Polyam Ramblings

Hi! I’m Zoo, a polyam, bi enby. Here for all the ups and downs of poly life.

[polyamfam]

Hello! For those of you who know and for those who don’t, I’m doing a lil intro thing, mostly to try out the pinned post feature.

My name is Zoo. I’m bisexual and non binary, I use they/them, occasionally he/him, pronouns. Obviously I’m polyamorous. I practice solo poly and kitchen table poly, with dashes of relationship anarchy. My pipe dream is to live on poly commune.

My partners are:

A- cis het(ish) man, he/him. Been together two years come September (I write this in July). He is married (D) with a child.

S- queer cis(ish) man, he/him. Been together a year in October.

C- bisexual, non binary trans masc, he/him. Been together 6 months. Also dating S.

S, C, and I are essentially a triad. We’ve been quarantining together since March. I was resistant to a triad at first but it’s fallen together that way, and we’ll see how it falls after (will there ever be after?) quarantine, but I’m really loved and love them both very much. It’s been really wonderful and a huge learning experience.

[2-face]

hey why is clickhole so good sometimes

[2-face]

im gonna fucking die it actually uses the word polycule. clickholes on the pulse of modern culture

[2-face]

the diagram? i?

[untitled82799]

Y'all please help me. My boyfriend's dad and my girlfriend's mom are fighting about politics on my Facebook post 😭

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

[polyamfam]

Life update cuz it’s been a minute:

In October I started dating my partner S. He’s a cis (ish) queer man. He/him/his

In November I came out at enby. I use they/them pronouns.

In January I started dating my partner C. They’re enby and bi. They/he.

In February all of my local partners met for the first time for my bday (A, S, and C). They all got along really well and we had a good time. At my party, S asked permission to flirt with C, I said yes, one thing led to another, and I had a birthday threesome for the 2nd year in a row. S and C started dating.

In March when COVID hit, S, C, and I all started quarantining together at S’s place. We’ve been here since then (it’s July 1 as I write this). It’s been going pretty well, but I’m dealing with my own jealously for the first time which has been a journey.

On Feb 15, S and I said “I love you” for the first time. C and I said it on April 3. S and C said it either June 13 or 14. That was hard for me to deal with but I’m glad we’re all surrounded by love and care and I feel really safe.

I definitely struggle with jealously more than I thought I would. I’ve had several bad days and a lot of bad feelings. I’m trying to get better at talking about it and examining my feelings and it’s going well. C and I are going to start doing RADARs.

Today, SA and I finally broke up. It’s been a long time coming, since COVID hit we’ve barely been talking and it’s very clear that LDRs don’t work for me. Not knowing when I could see them next or when we’d ever stop being long distance was really hard. It was mural, healthy, and full of love, and we both wish each other well. We’re remaining friends to an extent and if either of us are ever in each other’s cities, we’ll meet up and hang out.

I think that’s about it. S is flying home tomorrow to spend time with his parents so C and I will have almost two weeks to ourselves, which will be nice. It’s been haaaard but very very worth it.

[13infinity13]

This is generally what people focus on.

[genderqueerpositivity]

(Image description: four photos of a blue, red, and black polyamorous pride flag with an infinity heart symbol in a white circle, and white and black text; the text reads 1) "Too magnificent to be monogamous", 2) "Glamorous and polyamorous", 3) "Love has no limits", 4) "Polyamorous queer pride".)

[polyamfam]

It’s getting difficult to talk to SA. long distance is harrrd and especially with covid, our timeline of when we get to see each other next is up in the air. I don’t know how much longer I can do this

[clownfluid]

healthy polyamorous: 3 people all in a happy relationship \o/

unhealthy polyamorous: joe loves becky and jim. becky is not comfortable sharing joe with jim, but stays quiet anyway.

not a polyamorous: joe has 4 girlfriends. shhhh. they dont know.

[fucking-fantrolls-everywhere-de]

THIS

[young-mrs-robinson-deactivated2]

This is important.

[aggressivelybicaptainamerica]

Healthy poly can also look like this: Zee is dating Buck. Zee is also dating Jade. Jade and Buck are friends and know Zee is dating both of them, but Buck and Jade are not romantically involved.

