#mood shift

[joluebris]

i love pretty things :)

[anglbby82]

you know what forget my last post fuck everyone i’m the best, bitches just can’t handle my greatness

[ahomeboylives]

nooooo not soup

[musicandrootbeer]

An unedited, stream of consciousness poem:  Mood shift. Written by: Me.

[Stream of consciousness] 

I haven’t been doing my mood journals for a few weeks now. 

I promised my therapist I would,

but I don’t want to write down how I’m feeling every day 

because I know exactly how I’m feeling. 

I feel angry. 

I’m angry at my kindergarten teacher  

for taking away my recess and assuming I was a ‘trouble child’

when I couldn’t sleep through nap time,

or finish my homework, 

or focus when the rest of the class was watching a movie

when the answer was right in front of her. 

I’m angry at my parents 

for having their own lives outside of us, 

and doing the best they could 

instead of noticing I wasn’t okay, 

when I was so convincing at pretended I was. 

I’m angry at every person 

who has ever said 

‘have you tried meditation?’

I’m angry at my roommates in college 

for calling me a reckless slut 

instead of standing with a woman 

with a friend.

Instead of recognizing my reckless behavior as alarming 

and extremely out of character. 

I’m angry at my best friend 

when I was 19 

for laughing and not seeing a problem 

when he left in the morning

and I was left broken. 

I’m angry at the people 

that made my problems about them

instead of listening to what I was actually trying to say.

I’m angry the psychiatrist 

who sat there as I said I’m scared, 

something is wrong, 

I don’t know what’s happening to me,

and responded by prescribing me over 300 anti-anxiety pills 

because as a woman I just need to calm down, right? 

I’m angry at every man 

who has ever called me a whore 

and still found a way to make me feel like I owed him an apology. 

I’m angry at every man and woman alike 

who has dismissed my pain 

because it made them uncomfortable.

I’m angry at the people who don’t believe me because I’m quiet, 

when the reason I’m quiet is because I’m afraid people won’t believe me. 

I’m angry that it took me 28 years. 

Years of telling multiple male physicians “I’m not okay, something is wrong.” 

Years of mood swings, 

impulsive behaviors, 

and incorrect medication. 

Years wasted cleaning up after harmful decisions that could have been avoided 

if only one person had said 

‘I believe you.’ 

I’m angry at myself for 28 years 

of making myself smaller, 

quieter,

hiding my pain away in the back of my mind 

because for most people listening is inconvenient. 

I’m angry that I’ve lost the ability to tell 

whether or not my anger is justified, 

or if it’s solely a symptom of my hypomania. 

I’m angry that it doesn’t matter that I finally have answers, 

or that I’ve made the decision to speak out for myself, 

for women, 

for mental illness,

for my brothers and sisters with bipolar disorder living in a world

where we are conditioned to think ‘am I really making all of this up?’ 

And I’m angry that there will be someone out there who reads this and says to themselves, 

‘look, it’s another mad emotional woman looking for attention.’ 

I could add to and edit this for hours, 

so I’ll leave it at that 

and hope that one day I’ll wake up 

and have fewer reasons to be angry. 

[kt-cant-focus]

Sebastian’s having so much fun, then he sees that Kurt is there and his face just changes. His face just drops to annoyed/irritated/ugg.

First of all, how dare Kurt take the smile off my child’s face. Secondly, did Sebastian like forget Kurt was there and the reminder ruined his mood for a second? or did Kurt’s uncomfortable staring, demeanor, and just being a wet blanket do that.

I kinda think it’s a mixture of the two. Like Seb was thinking, “Ugh this guy exists and not only is he in the way, but he’s boring af and dragging the mood down. How is this sex-on-a-stick into him?”

(The gif took a ridiculous amount of time to make. Literally an hour or two, no exaggeration for once. I already had a gif of this, but it was apparently to big, so adjustments had to be made. I spent like an hour and a half trying to make it small enough for Tumblr. But the site I was using not being helpful, Tumblr saying that it was still “too big” or that there was an “error”, downloading failures, internet not working, the site I was using being annoying, etc. I eventually gave up and remade the gif from scratch.)

[askyancy]

Nancy, how are you doing? Sorry it's been a while, I've got school and whatnot. How was therapy? I hoped it helped you!

Ok foirst of all. FOIRST OF ALL

Who de FUCK is Nancy!?

youse tryna make fun o me!? YOUSE IS GONNA GET IT

second of all yeah t’erapy went good, got to lay on de couch n all dat was nice. 

[queensparklekitten]

I shuffled my recommended music feed

it played starlight by taylor swift which always gets me daydreaming and caught up in fantasies that i want to live out someday 

followed by safe and sound by taylor swift which i sing to myself whenever i can’t get scary stuff out of my head at night and i’m too terrified to sleep 

followed by teenage dream by katy perry which it took all my effort not to dance and sing along to and just go totally unhinged 

followed by all too well by taylor swift which has caused me to have a crying, room-trashing emotional breakdown earlier this year when the lyrics got a little too real 

followed by stronger by kelly clarkson which is one of my top motivator songs and has made me want to scream the lyrics from a balcony to pwn dickheads in my life 

I have experienced a gazillion different emotions in the space of 20 minutes and 41 seconds 

[hangryandlazy]

di