"why cant we just have anything for ourselves?" -in reference to queer terminology/culture being shared by different queers- is nearly always either a malicious attempt to rewrite queer history to create a firm divide between identities and take the labels/culture/history people of other identities are also a part of, or an ignorant support towards that separatism.
i have seen this argument of other queers supposedly "stealing" terms from a particular identity so fucking many times- particularly from radical feminists/lesbian separatists. and i mean people who outright call themselves radfems- i have been sent SO MUCH hate by so many of them as a queer person with a complex identity and "controversial" labels, particularly because one of the labels i use is lesbian in addition to other terms. im a genderfluid bi lesbian- so whem radfems see me, they say say im to blame for predatory men. where the hell does that come from?
well, its an intrinsic part of lesbian separatism, which is a part of the radfem movement- it pushes the idea that lesbians are The Most Oppressed and any association with men is a danger to them. this also means that anyone who still chooses to associate with men- like bi women- can not be trusted (some even villainize masculinity as a whole, and thus are shitty to butches too). many forced the idea that lesbianism isnt just about loving women, but is the rejection of men (and thus ironically defining lesbianism around men).
so even though lesbianism has included bisexuality for so much of history, lesbian separatists started forcing bi people out of their spaces, then claimed they never belonged there to begin with. they continuously push the idea that associating with those outside of their group is dangerous, and erase their shared history with other queers, all while playing oppression olympics to always paint themselves as the victim.
rejecting umbrella terminology (especially queer) while also claiming certain terms have only ever been their own, and other identities using them are actually stealing it from them, is all part of an agenda to erase other queer peoples history in the name of separating Their Label from those they dont like. lesbian separatists have done this with butch/femme, dyke, and even the lesbian label as a whole, and so many people nowadays- ones that arent even radfems- genuinely think its shitty misappropriation if someone whos not exclusively into women (or isnt exclusively a woman) use these terms.
and i need yall to listen to me here- there is a very dangerous pattern of all of this repeating in some transfeminist spaces that is only getting worse with time.
the constant push that no other queers have it as bad as your group and theyll never understand what you go through, the fear of and continuous discouraging of associating with other queers outside of your identity, the denial of historically shared terminology and claims of being wronged by other queers that use it (egg, tranny, femboy, t4t, etc), outright hostility towards other queers- especially ones that are men or associate with men- and so on... all of it is very alarmingly seeped in radical feminism. this is lesbian separatism wrapped in a transfem-separatist bow.
and dear lord, im begging any of yall falling into this rhetoric to please take a step back and spend more time with varying kinds of queers. i know it can be scary when youve been feeling like others outside your group are out to get you, but sticking to such a limited kind of people is only going to make your beliefs and fears more and more extreme and distorted from reality (thats how radicalism flourishes after all), and any people of your group with malicious intentions are more likely going to be able to manipulate you or others into trusting/siding with them (constant assurance that theyre Good and Safe unlike Those People heavily mixed with isolation is how predators and bigotry thrive).
please, we need queer unity. infighting and separatism only makes us weaker against those who hate all of us. we need to stand together, learn from and understand each other, and protect each other.
