#poly probs

[persepinesascent]

My roofdeck furniture is so mononormative 😭

[bumpyfrog]

My wife posted an angsty poem about her boyfriend on her socials and I’m fighting the urge to comment and clarify that it’s not about me because I’m lowkey worried that people are going to think I’m a bad husband

[truthcakes]

Fuck I miss being in a triad.

When we worked well it was so cute and lovely and there was so much affection flowing between us all

It was gross and great and I Miss It.

We've still got a polycule structure but it's not the same.

My AroAce self really enjoyed being the third to a pair.

Mleh.

Hopefully one day I can get that feeling again

[polyamfam]

Okay it’s literally 3am but I’m so fucking happy Y’all.

So to make stories short, last week, A texted me (again, very late at night) and he was very drunk. We were chatting about life and emotion and shit and this led to him saying he loved me. I of course was over the moon and responded in kind. Tonight was the first time we’d seen each other since and we had a lovely fucking time. We had a two hour dinner and a drink at the bar where we had our first date. And very fittingly, said I love you aloud for the first time there. Then we just walked around my neighborhood for another two or so hours before eventually getting frisky in my car.

Now, A and I have never actually had the discussion about relationship status. We’ve been together for almost 10 months. We’re both bad at this. And I’ve literally been talking about wanting that in therapy since like month 4. So tonight, finally FINALLY I stiffened my sinews and FUCKING ASKED. The conversation:

“Can I ask you a stupid question that I should have asked months ago?”

“Uhhhhh yeah?”

“What should I call you?”

EASY AS THAT. FUCKIN ANXIETY MAN. He asked what terms I was comfy with and I hemmed and hawed and went back and forth and then he said-

“So the terms that everyone is afraid to say are boyfriend girlfriend. Now they’ve been said. How do those terms work for you?”

“Those terms sound great. Those are the terms I would like to use.”

“Great, we have agreed on these terms.”

Then we shook hands like lawyers because of the dorks we are.

then we talked about talking about feelings and a bit about stuff we’d talked about in therapy and yada yada.

Him: “so in summation [as he holds up fingers one by one] I love you, you’re my girlfriend, I’m your boyfriend...”

“And I love you too.”

GUYYYYYSSSSSS I literally can’t stop smiling. Anxiety fucking sucks and I hate that this took this long but it happened and it’s grand and the moon is shining and I am in love.

[polyamfam]

So I’m a little drunk. And my BFF from childhood is in town and tonight we went out to drinks with A. And Because I am a WIMP, I asked her to send feelers around for DTR with A. We’ve been dating for like 8 months and I’ve never been sure if I can call him my boyfriend because we’ve never had that convo. Meanwhile, he and M are fully BF/GF official, said ILY, etc.

She asked while i was in the bathroom and he said something along the lines of, its undefined, idk what she wants. Apparently I went too quickly so she didn’t get to probe more. But he really likes me and I really like (love) him. So idk what the fuck to do. I gotta have the convo but I don’t wannnnnaaaaa. Emotions are scary and annoying.

But she really likes him and he likes her and I fucking love them both. And now I know I need to say my piece. Which is terrifying. Again, I’m drunk. I just have so many feelings.

[polyamfam]

Does anyone else get exhausted by the idea of dating? I go through periods of “hyperswipe” where I’m on all the apps, having conversations, occasionally actually going on dates. But when one too many conversations just fizzle out, I can’t even open the apps for weeks because it’s too tiring.

I also have A LOT of matches. That’s dumb to complain about, I fully have pretty girl privilege, but it can be really overwhelming when I open tinder and the notification bubble tells me I have 50 new matches. It’s too much for my brain, I know I found all these people attractive at one point, but the thought of going through the small talk with even 10 of them makes me want to stick my head in the sand.

And sometimes, I’m perfectly content with not pursuing dating. I’m busy! But then, I don’t see A for weeks because he’s even busier and I feel intensely lonely and touch starved and in need of affection in a non platonic way. And I like to meet new people. I’m just really bad at pushing past the pleasantries and just asking for a date.

And THEN, even if I do go on a date, I NEVER follow up. Almost every first date I’ve been on in the past three months I’ve wanted to see the person again, but I’m just too damn shy to express that. I’m not the initiator and I’m attracted to people who are also not 😅. So I just put in a lot of emotional work for not a lot of gain.

Dating is haaaaarrrrrdd Y’all.

[batgirlbrit]

I swear my partner and I are the only relationship I’ve had where we are genuinely equal.

I’m sick of trying so hard outside of this or simply feeling like a passing interest. It shouldn’t be that difficult honestly 🤷🏼‍♀️

[themaskedphoenix]

Currently flirting with two dudes. One is a FWB, the other is more of a partner/I really like him type deal. Also I’m poly af in case anyone wants to accuse me of cheating or stringing people along.

Partner is currently on a date and I’m lowkey hoping it doesn’t go well with the hope that he’ll ask me to meet him at a bar for consultation drinks and then.....

But on the other side of the coin I’m currently snapping FWB pics of my boobs hoping he’ll invite me over to smash.

But dumbass me will prob still not end up getting any because I can see myself denying FWB’s request in hope that Partner will end up alone tonight and then that won’t happen and I’ll have to go to bed so I can go to work in the morning.

I both love and hate my life