May 12, 2026 Update: Impending Homelessness/Upcoming Move
Recap:
Back in mid-March of 2026, my current landlord gave me official notice that they will be terminating my lease for my apartment (no specific reason why); I have to leave my current apartment at the end of this month (May 31st, 2026); if I'm unable to secure a new rental before then, I have no where to go (no friends or family nearby that can help me)
What's New: POSITIVE UPDATE!!!
Last week one of my apartment applications was finally accepted; yesterday (May 11, 2026) I toured the apartment and discussed next steps with the owner
- Since I rely on a housing voucher to cover my rent, the owner has to fill out a Request for Tenancy form and return it to my city's housing authority office; then the housing authority has to send an inspector to inspect the apartment, and confirm it meets their official living standards (these steps have to be completed before I can sign a new lease & move in)
- Because of my low credit score, the owner is requiring me to pay double the normal security deposit before I can move in; they're also only charging me pro-rated rent for the month of May; we agreed upon May 31, 2026 as my move-in date, and I have to pay them $2,133.87 on that day
- I've been weeding out which nonprofits in my area actually offer financial aid for security deposits, some of which I'm still having difficulty getting in contact with due to their limited office hours
- I've also gathered a list of places in my area to contact for shelter and resources if I end up homeless again at the end of this month (temporarily or full-time)
- I'm still very anxious/sad about my situation, and the possible outcomes I'm trying to prepare for; as always, prayers, advice, & support are desperately needed and greatly appreciated; if you're able and willing to donate money, my Paypal, Venmo, & Discord info is below:
I had an appointment today to give all my info to get a psychiatrist referral. And I’m so used to people getting tunnel vision and zeroing in on my trauma and blaming everything on that. But the woman I dealt with heard me, listened to me and said she thinks it’s more than trauma and referred me to a psychiatrist to look into bipolar disorder. It’s such a relief.
The last couple weeks it's been really nice weather. Sunny, warm but not hot, all around perfect. I'm physically (and mentally) better than i have been in years. I'm able to go outside in the garden, knowing i'll have enough energy and strength to go back inside. Being outside isn't so exhausting i can barely hold a conversation with anyone. Birdsong isn't painful to hear. I can actually see things even though it's sunny.
I can't describe how incredible this is and how much it means to me. I've always been an outside kid. Losing that was my own personal hell. Last year i got to go outside a bit more again but it was beyond draining. But now i have it back. Not the same, not as easily and it takes too much energy still but i have it back.
Of course i'm now so terrified of missing out, i'm having trouble spending energy on things like cleaning uo my room or showering because that's energy i could use to enjoy spring :/ i have to fight myself every time.
It's just. It's so beautiful outside and i get to enjoy it??? Why would i ever want to do anything else ever again???
told him how i’ve been feeling and about starting this blog. feel like this would be a therapist-approved action. he says he’s going to try to fix things. keeping my hopes to a minimum but going to try not to let the bitterness hide any real progress he makes. might go on a hiatus in order to not feed into the unhappy feels. if i’m gone from this blog for good, know he did right.
I feel like it’s appropriate that I say something right now.
Remember how I said earlier this month that my wife @lovedevildice4ever and I needed money in order to stay in the Apartment?
Well fellow Flowers…
WE MANAGED TO GET THE MONEY IN TIME AND GOT TO KEEP THE APARTMENT!!!
I didn’t want to say anything at first because I needed time to De-Stress and such; Plus my wife got sick from Work and stress but we managed to get the money to the office before the 22nd of this month and we got a chance to stay!
Now we just not to make sure this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN!!! My wife’s dad is building us a house next year so hopefully we can be relaxed by then.
With that being said it is now 2:30am... I have updated 4 chapters, I need to sleep. Very Sad to be missing the rest of this amazing stream.... but the kid will want me to get up and feed her in the morning.
If you wanna leave asks go right ahead. I hope everyone is healthy, staying home and making the best out of this pandemic. Let me know some of your favourite pandemic pastimes.
