May 27
Set my dissertation defense. July 8 let’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
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Set my dissertation defense. July 8 let’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
It's so sad how abusive supervisors and toxic grad school environments shrink our dreams. I started this doctoral degree wanting to make a difference, do great research, be a good teacher and mentor to my undergrads, and lead my own lab one day.
After almost five years, I don't care about publications or making a scientific breakthrough anymore. Now I just want to make it out of here alive and find a quiet gig in tech where I'm not constantly fighting to be treated like a human being worthy of dignity and resources.
How much has science been set back because potentially solid researchers get stymied by the graduate school process and then bullied out of academia?
waiting to start my viva and I feel like I'm gonna be sick
Let me be honest. I have not been productive today. I'm actually having a very hard time focussing and now the dread of wasted hours sits upon me my chest, heavy.
It's 7 PM and this is what in front of me. Despite being guilt ridden, I'm now going to focus on this hour ahead. Maybe a 2 or 3 if I really feel like it.
What is important however, is breaking down work into smaller chunks- meagre. Say, reading 2 pages in half hour or one hour? Whatever. Just remind yourself to stay focused. Slow is fine. As long as you move ahead.
Happy Monday and have a mindful week everyone.
At a rough point in the PhD progress right now. I don't have any funding, not even from the department, so I'm working for free right now. It feels terrible.
I just want to get this degree and go, you know?
Literature review
Custom textbooks are supposed to be cheaper ($200) when compared to the cost of purchasing multiple mandatory textbooks ($150 + $150).
#AcademicChatter
Everyone warned me that PhDs are hard and there will inevitably be times when nothing is going right and you don’t know why, but I always believed that things would work out in the end. Nobody warned me about the crushing disappointment you feel when you have to stop working and just write what you’ve got, and you haven’t achieved anything that you originally hoped to. And I know this is not a unique experience.
I foolishly thought I was going to contribute something useful to research, but in the end all I’ve done is improve my own skills. Not that that is a bad thing, but in my mind it now seems like the last 4.5 years was an entirely selfish endeavour. I feel so weighed down by disappointment in myself, and all I can do is keep working and try to finish and pass with what I have.