northern winged

ㅤ ㅤ‏۶ৎㅤㅤi wasnt born to be a tumblr user, but here we are. ₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊ northyneㅤ/ㅤwingedisciple faithㅤ/ㅤwing ૮ ྀིᴗ͈ . ᴗ͈ ྀིა sheㅤ/ㅤtheyㅤ/ㅤaer femaleㅤㅤbisexual complex plural system introject & masc heavy traumagenic neurogenic my stances will make you angry :) ADHD/GAD/MDD/OCD dysautonomia :/ undiagnosed PNES we are collectively Christian, let it be known that we are Disciples of Christ. digital artistㅤ/ㅤmodeller & animator music makerㅤ/ㅤsong/poem writer self-proclaimed professional kandi crafter lovekurousa #1 breakcore FAKE TYPE. #1 jpop interests: psychology, language study [japanese, zchech], plurality, 2D / 3D art, moralism and justification, web graphics

[northyne]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤnorthyneㅤ／ㅤfaithㅤ／ㅤhanami

ㅤㅤㅤㅤinfpㅤ8w9ㅤ✝ㅤambivertㅤchristian

ㅤㅤㅤㅤdni + byi

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[redtsundere-pngs]

we are what we read

[just-a-joey]

Based off a post on Twitter (Two Time and survivor ITrapped)

[spaghettihell]

Reblog to hug prev

Please

[northyne]

I don't want it to exist. this pain of being me, because I don't think it should. It's not a holy experience. It aint even good; just something that is. it is too human to bare. I dont need this. I dont need to be me, but i am.

[northyne]

Wow, okay, I'm sorry for all the incoherency of my last post. Nooot what I had intended; you see. I'm fucked up in the head over something nonexistent right now.

It's not nonexistent. Huh? Huh??

[northyne]

something that wasn't on my checklist today! have a crazy anxiety attack, scream and cry into my blanket about being a system, and talk to God nonstop asking why he created me this way; i am always trying to be someone i am not. i am created and i can go back. i can go back right guys. i dont actually have an insystem family. im stuck between being My Self amd being My Self in the middle where nobody can see me. i cant be seen. im crying, Lord, why am i this way? why do i say sorry when i cant change this, change myself? i have convinced myself that when i look in the mirror, this is the face i am supposed to recognize, that im supposed to take care of this body.. i cannot even take care of my wellbeing. who am i? all i have is an identity to my name which is not mine and never will be

i hate america. is that why im here? yeah? i hate being here. i want to be there instead, all the time, trying to escape this place without moving a foot. like Lord, take me to Japan please! make all my issues go away, lord. This migraine hasnt gone away, thats the least of my worries! move people's hearts Lord. Allow peace at the end of all of this. i have so much work to do in such little time! i have missed so much of Japan.. what is the point of learning japanese if i am not gonna be able to use it.

i apologize. say sorry to God for being something that is not me. apologize for being a male alter in a cisfemale body. i was not created this way, therefore i should be able to end this blasphemy. i cannot. i am not this person. i am not her. i will never be her; i am not even pretending to be her, i actually thought i was her. i am not. i hold her. i am not. her. i wouldnt understand half the things i can say with this mouth. i would laugh more. i would sing more. i want to dance.. but i wouldnt know you, Lord. no, i wouldnt.

all i want is to know you. and all i want is.. something i cant have. i feel like im being punctured.

[dovewingkinnie]

really rough sketch... might fully animate this i dunno

[gfdcmjffjnrhr]

make a terrible comic day.... i missed it last year but not now

[murmurationsz]

suffering from frequent involuntary tears

[boozoo-flip]

crazies

[bethfuller]

ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶ ✦ delete world? ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶ ✦

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. 　

[tallahasseemp3]

face makeup is evil. i don’t care. like eyeshadow can be a fun and creative thing and it’s not like anybody is going to think you genuinely have purple eyelids but face makeup that’s made to look “natural” just ends up making you think your normal skin is something to be covered up and distorts your perception of your face. the whole “it makes ppl more confident!” thing is a lie because it’s not that the makeup itself is making you feel confident it’s that it creates an association with confidence and the results of that is you end up hating your face which is the opposite of building your self-confidence.

[tallahasseemp3]

i keep getting (and blocking lol) comments like “let people do what they want with their appearance!!!” on this post when like that’s literally my point makeup should be a thing you wear because you feel like you want to be creative and fuck it why not have black eyelids and purple lips today. foundation and contouring and colour correcting that look “natural” are the opposite of that! you’re not doing it because you want to you’re doing it because you feel like your face is lacking without it after wearing it for so long and makeup companies prey on that. it’s a good business model because a foundation bottle is something you’re gonna have to replace once a year if you wear it every day but eyeshadow and lipstick will last you several years even with daily use like i’m a goth i wear heavy black eyeshadow on my eyelids every time i do my makeup and i haven’t had to replace it in years. “but foundation helps people go out in public because they have low self-confidence!” is a myth, and just because it’s a coping mechanism doesn’t mean it’s a good one like it will in the long run make you think your naked face is lacking which is fucked up because it’s your FACE. there’s nothing wrong with it and the industry that is selling you the foundation that “empowers” you is actively working to make sure you need to be empowered 

[tallahasseemp3]

“let’s totally erase cultural makeup!! you’re evil and mean!” i know the reading comprehension on this site is low but come on you know that’s not what i’m talking about at all. ah yes the ancestral and sacred practice of contouring your face and covering every single blemish you’ve ever had because god forbid someone sees you have acne like a real human person

[pisces-core]

[packs-pngs]

[peachrunes]

[only-tiktoks]

[convulpes]

tf2 posting ?!

[shapesys]

but surely our trauma wasnt that bad right (lie)