You know what I'm celebrating. I should be celebrating. Your girl, suffering from massive insomniatic depression and an eating disorder, trying not to relapse, was working 3 jobs this semester and still managed to pull a 95% in her class at school. I'm still thinking it's a huge giant fluke but like. I'm amazed. I've historically been a good student (can we say raging, emotionally damaging perfectionism anyone?) but this is just. I bought myself and a friend tickets to see a Broadway show (Amelie, starring my favorite cinnamon roll and queen Pippa Soo) in April one day because I couldn't sleep thinking about it. Maybe that's my celebration, although I don't recommend crazy impulse purchases no matter how excited I am. Anyway, tl;dr: your girl did really well this semester despite everything and I'm just really proud of myself for somehow managing it.
The show started with a bang, everything was amazing, just like always. Jaidyn couldn’t contain herself, standing on the seat so she could see better. She danced and sang her little heart out. Enjoy every minute of the show. You took so many pictures and videos of the man your heart yearned for. Making sure you turned your face slightly whenever he would look towards your section, which you felt was far to often for personal comfort.
As the show ended and the arena began to clear, you remained seated for a minute, to fully process your feelings. On the inside you were emotionally broken, JB was so close, yet so far. You were sure, had you found a staff member that you recognized, you would be able to get back stage. Yet, you didn’t bother to look. You wanted nothing more than have JB forget you, to live happily, be that with someone else or not, you just wanted him happy. There was no way he would ever forgive you for you leaving, and if he did, he would never forgive you for hiding a child, his child, from him. You had sealed your fate with him when you jumped on that plane and left a year ago.
“Miss, you need to leave” A security guard said behind you.
“Oh, sorry, we’re leaving” You said facing the security guard before grabbing Jaidyn’s hand and walking towards the exit. You didn’t notice the securtity guard reaching for his radio and murmur something to the person on the other side.
It was already past eleven as you exited the arena. Instead of going straight to the hotel like you should have, the two of you deciding to find a McDonald’s for some nuggets seemed like a logical thing.
[23:41] Owen: You’re fucking nuts for walking around this late with her. Please come back… now…
[23:41] You: Oh shut up. We’re like 4 blocks away. I will call you if the boogie man shows up.
[23:42] Owen: Urgh why do you enjoy worrying me. Please come back.
[23:42] You: Okay.. okay… We will be there soon, keep your pants on.
Jaidyn and you walked around, not finding a McDonald's and settling on a sausage vendor. Walking back to the hotel you couldn’t help but feel like you were being followed. Chalking it up to Owen putting the notion in your head that it was dangerous, you hurried to the hotel, easing your nerves as you walked into the lobby and headed towards the elevators.
JB was sitting with some of the other members backstage still. They normally waited an hour after the performance to pack up and shower before returning to their hotel. He was feeling exhausted from giving it his all tonight. Once or twice he could have sworn he saw you, but with so many fans and lights he wasn’t sure. He just kept looking in the general direction he thought you were in.
“Hyung, did you see her?” BamBam asked.
“No, well I’m not sure. I think maybe?” JB said, looking towards the younger man.
“Guys, look at this…. omg!” Mark yelled from across the room. JB and BamBam rushed to where he was sitting, looking at his twitter page. Right there, on Mark’s sister’s twitter was a tweet from you, a picture of Jaidyn in her GOT7 shirt with a message that read “All ready for the GOT7 Concert”.
“She really came!!!” BamBam screamed with a smile ear to ear.
“Wait, I have a notification from her…. she tweeted me!” Bambam said as he looked at his phone. It was a picture of Jaidyn again, in a BamBam sweater. You had rarely used twitter before, but tonight you had sent out a few tweets. BamBam noticed that he was getting multiple notifications from the picture.
“People are trying to get me to notice the picture… We noticed fam…” He said smiling. JB was looking at the picture of his phone when he heard his own go off. Grabbing it from his pocket and turning it on he clicked the message from his manager.
[23:45] ManagerHyungnim: Marriott Hotel, literally beside the arena.
JB took a sharp inhale, causing Mark to look at him.
