#naseehah

[writtenduas]

The best career for a woman is to be the best educator for her children. So women, be passionate about studying religion. Be a role model for your children. One day, when they are asked, 'Who is the best woman you've ever known?' they will answer, "My mother."

[lightup0nlight]

A beautiful reminder.

[ilmtest]

Private Advice

The Salaf, when they intended to advise someone, would counsel them in private. وَكَانَ السَّلَفُ إِذَا أَرَادُوا نَصِيحَةَ أَحَدٍ، وَعَظُوهُ سِرًّا To the extent that some of them said: “Whoever advises his brother privately, that is naṣīḥah (ie: sincere counsel), حَتَّى قَالَ بَعْضُهُمْ: مَنْ وَعَظَ أَخَاهُ فِيمَا بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهُ، فَهِيَ نَصِيحَةٌ، and whoever advises him in public has actually humiliated him.” وَمَنْ وَعَظَهُ عَلَى رُؤُوسِ النَّاسِ فَإِنَّمَا وَبَّخَهُ. Ibn Rajab, Jāmiʿ al-ʿUlūm wa ʾl-Ḥikam 1/225 ابن رجب، جامع العلوم والحكم ١/٢٢٥ https://shamela.ws/book/4268/181 @ilmtest [https://t.me/ilmtest]

[mubosworld]

Ibn al-Qayyim (رحمه الله تعالى) said:

"O you who are patient! Bear a little more, just a little more remains. "

[Al-Fawaa'id pg. 119]

[formyummah]

Personal question for you, how do you speak with and advise those around you in a good way? I find myself to become huffy at times, almost comparable to that older relative that always has something negative to say. When I see family members or relatives, and they are not fulfilling their obligations by Islam, or even doing other negative things, I want to help them. Advice is often met with defensiveness. Its complicated because I'm sure I'm not the most pleasant person, but I do want to help

Assalam alaikom ❤️

This is a great question, although, despite on tumblr I may provide advice - in real life I am the one who is often receiving it from others (may Allah reward them).

I do believe that asking people permission to provide advice or discuss something with them before you mention your topic is important and establishes respect.

Additionally, if you’ve found yourself in the position where people get defensive, you may want to look into the words you choose. Do you say “you” a lot? For example, “you need to wear different clothes. You dress a bad way”. This immediately puts the person in defense mode. Carefully choosing your words with kindness and empathy is essential. Never engage in an argument or get angry (huffy). If you become this way, change the topic.

Overall, I do not provide direct advice unless asked. If I find a loved one who is struggling and I think they may need advice I usually do it in a very nonchalant way. So for example I may bring up a lecture I watched on the topic and discuss its relation to me. I try to make it very not obvious I’m trying to provide information.

Often encouraging people can be better than direct conversation about topics. Ask your friends to attend a halaqa with you because you’re too shy to go alone or want their company. Pray with them, around them. Offer to drive them to jumuah or buy them a dua journal as a gift for Eid. Spark their interest! Watch your behaviors with them and admit your faults to them, asking for support. Compliment their strengths first. These actions can place comfort in your loved one - then, if you truly need to advise them directly it may become easier for them to receive.

The more comfort you provide them and the more they feel you will not judge them - the more likely they are to come to you for help if they’re struggling with a sinful habit.

I would encourage you to consider your approach. I’m sure you’re intentions are pure, MashAllah. May Allah reward you for your efforts. However, we are all human. We become arrogant at times, even in slight ways. Catch your ego often. Know that people are not persuaded by blunt messages. Convey the truth but be kind and empathetic. Ask yourself if you tend to compare others to you and think “I am doing better”. If so, know your approach probably comes off this way. I am not saying you are doing that - but just something to consider as I have met and seen many knowledgeable and committed Muslims whose character lacks as a result of their belief that they are doing the “right” actions and others are misguided.

At the end of the day Allah will guide whom He wills and only Allah can guide us. Making dua for your loved ones and yourself is the best way to introduce positive change.

[al-masturah]

When I go to propose a woman for marriage……

Question:

When I go to propose a young woman for marriage, how should i speak to her in order to know her Aqeedah, fear of Allaah, manners and etiquettes?

Answer:

It is permissible for the proposer to have a look at the one he is proposing but not in seclusion, because the Sunnah has confirmed that from the Messenger of Allaah (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam). And he can ask her and her guardians what he holds important in relation to a beneficial marriage.

——————————

[Source]

[a-wayofthinking]

Your Happiness and Honor is Completely Connected to This Religion

It is incumbent for you to recognize that your happiness and honor is completely connected to this religion, to the obedience of the Lord of everything created, and to adhering firmly to the rulings of this religion and its legislation. It is incumbent for you to recognize that your share and portion of happiness is according to your share and portion of obedience [to Allāh] and adherence [to the religion].

[Book: A Piece of Advice and Amdonition for The Women by Shaykh 'Abd al-Razzāq Ibn 'Abd al-Muḥsin al-'Abbād, p. 10-11 | Translation: Jamīl Finch | Ḥikmah Publications]

[writtenduas]

Ya Allah, bless me and you all with Jannatul Firdaus 🤲🏼