Dear Evan Hansen in Hogwarts AU (headcanons!!)
(takes place in an “OOPS CONNOR IS ALIVE” au!)
•Jared gets placed in Ravenclaw mainly because of his computer skills and because it’s also a house that holds people who are, well, unique
•Alana is in Slytherin for her determination and ambition, despite wanting to be in Ravenclaw because she’s convinced all the smart people HAVE to be there
•Zoe, tough and independent Zoe Murphy, gets put in Hufflepuff and while everyone else is floored she isn’t the least bit surprised
•Connor gets put in Ravenclaw because again it’s a house that welcomes people who are considered weird or out of the ordinary and we all know Connor has been considered a “freak” by so many people after the second grade printer incident
•And Evan Hansen—the anxious, reserved Evan Hansen—goes to Gryffindor. And everyone goes INSANE. You can even hear Jared from the front of the Ravenclaw table yell “wHAT THE FUCK?” before promptly getting whacked on the head by Connor.
•Alana is absolutely terrified of all the other Slytherins at first because of all the stories she’s heard about Slytherin being a bad house and stuff like that and because of that has trouble settling in
•But then one Slytherin girl befriends her and she realizes that Slytherin isn’t too bad of a house and she starts getting more comfortable with everyone
•Connor and Jared are absolutely pissed to be in the same house and they can’t stand each other and constantly annoy the other Ravenclaws by their bickering
•Alana and the Murphy siblings are pureblood
•Evan finds out that the reason why his dad left him and Heidi when he was younger was because it wasn’t safe for a wizard like him to be out in the muggle world anymore and he had to leave Evan with Heidi because it was safer for him to be away from them
•And he has incredible trouble coping with this and actually takes it against his dad for some time before coming to terms with it
•Zoe is surprisingly taken as a beater for Quidditch
•And he would never admit it but Connor comes to watch every game Zoe’s in
•Connor also watches Zoe’s every single move in Quidditch and will literally murder anyone who even just almost hurts her
•Meanwhile Jared’s a Keeper, and he especially likes Quidditch because “the Quaffle looks like a huge bathbomb, what can be more awesome than that?”
•Alana keeps track of the scores and announces what’s going on and actually got paid once by Connor to focus ONLY on Zoe and what’s happening to her during a Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor match
•Connor was seriously also ready to beat Jared up after he accidentally injured Zoe
•"Connor, it’s just a bruise!!“ “ITS HIS FAULT I’LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM ZOE HE BETTER APOLOGIZE TO YOU OR THAT MOTHERFUCKER WILL HEAR FROM ME”
•During classes, Evan absolutely loves Herbology and is quite obviously the teacher’s favorite as he knows all about any type of magical plant
•Because of this he’s barely afraid of the whomping willow as well
•Which, of course, amazes everyone because the whomping willow is basically like a tree from the depths of hell
•Connor also does incredibly well at Defense Against the Dark Arts and just blows everyone away after acing practically every homework, test, lesson and essay there is to the class
•Alana is a huge Potions nerd, and she loves measuring and computing for all the ingredients needed to make a certain concoction and she always stays up late in the Slytherin common room with that one good friend she has trying to figure out how to do a certain tricky potion
•Jared, meanwhile, amazes everyone at Transfiguration. He even somehow learned how to turn into a mouse within his first year
•However he wasn’t very lucky when Connor transformed into a cat and started chasing him in rat form
•He got injured with claw marks all over his body in human form and had to go to Evan to get some healing herbs applied to his wounds
•"That hurts, Evan.“ "Sorry, just bear with it for a little longer please.” “It burns like the fires of hell.” “How do you know what the fires of hell feel like?” “Hansen, I’m the insanely cool Jared Kleinman. I’ve been through hell and back and still managed to look dashing and I still maintain my awesomeness.”
(More hogwarts au headcanons coming soon, maybe even for other musicals. Submit some to me if you have your own. Also feel free to leave an ask recommending which musical I should make hogwarts aus out of. I’m cool with anything as long as I’m into it)