#randomrantzz

[welcometomyjourneyblog]

Grief is kicking ass!!!! I keep thinking how do people live with grief, its horrific!!! it really impacts every aspect of your life. Grief has left me numb and unable to go on.

[welcometomyjourneyblog]

I clearly need to keep myself busy because when I have too much time. I start having too many thoughts and there are never positive thoughts.

[welcometomyjourneyblog]

Man I am so insecure, I really don't understand how I got here but I am here. You see this phase is really new to me, I really don't know how to deal with it. To make it worst recently I have been very anxious.

I gotta take it a day at a time.

[welcometomyjourneyblog]

When people used to ask my single ass...so what are you looking for in a man? I used to give a very vague and basic answer. I used to give the whole paragraph of wanting a kind man, God fearing, funny and loves the community. Now don't get wrong I want those things but I am now more specific with what I want and what I will settle for. Thanks to insecure lol!

I want a kind man, who cares for others just as he cares for himself.

I want a man who is curious about the world and tries to understand it. Someone who loves to read and not just any books, books that are provoking and tv shows that are provoking. He will also encourage me to indulge in these books and tv shows.

Someone that is passionate about development and social justice, not just by words but with actions too.

Someone who is ambitious and driven, someone who wants to make an impact in this world. After all, we should leave this place better than we find it.

Someone who is kind, caring and intentional. I will never have to guess his intentions for me. His intentions would be very clear towards me. Also intentional with my family and friends.

Someone who is fun, comfortable and easy to have a good laugh with. Also adventurous and willing to explore other other cultures via travelling .

Importantly a man who loves God! Genuinely loves God.

That is my list.

[welcometomyjourneyblog]

Its ME time and I am loving it!!!

[welcometomyjourneyblog]

I want something deeper so I will wait.

[welcometomyjourneyblog]

Today is an off day and I have accepted days like this do exist. No matter how much how i fight its existence a day like this will still exist.

Here i am thinking about how I have been desiring a specific things for years now but it does not look like its coming way. Do i continue waiting or accept it? This thing is making me sad because in my lil head I am not asking for much, I want this like everyone else. I keep thinking is it something I do or say and this is why I don’t have it. I am annoyed now and actually upset that I am yet to be blessed yo have this.

[welcometomyjourneyblog]

This is sad but it’s true! I literally don’t know what I do in my life that’s fun apart from watching tv. I need to get more hobbies and enjoyment in my life.