and your vision swam while trying to focus. Your eyes spotted a figure and you squinted to make out Severusâ form. You thought heâd gone back into the staff room, but apparently he hadnât. It almost confused you how he was near the other side of the wall.
- âYou k-know what, Sev?âÂ
- No response
- âIâm a grown⊠w-woman, if I want to drink, then that is myyyy prerogative. Who are you to tell me otherwiseâŠâ you swayed side to side
- No response.
âOh, loosen up, S-Sev. Youâre such an uptight ass⊠you donât get laid enough. M-maybe I should re⊠medy t-that.â You smirked - or at least tried to - and waited for his witty response.
- Yet nothing came
- He continued to stand there and look at you as if you were one of his students. You hated that look. It was one of the blandest yet fiercest looks he could give someone and it infuriated you.
- âWould you stop staring at me like a damn sta⊠tue!â You shrieked.
- âI would if that was me.â Severusâ voice came from behind you⊠right where the doors to the room were. âI see youâre making friends, darling.â
- You squinted at the real Severus then back to what you thought had been him. The figure was actually a tall knight statue, one that was holding a sword and shield.
- âWhen you said I was your white knight, I hadnât thought you meant so⊠literally.â
- Heâd walked over to you, going to hand you your wand but deciding against it with your current state. He was forced to hold you at an arms length when youâd started to try and excessively hug him, proclaiming how much you loved him because of it
- Severus had thought that getting you to stop crying was tiring, but it compared nothing to trying to get you back to your chambers
- Safely
- The constant winding and moving of the stairs had knocked your balance off even more
- Severus had to catch you several times
- The last time, he made sure to keep an arm securely around your waist. You giggled the entire way there and he was trying not to find amusement at your stumbling about
- It appeared that he was going to get you back to your chambers far later than he liked. And when youâd reached the hall, youâd gotten the sudden urge to be rather loud. The alcohol that had just been festering was now hitting you full force
- âS-Sev, dance with me.â You stammered
- âNo.â came his clipped reply
- âPleaseeee.â You pleaded. Not even a man like himself could deny that look
- Severus sighed and rolled his eyes, âOne dance.â He said.
- The âdanceâ was horrible. You stumbled over your own feet and stepped on his at the same time, you pulled on his robes to steady yourself, and at the end, youâd ended up falling and bringing him with you
- âDammit, Y/n, get up!â Severusâ patience had left by now
- âNo, thank-k you. Me and fa-loor⊠fr-fiendsâŠâ you felt yourself getting sleepy and wanted nothing more than to stay there, âRight, fa-loorâŠ?â
- âBlasted woman.â Severus had half a mind to drag you to your room and with the way you were behaving, the idea sounded better than anything
- âBlAsTeD wOmAnâŠâ you mocked him, giggling to yourself
- âStop itâ he told you
- âStOp ItâŠâ
- âY/n!â
- ây/N!â
- Having had enough, Severus conjured a silencing charm on your mouth. He shook his head when he saw you moving your mouth.
- You didnât like not being able to hear yourself and soon Severus noticed that it looked like you were screaming
- âStop it and Iâll end the spell.â He bargained, taking the spell off when you nodded slowly
- As soon as the spell ended, you screamed bloody murder
- âAhhhhhhh!â You yelled at the top of your lungs, âSOMEBODY H-HELP MeEeEeEeee!â
- Severus quickly put his hands over your mouth but it did nothing to muffle your shouting and he was worried that youâd wake up everyone at Hogwarts in a matter of seconds
- You writhed wildly beneath his hand but he still held onto your mouth. The next thing you did, was lick his palm with a big amount of saliva
- Itâd given you the reaction youâd wanted and he quickly retracted his hand from your mouth, wiping his hand with the nastiest scowl heâd ever given you
- He stalked closer towards you and you squeaked out a noise of surprise. You quickly stumbled to your feet, getting up, and running off
- Running while intoxicated felt so good to you. It was harder and your breathing felt heavier, but the pain felt good in an odd sort of way and you wanted to feel more of it
- So you picked up your speed
- Severus knew that alcohol dehydrated you and also running while dehydrated was not exactly good for your body, so he moved in quick strides to catch up with you
- Why you were running as fast as you were, he didnât know; and your rapidly increasing speed was worrying him. So much so, that he too was now fully running just to catch up with you
- You hadnât been paying attention - how could you? The part you were advancing on had an imbalanced portion on the stone floorïżŒïżŒ and it had been too late
- Your foot skidded across the hump and you flew frighteningly high into the air and back down
- Severus released an audible sigh and a layer of worry marred his face
- âY/n⊠Y/n?â He approached you, voice gentle as he spoke. âMerlin, Y/n, say something!â
- He resisted the tempting urge to snidely ask you if the fa-loor was still your friend but refrained from doing so