“What is it?” Mark asked, concern etched on his face.
“They found her hotel” JB replied, still staring at his phone.
“Are you going to go?” BamBam asked softly.
“I don’t know… What should I do?” JB looked up, his heart was telling him to go, run out right now and go. However, he did have logic, and logic said it was almost midnight.
“Go, you’ll regret it if you don't” Mark said. JB looked at him, his heart beating a mile a minute, then nodded and took off. Google told him the hotel in question was a five minute walk from the venue. He figured if he ran, he could make it there in two. So he ran as fast as he physically could, gasping for air as he entered the lobby and approached the front desk.
“Hello sir, how may I help you this evening” The lady asked.
“My girlfriend is staying here, Y/N Y/L/N, which room is she again?” He asked, hoping they didn’t find him odd and ended up escorting him off the premises. The lady did a quick search on her computer.
“Room 516, elevators are to your left” JB nodded a thanks and quickly walked in the direction she pointed, getting into the elevator and pushing your floor. He felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest at any given moment. Stepping out onto the fifth floor and turning towards the direction of your room, JB walked cautiously, scared that this may all be a dream and he wasn’t about to see you for the first time in over a year. When your hotel room appeared in front of him his heart skipped a beat. You and Jaidyn were situated on the other side of this heavy wood door. He continued to stare for what seemed like forever at the numbers. Willing his hand to knock, but something kept stopping him. What if you had moved on, what if you didn’t remember him, no wait that’s stupid you don’t forget a three year relationship. His mind was going a mile a minute. That’s when he heard it, Jaidyn’s giggles and a mans voice. A man was in your hotel room with his daughter. Logic told him you were a grown woman, you could do what you want. Emotions told him to lose his temper, so he banged on that door so loud until someone opened it.
Jaidyn was reenacting all the things she had seen at the concert, laughing and having a great time telling Owen.
“Wow, Jai, you had a lot of fun didn’t you. Did you see your Appa, I bet he misses you so much” Owen smiled at her.
“I saw him… but I didn’t get to talk to him” She replied looking down, a little sadness forming on her face.
BANG BANG BANG
“What the fuck…”Owen said looking at Ayla sleeping in her playpen then at the door. You stood up and began moving towards the door.
“Stop” Owen said as he moved around you and headed towards the door. After looking through the peep hole he opened the door wide.
“Who the fuck are you” JB seethed out, looking at the man who had opened the door.
“Nice to meet you to” Owen drawled out, eyeing the man up and down. He wasn’t sure how JB had found you, but here he was.
“I asked who you are?!” JB growled.
“Listen, before you jump to conclusions, no, I’m not sleeping with her. Secondly, how did you even find her here”
“Owen who is it?” You asked from inside the room, shuffling nervously.
“Well….” He answered, hearing you starting to move towards the door. Owen held his breath for the minute as you recognized the man standing before him.
Coming up beside Owen you looked towards the person in front of him. Your face paled, your breath hitched and in that moment you hoped that the ground would swallow you up. Standing in the door was the one man you longed to hold but hoped to never see again.
“JB” It came out as a whisper, barely audible, but JB heard it loud and clear. The way his name tumbled off your lips made his heart soar. It took everything for him to not rush in and embrace you.
“Appa?” Jaidyn had come to look at the door too.
“Appa!!!!!!” she yelled, running full speed towards him. JB crouched down with arms wide open for her to fly into them. The moment her little arms wrapped around his neck he squeezed her tight, he allowed tears to fall from his eyes.
“Hi baby, Appa has missed you. I’ve missed you so much my beautiful baby.” He murmured into her hair. He stood up with her still in his arms, her little head tucked into the crook of his neck. At this moment, everything in the world was right for JB. He had his little girl in his arms after a year. She was taller and heavier, but still his little girl. He was so wrapped up in the moment that he barely registered your face draining of any colour it had left as a baby cried within the room.
“Mommy, Ayla is crying” There, it was addressed. JB looked towards you, confusion and pain written on his face.
“Ayla?” He asked.
