#plural journal

[hive-in-a-mind]

the map has grown since it's first iteration. we love tryna communicate

also peep the new blog graphics :3

[northyne]

Youuu know what? I'd like to thank Tumblr for making me pro endogenic. Thankyou everyone who helped me change my beliefs about systems. Its truly wonderful to know what its like to be pro endo for over a year now.

[casuallyplural]

So glad we didn’t use Simply Plural, but we still are trying to figure out something better than just using PluralKit on discord for logging members. If anybody has suggestions for keeping track of headmates, whether it’s

- online - offline - digital - physical - apps - notebook systems - lists of info to track on members - tips for remembering to check in - templates - Obsidian templates/functions/plugins/whatever - or anything else,

Please let us know!! <3

[thestarrynightcoalition]

Eek! We've been on a break but m just finished my about me page in our journal so m wanted to share!!!

[mellifluous-sys]

Heres our notebook, everyone! ^_^

I love these stickers, really fun to decorate everything with them

[guywithvoices]

on dissociation

i wish i had gotten to talk more about dissociation with my psychologist when i went to one. it happens seemingly at random, no sense to it. its meant to be a response to a trigger, so why does it not tie to anything?

recently i made some toast. cool, great, lets add some food on it and eat it, wonderful. i was making it, and at some point everything was further away. like i was taller than i truly am, like my hands are too far away, there was a change. seeing through a camera that's held just a bit too far away to match my eyes. part of me wonders if that is what some people call an out of body experience, just from the view alone. i wasnt thinking of anything specific, doing anything specific, and yet a good seven minutes or so of feeling vaguely 'out of it' later, and i snapped back to, none the wiser.

i can zone out to music, but thats a distinctly different experience. its a choice, it makes sense, there is a cause and it feels logistical: there's a lot of noise for my brain to tune into, often loud and chaotic and busy, so my brain doesnt manage to think its own thoughts, and i 'fade out'. that is natural.

what does not feel natural is sitting on a bus, and suddenly feeling vacant. like im nowhere and everywhere all at once. knowing logically that of course the world is real, but the more honest part of my subconscious knowing that if i looked close enough, the tree would be pixels, atoms, noise, that nothing is real. it does not feel natural to sit there, brain completely empty as if im in a vacuum, and feel an urge to cry, yet no urges at all, to forget to blink and forget to see, yet feel like im seeing all at once and only wanting to close my eyes.

and why does that happen? whats the reason? not overstimulation, i know my own cues there. no triggers that have repeated. so what's with that?

im of the opinion that the brain experiences everything it does for a reason. things can feel absurd, but there's a logic, an impulse, a reaction to something. but why? why on the bus, why when making toast? i understand it when something happens, but more often than not, im snapped into a realization that oh, yes, everything is not like it should be. and then im snapped out, and i just try to act like nothing, because if i think about it too hard then ill only freak myself out.

i wish i knew what to do, how to stop it. grounding this, grounding that. i still breathe slow, i still stand and feel my legs on the ground. but how can i feel real when theres nothing in my mind, when the world around me is static, when my hands are not my own and im too far away? i dont understand it, and i wish i did, so that i could stop it all.

[viverelyka]

I've written so many pages in our journal today just writing down everything I know about the general dynamics of our headspace and going into detail about the different aspects of it...

4 hours have gone by in the blink of an eye and I haven't even started working on our actual dynamics, layouts or packs yet...

[plural-archivist]

I'm finally adding an archive of my headmates on a small binder I bought yesterday. For now I finished four out of twelve members, which, not bad for a single day! I will be done in less than a week! Once I finish transferring the info on everyone, I will download a profile picture for everyone and buy stickers to decorate the pages. I will also paint with colors and markers, it will be fun! And then I will stop worrying about simply plural shutting down!