- You rolled over onto your back with a wide smile and looked up at your boyfriendâs angry expression
- This time, he didnât say anything. He grabbed your hand, making sure you had a firm grip on him, before he pulled you up and ushered you to your room. He didnât give you time to argue or say no
- Finally reaching your chambers, he let go of you and watched you wobble in
- âGo sit on the sofa while I find your sleepwear.â
- âMânot tir-redâŠâ you stepped away from him
- You didnât feel like walking anymore, so you dropped to your knees and started crawling. Youâd just made it to your room before you collapsed and fell onto your stomach with a hard âhumphâ
- âI would prefer youâd lie in your bed, but that works tooâŠâ Severus remarked
- Your lips mumbled a response into the ground, âSleep-pyâŠâ
- âI know, darling,â he replied. âAll I ask is for one moment.â
- Severus was quick to get your clothes so that you could properly rest, but when he came back into the room, you werenât there
- He was getting ready to search when he heard your piercing scream reverberate through the walls, âS-SEVERUSSSS!â Running swiftly on his two feet, he rushed to find you
- What heâd seen when he got there was laughable
- You were hiding behind one edge of the mirror and looking frightened⊠while also stark naked
- âWhat⊠What are you doingâŠ?â Severus struggled to keep his composure
- You rushed him over to you with a frantic hand and relaxed when he obeyed. âThereâs a-a woâŠman over thereeeeâŠâ
- This made him snicker, âReally?â
- âYes⊠and she keeps miming me, l-like I did witâ you.â
- âMimicking, darling.â He corrected. âI think she left, care to come out now?â
- âOnly if sheâs g-gone.â You agreed.
- He inclined his head and offered you his hand but you saw the woman again. Instead of jumping back, you glared at her and crossed your arms
- âS-stop copy-ying me!â You demanded
- âS-stop copy-ying me!â She demanded
- You placed your hands on your hips, âI said s-stop itâŠ!â
- She placed her hands on her hips, âI said s-stop itâŠ!â
- You looked at Severus in an incredulous manner and failed to notice his amused chuckle, âMake h-her stop!â
- She looked at Severus in an incredulous manner and failed to notice his amused chuckle, âMaker h-her stop!â
- âSweetheart, she is your reflection.â He informed you.
- You looked back at the woman - yourself - and studied her. Through your hazy mind, you could make out the similarities: your hair, your eyes, your figure
- Maybe she was you
- But the constant copying your every move was rather annoying
- âCome, letâs get you dressed.â
- You turned back to look at your reflection and swore you saw her wink at you, but Severus hadnât reacted so you ignored it
- Youâd both left the bathroom and by the time you reached your vast canopy bed, you felt exhausted
- But you were hanging onto your last bit of energy by a thread, âWanna see me s-wing off thisâŠ?â
- âIâd rather not.â Severus shot that idea down. âStand still so I may put on your gown.â
- Heâd dressed you expeditiously in case you acted against it but calmed when he realized you were falling asleep while standing
- Softly ushering you to the bed, he helped you slide in. He watched as you got comfortable and snuggled deeper into the sheets, but you didnât look satisfied just yet
- He waited until he saw your breathing even out, stepped away from his spot, and readied himself to walk out
- He hadnât been able to do that, because your soft voice caught his attention, âStay with me⊠p-please?â You untucked yourself from the covers and looked up at him with big eyes
- Severus knew he wouldnât have been able to walk away even if the Dark Lord himself ordered him to do so. Your expression was too warm and he couldnât handle being the reason it broke
- âAs you wish.â He too climbed into your bed now
- You still didnât look as content as you could be just yet. So, Severus pulled you into him, cradling the back of your head and, although he wouldnât admit it, cuddled you to his chest
- You smiled with your eyes closed and he knew heâd done the correct thing
- âI love youâŠâ you yawned
- He looked down at you and noticed the peaceful emotion on your face, â⊠I love you too.â
- It had to have been no longer than 20 minutes when you slowly opened your eyes and looked into his. Unsurprisingly - and kind of creepily too - he was already staring down at you
- âIâm happy you stayed, Sev.â Your voice was quiet, and despite you being able to taste the stale, bitter tang of liquor on your tongue, the effects of the alcohol were already easing away
- âWhy is that?â He indulged you
- âSo you can hold my hair back when I sick up in the middle of the night.â You wiggled closer to him now, intertwining your legs with his
- That was okay, heâd dealt with nastier bodily fluids - from an array of ghastly creatures ïżŒ
- He couldnât wait to tell Minerva what youâd done, said, and how you acted tonight
Headcannon that on Christmas one of the muggle born students get a coffee machine and decides to bring it to Hogwarts, cuz they NEED it to function. Within a week, they are running a black market on coffee. Dumbledore and the other teachers say they don't know anything about it, but McGonnagall is always there at 8:00 to pick up her gingerbread latte. And Dumbledore I is always there for his Caramel Macchiato.
