WIP excerpt for qwertynerd97 behind the cut, who asked for some Billy Batson and is getting “Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good!”
(( chrono || non-chrono || AO3 ))
Billy decides to halfway-follow Lynn down the hall, since he's still not sure if Lynn actually knows what he's doing with the whole bedtime routine thing but also doesn't wanna be, like, an annoying helicopter parent and make Lynn think he thinks he can't do anything on his own. Even if, uh, this might actually not be a thing Lynn knows how to do on his own.
He probably wouldn't really think about that kind of thing, usually, but he knows teenagers get weird about privacy and stuff like that sometimes, even when they don't actually need the privacy for anything. Just, like—territorial, maybe? Billy doesn't really know what else to call it, honestly. And he doesn't know if Lynn's gonna be the "territorial" type and definitely doesn't wanna find out that Lynn's like that by making him feel weird about stuff or making him mad about hovering or—
Billy is definitely, definitely still overthinking this, yeah.
"Do you know anything you definitely wanna do before bed, or do you want a few suggestions to pick from again?" he offers. "Like, just if you want, I mean."
". . . uh," Lynn says, pausing in the hall and glancing back over his shoulder at him awkwardly. Billy really hopes he's not being a helicopter parent, however being a helicopter parent actually, like . . . works, he guesses. ". . . I don't know."
"Okay," Billy says agreeably. "I can tell you what I, uh—used to do, usually? Like—when I actually had a bedtime and stuff, I mean."
Definitely "lights out" is a different thing from "bedtime", and definitely the streets were nothing like either of those and since he's become Captain Marvel it's gotten even more different than that, but like—he'd had one before, is all.
"Uh . . . okay," Lynn says slowly, half-turning towards him again. "What was that?"
"Well, aside from getting changed and picking a book, mostly it was just brushing my teeth and hair and washing my face," Billy admits sheepishly. "And a bath every other night, usually. Though your hair's pretty short, so I dunno if you really need to brush it? I mean, I didn't even do it most of the time, just my mom always brushed hers before bed and she always said it was relaxing, so I thought maybe it'd help you, uh . . . relax? Though it probably wouldn't take long enough to do to really be relaxing, I guess. I dunno, mine's pretty short too, but you could ask Tawky what he thinks about it?"
". . . uh," Lynn says, frowning oddly. It's kinda hard to tell if he's confused or if he's annoyed. "Why?"
"Oh, I just mean he's got a ton of fur and fluff all over, so he'd just have a better idea than me," Billy explains as he gestures at his own hair, because maybe that was unclear? "And like, his tail and whiskers and all too. Though I don't think he actually brushes his whiskers, I don't think that's really a thing for cats. Uh. Tigers?"
". . ." Lynn says, just staring blankly at him. Or, uh . . . doesn't say, Billy guesses.
"Anyway, you can just brush your teeth and maybe wash your face if you wanna?" he suggests. "I dunno if Kryptonians need skincare, really, but it can't hurt. And maybe just ask Tawky about the brushing?"
". . . do you mean I should brush . . . Uncle Tawky's fur before bed," Lynn asks slowly, frowning a little deeper.
"Oh!" Billy says in surprise, brightening at that suggestion. Because, like, it's really great that Lynn feels comfortable making suggestions, and also it's really great that Lynn's still trying to figure out how to be nice to Tawky. Like—Tawky's really easy to get along with, obviously, Tawky's great, but Billy's still just really glad that they're getting along this well. "That'd be really nice of you, Lynn! Tawky likes to look good but he has trouble holding the brush himself, so that'd actually be super-thoughtful. Opposable thumbs and all, you know how it is."
It definitely does save a lot of magic if Tawky doesn't have to keep turning into different shapes every time he wants to smooth his fur or clothes or just neaten himself up in general. And also means no thousand-pound tigers in the apartment. Or, uh, a fifteen hundred-pound saber-toothed tiger.
Billy's pretty sure that saber-toothed tigers didn't even get that big, actually, but Tawky definitely does not care. Which is kinda funny 'cuz Tawky definitely does care how much Thomas Edison sucked compared to Nikola Tesla, but also being able to drop fifteen hundred pounds of magical saber-toothed tiger on bad guys has been really useful, like, so many times, so Billy's not gonna argue.