The crying became louder, wailing at this point. Owen looked towards you, then back to JB.
“I’ll go” He squeezing your arm before turning and walking into the room.
“You had a baby?” He asked, pain taking over his joy he felt moments ago, staring at the back of the man who just touched you in front of him.
“Yes” You weren’t going to deny the fact, that the beautiful baby existed.
“You’re with the father? Is it Him?” His words were laced with venom, jealousy was taking over slowly, you were supposed to have his baby. You were supposed to marry him.
“She is my daughter. My personal life is not up for discussion. Why are you here? How did you find me?” You asked hardening your feelings. JB put Jaidyn down, knowing what was about to happen. The air was so thick with tension.
“Baby, go inside. Maman and Appa need to talk for a minute.” He kissed her forehead before she ran off into the room. You stepped into the hall and closed the door behind you.
“Does it matter, I’m here now. I want answers” He shifted on his feet glaring at the closed door behind you.
“I don’t have answers.” You glared back at him.
“Why did you leave me?” He looked right into your eyes.
Silence. This only irritated JB more, he was losing control of his emotions.
“Who’s baby is that? How could you have a baby so quickly after you left me?! Did I mean nothing to you?!” He was trying to be quiet, but anger was getting the best of him. He stepped forward to be inches away from your face.
“It’s none of your business.” You calmly stated as you crossed your arms over your chest.
“Why are you shutting me out? Why can’t you answer anything?!” He said, throwing his hand in his hair and gripping it tightly, pacing back and forth.
“I told you I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m sorry.” Averting your eyes, praying he wouldn’t see through you. Your heart breaking and wanting nothing more than to be honest with him.
“Y/N please. Please…..” He was begging. He reached out and grabbed your arms, hoping that the contact would help you remember the love you had for him.
“JB, it’s not up for discussion. Go back to your hotel” Stepping out of his touch. His temper flared at that, you were being cold and rude, and he was not in the right mind set to take it.
“Fine, but I want to take Jaidyn for the night.” He seethed, all previous compassion leaving him.
“Do you think that’s wise. Really?” JB’s anger finally boiled over at your question.
“Listen, you took my child. No fucking explanation. You fucking owe me this. I have missed my daughter for a whole year because you’re a selfish fucking bitch. You clearly have no regard for me. Since you hopped onto whoever’s dick you met the moment you came back and got knocked up! So fucking let me have my kid for one night. Seeing as I will probably never see her again since you have no fucking decency to let me be a dad” He glared down at you.
“Fine, what time do you want me to pick her up tomorrow” You glared back at him, accepting his accusation. You knew he loved Jaidyn, you knew he could take care of her. There was no reason to deny him her.
“I have to be at the airport by twelve” He stated.
“Which hotel are you staying at” You gave up the staring contest and looked away, opening the door you found Jaidyn still awake watching tv, while Owen was holding a sleeping Ayla on his chest. JB followed you into the room.
“Baby, want to come sleep over at Appa’s hotel” He asked, glancing towards the sleeping baby.
“YES!!!!!!” She jumped up, grabbing her bag and rushing to him.
“It’s almost one am, you’re letting her go this late?”Owen spoke up, looking at you.
“Listen, I don’t know what relationship you have with Y/N but that is my kid and to hell if you think you have a say in this” JB growled out.
“Look man, calm down.” Owen started shifting, placing the baby on the bed and ready to get up. JB started advancing forward towards him.
“Hey, look.” You stepped in between the men putting your hands on JB’s chest.
“Jaidyn is ready to go. We will pick her up from you tomorrow” You said looking up at him.
“Appa, I’m ready!” Jaidyn grabbed his hand. JB gripped it tight while turning towards the door.
JB arrived back to his own hotel with the little girl sleeping soundly on his shoulder. Within two minutes of picking her up after she complained of being tired, she had fallen asleep. He still never got tired of carrying her. After walking into his hotel room he gently placed her on the bed and heading to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. Midway through brushing there was a knock at the door. Hesitantly he went to open it.