[goblin-dad-deactivated20230728]

Multiple conversations across different platforms all with the same person are 👌🏻 *chefs kiss*

[mogaicore]

What?? You are ATTRACTED TO MORE THAN ONE GENDER and also POLYAMOROUS? Well buddy let me tell you you are INCREDIBLE VALID!!!!!!!! Keep being yourself

[rouge-the-bat]

i seen someone saying like if ur polyam then that means ur partner "isnt enough for u" or something like what ?? just bc u have multiple partners doesnt mean u love them any less or arent fullfilled by any of them.

if u have multiple children its not like u love any of them less, its not that One Child Didnt Fulfill You.

""you have multiple friends. what, one of them isnt enough for you??? u cant love all your friends equally, even among ur best friends !! just choose one, stop cheating!""

love is different for everyone, its okay to be comfortable with multiple partners or not comfortable with that, just dont try to force one or the other on someone or put them down for being either one.

[polyamorouspixie]

Do you know how much information is out there? How many jokes, how many songs, how many different ways to hold someone, to kiss them? How many adventures, how many secrets? Do you think I can show all that to someone? 

I want the people I love to be free to fill their life with as much magic as they can get hold of, and I am delighted when some of that magic comes from me. 

[sgt-dignam]

Singin’ in the Rain (1952) dir. Gene Kelly & Stanley Donen

[jeaniefranklins]

#key moments in poly cinema

[captainlordauditor]

i, too, am bisexual and so delighted when shown affection that i throw my head into my hands and fall backwards off the couch

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req’d by @stitchthepaleontologynerd

1st place publishing prize in a universe 3 feet to the left

[kurnx]

[polyadvice]

My partner and I are fluid bonded and use barriers with other people - but the condom came off

Are my feelings normal and am I forgetting any precautions in place? Context: My NP & I are fluid bonded. There is a barrier rule when engaging with other partners. Upon returning from an overnight date she confessed that the condom came off at the end of her partner’s ejaculation. She says most of it looked as though it was in the condom when it was removed. I am feeling scared, hurt, and sad and until her partner is tested we are abstaining from penetration with each other.

It doesn’t entirely matter whether feelings are “normal,” you’re having them, and that’s that. In this situation, it sounds like everyone did everything correctly: your partner honored the barrier rule, and when an accident happened, she told you about it. If you can, try to make room for gratitude and happiness that your relationship and communication are strong enough that this is being handled so well.

Accidents happen. Condoms slip off. It’s a known risk of sex with barrier protection. Usually, it’s not a crisis. Getting tested is a smart step, and if your partner can get pregnant, she should also take a pregnancy test. It’s unlikely that this is going to be the end of the world - in the absolute worst case scenario, if an STI was transmitted, the most common ones are very treatable if not curable. Try to relax! No amount of rules or negotiation can prevent problems from occurring, and when they do, all you can do is manage them together.

I hear that you’re feeling hurt and sad, but remember that no one did anything to you or at you. You were not betrayed or lied to, and it was just an accident that the condom came off. It sounds like being fluid-bonded with your partner is emotionally significant to you, and it might feel like an important part of your relationship has been ‘threatened’ or ‘damaged’ - but, in reality, the terms of your relationship remain intact. I answered another question here about how fluid bonding can be a stand-in for other things, and how it can be important to parse out what fluid bonding means to you.

Feel your feelings, but remember to keep things in perspective. Your partner may also be feeling scared (she’s the one at risk for an STI or potential pregnancy), or ashamed, or any number of things. Or, she may not feel like this is a big deal, which could be jarring to you. Be there for each other and treat this like a small storm to weather together rather than a rift between you two.

[bananonbinary]

honestly like i get the poly(nesian) vs poly(amorous) thing, and n(on)b(lack) vs n(on)b(inary), and i’ll change to polyam or ply or enby if asked to avoid confusion, but i also need yall to know that like…its okay for one abbreviation to have multiple meanings. theres only 26 letters and we can reuse some of them, no one is “stealing” anything.

Animal Crossing did not attack Air Conditioners.

[bananonbinary]

now that almost 300 people have agreed with my great points, i feel the need to disclose that this was prompted by a post about a physics professor writing “BDE: 69” on the whiteboard