#npd advice

[angelicxchao]

NPD is such a hard topic to research especially when it comes to advice for dating a narcissist because every site and everyone is like “Run before they abuse you!”. Narc abuse is the only thing that exists to these people when it comes to relationships which sucks because I’m trying so hard to help and support my bf but it’s hard not being able to get a clear picture or answer on how to!

I’m getting down on my knees and begging cluster b tumblr for any advice on how to help romantic partners with NPD; what is it that you look or seek from non-NPDs? How do I best support you and understand you? How can I help with making sure you guys feel appreciated and loved in a way that is authentic and not just pandering? I’m extremely open-minded and patient. I only want to be the best for my boyfriend.

[npd-hottakes]

Consider intent before calling someone manipulative.

Instead of accusing someone with npd (or anyone for that matter) of trying to manipulate you, you should instead tell them why what they said might come across as manipulative without being accusatory or condescending. Most people don't realize something they said might be manipulative.

When you just say "this was manipulative and you're a bad person for saying it" they won't know what to change and they'll just pretend to be sorry so you'll leave them alone. It helps no one.

But when you instead say "that unintentionally came across as manipulative because X, I know you didn't mean it and you're not a bad person, but you should say Y instead in the future so people won't misinterpret you" will save both parties from future trouble and is far less likely to offend anyone.

Advice that could've saved so many of my past relationships. A lot of the time all you need is clear communication and boundaries.

[narcdoll]

can you explain what an npd split looks like for the pwnpd? what causes splitting, how it feels like, for how long it usually happens. i found articles about it and read them but most of them werent really insight, just how it looks for other people and how to deal when pwnpd split

splitting for pwnpd is usually triggered by a lack of attention/acknowledgement or supply. for me, when my needs aren’t met and I feel as if I’m not being paid enough attention to/people aren’t acknowledging me, I start splitting. keep in mind everyone’s experiences are unique to their own! these are just a few examples I was able to list that could be the reason behind why someone can begin to split

splits can last for hours to days on end, even weeks. keep in mind it’s completely normal if some of your splits are longer or shorter than others!

It’s pretty hard to explain how it feels when splitting, considering you can split for a numerous amount of reasons. sometimes I feel a gnawing sickness and resentment towards the person/thing I’m splitting over, or Instead I feel empty and numb. it really depends on the person and the reason why you’re splitting in the first place

when I’m splitting, I usually try and find something to distract myself with to get my mind off things. stuff like taking a shower, going outside, cleaning, or watching a comfort show/movie of mine always helps to clear my mind. I understand if this might not be helpful for you, and that’s completely okay! there’s plenty of other ways that you can cope with splitting. sometimes its easier to just release your emotions instead of bottling them up. ripping a piece of paper is probably the safest approach when it comes to releasing your anger. breaking or throwing something (safely) definitely helps, too.

I hope this information is helpful enough to you! I apologise if my wording here isn’t that great, I haven’t had the time to respond to these properly so I’ve been writing these on a bit of a whim. if there’s anything else you’d like answered/need advice with, my inbox is always open and I’m happy to answer them. take care!

[npdvents]

Half venting half asking for desperate advice

I've been in a near constant narc crash state for over six months now, ever since enrolling in college due to the abuse I go through daily + the endless self inflicted pressure to be perfect and get the best grades on everything. Genuinely does anyone have any advice?

Knowing I have NPD is really fresh (only learned last month) and as such I have no idea how to properly deal with this, never in my life have I been able to deal with crashes ofc especially not knowing what they were, but this is one of the worst periods of depression I've ever had. I miss how I used to feel back when I still had any semblance of highs. I'm so lost and so tired of living. What do I even do to recover from such a major crash?

Thank you in advance y'all fellow pwNPD are all amazing, mwahhh 🫶 !!

When it comes to juggling school and NPD crashes I’m genuinely not the one to ask as I dropped out of high school and didn’t know how to juggle school with my other known disorders at the time.

If anyone else has any advice for this person that would be greatly appreciated!

Also, you’re amazing too!! 💖

[wetsuggestion]

How do you handle criticism. My NPD sends me into a rage when I get criticised but I realise it's necessary regardless

criticism is very touchy for me tbh. if it’s someone i view as an equal or my chosen person, then i usually take it into consideration and try not to get angry, hurt, or otherwise overly emotional. most other people, however, i find it very hard to tolerate, even if its ‘gentle criticism’ or whatever. ive gotten better at handling it, though, when i view all criticism as suggestions and totally subjective to what other people think/view/perceive. if you start viewing criticism from other people, regardless of what their rank is, as either a suggestion or just a piece of information, then it becomes a lot easier to take. e.g. if you create a piece of art and someone says 'hey i think the anatomy of that hand is off’ responding with 'thank you, i’ll take that into consideration’ and not thinking about it too much helps a lot for me. another key thing to remember is that if someone is critiquing something you made/created/worked on, theyre not necessarily critiquing You, and that you should try to separate or distance yourself from your work somewhat so it doesnt feel as bad. another thing that helps me take criticism is making sure that my narcissistic supply is topped off. pretty much anything can set me off into a narcissistic rage when my supply is low, but when its higher, i can handle most things with grace in public, and then seethe/vent/whatever about it in private. i hoped this helped a little!!