“HYUNG YOU’RE BACK!” Jackson yelled as the other members stood outside his door.
“Shhhhhhh!” JB let out harshly. “Jaidyn is sleeping”
“WHAT!? She is here?! OMG Let me in” Bambam squealed.
“No guys. I just want to go to sleep right now, and she needs to sleep. We will get together for breakfast okay?” JB looked at his members.
“Sure, see you in the morning” Mark said with a smile as he ushered the other members away. JB returned it and shut the door. Finishing his teeth he went and crawled beside his little girl, tucking her into the covers. He couldn’t believe how beautiful she was, how much she had grown. She looked like you, had your eye shape, nose and pouty mouth. He had missed so much and now it was inevitable he may never have the time with her that he truly wanted. Sighing he closed his eyes and fell asleep, exhaustion taking over.
“Come on, lets talk about last night Y/N” Owen was prying. The two of you were sitting at a table in the hotel’s restaurant having breakfast, Ayla happily eating little bits of scrambled eggs.
“I’m fine” Taking a bite of toast and avoiding his eyes.
“You’re not fine”
“Am so.”
“Stop lying to me! Jesus, it’s okay to not be fine. It’s okay to be upset.” He was getting frustrated with you.
“Can you pick Jaidyn up? I don’t want to see him again” You mumbled out, looking towards the baby that was babbling beside you.
“Yes, but you need to promise to talk to me later” You looked down towards your breakfast, losing your appetite. It hurt, everything hurt right now.
“Sure. I’m going to take Ayla upstairs to the room. I will see you later” You grabbed your baby and went back to the room, hoping to nap away this nightmare.
“Appa!!! Appa!!!” Jaidyn bounced around on the bed, waking JB up. JB smiled, he missed the way she used to wake him up.
“Good morning baby, why are you up so early? You had a late night” JB smiled, with one eye barely opened.
“Are the oppas here? Can I see BamBam oppa?” She beamed landing on her knees beside him.
“Ahhhhhh, really. You still like BamBam more than Appa?” Sighing as he pulled out his phone and sent a quick message to the group chat anticipating his members to come running as soon as they read it.
“Are you hungry?”
“Yes!”
“What would you like?”
“Can we have pancakes?” She asked with the biggest doe eyes she could muster up.
“Of course baby” JB chuckled, he was wrapped around her pretty little finger and would do absolutely anything to make his girl happy.
JB’s room had turned into a chaotic and loud hang out once the members had woke up. Each one rushing towards his place to see Jaidyn. Now there was laughter, and music in his room, everyone being extremely happy. In the midst of the chaos someone started banging on the door. Jackson being the closest went to answer it.
“Hello, who are you?” He asked the taller man standing in front of the open door.
“I’m here to pick up Jaidyn, but first I need to speak to Jaebum” Owen said.
“Uncle Owie!” Jaidyn ran into his arms when she saw him.
“Hi baby” He said kissing her forehead. Every other man in the room grew stiff and approached the door, all seemingly wondering who this man was and why was he so close with their Jaidyn.
“Why are you here so early?” JB gritted his teeth upon seeing Owen.
“Look, I want to talk to you….. alone” Owen shifted his gaze to Jaidyn’s head before looking back at JB.
“Fine, you guys watch Jaidyn. I’ll be back shortly” He huffed, exiting the hotel room and following Owen. He wanted answers, and this man was going to give them to him.
“So should we follow them?” Youngjae asked.
“Absolutely…. not.” Jinyoung sighed.
“We will hear about it after. Let him talk it out, lets enjoy our time with Jaidyn” Mark said, returning to the giggling girl who was jumping on the bed.
JB led Owen to a table at Starbucks in his hotel lobby.
“So what do you want?” JB was trying to control his anger.
“Look, I don’t know why you feel the need to get defensive. I am here out of good will” Owen sighed.
“Sure, you seem mighty cozy with my girl–, my ex-girlfriend. Playing fucking dad to my child, sleeping in her hotel room” JB growled out, anger bubbling ever so slightly.
