#mspec tag

[roguealmondfort]

i think i'm gonna just identify as asexual and unlabeled for my main labels. i hate trying to pick labels for my gender and alloromantic orientation bc both seem to change a lot so i'm just saying my gender & alloromantic orientation are unlabeled. and my asexuality is something i love having a label for and is the most important aspect of myself bc of how much i've struggled with accepting it and bc of how it's still so stigmatized, both outside and inside the lgbt+ community, so i love to show pride in it so all of that is why i'm keeping that label

[roguealmondfort]

ok. i'm changing labels and pronouns again (shocking, ik /s). my pronouns are now they/it. my gender is now agender/librafeminine. i'm still asexual but my romantic orientation is now bi lesbian. also still calling myself queer as well.

(i'm also using the labels genderqueer, nonbinary, sapphic, and multioriented as well but the labels above are my main ones)

[roguealmondfort]

ok i lied, i'm actually trying out some labels.

so, first, i'm going back to calling myself bi and i'm also using pan & omni as well bc sometimes i can never decide between them. i'm also using the term diamoric. and i do actually think i'm aspec, specifically grayromantic & graysexual, so i'm calling myself those/grayaroace.

and for gender, i'm calling myself polygender bc i identify with multiple genders. (genders are catgender, agender, neutrois, nonbinary, genderqueer, maverique, demiwoman/nymwoman, & demiman/nymman.)

oh i'm also still using queer as well.

so tldr; queer, polygender, bi/pan/omni diamoric grayaroace.

[roguealmondfort]

ok. i've changed my mind again. i actually don't like leaving my gender and romantic orientation unlabeled bc it feels weird labeling my sexuality but not those things. i'm gonna use catgender as my main gender label bc idk how else to describe how i feel; tbh i've been wanting to try it as a main label for a long time now but i've been too scared of ppl's reactions... but idc anymore lol. and i'm gonna use pomoromantic for my romantic orientation label. (ig that's technically not labeling it but. well i like it lol.) and ofc, i'm still using asexual for my sexuality label. gonna use other labels too but those are the main ones (...for now lol)

[roguealmondfort]

me trying to figure out if i'm actually aspec/not that interested in sex/romance or if i've just convinced myself that i am as a coping mechanism for the fact that i'm 23 y/o and have never had sex/a romantic relationship and likely never would bc i'm too ugly and socially awkward. also me trying to figure out if i'm actually interested in sex/romance or if i'm just trying to convice myself that i am bc society says that everyone should want that stuff and you're broken if you don't. me just being fucking confused af about everything relating to sex/romance and what i want/don't want in general

[roguealmondfort]

i genuinely feel like a lesser person bc i've never had sex or a romantic relationship and i'm not sure if i ever want to or not. if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't, idc. i'm content not actively pursuing that stuff but it feels like i'm doing something wrong bc everyone says/implies that i should desperately want this stuff. and it's not bc i'm aroace (which i thought for a little bit), ik i experience attraction, it's just like, i rarely experience it irl, and actually having sex/romance doesn't sound that appealing to me tbh?? i seriously prefer just fantasizing about it (mostly just with fictional characters). idk... there's something wrong with me 😞

[roguealmondfort]

ik there's nothing wrong with me but sometimes i really do feel like there is something wrong with me sexuality/orientation-wise... idk if i experience romanitc or sexual attraction or not in my everyday life. like, i experience it for fictional characters and actors (tho that's usually an extension of my attraction to whatever character they play) but i don't know if i experience it for ppl i would encounter irl. i think i've had like, only two crushes on ppl ik in my whole life but that was like almost 10 years ago and hasn't happened since.

but also, even if i did experience attraction to ppl ik irl, i don't think i want a romantic relationship or to have sex anyways. i've never been interested in it irl and likely never will. i much prefer just fantasizing about these things and taking care of my ''needs'' myself than actually wanting to have romantic/sexual encounters. granted i have never had any romantic/sexual experiences so maybe idk for sure but like, i don't wanna force myself to try something that i'm not interested in. and if it does end up happening then whatever but i doubt it.

this will probably sound really pathetic and also mean but i don't think i could ever feel attraction to real ppl like i do towards fictional chracters (+ the actors who play them.)

this is why i've started just mostly calling myself queer bc my sexuality/orientation is too fucking complicated. (i mean, there are some labels that i do use but queer is just easiest to say.)

idfk. but i feel like such a freak and a loser for this

[roguealmondfort]

hmm, i think i might be more gray-aro and gray-ace then full on aroace... gonna try calling myself bi grayrose for my main label