#proving myself

[robson-gurl]

why do i try so hard when the people that matter think im a piece of shit and not trying anyway…

makes me want to just give up cause nothing is ever enough for them :(

[s0nia246]

Chapter 2: Listing My Worth

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙█████████▒▒▒▒▒███████▒▒▒⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

*Morning*

*Y/N's Kitchen*

You were sitting at your table in the kitchen trying to finish up your breakfast before getting started on your quest to challenge your skills as a performer.

Miku:" Good morning, Y/N!" She waved enthusiastically from your phone's screen when you picked it up, and she had a goofy smile spread across her face.

Y/N: "Good morning to you too." You smiled back at her.

Miku:" So how are we going to start Project: Make Y/N a star again ?" She questioned excitedly while bouncing in place.

Y/N:(Project: Make Y/N a star again? What a weird project name ). I don't have ideas on how to start, actually. I thought you  did!" You chuckled lightly at her excitement while shaking your head in amusement.

Miku:" Y/N was that enthusiasm last night about you challenging yourself to be the Number One Star and wanting to see what everyone else sees in you?"

Y/N: "Well yeah," (I sounded so lame last night). I just want to get out there and make a difference, but I don't know where to start, I guess." Y/N sighed heavily and ran a hand through your hair.

Miku hummed thoughtfully while rubbing her chin with her index finger. After a moment or two of silence, she looked up with a smirk. 

Miku: "Well, what do you know?"

Y/N:" Huh?!"

Miku:" What do you think you know about being a star?"  She repeated while giving you an odd look and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

You: "I don't know," (What does that mean?)"

You think for a moment while chewing on your lip while glancing around your apartment nervously. The only sound in the room was your quiet breaths and the soft ticking of the wall clock in the living room.

You didn't really know where this conversation would lead if you got into it. Sure, you'd want to prove yourself to everyone, but also to Miku.

Miku:" Well, how about this," Miku pulled up a list on your phone titled Project: Make Y/N a star again.

Miku:" I'd brainstorm some things last night. Here, at least, start with Number One. " Miku zoomed in on a spot on your phone.

Miku:" Number One: Watch others learn from them about what makes them good and what makes them great."

Y/N:" Okay, but who could I  watch that'd help me improve myself?" You pointed to the first person on the list and raised an eyebrow expectantly at her.

She laughed softly before pointing to herself.

Miku:" This is my first clue. You should learn from me."

You scoffed softly, but you couldn't help but crack a grin at her enthusiasm.

Y/N: "Alright. But I still want more than one suggestion from someone else."

Miku paused before adding.

Miku:" Okay, how about we -"

*Buzz* *Buzz*

The both of you jumped at the sudden notification sound interrupting your conversation with Miku.

You quickly reach out for your phone and check the message. 

Amia:"You're busy. Wanna hang out with me and another friend? "

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

I still haven't finished the drawing. I've sketched it out.

Also I'm combining this post with this story.

[b0bthebuilder35]

[projectabouthealing]

11-17/05/2020

I deleted instagram app I made delicious dinners   I was cycling through forest, made 13 km everyday I've made laundries I've contacted my friends, we set some dates for future  meetings I watched „Score” document about composing movie scores I watched few episodes of the Office I bought myself almond body/face/hair oil and body brush, with wooden crafted handle I was present at the meetings I’ve wrote few mails I called doctors and therapists I had therapy I was taking meds everyday I worked I smoked pot I picked flowers I’ve sent letters and packages I lent (girl I don’t know well) some money I cleaned my kitchen I wanted to play sims 4 I played with my niece I've listened to some new songs I've had strawberries for the first time this year, local ones I was visiting my grandpa almost everyday I wrote few more poems I’ve changed sheets I’ve changed towels I hope I changed I've made this post  

see now? I'm not nothing. I've done someting 

[awakenedessence]

Sometimes I feel like I have something to prove so badly that I can't find the space for love.

[youshouldseemeinadeerstalker]

Cut a trailer for my boss yesterday and he just looked at it and said „very good“ and „good job“. So ✌🏻Striving.

[honorary-noisemaker]

Sibling Lifestyle

Once my younger brother got his tongue stuck on a metal pole in winter, he was crying and people were doting over him, calling him brave and all that. So I went BABY, went outside, and licked a metal pole in our back yard. I didn’t know how to get off so I just ripped it off, leaving a layer of skin. All because I wanted to prove how weak my brother was.

[theredhairing40]

"more like the fourth"

The Blogger: Everything seems to be falling into place. I am given these opportunities to prove my independence, yet something is missing.

Strange Boy: That being???

The Blogger: Keeping myself busy enough to not have reoccurring thoughts happen inside my head. I know it's going to be a lifetime of struggle with it, yet I'll overcome the worst ends of it... I just need to be patient with myself.

Strange Boy: That's the first step isn't it?

The Blogger: More like the fourth.

Strange Boy: .........

Strange Boy: Oh...