“Okay, you know what. Go fuck yourself. One, I’ve known Y/N a lot longer than you ever have, and secondly I am like her older brother. I love her and her two girls like they’re my own.” JB scoffed, tongue in cheek, simmering in anger.
“However, I know who has raised Jaidyn the past several years. I know you are who she calls Dad, and I think its amazing that you can love her just as much, if not more than me” Owen continued.
“Good, because she is my little girl, and nobody will take her from me again” JB glared towards the man in front of him.
“I don’t think you deserve her though” Owen let out, turning away from the man you were in love with.
“Excuse me” JB scoffed with clenched his fists under the table.
“I don’t think you deserve her” Owen stated again, shrugging his shoulders and looking out the window.
“Who are you to make that decision, I loved Y/N so much, I did everything for her. She left me. She gave up and left me after three fucking years. With nothing more than a text. So how can you say to me I don’t deserve her” JB seethed out through clenched teeth.
“Exactly. Three years. She stood by you for three fucking years, sacrificed everything and anything normal because she loves you. And all of a sudden one day she just fucking leaves? Are you fucking dumb? Why would she leave you, the love of her damn life…. three years just like that?” Owen was getting angry now, clearly the man in front of him wasn’t as smart as you let on he was.
“I don’t know, why don’t you ask her” JB growled.
“Wow, you’re fucking ridiculous.”
“Listen, you’re wasting time I could have with my kid. Leave, come back later” JB stood up from the table, ready to return upstairs.
“Ayla is yours.” Owen said looking into the mans eyes. JB paled instantly, sinking back down into his chair.
“What?”
“The baby, she’s yours. Y/N didn’t want to wreck your career. She didn’t want to cause a scandal and ruin your life. She didn’t mean to get pregnant, but she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of the pregnancy. So she did what she felt was the best for both of you. Ayla is yours.” Owen returned to looking out the window.
“Wha–…” JB lowered his head into his hands, trying to process this information. Before you had left, had you changed? How could he not notice. Granted he had been out of country and very busy when he was back in Seoul. You were moody, sure. Had you looked different? Not really, but you always wore sweaters. Even during sex though you had looked the same.
“It’s not. She didn’t look or seem different.” He mumbled into his hands
“Well she is. And Y/N is going to kill me, but I don’t care. You deserve to know. You deserve to be a father to both of your daughters. And I hope, for the sake of Jaidyn’s heart, you continue to love her just as much as you will love your biological child.” Owen’s rough accusation of not loving his daughter didn’t go unnoticed by JB.
“How dare you, how dare you fucking think that my daughter would mean anything less to me because you’re claiming I have a biological child.” JB snapped his head towards Owen. Anger flashing in his eyes.
“Look man, those girls are my life. Obviously I am going to protect them” Owen shrugged.
“What the hell kind of man has she said I am for you to speak so lowly of me” JB had finally had enough. It was bad enough that this dude just walked in and delivered a bomb shell, but to also accuse him of not loving his kid, not cool.
“She hasn't” Owen said looking him in the eye again.
“What?”
“She has never once spoke bad about you, ever. She has cried herself to sleep many nights scared that if anyone found out she had your baby she would wreck your career, and your members. She has put her everything into being a single mom, never once being angry at you for not showing up. She has only spoke high praises of you, even going as far as taking all the blame when Jaidyn was upset for coming back to Canada. She hasn’t dated anyone, yeah, I know you’re dying to know that too. She has only talked about how she loves you, and you deserve better than her. So, before you get all pissed off at her. Think of it from her perspective. Think about what she fucking sacrificed for you. She still loves you, you know.” Owen was growing angry at this point too, but he knew that he could only do so much for you. This was all for you. To help you gain the happiness you deserve, whether the man in front of him stepped up or not, this needed to be done for you.
“Here” Owen threw a piece of paper on the table.
“What is it?” JB asked, eyeing the paper suspiciously.
“Your chance to start over”
[AUTHOR’S NOTE: I hope this has cleared up some misunderstandings about Owen. He really is an amazing dude]