Fifteen hundred pounds of magical saber-toothed tiger definitely isn't gonna be able to fit in the bathroom, though, so yeah.
"Uh . . . sure," Lynn says, and Billy beams at him.
"Great!" he says.
Lynn just stares blankly at him again, then turns away abruptly and goes back to the living room to grab Tawky off the table and bring him back with him. He holds him kind of awkwardly, but only mostly like a chokehold. That's maybe just because he's still holding the book in one hand, but technically still an improvement, Billy figures. Like, still counts!
Lynn takes Tawky into the bathroom in the hall, then frowns kind of perplexedly for a minute before putting opening the tiny little bathroom closet and setting the book on top of the rolled-up towels sitting on one of the shelves inside. Billy has no idea why the towels aren't just folded, but . . . okay, he guesses? Like . . . that's something that whoever set up the apartment did.
. . . it's really weird thinking of Batman rolling up towels and folding the corners in all nicely, but mostly Billy just doesn't wanna check for a brand name, after the pajama-trauma. The pajama-trauma is too real.
Seriously, why do any pajamas costs that much? Why do any clothes cost that much?
Billy is definitely not gonna be checking the towels, yeah.
Maybe still gonna be having that Bat-intervention about how to shop generic and stuff like that, though.
Here is A Concept: Taako and Lup (plus the other birds?) in some sort of a Queer Eye AU.
oh my GOD
i mean obviously taako is food and wine. kravitz is fashion and he makes everyone wear a suit at some point the same way tan makes everyone do a french tuck. davenport is design maybe? lup is groooming....? magnus is culture bc he just says nice things to you and makes you cry
idk idk idk i’m not set on any of these but the client is obvi merle suggested by his kids
qwertynerd97 replied to your post “One of my gifts for Christmas was a packet of San Francisco sourdough...”
(Oops, I didn’t see the no advice, sorry, I was just excited ‘cause I had the same starter)
No worries, your enthusiasm tempered it! :D
tienriu replied to your post “One of my gifts for Christmas was a packet of San Francisco sourdough...”
this is why I don't understand sourdough starter - it's so time consuming instead of being less????? (but it tastes so good goddamnit)
I honestly don’t really get it, flavorwise. I don’t taste much difference between sourdough and, say, Italian or regular white. It might be a supertaster thing where I’m tasting one underlying note (like with beer), but I spent years and years in San Francisco and never understood the big deal about sourdough.
feanna replied to your post “One of my gifts for Christmas was a packet of San Francisco sourdough...”
There is a reason why people jumped on the yeast wagon for bread baking when it became widely available. :D I've done the sourdough thing and yes, you have to time it righ! You can adjust the times somewhat by adjusting the temperature, but this will also potentially modify the end result a bit. So you also have to start at the right time of day. The bread does keep a long time though! So, no need to bake every few days, if you wanted to make all your own bread that way.
I think the problem is that whether or not it keeps longer than another kind of bread...I still eat bread, so the need to make more bread is pretty constant. :D A large loaf might last me two weeks if I halve it and put it in the freezer, but honestly I make bread almost every weekend. It’s one reason (texture is the other) that I moved from no-knead bread to more conventional breads; no-knead requires a 12-18 hour rise, followed by a second short rise, which means a lot of pre-planning. If I’m suddenly out of bread, my greek yogurt bread takes about two hours, and my applesauce challah takes a little over three. I can make a loaf of bread in an evening with those, if I really need to. They do require more complex ingredients, but stuff like greek yogurt, eggs, honey, applesauce, I almost always have on hand for other eatin’.
whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome replied to your photo “wandererriha: oldfarmhouse: https://weheartit.com/entry/269315318 ...”
Barry is banned from the kitchen because he put buffalo chicken and potato slices on pizza. (My university cafeteria does this and I die every time I see it)
So I love your crack AU's, and today I was driving around and saw one of those stick figure families, but instead of stick figures it was Obiwan, Padme, and Tiny Boba Fett. I figured that this was right up your ally and then began wondering how that particular family occurred.
LOL! Wow. What kind of circumstances gave rise to this?
Maybe Anakin died on Geonosis. In their shared grief, Obi-Wan and Padme bonded, fell in love, got hitched, and then...what? One of them was like OH HONEY, let’s adopt that kid that was orphaned during that battle we were in? I mean, they are both do-gooders. I could see this holding appeal for them.
